The Democrat Elite Hate Democracy (posted 4/24/26)

If you’re like me – and what a great world this would be if everybody was – you were very irritated throughout 2024 by two constantly repeated talking points from Democrats and media talking heads (but I repeat myself): “no one is above the law,” and “we are fighting for democracy!”

Both phrases, of course, were false. Because: elite Democrat talking points.

By “no one is above the law,” Dems meant, “No Republicans – and especially Trump — are above the law.” And by “the law” they meant, “whatever we can falsely claim that the law is.”

On the other hand, the Dems created an immense scaffolding of double standards to exempt themselves and their minions from being subject to our laws. They’ve shamefully done everything possible to ensure that EVERYONE on their side is above the law.

Did Hunter Biden film himself breaking many laws against the use of drugs and prostitutes? Did he also launder millions of dollars from the Chicoms and corrupt Ukranian oligarchs – not to mention from “selling” those execrable paintings of his – in violation of various laws? Did “president” Biden accept at least 10% of those illegal funds? Did various Biden family +

members also illegally profit from their political connections to the Cadaver in Chief?

Obviously, in all cases. And rather than insisting that any of those lawbreakers face legal consequences, Joey Gaffes gave them all pardons on his way out the door. Just to be doubly sure that all of them remained above the law.

Of course the most glaring examples of this creepy double standard is the 15-20 million illegals whom the Biden administration illegally welcomed in! All Dem elites constantly argue that illegals should be above the law. They shouldn’t be held responsible for the crime of sneaking in, of working illegally, of driving illegally, of receiving all forms of welfare (except emergency medical services) illegally, or of committing additional violent crimes.

ALL of them should be above the law, and you’re a xenophobic racist if you disagree.

For a long time, “no one is above the law” was the most infuriating Democrat lie to me. But in recent weeks, the “we are the defenders of democracy” has taken top honors. Or, I guess, top dishonors.

The Democrats are obviously doing their best to routinely thwart the democratically expressed will of the people. How could they not, when they’ve consistently taken the “20” end of so many 80-20 issues?

The vast majority of Americans want biological males to be kept out of female bathrooms and locker rooms, and prevented from competing against females in sports. Similarly large majorities want to require voter IDs in elections, and for our border to be closed, and for all violent illegals to be deported. In all of those cases, though, the Dems have done everything possible to oppose the democratic process.

For decades, the Dems have happily used the courts to give them by judicial dictat what they could not win at the ballot box, from school busing to gay marriage to over-regulation to governmentally-approved racial discrimination against Asians and whites. They’re doing the same thing now, cheering every partisan local judge who tries to stop Trump from carrying out the duties of the executive, on whatever flimsy legal reasoning those hacks can find.

Trump’s stunning second election should have given the Dems pause. He won a lopsided victory in the electoral college, and even won the popular vote. If the left actually revered “democracy,” they wouldn’t have immediately tried to delegitimize his victory and oppose every single Trump action. Yet that is exactly what they’ve done.

But the most outrageously dishonest example of recent Democrat hypocrisy has come from the way they’ve handled the issue of gerrymandering congressional voting districts.

To grant the obvious point, gerrymandering is not illegal, and the practice has been around for centuries. Part of the reward of holding an electoral majority when reapportionment happens is to be able to draw borders that will help your party’s prospects in future elections. But that power is obviously open to abuse, and in our messy democratic system, there has usually been an unwritten, gentleman’s agreement that both parties will not abuse the system completely, giving themselves electoral advantages far out of proportion to the partisan breakdown of their state’s citizenry.

But you may have noticed that there are few gentlemen – or gentle-ladies, or gentle-he-shes – left in congress these days. And thus we find the Democrats in blue states doing everything they can to corruptly gerrymander the GOP voters’ voices out of existence.

Before any lefties in the audience can argue that both parties do it, I’ll point you to some actual facts. I’ve chosen 5 of the most prominent Democrat states, and 5 of the most prominent GOP states (some because they are contemplating gerrymandering now).

Here are the GOP states:

Texas – went for Trump over Harris in 2024 by 64%-34%; House seat percentages are 66% GOP to 34% Dem

Tennessee – went for Trump over Harris in 2024 by 64%-34%; House seat percentages are 89% GOP to 11% Dem (8 of 9)

Ohio – went for Trump over Harris in 2024 by 55%-44%; House seat percentages are 66% GOP to 33% Dem

Missouri – went for Trump over Harris in 2024 by 59%-40%; House seat percentages are 75% GOP to 25% Dem

Florida – went for Trump over Harris in 2024 by 56%-43%; House seat percentages are 71% GOP to 29% Dem

You can detect the bias toward the party in power by considering how much their opponents’ House seat percentage under-represents the opposition party’s share of the presidential vote. 40% of Missouri voters were Democrats, yet Dems only held 25% of Missouri House seats, a deficit of 15%. In Florida, 43% of voters were Dems, but only 29% of the House seats, a deficit of 14%. Ohio was closer, with a 11% Dem deficit (44% of the voters, but only 33% of the House seats). TN is trickier, because with only 1 of 9 House seats going to Dems, the deficit is 23% (34% of the vote to just 11% of House seats). Texas had actually zero bias, as 34% of both the vote and House seats belonging to Dems.

Here are the Dem states:

NY – went for Harris over Trump in 2024 by 54%-43%; House seat percentages are 73% Dem to 27% GOP

IL – went for Harris over Trump in 2024 by 55%-43%; House seat percentages are 82% Dem to 18% GOP

CA — went for Harris over Trump in 2024 by 62%-38%; House seat percentages are 74% Dem to 26% GOP

MA — went for Harris over Trump in 2024 by 61%-36%; House seat percentages are 100% Dem to 0% GOP (9 of 9)

NJ — went for Harris over Trump in 2024 by 52%-46%; House seat percentages are 75% Dem to 25% GOP

Of these 5 Dem states, MA repeats the TN anomaly: with only 9 House seats, the 100% Dem seats creates a 36% GOP deficit. The other four states produce GOP deficits of 16% (NY); 12% (CA); 21% (NJ), and, with the worst bias (25%), Illinois.

The math is clear: the 5 Dem states were around twice as biased against the GOP (averaging 22%) than the GOP states were against the Dems (12%). And that doesn’t count the recent, corrupt CA gerrymander, which added a double-digit increase in the existing GOP representational deficit in CA.

To top that off, the Dems’ ridiculous lies about evil White Witch Spanberger’s gerrymander proposal for Virginia are even clearer, given these numbers. When confronted about the transparent corruption in VA, Dems claimed that they were only redrawing their districts because Texas did their gerrymander – which they called “an illegitimate, partisan power-grab” –first.

But consider the numbers. Before the recent gerrymanders, both Texas and VA had basically evenly matched House seats and presidential vote parity. But when Texas’ gerrymander was done, the TX GOP was expected to gain 2 House seats, for a 5% advantage over the Dems. By contrast, the VA Dems were set to cut the 5 GOP House seats to only 1, creating a 36% advantage over the GOP.

So if gerrymandering for partisan advantage is corrupt, the Virginia Democrats are 7 times as corrupt as the Texas GOP, just as the 5 Dem states are twice as corrupt as the GOP.

The Dems may not get away with their attempted disenfranchising of Virginia voters, since a state judge declared it unconstitutional, citing several illegal aspects of that stunt. Hopefully a few judges in VA will be more honest than the national Democrats are.

But regardless, the gerrymandering debate shows that the Democrats are lying about their respect for democracy as much as they were lying when they pretended to believe that “no one is above the law.”

And it reinforces another constant in Democrat politics:

Whenever Dems are accusing the GOP of some form of corruption, you can bet your last dollar that they are actually more guilty of it themselves.

Que Mala/Crockett, 2028!

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Don’t Trust Behar or Tucker for Your Theology (posted 4/20/26)

There are some moments in each election cycle when I wonder if I’m not dreaming — or hallucinating – the things that are going on in our country.

One of those moments came the first time I heard that a national political figure was claiming that men could become women. And before I could check whether that was a hilarious Babylon Bee story, hundreds and then thousands of such insane claims were being mainstreamed all over the place.

Male politicians were wearing dresses and demanding to be called “Ma’am” and “Miss” and “Tina Louise.” Lightly closeted Minnesota Jazz-Hands Enthusiasts were putting female hygiene products in boys’ bathrooms. Major corporations were spending (and losing!) millions of dollars on PR campaigns lying about basic biology. Formerly respectable scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson was claiming that sex was “assigned at birth,” like a social security number (except that nobody was stupid enough to claim that you could change your social security number).

Another such moment was when half of our political elite – including the President, VP and head of Homeland Security – were insisting that the border was closed and secure, when hundreds of thousands of people were flooding across the border every month. This went on for years, with powerful elites making these absurd claims while ON A SPLIT-SCREEN TV SHOT with caravans of illegals approaching and then crossing the border!

