I hope everybody in CO nation had a good Independence Day!
It was a very low-key one here; my wife and I walked to the nearby campus where they have fireworks on the 3rd. We were planning to drive to a nearby small town and see the fireworks there on the 4th, but after I spent a day on a carpentry project and my wife was feeling a little under the weather, we stayed in and watched the fireworks from NYC and DC on tv.
I also recorded a two-part bio of Reagan, because I’m nostalgic for the days when we had a solid, competent president. I’m going to watch that after I post this column, and remember better days.
I’ve always loved the Fourth, and after a lifetime of only seeing small town fireworks – which are just fine by me, generally – Karen and I talked about going up to DC to see next year’s fireworks on the Mall. If Trump wins in November, we’ve decided we’re going to be on the Mall a year from today, and check that item off our bucket list.
If Biden or his replacement wins, the idea of going to DC is a little too dispiriting to contemplate right now. But in the meantime, I’m finding humor where I can, which means that I’m enjoying the Democrat disarray while it lasts.
Just looking at random headlines must be horrifying – and deservedly so – for those knuckleheads. In the middle of a spate of stories of big blue city papers calling for Joey Gaffes to step down, I saw an editorial out of Atlanta saying that “it’s time for Biden to pass the torch.”
Really? Everybody knows that that guy couldn’t hold onto a torch, let alone pass it. Even if he could, would you want fire anywhere near him? He already walks like Frankenstein. Do you remember how Frankenstein reacted to torches and fire?
Even scarier? The White House on Wednesday declared that Que Mala Harris is “the future of the Democratic party.”
Yikes! Their present is the most decrepit guy from the most decrepit wing of the nursing home, and their future is cackling inanity. No bueno.
More hilarity comes from a different corner, in the form of new strategy from James Zogby, leftist brother of pollster John Zogby. If you haven’t heard of James, two facts about him will tell you all you need to know: he worked on Jesse Jackson’s campaigns for president in the 1980s, and commie fossil Bernie Sanders picked him to work on the Democratic Party’s platform in 2016
Now, after what sounds like a lifetime of bad political choices, James has sent a memo to DNC Chairman Jaime Harrison about how to potentially go about replacing Biden, and it’s a beautiful political Rube Goldberg scheme.
It would have Biden announcing that he’s not seeking re-election (good luck with that!) and then praising Que Mala but NOT naming her as his successor (seriously, good luck!) “This would kick off a one-month process, during which presidential hopefuls would vie for the support of the DNC’s voting members. Those participating would need the support of 40 voting members to become an official DNC candidate.”
In other words, he’s proposing to shove crack-head Hunter and non-Dr. Jill aside and pry Joe Biden’s cold, dead hands off the presidency, then knife the first non-white, non-male VP, and then retreat to a smoke-filled room from which party bosses would emerge with a candidate whom no voter had a hand in choosing.
Because: Democracy!
It would be just like Tammany Hall, only with pot smoke replacing the cigar smoke in the room where the nefarious deals were being made.
The kicker – which I could not make up, even with my fertile imagination – is that Zogby is pitching these corrupt, secretive machinations as follows: “The central idea is to create a process that is open, transparent, and energizing, while, at the same time, legitimate and democratic.”
Good lord! It’s amazing that Zogby’s pants aren’t as engulfed in flames as Biden would be if he tried to pass an actual torch to Que Mala!
Listen, James, you dopes had a ready-made “process that is open, transparent… legitimate and democratic.” [Engage Sam Kinison filter:] It’s called “a PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARY!! OH! OHHHH!! [End Kinison filter.] And rather than letting it play out in legitimate ways, you corruptly rigged it, for the third straight time!
When it looked like scary, radical great-great-grandpa Bernie might beat Cankles McPantsuit in 2016, the DNC rigged the outcome in her favor. Then in 2020, when Bernie once again looked capable of beating Biden (in a far-left great-great-grandpa face-off), you rigged it for Biden.
Thus we got the last four years of the Visiting Angels presidency. (They’re America’s choice in home care!)
And just a few months ago – because you figured that since you’ve gotten the MSM to go along with your hiding of Biden’s dementia since 2020, why not stick with it? – you rigged your own primary AGAIN! You wouldn’t allow any actual primary contest or debates, and you even set the rules so that any votes for RFK would not be counted.
And NOW, just because your emperor’s new clothes have been revealed as non-existent, you’d like to pull out an 11th-hour “legitimate, democratic” process?
Guess what, James? You all are as naked as Brandon is. And NOBODY wants to see that!
I, for one, stand with our Cadaver in Chief. He has the delegates, and thus the nomination, and I think he should cling to his office like grim death, if you’ll excuse the expression.
You hang in there, Joe Biden! You didn’t come this far – and live through a jail sentence with Nelson Mandela, and long nights on the road in your 18-wheeler, and a fierce battle with Corn Pop, not to mention your narrow escape from the ferocious cannibals who got ol’ uncle Appetizer – just to quit now!
With non-Dr. Jill behind you, and Hunter with his hand out, and Que Mala at your side, you’re just the guy to take on Orange Hitler! Don’t believe the polls, and don’t listen to John Zogby. Make your feckless party dance with the one who brung ‘em!
But don’t actually dance. For the love of God, don’t try to dance. In fact, just stay in the White House, take plenty of naps, and have Jill stop by right before Matlock, to tell you how well you’re doing.
Because you’re doing great, and you’re the candidate the Democrats deserve, so don’t you quit!
I’ll be back on Monday with several good news stories, including some analysis of the recent SCOTUS decisions that are causing wailing and gnashing of teeth in all the right lefty circles.
Hamas delenda est!
Martin Simpson 