To all who have passed along kind words, thoughts and prayers for my mom, I really appreciate that. I don’t want this column to become one big over-share fest, but I did want to give a quick update.
She’s done very well since her stroke, though a slight speech slur is still there, especially when she’s tired. The effects of her relatively early-stage Alzheimer’s are also exaggerated when she’s tired, and especially when she first wakes up. But her bone-deep kindness is untouched, even as her memories are eroding.
After her hospital visit, my sister decided to sleep in mom’s bed with her on her first night back home, because she was still unsteady on her feet, and we were worried she’d fall if she got up in the night to go to the bathroom. Not long after falling asleep, mom woke up and turned to Rhonda, looking a little startled to see her there.
Rhonda said, “I’m sleeping with you tonight.”
And mom said, “Oh, okay. Did you have a bad dream?”
That’s my mom.
And sure, she’s becoming mentally compromised, and she slurs her speech, and she sun-downs pretty regularly. But would she still make a much better president than Joe Biden, right now?
Damn straight! And not just because she would have me as an advisor.
Turning to current events , there’s a lot to criticize the GOP over, but I’m going to hold off on that now. Mostly because I’m trying to maintain my optimism, and there is actually a lot of good news out there, if you look for it.
For example, the news out of Israel is mostly good, and on many fronts.
On the battlefield, the IDF is showing Hamas how much easier terrorist life is when you’re attacking babies in cribs and hippie chicks at a rave, rather than actual Israeli soldiers. They’ve been blowing up tunnels and killing terrorists, and they’ve taken control of the main hospital in Gaza, under which Hamas cowards hid a major base and weapons depot. (Which, the Geneva conventions say, is a war crime.)
By the way, if you’re not following the conservative humor site The Babylon Bee, you should be, because those guys are a national treasure, and they’ve been hitting the ball hard lately!
Two recent sample stories: Over a pic of the gigantic pro-Hamas rally in Trafalgar Square, they posted the headline, “80 Years After Hitler Failed, Nazis Finally Seize London.” Amid fake quotes from elderly Nazis with tears of joy in their eyes after hearing chants of, “Death to the Jews” and “Final Solution,” the story has the London mayor warning British Jews of the dangers of engaging in “Nazi-phobia.”
A second story has a Hamas spokesman claiming that all the AK-47s found in the Gaza hospital were “strictly for medical use:” “By confiscating these weapons, they are depriving sick children of the life-saving medical care that these rifles, rockets and bombs provide. Death to Israel, thank you.”
Perfect!
On the PR front, things are going poorly for Hamas, too. Of course the terror-supporters and Jew-haters in the UN and our media and on our campuses have pulled their hijabs over their heads, and are wailing about the genocide the IDF is carrying out… by killing terrorists who started this war by carrying out a wave of genocidal attacks.
But those malevolent freaks are revealing who they are, and simultaneously making themselves look ridiculous. Every rally and protest they hold is marked by hateful, rhyming chants, ugly threats and bigotry, and clashes with any police who even marginally try to enforce laws.
A few pathetic pseudo-Jewish groups have also joined in – “Jewish Voices for Peace” is one, and its members didn’t even know how to properly wear the religious garments they put on as costumes. One obese female identified herself as a “rabbi,” and joined famous anti-Semite Rashida Tlaib (she’s as lovely on the inside as she is on the outside) in calls for a cease-fire that would only give Hamas breathing room and time to re-arm.
Those people are about as Jewish as a ham sandwich with a side of bacon under a Christmas tree, and they’re not fooling anyone.
By comparison, Israel-supporters have conducted themselves remarkably well. If you only watched the MSM, you probably don’t know about the gigantic pro-Israel rally that took place on the Washington Mall on Tuesday. Nearly 300,000 people attended, waving American and Israeli flags and being all peaceful and stuff.
And – I’m just calling balls and strikes here – even mentally compromised Frankenstein body-double John Fetterman behaved well! He draped himself in an Israeli flag, thus driving tons of lefties out of their “minds” on social media afterwards.
And while I’m not usually one for draping yourself in a flag, considering Fetterman’s usual outfit – in which he cosplays as an unemployed basement dweller in a hoodie, gym shorts and crocs – the flag was a huge improvement.
Early reports indicate the following stats from the pro-Israel march: Number of injuries or assaults: 0. Number of genocidal chants: 0. Number of Wishing Death on others: 0. Number of vandalism incidents: 0. Number of a-holes wearing masks to hide their evil words and deeds: 0. Number of evil words and deeds: 0.
I’m also glad to see the way Israel has been resisting calls to let up on Hamas, including from our Cadaver in Chief. By the powers of my magical, conical wizard hat, I am now privy to Biden’s phone call with Bibi Netanyahu:
Biden: Hello? Is this Bebe Neuwirth?
Bibi: No, she was Frazier’s wife on Cheers. I’m Bibi Netanyahu.
