Today I’ve found a few silver linings in the ongoing Hamas story, but first I’ve got a crime story.
This tale takes place in Tennessee, where a mother of three got pulled over by cops, was allegedly armed, and when the cops got up to her window, they shot her a lot and quickly, killing her.
I know what you’re thinking, if you’re a regular consumer of the MSM: red state TN, white cops, poor black lady shot for driving while black, right?
Oops. Turns out the lady in question was a pale-skinned blonde gal who was as white as Lizzie Warren (#wemustneverstopmockingher), and the two officers appear to be black.
I know what you’re thinking now, if you watch MSM news: Okay, so now that it’s a white lady who got killed by black cops, the entire white racist MAGA establishment is out to lynch both of those cops for harming a blonde hair on the dead lady’s head, right?
I refer you to Dr. Evil: How about NO!
First, you wrongly referred to lynching, which is what the Democrats used to do to black folk when they were running things down south. Second, after an investigation, the cops aren’t being charged. Third, the local community, white and black seem to be just fine with this outcome.
In fact, other than the races involved, this story hits all of the same notes whined about by leftist BLM racial arsonist types when they launch a dishonest smear job on innocent cops, but the only one whining now is the dead gal’s boyfriend.
It seems that he’s the one who initially called the cops, because when he tried to confront her about her drinking problem, she pulled a shotgun on him and then got in her truck and drove away. (Don’t we all keep a shotgun by our bed, just in case our significant other accuses us of having a drinking problem?) (No? It’s just me and that blonde lady? Fine!)
When the cops stopped her – after she led them on a long chase and tried to take off after being stopped the first time – she picked up the shotgun that she kept on the passenger seat – as one does – and pointed it at the cops.
After the cops did the right thing and helped her assume room temperature, the boyfriend gave a media interview in which he said what a great mom and excellent person she was, and how terrible it was that they just shot her down like a dog.
Okay Chip, then why didn’t you use the power of sweet reason on that excellent mom when she was screaming and pointing a shotgun at you, and disarm her, rather than calling the cops – who you think should have waited to see if she blew one of their heads off before they shot her, I guess?
Look, if Liam Neeson movies have taught me one thing, it’s that you shouldn’t kidnap Liam Neeson’s daughter and force her into a sex slavery ring. But that’s not relevant right now.
But if Liam Neeson movies have taught me one OTHER thing, it’s that you can easily use your cat-like reflexes to quickly disarm anybody near you. Especially if that involves snatching a shotgun out of the hands of a drunk lady who looks like Liz Warren’s twin sister. If you didn’t do that, that’s on you.
I like this story because it so perfectly debunks what whitey-hating racists always say: Cops never shoot whites during traffic stops, and conservatives only say, “We support the police” as a racist dog whistle when cops shoot a black person.
Wrong again, BLM breath! (Hat tip to Johnny Carson from 30 years ago.) If I can speak for all conservatives – and I think that I can – we say that we support cops when they are forced to shoot criminals purely because…wait for it… we support cops when they are forced to shoot criminals!
Okay, on to the latest in jihadi-cide news. (I’d like to copyright that term, right now.)
I had heard that the terrorists attacked Israel by land, air and sea on October 7th, but until a couple of days ago, I hadn’t heard anything about the “by sea” part. But then I watched some beautiful footage of Israeli boats taking on Hamas boats and swimming terrorists on 10/7, and it was the opposite of what happened on land: instead of facing senior citizens, toddlers and unarmed women, the Hamas-holes (copyright by me, right now) faced trained and armed soldiers.
And they got the crap kicked out of them.
The footage shows Israeli speed boats blasting away at Hamas small boats, turning them into flaming and sinking wrecks. Then the speed boats race around in circles, machine gunning swimming terrorists and dropping hand-grenade-sized depth charges near them as they fly by.
The Israelis were calling out to each other, and though the footage doesn’t show any faces, some of the Israelis sound like women. Which is extra sweet, considering what misogynistic creeps the Islamic terrorists are.
I don’t understand Hebrew, but I like to think that at least some of their shouts translate to, “You’re being killed by Jewish women, you swine!” and “Swim for your miserable lives, mother-frienders!”
Also, I’m a huge fan of one Jew who really didn’t appreciate those who are cruel to children. In fact, He said, “It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.”
So I really hope that one of those bad-ass Israelis with the belt-fed weapons on the boats, when he saw some wounded terrorists bobbing on the waves, said (in Hebrew), “Get me one of those millstones that we keep on board for just this type of occasion.”
(I know: theologically speaking, most of the orthodox Jewish community doesn’t love JC like I do. But I’m still holding on to my fantasy of a millstone in a glass case on every Israeli patrol boat, with a sign saying, “In case of dog-paddling Hamas terrorists, break glass.”)
One other good video released this week came from a Go-Pro camera worn by a terrorist as he roamed through a kibbutz looking for civilians to slaughter. He’s walking along with one of his child-murdering buddies and they’re chatting back and forth.
It’s about 3 minutes long and has a happy ending: a gunshot sounds from off-screen, and the guy howls in pain and falls down, then mutters something in Arabic and lets out a death rattle as the camera angle slowly pitches upward, ending on a shot of the blue sky as the terrorist’s body settles back onto the grass.
I don’t speak Arabic, but I’ve put on my conical purple wizard hat and set it to “translate.” Here are the results:
Terrorist 1: I wish there was a toddler or unarmed senior citizen around, so I could demonstrate my bravery by shooting them.
Terrorist 2 (with the Go Pro): I know what you mean, my friend. I can’t wait until we’re done committing these horrific crimes against humanity, so I can post this video online. Our friends at Ivy league schools are going to love it!
T1: Yes! My favorites are the purple-haired girl-boys! I mean sure, we’d stone them to death or throw them off a building if they were here, but as long as they’ve over there doing our PR work for us…
T2: Speaking of that, how hot are Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar, by our pathetically low standards! I’d love to take both of them back to my hovel and make them wear a black tent and hit them every time they tried to talk.
T1 (agreeing): It’s every jihadi’s dream! Hey, can you cover me while I urinate? Oh wait, I left my tweezers back in Gaza.
T2 (gunshot sounds, and he tumbles forward): OUCH! Oh no, I see Satan, and I can feel the eternal rectal pitchforking beginning. I regret all my life choices….
And, scene.
In other feckless Europeans news, I saw the headline, “Scottish Leader Promises ‘Sanctuary’ for Palestinians (sic) Fleeing from ‘Terrible Attacks’ in Gaza,” and was shocked. During my recent trip to Scotland, I found the Scots to be lovely people, and I couldn’t imagine that any of them are terrorist-sympathizing—
And then I saw the “Scottish leader’s” name. Humza Yousaf.
Oh. Could some Scottish authority remind me which side of the Battle of Culloden that Clan Yousaf fought on? I’m pretty sure they’re the ones with the tartan featuring a Star of David in a circle with a big line through it, right?
Yay diversity! Good job, Euro-weenies who can’t see what could possibly go wrong with importing Muslims from all around the globe!
And now the leftists in this country want us to import a million Hamas-enthusiasts from Gaza?
In the words of Ron DeSantis (please let him be our president!) quoting Dr. Evil: “How about NO!”
Hamas delenda est!
Martin Simpson 