And who could forget being reassured that the late Joe Biden was a paragon of mental and physical health, while we watched him falling up mobile airport staircases and down over sandbags and off of bicycles, while talking to dead people, and then staring blankly into space, and then pooping on the Pope. (He finally beat Medicaid, people!)

But even after all of those surreal moments, I did not have “we’ll be getting our theological exegesis from Trump, Joy Behar and Tucker Carlson” on my 2026 bingo card.

By now you’ve all seen the “Trump-as-Jesus” meme, and sure, it’s fun to watch people pretend that they’ve never heard of or seen Donald Trump before, and so are shocked – shocked! — that he’d post offensively self-aggrandizing images. But I also understand that people of faith can argue in very good faith that Trump comparing himself favorably to Lincoln or Washington is different than comparing himself to Christ.

And if you accept Trump’s claim that he thought the painting was comparing him to a doctor rather than Jesus, you might have whatever is the opposite of TDS. (Hint: Doctors wear white lab coats rather than robes, and don’t have a halo effect behind them, and heal people with surgical tools and medicine, rather than an angelic light emanating from their hands.)

I don’t have any problem criticizing the Pope when he makes political statements. When he’s implicitly argued against

enforcing our immigration laws, or criticized relatively small numbers of people being unintentionally killed in legitimate military actions but remained silent when the people we’re fighting slaughter tens of thousands of their own people, for example, he’s opened himself to political criticism, IMHO.

Which is not to say that I’ll be going to any Bible studies led by the president.

On the other hand, do you know who makes Trump look like Thomas Aquinas by comparison? The Reverend doctors Joy Behar and Tucker Carlson.

Behar has always been one dim bulb in an extremely dim candelabra at the View. Though she was raised Catholic, Behar now calls herself an agnostic. But don’t worry: she is still happy to share her theological wisdom with you. For example, last week she proclaimed that, “Jesus did not run around calling himself the Messiah.”

This was too much, even for the Mensa members on the View, several of whom immediately jumped in to say that of course He did. Joy’s response made everyone watching dumber: “No he did not! Jesus was not narcissistic like [Trump.]”

Let that sink in for a moment. That’s not some obscure theological claim. It’s kind of important that in the religion that is based on the idea that Christ is God, Christ taught that he was God. (Duh!)

But Joy was not to be deterred, even after Sara Haines pointed out the obvious: “When you’re the Messiah, it’s not narcissism to claim to say it.” Joy stuck to her incredibly stupid guns, pouting, “Yes it is.”

(Shhhhh. Don’t anybody tell her that He also said, “Before Abraham was, I am.”)

Of course Joy was just following in a long tradition of leftist non-Christians simultaneously mocking Christian for their simple-minded religious beliefs, and also lecturing them about how Jesus (and His great teachings) totally contradicts their political beliefs.

But Tucker Carlson, upon hearing the joyless one expounding on religion, said, “Hold my tall, frosty mug of anti-Semitism and watch this.” And he excreted a novel theological theory: Muslims are actually better Christians than conservative Christians!

(Take it from the guy who favors Hitler over Churchill, Putin over Ukrainians, and jihadis over Israel!)

Tucker’s main take-away quote was that “The people in charge don’t want you to know that Muslims love Jesus.” He went on to explain that Islamic teaching “regards Jesus as a major prophet who performed miracles and is expected to return in the future.”

The smarmy, conspiracy-theory tone here is (sadly) typical of Tucker in recent years. You’ll never guess who the perfidious “people in charge” are! Hint: They’re the ones who control the weather, and worldwide banking, and they’ve got space lasers and wear funny hats. And don’t tell Joy Behar, but Jesus is one of them!

Even though those people are known to be super clever, their work was not exactly cut out for them, in terms of how they could keep us Christians from realizing how much Muslims really love us. Because that idea already seems a little far-fetched to us, just because of a few niggling details.

Details like the last 1400 years of Muslim history, during which Islam has been spread by the sword, and wherever Christians have been unable to defend themselves by force of arms, they’ve been preyed upon and killed in great numbers, with the survivors being subjugated or fleeing for their lives. And details like the Islamic present, wherein every country in which Muslims have achieved a governing majority has oppressed Christians (and Jews) like second-class citizens, at best!

Tucker also doesn’t mention that while Muslims might give lip service to Jesus as a prophet, they don’t believe He was the Christ, or that He was resurrected, or that His future return will bring about peace on earth. To the contrary, they teach that He will reject Christianity and usher in a world-wide Islamic caliphate. In that sense, Muslims agree with Joy Behar – never a comforting position to be in! – because they also don’t believe that He ever called Himself the Messiah.

Why, it’s almost like Tucker is wallowing in a Beharian level of ignorance, dishonesty and bad faith.

In conclusion, as is usually the case, I would rather be on our side, with our team – politically, economically, and even theologically – than on theirs.

Politically, I’ll take Lincoln, Coolidge, and Reagan over Wilson, FDR, and Obama. (And Trump over Hillary, Biden and Que Mala!) Economically, I’ll take Adam Smith, Milton Friedman and Thomas Sowell over Marx, Malthus and Keynes.) And theologically, I’ll take Aquinas, Lewis and Billy Graham over Bin Laden, Hasan Piker and Joy Behar.

And I’ll happily give them the points, and still like our odds!

Que Mala/Crockett, 2028!

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Swalwell Falls, Mamdani Stumbles, & There are Still Some Bright Spots in our Culture Worth Celebrating (posted 4/17/26)

I enjoyed reading about the successful Artemis II moon mission, partly because it reminded me of one of the most daunting and impressive aspects of past space flights: the incredible precision needed to re-enter the atmosphere at precisely the right angle.  A little too shallow, and the craft will careen back out into space, and everyone dies.  But a little too steep, and the heat and violence of re-entry reaches catastrophic levels, and everyone dies.

When the Artemis II Orion capsule re-entered Earth’s atmosphere, it was falling toward earth at 25,000 miles per hour.

To give you an idea of how fast that is…it was only 10 mph slower than Eric Swalwell’s descent into ignominy over last weekend!   And just like that, his political career has died.

I know: that was a convoluted path to arrive at getting a rib kick in on Mr. Fang-Fang.  But at this point, there is almost no length to which I would not go to take well-deserved shots at that creepy leftist hypocrite! 

His implosion really was impressive in both its speed and devastation.  On Thursday he was in a safe House seat and was a leading candidate for California Governor.  The news hit on Friday, and he tried to resist the original story…and then apologized and withdrew from the Governor’s race…and then agreed to resign from his House seat at the end of the term…and then resigned immediately…and now is facing potential criminal charges. 

You know that you’ve got a really screwed up political career and sexual history when the most wholesome relationship you’ve ever had might be that time you fell for a scandalous honeytrap sexual dalliance with a Chicom spy!

If anything could produce more schadenfreude than watching the fall of Swalwell – remember that time when he assailed Kavanaugh during the transparently bogus attacks on him during his SCOTUS hearings, because if there’s one thing Swalwell can’t stand, it’s men having skeevy sexual relationships with women! – it’s watching the corrupt Democrats falling all over themselves insisting that they had no idea about Swalwell’s sexual exploitation of every woman within groping distance.

Imhotep Pelosi is shocked – shocked, I tells ya! – that Swalwell turns out to be a recidivist sex pest.  Ruben Gallego was Swalwell’s best friend and chaired his short-lived 2020 presidential campaign, and he was clueless too.  In fact no high-profile Dems ever said a peep about the issue.

All of which might be more convincing if the entire world hadn’t known that Swalwell was banging Fang Fang, and the Dems STILL kept him on the intelligence committee.

Make your own jokes about “intelligence” and “Swalwell” – that’s a slow pitch over the middle of the plate for sure.  But intelligence is the committee most involved with foreign relations and security, and it took the GOP winning the House to forcibly pry Swalwell’s groping hands off that committee.

And the Dems in congress thought that was horrible.  All of the most egregious Dems – including Hakeem Jeffries, Schiff and Ilhan Omar – protested the injustice of removing such a fine, upstanding fellow as Swalwell.

So they can all suck it, Trebek.

Speaking of entertainingly disastrous leftist efforts plummeting to earth at great speed, have you been following the opening months of Commie Mamdani’s NYC mayoralty?  His latest entirely predictable face-plant involves the first of his promised government grocery stores. 

And no, these won’t be anything like the Soviet or Cuban or Nicaraguan government grocery stores, which typically offered many square feet of filthy, poorly lit empty shelves, containing a total inventory of 2 brown, wilted heads of lettuce dating to the reign of Queen Victoria, a package of horse sausage that was more mold than either horse or sausage, and a pair of mismatched, clunky brown shoes, for some reason. 

No!  These government grocery stores will be crammed full of every food product known to humanity, all of it fresh, and basically free! 

Annnndddd…the first store location and plan has been announced.  It is going to be a small bodega, which is expected to cost $30 million taxpayer dollars, and to be completed in 2029. 

Which means that it will actually cost $97 million, and will open in 2038. 

