I won’t bury the lede: Katie came home from the hospital yesterday! As I’m writing this in the middle of the night in Florida, she’s sleeping in her own bed in Denver for the first time in nearly a month.
And all is right with the world!
Speaking of which, in a secret ceremony yesterday Trump received his black belt in trolling, as the culmination of a week in which he crushed it at the Al Smith dinner, and then again as a temporary worker at a Pennsylvania McDonalds.
The dinner demonstrated (again!) the gulf between Trump and Kamala as politicians. Trump was at his roguishly charming best as he read his jokes skewering Walz and Harris, and playfully tweaked miserable Chuck Schumer for looking so glum. He even managed to pull off some self-deprecating humor by mocking himself for his fabled giant ego.
“Tradition holds that I’m supposed to tell a few self-deprecating jokes this evening. So here it goes…. Nope! I’ve got nothing. There’s nothing to say.”
Meanwhile, Kamala showed her usual unerring talent for self-destructive boneheadedness by skipping the dinner. But rather than just taking the “L,” she sent an uninspired and unfunny video that somehow made things worse.
First there was her delivery. (I’ve never seen such woodenness in my life. And I’ve been to the Black Forest.) Then there were her lines. (Utter pap.) Then there was the celebrity comedian she persuaded to help her get through the video: Molly Shannon.
Yes, THAT Molly Shannon!
The one who was intermittently mildly humorous as a mid-level Saturday Night Live cast member. 23 YEARS AGO!
A few days after the dinner, Trump did his stint as an honorary McDonalds worker. And you can tell how well that went for him just by listening to the empty heads throughout the MSM losing their Schiff over it.
One after another, they whined about how stupid and pointless and offensive it was. I saw a series of clips featuring outraged hacks from all the alphabet networks making the same hysterical objection: Trump’s entire McDonald’s visit was phony, and nothing more than a political stunt!
What? You mean a billionaire former and future leader of the free world in his late 70s hasn’t actually taken up a lucrative second career as a fast-food worker?! The hell you say!
But they’ve got a point, because there’s a slim possibility that Trump may just have made his visit to McDonalds as a political photo op.
Unlike that time when Brigadier General Dukakis was caught leading his armored division around the training grounds in Michigan. (It’s not called a “battleground state” for nothing.) Or when Bill Clinton just happened to jog into a fast-food joint and grab a big Mac (and the closest waitress’ behind) for the cameras. Or when Que Mala and nanny-banger Doug stopped in at a convenience store to pic up a bag of Doritos.
Or when Tampon Timmy Walz was surprised to find a gaggle of press weasels who somehow coincidentally turned up in the same field where he was hunting pheasants.
Luckily for said pheasants, Walz is not so great with the weapons of war that he didn’t carry when he didn’t go into war, so none of them were felled by the Great Beige Hunter that day.
By the way, I think I speak for the entire pheasant-American community when I say that I’d rather be a pheasant directly in front of a shotgun-wielding Tim Walz than one of Tim Walz’s feet in his brand-new pair of unbroken-in waterproof LL Bean boots with the tag still on them.
Because that guy has got “accidental-self-foot-shooter-off-er” written ALL over him.
The only thing funnier than watching Walz struggle to load that shotgun was watching a couple of leftist bubble-dwellers on MSNBC gushing over the new Harris-Walz merch: a hunting cap! You could tell that they’d never met an actual hunter in their lives from the way they talked about hunting as if it were an exotic behavior of an obscure, just-discovered tribe from a remote island somewhere.
“This stylish hat is in blaze orange, which is apparently a color that hunters wear when they go about their mysterious ritual outings. And we feel quite sure that putting “Harris/Walz” on this cap will greatly increase its desirability among so many deplorably toxic males who inexplicably like sports and women who were assigned female at birth and yet still identify as women, with the hips and the breasts and the off-putting lack of a prominent Adam’s apple.”
And we wonder why they’re not connecting with male voters!
Speaking of self-destructive behavior, how about that Yahoo Sinwar and his ignominious death at the hands of the IDF last week? I love everything about the way he was brought to justice.
I love that he died trapped and helpless, without the comfort of his goat girlfriend. I love that he was killed by three anonymous grunts who had only been in the IDF for a short time, before they happened across his path.
I love that after those guys blasted the house he was scurrying through and injured him, they used a drone to fly into the damaged building to get the last video of him before they finished him off.
And while I would have liked to see the IDF find and kill him immediately after October 7th, there’s some comfort in knowing that he spent the last year of his life hunted and increasingly desperate, living underground like a hateful, miserable little mole. He got to see his entire army of Hamas terrorists getting skillfully taken out by the hated Jews, some in pitched firefights, but many in small groups, or even one at a time.
He got to watch Gaza subdivided and strategically searched and pulverized, his weapons stashes and fighter bases systematically discovered and destroyed, his miles of underground tunnels either flooded or blown up. He cowered helplessly as everyone in the chain of command below him was killed or captured, and many of their hostages rescued. He had to watch his evil allies in Hezbollah out-thought and out-fought, blown up by their own cell phones, then pagers, then radios.
He had to witness his entire life’s work thoroughly destroyed, knowing that there were no worthy successors to take his place. All of his arrogant plans had been based on the mistaken belief that the Jews would never dare to fight door-to-door in heavily fortified Gaza, that they’d never be able to withstand political pressure from the anti-Semitic idiots in the UN and the garden-variety idiots in the Biden administration.
And in the end, he had to face his death with the taste of dust and ashes in his mouth, already badly wounded, slumped in a ruined living room chair, watching his enemy’s high-tech drone hovering nearby, recording his pitiful state to show to the world. Even if he’d had a gun, or an unwounded hand to hold it in, he would still have been powerless to hurt the Jews who were controlling that drone.
But he didn’t have a gun, or an uninjured gun arm. All he had left was a skinny piece of wood, and all he could do was make a pathetic, impotent attempt to throw it at the drone.
He missed. And then he watched the drone float backwards and away, leaving him alone in a filthy, crippled house, knowing that in a few seconds his miserable life would come to a violent, painful end at the hands of his hated enemies.
As it should be.
Meanwhile, here at home it’s worth remembering that the IDF’s incredible string of successes has been achieved because they have resolutely ignored the advice, bullying and threats from Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.
Biden/Harris told them not to risk civilian deaths in Gaza, and not to invade Gaza, and not to strike Hezbollah, because those would all only escalate the war. They told the Jews to negotiate a cease fire that would have left Hamas and Hezbollah in power and stronger than ever.
Who can forget Que Mala, lecturing the Jews that they shouldn’t go into Rafah? She warned that such an invasion would lead to disaster, because she’d “looked at the maps.”
By the way, it turns out that the demolished building that became the final resting place for Sinwar and his two bodyguards is located in… wait for it… Rafah!
UNEXPECTEDLY!
Hamas delenda est!
Martin Simpson 