Biden: What? Oh yeah. Okay, listen, I’m gonna need a geese tire from you.
Bibi: A what?
Biden: You heard me. A cheese spire. I mean… a fleece liar. You know… you know the thing.
Bibi: Do you mean a “cease fire?”
Biden: Yes! That’s it. I’m gonna need one of those.
Bibi: Yeah, we’re not going to do that.
Biden: Why not? My boss Barack tells me that those therapists aren’t so bad.
Bibi: Therapists? Do you mean “terrorists”?
Biden: Don’t get smart with me, B.B. King!
Bibi: It’s Netanya—oh, never mind. Listen, I’m pretty busy, so why don’t you have some ice cream and take a nap, and we’ll keep killing jihadi murderers over here.
Biden: Ooh, lint small-hut trip is my favorite!
Bibi: Do you mean “mint chocolate chip?” Okay, it’s going to sound like I’m hanging up now…
And, scene.
In other news, some Dem politicians have been taking it on the chin lately, in very satisfying ways.
You probably don’t remember Buta Biberaj, but she was the Soros-funded soft-on-crime Loudon County prosecutor who went after the father of a girl raped by a “trans” student in a school bathroom. When the father raised his voice during a school board meeting where corrupt educrats were trying to cover up the rape, he was charged with disorderly conduct, and Buta wanted to prosecute and jail him.
Even though she out-spent her opponent 10-to-1, she narrowly lost her re-election earlier this month. She spent the week after the election disputing the vote total. Which, as you may remember, makes her – insert scary organ sting here – an ELECTION DENIER!
But rather than bankrupting her and throwing her in jail for many years, Virginia officials patiently waited while the truth sank in: Biberaj finally accepted that the voters had thrown her Buta out of office!
I saw another story headline this week that began, “Stacy Abrams hardest hit…” So I naturally clicked on it, expecting to see the rest of the headline: “… by anti-tank RPG.”
But no, it was about MLB scheduling the 2025 All-Star game in Atlanta, despite all the leftist whining and boycotting over the voter integrity law passed by GA in 2021.
Because if there’s one thing the Democrat bosses hate, it’s integrity in general. And if there’s one thing they hate even more? Voter Integrity.
Regular readers know my fears that if Trump is our nominee and appears to be likely to beat Biden, the Dems will suddenly “discover” that Biden died in the fall of 2020, and they’ll give him a proper burial, and then bring Gavin Newsom in to defeat Trump.
Well those fears have been eased a bit this week, when Newsom maneuvered himself into a lose-lose situation by cleaning up San Francisco before murderous Chicom dictator (the Left’s favorite kind of world leader!) came to visit.
I say lose-lose because had Ken Doll been unable to clean up the filthy city where he used to be mayor, it would be yet another example of Democrat unfitness to govern.
But when it turned out that he could clean up Syringe City (Theme song: “I left my heart… in Feces Cisco”), the act of doing so just proved to Californians that their misery is fixable, and that the Dems who run that state literally don’t want to fix it.
The message is clear: Forcing a leftist dictator to run a garbage gauntlet and navigate poop drifts would embarrass us; forcing you peons to do that every single day is perfectly acceptable to us.
And when Xi has been gone for a week and the Third World ambience has returned? Those GOP ads write themselves, and they make Empty Haircut a little more beatable, even against Trump.
Finally, the execrable America-hating Megan Rapinoe’s soccer career is over, and the last chapter was a thing of beauty.
In the opening minutes of her final game, she was lightly jogging, far away from the action – she was the one on the very edge of the screen, with the purple hair and the hate-stink coming off of her in waves –when she went down with what turned out to be a torn Achilles.
Her team went on to lose – but are there really any winners in a soccer match? – and afterwards she blamed God for not existing, and thus not preventing such a great person as her from suffering such a humiliating and yet hilarious injury. In her own, incoherent words, “If there is a god, like, this is proof that there isn’t.”
I’m no theologian – though compared to Megan Rapinoe, I’m St. Augustine, Thomas Aquinas and C.S. Lewis all rolled into one ruggedly handsome ball of Solomonic wisdom – but I think I see God’s hand in this.
Because I believe that He has a great sense of humor. (It’s the only reason I can think of why I’m one of his particular favorite fallen humans.)
And I like to think that he extended his invisible hand down to earth, and while Megan was wandering around the soccer rink – or whatever it’s called – not even close to a “play” (or whatever they call it in soccer) He oh so lightly touched her Achilles tendon, snapping it and giving her one final humiliation on the national stage before she retreats into well-deserved obscurity.
Now THAT’S funny. And though God doesn’t need to hear it from me… I heartily approve.
Now if only He would do something about Ilhan Omar. And Cory Bush. And Adam Schiff, Chuck Schumer, Joe Biden, Joy Behar, Joy Reid…
Hamas delenda est!
Martin Simpson 
Feces-Cisco isn’t bad, though I personally lean to San Franshithole.
LikeLike