But let’s look at the bright side.  If it is completed in 2029  (it won’t be), think of the great appetite that all of the leftist dopes who believe in socialism and free lunches will have built up by then!   I’ll bet that some moldy horse sausage and slimy brown lettuce will look pret-ty good to those emaciated morons. 

Say what you will about Mamdani.  (That he’s an arrogant nepo baby imbecile, for example.  Or that he’s a communist and a Jew-hating jihadi.)  But he has certainly put the “bone” in “bon appetite.” 

Let me send you off into the weekend with a couple of feel-good cultural recommendations.

If you haven’t seen Ted Lasso yet, please give that a watch.  I never watched it when it came out, because the subject matter did not sound alluring to me: American football coach goes to England to coach a soccer team.  (Nope!)

But one of my old friends recommended it to me, and said that I reminded him of the title character.  Which turned out to be one of the nicest compliments I’ve ever gotten, once I started watching the show.   It’s a really sweet, well-written and funny show, and I now understand what the fuss was all about when it first came out.

In a similarly heartening and wholesome vein, I just stumbled across a YouTube channel called Jack Aynsley Travel.  It features a young, married British couple who travel all over America for about six months, recording the encounters they have with normal, everyday Americans.  

In his introduction, the host mentions that the press often presents a negative picture of America and Americans, but he finds the opposite. At the beginning of the first episode he references “an America you never see in the headlines.  A kind of warmth and pride and honesty that you just can’t fake.” 

The only episode I’ve watched covers the south, and everyone everywhere is really generous with the couple, glad to see them, and happy to show them the local food and sites.  They are treated to some skeet shooting, and are invited to ride in boats, on ATVs and on horses.  They tailgate in Tuscaloosa and watch an Alabama football game (sure, it’s not a Gator game, but still pretty cool), and sample amazing food and drinks and hospitality along the way. 

It’s nice to be reminded that the internet isn’t all porn and conspiracies and lowest-common-denominator bad behavior.

So if you’re feeling a little down, as if the whole country is full of sleazy politicians, violent lefty protesters, Somali scammers and unhinged Tucker Carlsons, check out Jack Aynsley Travel, and tell me what you think.     

Que Mala/Crockett, 2028!

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What’s Wrong with Formerly Conservative Podcasters, & How Tim Miller Hilariously Beclowned Himself (posted 4/13/26)

After two consecutive columns full of good news, I’ve got a mix of good and bad today.  And as always, I prefer taking the medicine before the honey. 

I’ve spoken disparagingly (and frequently) of RINOs and other spineless GOP congress-weasels in the past, but it pains me to see the way some formerly conservative commentators and podcasters have left the reservation, and gravitated toward a combination of leftism, anti-American sentiment, and anti-Semitism. 

And yes, a Venn Diagram of those three issues (settle down, Que Mala) would contain a lot of overlap. 

I’m thinking of figures ranging from Nick Fuentes – who is about as conservative as Bernie Sanders, and so hasn’t ever really fit in the mainstream right– to Candace Owens (ditto), to Tucker Carlson, whom I used to really like, but who has taken up permanent intellectual residence on Bat Guano Crazy Island.  (If somebody gives you A-B choices about who was/is the good guy in the following pairings – Hitler vs. Churchill; Putin vs. Netanyahu; the Iranian Ayatollahs and Hezbollah and Hamas terrorists vs. the Israelis – and you not only hesitate, but pick the wrong one in each case, you should not be taken seriously.) 

Saddest of all, for me, has been Megyn Kelly.  She is still very good on a lot of issues, but she’s gone past legitimate questions (IMHO) about the Iran war and Israel and into reflexive bias that has driven out her usual common sense and fairness. 

She says that when she made even slight criticisms of Israel since Charlie’s murder, many Jewish lobbyists from AIPAC and elsewhere started slamming her as anti-Semitic.  That has clearly made her furious, and she now paints the Iran war as 100% unjustified and illegitimate.  In recent weeks she has railed about how the wily Israelis manipulated Trump into going to war, how they want to extend the war out of bloodlust, and how they have become the main obstacle to peace because of how they are “carpet bombing” Lebanon.  

I believe her about Jewish groups recklessly and aggressively hammering her, despite her previous track record for supporting Israel.  But I think that those personal attacks have elicited a similarly personal and increasingly embittered reaction from her, which you can see in the uncharacteristically illogical and thinly supported arguments she’s been making against Israel and the war.

Last week she repeatedly and sarcastically sniped at “our great, close allies the Israelis,” as when she blamed them for tricking Trump into the war. She’s ignoring the widely known truth about Trump, which she has herself often acknowledged: he is a stubborn alpha – for good and ill – who often slaps around his allies, both foreign and domestic. (For example, he famously snapped that both the Israelis and the Iranians “don’t know what the f**k they’re doing” when they continued to exchange missile strikes after the 12-day war last year.) So when she claims that the Israelis manipulated Trump into war, she’s besmirching both the “wily Jews” and Trump.

She also blamed Israel for “carpet bombing” Lebanon, when they’ve done nothing of the sort. As is their consistent modus operandi, they’ve taken great pains to make targeted strikes on terrorist fighters and infrastructure, while minimizing civilian deaths, unlike their jihadist enemies. Megyn never mentions that in the six weeks of the Iran war, Hezbollah has fired between 3000-5000 rockets, missiles and drones into Israel, killing around a dozen soldiers and a handful of civilians, along with many more wounded and many buildings damaged.

So as per usual, Hezbollah (and their sponsor Iran) have continually attacked Israel, and Israel has continued to retaliate, as every nation has a right to do in that situation. But in Megyn’s telling, Israel continues to hammer Hezbollah for no good reason, other than Netanyahu’s desire to kill, and the Jews’ desire to thwart Trump’s attempt to end the war.

She even signed on to the ridiculous Iranian lie that the Trump administration had agreed with Iran’s demand that Israel stop any hostilities with Hezbollah in Lebanon as one of their 10 pre-conditions for peace talks. As a former lawyer and an experienced observer of politics, Megyn knows that countries normally exchange a list of their goals as a starting point for negotiations. In this case, Trump gave a 15-point wishlist (Iran gives up a nuclear weapons program, stops interfering with oil shipments through the Straits of Hormuz, etc.), and the Iranians gave their 10-point wishlist, which was a fantasy, considering how badly they’ve been stomped since the war started.

They want to retain the right to pursue nukes, for example, as well as the right to control and tax ship traffic through the Straits, and to get reparations from the US for attacking Iran (after 47 years of Iranian attacks on us and our allies!) And, of course, they want Israel to be forced to stop striking Hezbollah in Lebanon. Which, as I noted above, really means that Israel must stand by and allow continuing Hezbollah attacks to kill and wound their citizens without responding.

There is no logical reason we should expect Israel to agree to that. If we were in their position – if, say, an ally of ours wanted to negotiate a treaty with Mexico, while Mexico was simultaneously firing missiles into our country – we wouldn’t tolerate another nation telling us we couldn’t retaliate against Mexico.

Besides, Lebanon is nowhere near the theatre of war in Iran; it is 1300 miles away! If Iran had not armed Hezbollah and doesn’t want them to continue attacking Israel, they have no reason to object when Israel gives Hezbollah some of their own medicine. And if Iran HAS armed Hezbollah and DOES want them to continue attacking Israel – which is obviously the case – we should rightly tell them to stick their demands up their impotent, comatose ayatollah’s cardboard backside!

The whole thing is ridiculous, and the Trump administration (from JD on down) has denied agreeing to such unrealistic Iranians demands. But on Wednesday, Megyn openly said that we’re lying about that, and the Iranian butchers are telling the truth!

I don’t have any faith in Candace or Tucker, but I’m hoping that Megyn will be able to get over her antipathy against Netanyahu and Israel, and come back to us from the dark side.

Having said all that, I’d like to celebrate a sweet serving of schadenfreude that Tim Miller brought down on his own head last week.

Miller is a former GOP political operative and current host of the TDS-suffused podcast The Bulwark. In the past, Miller worked on the campaigns of John McCain, Jon Huntsman, Mitt Romney, and Jeb! Bush.

Because of course he did.

I recently had the pleasure of re-watching a video compilation of the Bulwark’s coverage of election night in 2024, and I recommend it as a pick-me-up if you’ve been watching too much depressing nonsense from Tucker or Megyn. Miller and his companions started the evening smug, gloating over Trump’s Orange Hitlerness and Que Mala’s inevitable victory. And then, over 8 hours they descended through the five stages of grief, except that instead of “acceptance,” they finally landed on “insulting American voters for daring to prefer Trump to the Cackler.”

Good times!

Anyway, last week Miller got offended by Melania’s press conference. And because he is a small man, he decided to insult her intelligence, rather than addressing the substance of her speech.

Because of course he did.

Miller tweeted, “Why can’t the first lady speak english? It’s been 10 years since her husband ran for president consider getting a tutor.”

Let me count the ways in which this small-minded tweet is a hilarious self-own:

1. Melania can speak English, as is obvious from her many interviews and speeches, and the press conference that Miller is referring to. She speaks accented but clearly understandable English; you don’t need subtitles when listening to her. And for the record, her accent is freaking adorable! (Her Slovenian accent – “give,” “it,” and “him” become “geev,” “eet” and “heem,” and her “w”s have a Germanic “v” pronunciation – makes her sound a little like a somehow sexy Lady Dracula.)

2. Miller is falsely claiming that she can’t speak English to imply that she is stupid. But Melania speaks at least two languages (Slovenian and English), and is reportedly conversational in three more (French, German and Italian). Meanwhile, as far as I can tell, Miller only speaks English. Which, if his implication that speaking more languages makes one smarter is true, that would make Melania at least twice as smart as Miller, and possibly five times as smart. Which still sounds a little low to me.

3. But even though English is Miller’s one and only language, and even though he writes in that language for a living, he doesn’t appear to be very good at it. Because in a two-sentence tweet, he makes five grammar errors! In this context, “first lady” and “english” are both proper nouns, and should be capitalized. And his second sentence is actually a run-on. There should be a period after “president,” and the imperative last sentence should start with a capital letter.

4. In addition, Miller’s own leftist catechism teaches that only a xenophobic bigot would criticize any immigrant for failing to learn English, let alone for speaking it with a slight accent. So not only is Miller a condescending xenophobe, he’s also a colossal hypocrite. Because you know that if you dared to criticize a gang-banging human smuggler who has been here illegally for 20 years and yet is still illiterate in English, Timmy would shake his tiny fist in outrage.

When Miller’s clueless, self-beclowning tweet got ratioed by many people pointing out his errors, he stupidly returned to Twitter and compounded his mistake with yet another flawed effort: “Strong move to refocus on Epstein in order to distract from the Straight of Hormuz disaster.”

Never mind the fact that Miller’s claim doesn’t make sense. (If Trump’s non-existent illicit tie to Epstein has been falsely used by Miller’s leftist co-religionists to hurt Trump, he would never try to draw attention to it as a distraction from the non-disastrous Hormuz “disaster.”) Because once again, this time in a one-sentence tweet (!), Miller makes a howler of an error.

Even though Miller only speaks English, and even though the words “straights” and “straits” are both English words, he manages to mix them up.

Now I don’t know what’s in Tim Miller’s head. (Other than tumbleweeds and the sound of a lonely, whistling wind, probably.) But he is definitely gay. (Which likely contributes to his immunity to Melania’s supermodel looks and alluring Slovenian accent.)

So you don’t need to be Sigmund Freud to guess why a dishonest, small-minded dullard like Tim Miller might subconsciously associate “straights” with “disaster.”

In the words of FLOTUS hottus, “Geev me a break, Meester Meeler. You sound like an eediot.”

Que Mala/Crockett, 2028!

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More Feel-Good Stories (posted 4/10/26)

I’m happy to have another good news column today.

Although I expect the remainder of the survivers in Iran’s evil regime to do everything they can to cause more chaos in the near-future, I’m feeling optimistic that we’ll have a positive resolution of the war soon.

The fruit-fly lifespan of the most trouble-causing Iranians continues to be a bright spot. At this point it looks like their one-legged, comatose, cardboard Ayatollah might be the healthiest among them, and our most challenging task may be finding whichever of their fourth-stringers is able to speak for their skeleton-crew government.

One other sign that this story might not be the magic bullet the Dems are hoping will bring down Trump? When the shaky cease fire was announced this week, the oil price dropped from $115 per barrel to $95 overnight, and the stock market recovered a big chunk of the drop since the war started. I don’t know why that kind of recovery shouldn’t be expected, once a more stable cease fire is in place and oil once again flows through the Strait of Hormuz.

The successful Artemis II space trip to the moon and back – along with our soon-to-be-a-major-motion-picture rescue of our downed airman in Iran – also signals a change in the zeitgeist from the recent failure-riffic bumblings we suffered under the Cadaver and the Cackler.

Even in the small things, we’re seeing positive signs. This week Trump’s EPA announced the end of Obama’s 2008 incentive to automakers to install the automatic engine turn-off feature that has been annoying us all for no good reason. I know: it was supposed to save some tiny bit of gasoline by shutting off our engines when we’re stopped in traffic or at a red light.

But even though I’m no gear-head, I can’t believe that that tiny bit of gas savings was worth it, since firing up an engine burns a bit more gas than leaving it at a low idle for a very short time, not to mention the extra wear and tear on a car involved in thousands of more cycles of killing and then restarting an engine.

Besides, as a guy from a blue-collar background, an engine that dies in traffic gives me PTSD flashbacks to all of the dicey, old cars my family and I used to drive! Even now, I’ve only had one new car in my life, and that was technically my wife’s car, bless her smoking-hotness. Our regular pattern in recent decades has been to buy newer used cars.

And I’m very happy to still be driving my 2003 pick-up truck! It’s got a stick, and crank windows, and no lane assist or engine-shut-offs or any other newfangled, added-cost “fixes” of things that aren’t broken. (Get off my lawn!)

On a more substantive topic, I actually saw a positive anti-crime story this week coming out of – and I am not making this up – California! (Quick, check and see if the current residence of the last several ayatollahs has frozen over!)

Of course, in California no crime story can be all good news. This story unfolded Thursday in Tulare County, where 59-year-old deadbeat David Morales was set to be evicted. When deputies showed up to take care of business, Morales opened fire on them, killing Detective Randy Hoppert, 35. A stand-off ensued, and I’m sure Morales figured that he’d end up going to court with a Democrat judge, and getting sentenced to a few months in the can, followed by a toothless probation period.

Because: California.

But before Morales could find that pathetic, soft-headed judge, he had to get through Sheriff Mike Boudreaux first. And through some sort of cosmic mix-up, Boudreaux wasn’t in Florida, where he belonged, but in godless California.

After cowardly Morales killed the detective with a rifle and hid in the house he had been squatting in, he eventually snuck out a window and began firing at cops from a different hiding place. But Sheriff Boudreaux had a heavily armored BearCat vehicle, and the event turned into a gun-vs-BearCat situation. And somehow, in all of the confusion, the murderer found himself in the path of the BearCat and got squashed.

But something tells me that that was not an accident. And that something is the statement that Sheriff Boudreaux made to the press.

To wit: “We intentionally ran him over. Don’t shoot at cops. If you shoot a cop, we are going to run you over. He got run over; he got what he deserved.”

Morales is reportedly in serious condition, with a variety of squash-related injuries.

HA! Just kidding. He’s dead.

Which makes me think three things:

1. The aforementioned, “HA!” followed by “HA HA HA!” and “Next time don’t bring a gun to a squash fight!”

2. If a LEO in California can speak as sanely and openly as that, there may be hope for California yet.

3. But probably not. So if Sheriff Boudreaux gets disciplined or fired because of his excellent deployment of the latest in SFT (Scumbag-Flattening Technology), I’m sure Governor DeSantis will gladly hire him here in the Free State of Florida.

Finally, no matter how feckless the GOP is – and most of them are utterly lacking in feck – the Democrat contenders for office in 2026 and 2028 are way worse.

Jasmine Crockett will soon be out of congress, and – if we’re lucky – running for POTUS or VP. (That’s not new news. I just like to remind myself of it.)

Eric Swallwell is watching his campaign for CA Governor implode under the weight of a bunch of female staffers now coming forward to accuse him of repeated sexual harrassment and worse. (Who would have thought that banging a Chicom spy would turn out to be the most wholesome relationship he’s ever been in?)

Abigail Spanberger’s approval ratings have plummeted in record time, and it looks like the sleazy gerrymander she’s pushing in VA (which she promised last November she would not do) might be collapsing, too.

And as of right now, the runner-up in the Dem presidential polling for ‘28 is Ken-Doll Newsom, in the mid 20 percentiles.

And edging him out by a point or two is…wait for it… Que Mala Harris!

Am I saying that as bad as things get on our side, I would not want to trade places with them?

That’s EXACTLY what I’m saying.

Que Mala/Crockett, ‘28!

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Good News From Marco, and Iran, and Our Airports (posted 4/6/2)

In keeping with the Cautious Optimism tradition, I thought I’d start this week with some positive, feel-good stories.

I’ll open with one of my favorite members of the Trump administration — Marco Rubio – on one of my favorite topics – deporting foreign bad actors.

In this case, the bad actors are numerous children or other relatives of the murderous mullah-acracy who has been running Iran and oppressing Iranians for almost half a century. In many cases, these people have been allowed in legally, but don’t have American citizenship; in other cases, they are naturalized citizens. Marco is heading up an effort to require the former group to leave the USA, and to denaturalize (where possible) the later group, and send them packing as well.

When many leftists hear this, their first instinct is to rend their garments and take the side of the foreigners, just as they did in the case of the wife-beating human smuggler with a final deportation order, Kilmar.

But when conservatives — or others with the common sense God gave most members of the animal kingdom – hear this, they are happy about it. Because they (and we) can easily go back to first principles: no foreigner has a right to come to America.

American citizens have total control over who enters our country and under what circumstances. And though we may allow foreigners who have been properly vetted to temporarily come as tourists or on business trips, or possibly to study, we are under no obligation to let them in, and they cannot force us to admit them, or give them a path to citizenship if we determine that that is not in our interests.

Just as we were under no obligation in the 1940s to allow entry to Hitler’s nephew Johnny Hitler (or Bob Himmler, Tucker Heydrich, or Candace Goering), we don’t have to welcome the children or relatives of the mullahs, ayatollahs or jihadis from Iran.

You may remember General Qasem “Scowlin’” Soleimani, the murderous Iranian big shot who led the Quds Force. (Or, as the NYT, WAPO and PBS probably called him, “an avuncular Teddy Bear of a man with an easy smile and a heart as big as the great outdoors.”) Trump transitioned him from “terrorist mastermind” to “goop in a smoking car” via one well-aimed missile in 2020.

Well it turns out his niece Hamideh and grand-niece Sarinasadat have been living it up in America, while still celebrating attacks against US soldiers, denouncing America as the “Great Satan,” and supporting the designated terror organization IRGC. And their immigration history makes them poster-wenches for the Democrats’ suicidal disdain for America.

They both came here in 2015 – Hamideh on a tourist visa and Sarinasadat on a student visa. A judge granted them asylum in 2019. While I’m no immigration lawyer, I don’t think any tourist visas allow you to stay here for 4 years, and a student visa would normally expire after the four years it takes to get a college degree. And asylum claims are supposed to be very difficult to prove, requiring that you are being persecuted by your country’s government and would be in great danger if you went back.

But Joey “Gaffes” Biden granted them both green cards in 2021 anyway.

Because of course he did.

When Hamideh applied for citizenship last year, she had to disclose that she’d been back to Iran at least 4 times in recent years. Now, if I can turn on my Sam Kinison filter, I’ll explain what a legitimate asylum seeker would never do…

“SHE’D NEVER GO BACK TO HER HOME COUNTRY FOUR FREAKING TIMES! OH!! OOOOOHHHHHHH!!!”

Aaannnnnddddd… last Friday Marco had both Soleimanis arrested, and prepared to send them back to Iran. I think I speak for all of us when I say, “I hope your boat doesn’t run into any Iranian mines when you sail back through the Straits of Hormuz, ladies!”

Speaking of ungrateful foreigners, a federal judge just delivered some more good news to Marco (and us) when he dismissed a lawsuit by a German citizen against Rubio, filed because he thought his visa application was taking too long to be granted.

But this is no traditional German citizen, whom you might expect to be named something like Hans, or Franz, or Tucker Heydrich. No, this guy was named Raheel Sadiq.

Of the Munich Sadiqs, no doubt.

Raheel was upset that his visa application was 9 months old, and still hadn’t been acted on. He demanded that the US government be forced to make a final decision, claiming that the wait “inflicts ongoing human and economic harm.”

I would refer to the aforementioned first principle: no foreigner is owed the opportunity to enter America. But I would also agree with Raheel; he should get a quick and final decision.

And that decision is, “How about NO?” And you’re welcome, because we’re stopping you from “the ongoing human and economic harm” you have been suffering while you wait.

While we’re discussing Iran, I couldn’t forget the main good news story of this past week, which is our military’s heroic rescue of the downed American airman whom the Iranian IRGC were trying desperately to capture.

Thanks to his badassery (despite his injuries, he climbed several thousand feet into rugged hills and hid himself in some kind of crevasse) and that of the American military and Israeli intelligence, the bad guys were held at bay while our guys located and exfiltrated him to safety.

Shot down on Good Friday and rescued on Easter — I love it when the good guys win!

Finally, there was also good news stateside last week.

You can usually identify stories that are good for the country by how little MSM coverage they get, and that proved true about Trump’s deployment of ICE agents to airports to address the long lines and delays caused by the Democrats shutting down the TSA.

Leftists whined about how terrible that was going to be, yet it proved to be a great success. ICE agents actually succeeding in greatly shortening the lines, and an ICE agent saved a choking baby in one airport. They also made a mockery out of hysterical leftist warnings about how ICE would be “kidnapping” innocent American citizens because they had brown skins, etc.

One Dem congressman actually predicted that ICE would be killing people in airports. Another one noted that these ICE agents – helpful, friendly, accepting thanks from travelers – weren’t the same kind of ICE agents who killed the protesters in MN.

Sane people might point out the subtle difference between those who have had negative encounters with ICE – i.e. illegals who were legally detained because of their crimes, and violent leftists and vehicular homicide enthusiasts who justifiably lost a game of FOFA with law enforcement – and law-abiding Americans who behaved themselves and got along just fine with ICE.

My favorite illustrative “ICE in the airports” story took place at LaGuardia, when a self-beclowning, leftist, beta-male white guy confronted three black ICE agents. (Another statistic that the MSM will not report: ICE agents are much more likely to be brown or black than the general population, just as the violent anti-ICE weasels are disproportionately white and far left. Unexpectedly!)

The male Karen had his phone out and recording as he sallied forth on what he must have believed would be an incident memorializing his brave heroism. In his best theater-kid form, he walked up to the agents and started peppering them with questions in an effort to rile them up. As they ignored him, he persisted, finally saying, “I see you are walking in a group. What’s up?”

I know. You’ll be shocked to hear that the ICE agents somehow managed to resist rising to that brilliant bit of rhetorical bait. So then Soy Boy brought out the big guns, asking,“You guys are the foot soldiers of a fascist regime, right? Is that not what it is?”

At that moment, the agents who had been trying to keep straight faces finally broke. A guy in the front smiled, but the guy behind him couldn’t help it, and covered his mouth and started to laugh as all three of them grinned at each other.

That did not please the social justice warrior, who kept demanding, “Is that funny? Do you think that’s funny?” After a few more feeble attempts, he finally gave up.

But he went straight to social media, where he failed spectacularly at trying to save face by cosplaying as a revolutionary tough guy. (And both “tough” and “guy” are doing a lot of work in that sentence.)

Here’s his post, which I promise I am not making up: “They say speak truth to power, so I did just that. Confronted a fascist to his face today at LaGuardia. His reaction? A smirk. This is what we’re up against—but we aren’t staying silent.”

Good lord! How can that possibly be the flex that he clearly thinks it is? First, I’m pretty sure that an actual fascist, when “confronted to his face,” could probably come up with a response more forceful than a smirk. (Like maybe a rifle butt in the stomach, or a bullet in the head.)

Second, when you’re trying to demonstrate the evil menace of your opponent, whatever precedes “That’s what we’re up against!” has got to be a hell of a lot more daunting than “a smirk.”

Here, I’ll give you a few examples:

“As we manned our positions far below the American planes, they dropped thermonuclear bombs that melted two cities and instantly killed hundreds of thousands of our citizens. That’s what we’re up against!”

or

“We had barely gotten into our foxholes in Bastogne when we faced a ferocious bombardment and frontal assault by the most battle-hardened and experienced armored divisions in the entire European theater. That’s what we’re up against!”

​No matter how hard he tried, the best that that poor, deluded fool could do was to get three cool brothers to laugh in his face.

Because I know my Thomas More, I already knew that, “The devil, the prowde spirite, cannot endure to be mocked.”

But until last week, I didn’t know that the same was true for ridiculous, self-aggrandizing, low-T leftist Donna Quixotes.

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While I Suffer, the MSM Continues Their Idiocy (posted 4/3/26)

This has been a disorienting month for me. My pinched nerve has gotten me out of all of my normal routines, and replaced them with new ones that I really look forward to discontinuing soon!

Thankfully, my PT has decreased the amount and persistence of pain I was experiencing in the first 2-3 weeks of March, but juggling even milder pain meds has resulted in inconsistent sleep and a lot of fuzzy head syndrome. (Or, as it’s known in medical textbooks, “Democrat Cognition Syndrome.”)

For the first time since I was probably 5 years old, I’ve gone a little over a month without reading a book! I’ve also missed pretty much all church services in the five weeks leading up to Easter, which doesn’t feel great.

On the other hand, I’ve been keeping up with some sporadic reading on current events and politics, and I’m really glad to have been able to keep writing columns here, even if at a slower pace. I’ve also had the chance to watch some old movies and new-to-me tv series. I discovered Mr. In-Between, a dark comedy/crime series set in Australia, which shares the kind of admirable/repugnant, morally compromised protagonist that made Breaking Bad and the Sopranos so compelling.

Seeing clips of the dead-on-arrival, virtue-signalling Oscars spurred me to revisit some movies from when movies were worth watching. (I know: I’ve achieved peak old guy vibes. Get off my lawn!) I watched The Searchers, starring a young John Wayne, a Monument Valley setting, and John Ford’s directing; The Man Who Shot Liberty Vally Valance (If Jimmy Stewart ever made a bad movie, I can’t remember it); and Rio Bravo, starring an older John Wayne, Dean Martin, Walter Brennan and a young Angie Dickinson. (If anybody was ever cooler than Dean Martin – dressed in black, his cowboy hat down over his eyes while he crooned away with Ricky Nelson as they waited for a shootout – I don’t know who that would be.)

But amidst all of the jarring changes I’ve experienced the last month, there has been one comfortingly consistent aspect of our national life. And that is the egregious dishonesty of our legacy media, advanced in no small part by a ubiquitous double standard.

I’ll just hit two recent examples among many: the third No Kings protest, and the coverage of our month-long, one-sided war against the violent dictatorship of the mullahs in Iran.

The No Kings street theater protests actually do follow in the American tradition of the rowdy airing of grievances against our politicians. Unfortunately, the grievances in this case do not seem to be tightly tethered to reality. (Which is the most polite way I can say that.)

For example, senator Crazy Mazie Hirono accidentally said the accurate part out loud, when she claimed that, “Donald Trump is not, never will be, and has never been a king.”

Ummmm… yes. Exactly. So what is the purpose of this expensive, tedious, time-consuming third iteration of a protest? To prevent from happening what you’ve admitted has never happened, is not happening, and will never happen?

Okay. Well done then, I guess?

Of course we didn’t need an emotionally dysregulated, low-IQ, elected garden gnome to tell us that. Because anybody who knows anything about the history of kings and fascist dictators knows that none of these protests could have ever taken place if there were actually a king or dictator in America.

If you want to test that, quickly rattle off a list of all of the people in human history who ever marched in the streets insulting their king or dictator – even if only once or twice, let alone thrice! — and suffered no consequences whatsoever.

I know. That list is as short as the “days of honest work done” on Bernie Sanders’ resume.

Also, you know how reluctant I am to raise the issue of double standards. But do you remember when Obama proclaimed a dozen times that our immigration laws would not allow him to just declare that illegals now have legal status, because that would be unconstitutional, and that he’s not a king? And then…one month lay-tair… when he declared that all the DACA kids are now legally in the country?

Or remember when Joe Biden dictated that he could use OSHA to force millions of Americans to take an experimental vaccine, and that he could declare that American citizens with no school loans could be forced to pay back billions in school loans taken out by students, who would no longer need to pay them back themselves?

In fact, remember when Biden declared that the Equal Rights Amendment – which had been rejected decades before – was now the 28th Amendment to the constitution, because he said so?

Obama and Biden both behaved much more like kings than Trump ever has, and the Left cheered them on. But now that Trump is trying to use much more modest Executive Orders to do what the voters elected him to do, it’s time to break out the frog costumes and ugly papier mache heads, and rail against imaginary monarchs.

Speaking of ugly heads, many hypocrites on both sides of the aisle have raised theirs to criticize every aspect of the Iran war, out of motivations ranging from reasonable to flimsy to hysterical.

For the record, I think there are aspects of our actions in Iran that are worthy of questioning and criticism. But those are being swallowed up and dwarfed by the number of specious bleatings on the subject.

We opened the war with a strategic master stroke, killing around 40 of the top power players in Iranian politics on a Saturday. The first leftist complaint I saw claiming that Iran had turned into a “forever war” appeared on the following Monday. Because if this war could drag on for 72 long hours, who knows how many decades it might last!

A few days later, the IDF took out the Iranian second string as they gathered to elect the next ayatollah.

From those first few days, many on the left were joined by a handful of sad sacks on the right (I’m looking at you, Tucker and Candace!) in a doom scrolling cacaphony of epic proportions. Despite Trump’s insistence that this would be a very short action – and his track record of just that kind of strike – critics started extrapolating the worst-case scenario of a near-eternal quagmire.

“What if Iran rebuilds its nuclear weapons program during the next 172 months of constant warfare?” “How many millions of American soldiers will die after we put 8 million boots on the ground for the rest of the Trump presidency?” “What about $10 a gallon gas? Won’t somebody think of the $10 gallons of gas?!!”

By the way, and speaking of double standards, check out this head-to-head comparison of headlines when gas under Biden finally got down to $4 per gallon, vs. when it just reached $4 under Trump, as presented on the site Twitchy:

CBS headline yesterday: “With gasoline topping $4 a gallon, it now costs almost $145 to fill up a Ford F-150 pickup truck.” A user pointed out that even this factual stat was deployed to put the worst possible spin on it, by using (but not mentioning) that the F-150 in question was the extended range version, which has the biggest gas tank, and that the fill-up cost would depend on that F-150 being absolutely bone-dry beforehand.

Meanwhile, a CBS story from July of 2022 was headlined thusly: “Gas prices could soon drop to $4 a gallon, Biden energy adviser says. After hitting a record high in June, prices at the pump have fallen for more than 30 straight days.”

Got that? The article hides the fact that gas is still MORE than $4 per gallon, and it doesn’t even predict that gas WILL drop in the future to $4, saying only that gas “could” drop to that level. (Yes. And Joe Biden COULD step agilely over a sand bag on stage. But the smart money is on him tripping over it, falling, and snapping one of his fragile, bird-like leg bones.) And did you notice the source for this weak prediction? Not an unbiased expert or analyst, but a “Biden energy advisor.”

Obviously, the latter article is intended to give Biden political cover for the increased gas prices caused by his policies, while the former article is intended to do maximum damage to Trump.

Consider these more accurate phrasings of the two headlines:

“Biden employee claims that Biden-caused high gas prices might drop to $4 a gallon at some undetermined point in the future.” vs

“Analysis finds that gas prices have temporarily risen to Biden-era levels, predicts they will drop again when the Iran conflict ends, possibly later this month.”

But my favorite bit of laughably biased “journalism” comes from the Bulwark this week. (You may remember those TDS sufferers from early election night, when they were crowing that Que Mala would defeat the Orange, Hitler-esque convicted felon in a landslide. Or from several hours later, when they wept openly and blamed sexism and racism and American stupidity for the thrashing of the Cackler.)

(Cue the sad trombone, and distribute the word salad of defeat, garnished with the sour vinaigrette d’ regret.)

This article, which I swear I am not making up, was written by Jonathan V. Last. (The “V” is not for “victory,” and “Last” is where he ranks on a list of insightful commentators.) The title is, “America Lost. Iran Won. Trump Shat the Bed.”

Did I mention that I did not make that up?

Here’s the opening of the article: “It is true, as the president said last night, that the Iranian navy and air force have been almost eliminated. It is also beside the point. The Islamic Republic has never been – and — never wanted to be – a naval power. They have never made extensive use of air power.”

Then why did they spend billions on all of those ships and planes, J. Last? Just to give the IDF and America a few hours of target practice?

Good lord. The double standard question writes itself:

Can you imagine if the roles had been reversed? If Iran had hit us with a first strike that killed Trump, Vance, half of our chiefs of staff and cabinet members, and our congressional leadership? And then if another strike a few days later killed the remainder of our military leadership, the cabinet, and most of congress, while also sinking most of our navy and destroying all of our air force?

And then, for the next 30 days, Iran systematically destroyed our 5000 most crucial military and infrastructure targets, and then blew up the Golden Gate Bridge as an afterthought?

Do you think that after all of that, little Johnny Last would be writing about how, “Iran Lost. America Won. The Ayatollahs Shat the Barn They Share with their Most Attractive Goats?”

Remember that, the next time Tucker or some other MSM empty head brings you latest update from Iran.

Have a good Easter!

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Feel Good Terrorism Story to Start Your Week Off Right (posted 3/30/26)

What better time to share a feel-good story than a Monday morning?

Today’s tale takes place in the charming country of Italy, which has had a long-standing problem with leftist anarchist groups who are always looking for ways to make life in their country worse.

Sound familiar?

No story about Italy would be complete without some great Italian names. So buckle up for some sweet ones that steer directly into maximum Italian-ness. And if you can read this list aloud without instinctively raising your right hand and bobbing it in the air, palm up, while touching all four fingers to your thumb, you’re no paisan of mine:

Retired judge Otello Lupacchini. Interior Minister Matteo Piantedosi. Deputy Minister Antonio Tajani. Jailed anarchist figurehead Alfredo Cospito.

The anarchist Cospito is doing 20 years for a series of bombings aimed at companies and government officials. His group and others like it have kept the judge and the ministers busy trying to prevent mass casualty attacks. During the recent Winter Olympics, anarchists were tied to three sabotage incidents, including a railway fire.

Similar to our home-grown leftist bad actors, the Italian anarchists have indulged themselves in dishonest sloganeering. A spate of graffiti on the theme of “war against the oppressors” plastered in a Rome metro station in mid-March had counter-terrorism police on edge.

An Italian couple named Alessandro Mercogliano (53) and Sara Ardizzone (36) – with those names they should have been a tenor singing Nessun Dorma and a painter in Venice, respectively –were instead fans of anarchist Alfredo Cospito, with a kind of Bonnie and Clyde flair.

Mercogliano had once been convicted on terrorist-adjacent charges, but was later acquitted. Ardizzone had been investigated too, and connected to charges of incitement. At a preliminary hearing, she had proclaimed herself an enemy of the Italian state.

Unlike the many AWFLs in Minneapolis, Portland and other lefty enclaves, she was attractive. But like them, she was a narcissist, and romanticized her bad cause with self-aggrandizing flattery. During her trial, she described herself and Mercogliano as “partners in life and in the struggle,”

She also displayed the same double standards and hypocrisy as antifa, defending violent protest. She excused her own side’s violence to the court, claiming that, “There’s an enormous difference between the violence of the oppressed and that of the oppressors: the former follows an ethical code, the latter, none.”

Sure they do, sweetheart. And when ICE enforces our laws they are the Gestapo disappearing American citizens, and when violent thug protesters act like fascists they are anti-fascists.

Anyway, as this romantic couple were pursuing their wholesome dream of being enemies of their own country, they got the fantastic idea to build some bombs. They wanted to use them against the police and a defense contractor.

Annndddd… it turns out that they were as good at making bombs as they were at thinking about politics. So on March 22nd, as they were working away in a cottage on the outskirts of Rome, they must have touched the red wire to the green wire or something, because they blew themselves (and the cottage) into fettucini with thatched roof garnish.

Unexpectedly! But hilariously!

At least some good came out of their idiotic and well-deserved deaths though, because the explosion caused their anarchist cell (or clot, or coven, or whatever collective noun applies to anarchists) to engage in some serious self-reflection about whether they should turn away from their violently nihilistic leftism.

HA! I kid.

Leftists’ political radicalism is always blowing up in their faces, and they never seem to learn from it. And they didn’t in this case, either.

Their supporters put out a press statement praising them as martyrs and calling them “a shining example,” according to Italian media. “Sara and Sandro died in action, they died fighting,” the statement said.

If by “fighting” you mean “sudden onset molecular disassembly.”

We should create a Go Fund Me to buy a bunch of dynamite to send to their anarchist collective, and then just sit back and watch as entertaining explosions go off in romantic cottages all over the Italian countryside.

In the meantime, Rest in Pieces, Sara and Sandro.

Thoughts and prayers…for the cottage.

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Two Dem Governors Demonstrate Leftist Folly (posted 3/27/26)

Today I‘ve got two stories to kick off your weekend. I started drafting them last week, but between the pain meds and the PT and the necessity to write about the passing of creepy Paul Ehrlch, I‘ve been slow to post on these two tales. I hope they don’t seem like old news now.

The common theme in these two stories is that they both illustrate the seemingly intractable wrong-headedness of the left as embodied by the governors of the two biggest blue states, NY and CA.

First, NY governor Kathy “I’ll get you and your little dog too” Hochul’s latest move doesn’t just say the quiet part out loud. It screams the quiet part through a bullhorn.

In 2022, in the first year of her malevolent governership, she displayed the kind of supremely confident ignorance that one only achieves by living in a leftist bubble for her entre life. Fully caught up in the TDS that has swept through her party like STDs through a party thrown by Slick Willy and Hunter Biden, she was full of urine and vinegar as she threw down the gauntlet to any non-leftists who lived in her blue state domain.

To wit: “We’re fighting to bring government back to the people and out of the hands of dictators. And we’re here to say that the era of Trump… is over. Just jump on a bus and head down to Florda where you belong okay? Get out of town! Get out of town!”

And the applause of a dim-witted crowd filled the air.

Then, as the Sponge Bob meme would have it… Four… Years…Lay-tare…

The Margaret Hamilton (look her up) of the Empire State is reaping what she sowed. And it is hilarious.

A couple of weeks ago she gave an interview in which she came crawling back with her broom tucked between her legs and pleaded with the rich New Yorkers she had scorned way back in ‘22.

Sorry, “tail.” I meant with her tail tucked between her legs.

Or did I?

When discussing the giant pile of money she wants to spend on useless and counter-productive social programs — Because: New York liberal – here’s what she had to say:

“I’m being conscious of the fact that I need people who are high net worth to support the generous soical programs we want to have in our state. There are some patriotic millionaires who stepped up. Okay, cut me the checks, if you want to be supportive… but maybe the first step should be to go down to Palm Beach and see who you can bring back home. Because our tax base has been eroded.”

“I have to look at the fact that we are in competition with other states who have less of a burden on their corporations and individuals. Remote work changed everything. There were people who could only work in an office in Manhattan and in NY state, and they were captives to our state, and they were going to stay. We saw that that’s not the case on Wall Street, businesses looking at Texas, they’re not going there because they have a nicer governor, that’s for sure. They’re going there for the tax rate. We have to be smart about this.”

Let’s savor the key details, shall we?

Her definition of “patriotic” is being willing to allow greedy politicians who hate you to confiscate more and more of your earnings so that they can be “generous” (aka “wasteful”) with those earnings.

She apparently thinks that financially successful people who were smart enough to follow her snotty commands to “jump a bus out of town” are dumb enough to succumb to the equivalent of an obnoxious solicitor at your front door, entreating you to leave the Free State and go back to New York so that you can once agan be treated like a pimp treats his hookers.

The strangest part is that she actually gets the most important parts right. She correctly realizes that NY State’s tax base has eroded. (Unexpectedly!) She correctly points out that NY is in a competition with other states, and that high taxes are a burden.

She even admits that New York prefers to treat rich people like their slaves. (She uses the term “captives.” But you say “potato,” I say “Gulag Archipelago.”)

She comes to the right conclusion – “They’re going there for the tax rate” – and even clearly states the logical next step: “We have to be smart about this.”

Annnddd… then she falls at the last hurdle. Because if leftists could accept reality, follow logic, and be smart, they’d be conservatives.

Meanwhile her co-religionist commie Mamdani is stepping on the same reality rakes as Hochul. He’s been in office for 20 minutes, and already the combination of his extravagant promises and NYC’s existing ocean of red ink are pummeling him with the groin kicks of financial reality.

Consider: last year NYC spent $81,000 per homeless person, and they’re due to cross into six figures per vagrant this year. And the result?

More hobos than you can shake a crack pipe at. If you could shake a crack pipe. Which you can’t. Because one of the expensive schizophrenic junkies has already pushed you into the path of a subway train, squashing you as flat as the line on Joe Biden’s latest brain scan.

So suck it, Nepo Baby Jihadi and Wicked Witch of Botaxia!

Speaking of spending tons of taxpayer money on eye-wateringly stupid boondoggles, how about that West Coast, featureless, plastic-crotched Ken Doll, Gavin Newsom?

Sure, for pure wastefulness he can’t top the multibillion-dollar high-speed railroad to nowhere, or the gusher of red ink devoted to phony hospice care centers tucked away in every strip mall, P.O. box and mop closet in the greater Los Angeles area. But his latest brainstorm might take the Tinfoil Medal – because there’s no gold left in the Golden State to make medals anymore – for the staggering stupidity of its conception and execution.

I‘m talking about the now-infamous “Wildlife Crossing” (i.e. highway overpass) that is supposed to allow cougars and butterflies to safely transit over the 10 lanes of the 101 in southern Cal.

I know. When I woke up one day last week thinking about this story, I suspected that it was the product of last night’s Oxycodone-created dream. But no. This thing is real. And it’s spectacular.

Let’s start with the details. Haircut launched the project with great fanfare in 2022, saying that the taxpayers had already committed $52 million for the project, and that another $10 million would complete it in 2025. It had the grand name of the Wallis Annenberg Wildlife Crossing (WAWC).

Why does a highway overpass require a fancy name and an acronym, you might ask?

Because you’d have to be an absolute moron to pay $62 million for a freaking overpass! Fortunately for Gav, absolute morons are thick on the ground in deep blue California.

Annnndddd… so far the state has spent $114 million of the original $62 million budget, and the overpass is still not finished.

If you’ve got a calendar handy you can confirm that it is 2026. And if you’ve got a calculator handy, you can confirm that 2026 comes after 2025. And also that $114 million is almost twice as much as $62 million.

If you’ve never seen lefty government at work, and if you’ve never read my columns before, you might think that this is some kind of elaborate joke. But you probably have done both, and thus you know that it is no joke.

Let’s consider how many layers of graft and insanity it takes to explain this story.

First, we’ve all seen thousands of overpasses in our lives, and none of them are an engineering feat to compare wth the pyramids, the Great Wall of China, or AOC’s juicy booty (her words not mine). (I had to throw a gratuitous reference to AOC in here, because I haven’t taken a shot at her in too long.) It’s a slab with a ramp at both ends, some concrete and some rebar and maybe a railing on both sides if you want to get fancy.

So what’s so special about this overpass? Does it have a climate-controlled bubble over it, made of space-age materials and featuring elaborate lighting and sound systems calculated to attract and relax cougars and butterflies? Are the railings coated in gold and encrusted in diamonds?

Nope. It’s just an overpass. The only thing that sets it apart from every other overpass in Christendom is that it’s got some dirt and a few plants dumped onto the concrete slab of the overpass. Because everyone knows how cougars and butterflies hate to burn their sensitive feet walking on concrete.

And before you can ask, yes, butterflies can fly. It’s right there in their freaking name! So why on earth would they tramp across an overpass when they’ve been given the gift of flight and could easily flutter safely above the cars and U-hauls streaming along the 101 on their way out of the failed state of California, bound for a sane red state?

Obviously they wouldn’t, and they don’t. And CA Dems are idiots for saying such a thing. But this isn’t the first time they have made such an imbecilic claim. If you look back to one of my very first columns – archived on this site in late 2016 or early 2017 – you’ll find me reporting on one of the Democrats’ absurd objections to Trump’s proposed border wall. They said that it would interfere with the migration of hundreds of species…including many bird species.

As I mentioned at the time, the Dems were actually asking us to believe that long lines of birds – who could easily fly right over the wall – would instead clomp across the scorching desert before bonking into the wall, falling over, and starving to death. All because of the Orange Man’s Satanic hatred of all creatures avian.

If Eric Swallwell were here, this is when he’d say, “What about cougars? I’m pretty sure they don’t have wings. And if they don’t, that means they can’t fly over the highway safely! Why do you want to kill cougars?!”

And I’d say, “Very good, Eric. Now can you go away while the grown-ups are talking?” And I‘d look around to find the closest Asian cutie in the area and point to her and say, “Ooh, look at her! I‘ve heard that she has a crush on you despite her being a 9 and you being a 3, and that her turn-ons are low IQs and flatulence, and that she has no ties at all to the CCP. Go get her boy!”

Where was I?

Oh yeah. Cougars.

It turns out that a study of local fauna – because you can’t build an overpass without paying a fauna-ologist six figures for a comprehensive local fauna study – suggested that there were around a dozen endangered cougars in the area around the overpass.

Whch means that you could much more easily build a top-notch cougar brothel, capture the local cougars, teach the females to wear French maid outfits and lap dance, then put them together and let nature take its course. Or – hear me out – you could just dose their food with cougar viagra, and in a year or four you’d have enough new cougars to release the original dozen back into the wild, and trust them to look both ways before crossing the road, while knowing that the species was safe.

(Full disclosure: I flunked my class in cougar mating, gestation and litter size – my majoring in English and minoring in chasing girls and playing sports really cut into my time spent on cougar fertility studies — so that’s only a rough guess. And I’m not sure whether male cougars technically have laps. So that lap-dancing cougar brothel might need to be Plan B.)

One other hilarious detail which I am not making up is that one side of the overpass where the cougars are is a wilderness area. Not far from the other side of the overpass is a bunch of subdivisions. Right now the people living in those subdivisions only have to worry about their neighborhoods being plagued by illegal gangbangers, mounds of trash and syringes, and recidivist criminals and junkies who keep getting re-released there. Oh, and earthquakes and preventable fires that will definitely not be prevented.

So look at the bright side, blue voters. Once that wildlife crossing is completed, you and your children will likely be mauled or eaten by cougars long before God’s wrath or the lesbian DEI-hire Fire Chief can kill you by earthquake or fire, respectively.

And that’s why the story I read about this was headlined, “The Most Gavin Newsom Story Ever.”

Yes, the whole thing is absurd, and Californians who keep voting Dem deserve to have leftist politicians confiscate their money, pile it up in giant mounds, and then set it on fire. This ridiculous uncompleted overpass has been under construction for 4 and a half years, and will likely cost $200 million, assumng it is ever finished.

By comparison, there was another overpass in CA that took 4.5 years to complete, and for only $35 million. Of course, that was in 1930s dollars. But then again, it wasn’t just an ugly, squat overpass. It was a full-sized bridge, and it was quite attractive compared to the ugly AWAC.

It’s called The Golden Gate Bridge.

Great job, California!

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Remembering an Obnoxious Academic (posted 3/23/26)

I originally meant this column to be about three very foolish ideas of three very foolish leftists: Gavin Newsom, Kathy Hochul and Paul Ehrlich. But as I started writing about Ehrlich, I realized that the column would be too long. So I’m saving the two blue-state governors for next time.

Paul Ehrlich died at 93 on March 13th. He may have been the most pure distillation of a leftist academic in the world, except that (as far as I know) he wasn’t obsessed with racism and sexism. But he covered pretty much the rest of the leftist catechism. He was arrogant and sure of his superior knowledge, no matter how many times over how many decades his ideas were decisively (and humiliatingly) proved wrong.

He hated humanity and was the kind of “environmentalist” — I use the scare quotes to distinguish moral and legitimate environmentalism from the ignoble politicized variant of it – who saw human beings as a cancer on the planet. His leftist politics immunized him from suffering any damage to his reputation even as he was continually proven wrong; in fact he continued to receive plaudits and awards throughout his career.

Ehrlich was a biologist, but his career was marked by politicized “science.” His most famous and influential work, “The Population Bomb (1968), was full of pessimistic predictions, beginning with its opening sentences: “The battle to feed all of humanity is over. In the 1970s and 1980s hundreds of millions of people will starve to death in spite of any crash programs embarked upon now.”

Among other things, Ehrlich predicted that, “England will not exist in the year 2000; the US would be rationing water by 1974 and food by 1980; smog in LA and New York would cause some 200,000 deaths per year,” and that Americans born after WWII wouldn’t live past 50.

Think of him as Al Gore with an academic credential: often wrong, but never in doubt.

Ehrlich made one mistake that most academics never make: he actually tested his ideas in a high-profile way in the real world. In 1980, economist Julian Simon offered a public, $10,000 bet: Ehrlich’s leftist theories said that all natural resources were going to become scarcer, and therefore more expensive. Simon was a conservative and therefore a generally (some might say cautiously) optimistic capitalist: he predicted that human ingenuity and a free market would make the price of commodities go down.

So Simon offered to let Ehrlich choose any five resources that he wanted, and Ehrlich could bet that in ten years, those would be more expensive. Ehrlich took the bait, and after insulting Simon’s simplistic ideology, chose five metals as the resources he was most certain about: chromium, copper, nickel, tin, and tungsten.

Annnnnddddd… Simon won the bet in 1990, when all five metals were cheaper.

The way Ehrlich handled his loss was straight out of the leftist handbook: he lied like crazy, insisted that his ideas were still correct, and insulted Simon’s intelligence for years afterward. Simon, enjoying his victory and happy to needle his arrogant opponent, offered to renew the bet, double or nothing, for another 10 years, on any other resource of Ehrlich’s choosing.

Ehrlich was at least smart enough to turn down that offer, and he did actually pay the bet off. Luckily for Ehrlich, though, he could easily pay the bet off, because he had just received a “genius” grant for $450K.

Because: of course he did. Despite, again, being wrong about everything!

When I was still a professor, this kind of thing drove me crazy. No matter how many times lefty theories and predictions failed, the lefties were not deterred, and persisted in their folly. There’s a conservative joke about this, which has a leftist condescending to a conservative, saying, “I know your ideas work in the real world. But do they work in theory?”

Examples abound. The lefty religion of Marxism had massive appeal before it was first put into real-world practice in the USSR in 1917. In the following century it was tried over and over again, all over the world. And failed every time, producing poverty, famine, environmental devastation, brutal police states and at least 100 million deaths.

So naturally, you can look at any course list in liberal arts departments all over the country and find hundreds of courses touting Marxism. And you can find old nitwits like Bernie Sanders and young nitwits like AOC and hundreds of politicians like them, all confidently vowing that THIS time their lefty schemes will work perfectly.

People have been fleeing socialist/communist countries for freer market countries for over a century. Productive Americans have been leaving leftist blue cities and states for red states for several decades.

And still, like Paul Ehrlich, the Dems are convinced that their theories are right.

To the day he died he never admitted any errors in his work, and if you read a legacy media obituary of him, you’ll be slogging through a miasma of covering up and intentional point missing to lionize a lefty co-religionist.

For example, the subhead of his New York Times’ obituary says, “His best-selling 1968 book, which forecast global famines, made him a leader of the environmental movement. But he faced criticism when his predictions proved premature.”

Got that? “Premature!” For 60 years he confidently predicted the opposite of what actually happened. But the NYT asks us to just give it another century or two, and he’ll be proven right.

Ehrlich was sure that even in the first world, life spans would get drastically shorter, and millions would starve. Annnnddd… we’re living longer than ever, and one of our big problems isn’t starvation, it’s obesity.

He was a huge fan of abortion, and left the door open for coerced sterilization and abortion, because he was sure that our skyrocketing birthrates would bring disaster. Annnnddddd… almost all first-world nations have a below-replacement birthrate.

It would be harder to be more wrong, more often than Paul Ehrlich was.

But the left is giving it their best shot.

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