I voted yesterday at a local library/polling place. I already knew who I’d be voting for, of course. But since I’d been out of town and pre-occupied with more important things lately – Katie’s doing great at home, thanks for asking! – I wasn’t up on all of the local ballot issues, judge retentions and the like.
Fortunately for me, local Democrats dropped off a handy flyer telling me how to vote on every issue. I read their reasoning and their conclusions, then took their flyer into the voting booth and “pulled a George Costanza,” i.e. voted the opposite of every suggestion they made.
Success!
There are so many bad signs for Kamala’s campaign right now, and that’s giving me a great deal of comfort. (As well as entertainment!)
My greatest fear a month ago was that if Trump didn’t debate her again, the corrupt MSM would continue to cover for her, and allow her to hide for the last 6 weeks of the campaign, and thus sneak into the WH without revealing her bone-deep vacuity.
But her internal polling must have shown so many problems for her campaign that they figured they had to put her out there for some interviews. And THAT decision has to rank among the all-time terrible strategic decisions in world history.
As bad as Napoleon invading Russia with winter coming on. Or Hitler invading Russia with winter coming on. Or the leaders of Hamas and Hezbollah deciding to launch a sneak attack aimed at slaughtering hundreds of Jewish civilians. (“Hey, what are the Juden going to do about it? We’ve got our UN-funded tunnel network and missiles, plus the fecklessness of Joe Biden. It’s not like the Jews will be able to strike ba– Hold on, my pager is beeping. I’ve got to take this.”)
Allowing Que Mala to sit for interviews turned into a death spiral. When she screwed up the first several shots with friendly hack interviewers, she had to do a few more, just to get the taste of the first ones out of the viewers’ mouths. And after a couple more similarly flubbed ones, she had to go onto 60 Minutes, because their reputation is (undeservedly) better than the “Call Her Daddy” slutcast, and she knew that CBS would still do some friendly editing to cover up her worst moments.
But then the “60 Minutes deceptive editing” scandal blew up, and her polls dipped a bit more, and she got a little more desperate, and agreed to go on with Bret Baier. She figured she’d get some street cred for facing down the bullies at Fox, and she prepared a bunch of attack shots on Trump to use as sound bites later. Just for insurance, she showed up late and had her staffers ready to call the end early, and in between she’d be able to filibuster her way through. (“If I just repeat, ‘May I finish?’ several dozen times, that will take half of the interview time.”)
Annndddd… she staggered out of that one looking like Wile E. Coyote after the Acme bomb blew up in his face. Her hair was sticking straight backwards, her face covered with soot, and her pantsuit scorched and half burned off.
And now it’s Hail Mary time.
Which has to be especially awkward for a campaign that is struggling mightily with Christians: “Oh, you think God created humans, ‘male and female created He them?’ And you believe that ‘while you were yet in the womb, He knew you?’ And one of your sacraments is to partake of the body and blood of your Savior? Well have a Dorito, dumbass.”
Also, when some protestors identified themselves as Christians, she told them, “You’re at the wrong rally.”
(Finally, she says something true!)
But, uncomfortable or not, it’s time for her to swing for the fences, and start giving out interviews like Doug Emhoff giving out backhands to his dates.
Thus I open my browser each morning lately, and I can’t tell one “Disastrous Harris Interview Gaffe” story from the next.
She does an interview with her new endorser Liz Cheney – whom 99% of Americans either distrusts or hates – and when asked to tell three things about herself that most people don’t know, she recites a list of things that EVERYBODY knows. (“I’m a lawyer, I’m a mother, I was a prosecutor…”) D’oh!
That doomed outing with Cheney was a “town hall” – which everybody knows is supposed to be an event in which you answer actual questions from the audience. And then the host admitted that all of the questions had been pre-determined.
In other words, this “town hall” is going to be missing the “town” part. D’oh!
She goes on Telemundo and admits that she wants to legalize all of the millions of illegals in the country. I’d love to have seen the reaction of her Head-of-Hispanic-Outreach at that moment. “Que?! Dios mio! Como es tan estupida?!”
And it’s not just Que Mala blasting away at her own feet! It seems like every surrogate for her is competing for the chance to step on the most rakes.
Wicked Witch Whitmer does an obscene parody of handing out communion. Bill Clinton says that Harris is, “extremely vulnerable” and points out that Laken Riley is dead because her illegal murderer whom Biden/Harris let in was not vetted.
A gaggle of beta-male celebrities try to reach out to normie males by gushing over how they are all “girl dads” and think Harris is just fabulous. One of them even says that his two-year-old daughter is a feminist and “already smarter than any men in the room.”
Okay, Jan.
Small, petty hypocrite Barack Obama wags his finger at black men and lectures them that not voting for Kamala is “not acceptable.” Because men – of all races – love nothing more than being told what they must do by a half-white guy and his outside-linebacker wife.
The late Joe Biden is regularly giving speeches in which he ties Kamala to every horrific decision made during his dumpster-fire administration. Just yesterday he also drove home the point that Trump is a dangerous fascist who would jail his opponents by shouting that the Democrats, “Should lock him [Trump] up!”
D’oh!
Even her weirdo running mate is doing her no favors. At a rally on Tuesday, he attacked Elon Musk, saying, “I’m going to get that wascally wabbit, as soon as I can get this shotgun loaded!”
Sorry, that’s the wrong quote from the wrong Elmer Fudd. What A-WOLz actually said was, “Elon’s on that stage, jumping around, skipping like a dipsh*t.”
I’m not making that up. Those are the words of the oddball whose bizarre gesticulating can be found in the dictionary beside two words: “knucklehead” and “skipping dipsh*t.”
That’s the guy who’s making fun of Elon Musk! Musk just sent a rocket into space, and then brought it back down and FREAKING CAUGHT IT! Meanwhile, Tim Walz was ALMOST able to load a shotgun.
And then, not only was he NOT able to catch a single pheasant that he shot down… he wasn’t even able to shoot down a single pheasant. This despite the fact that he was holding a gun made for shooting birds, in a field surrounded by flying birds, none of whom were covered by shotgun-pellet-resistant Kevlar feathers.
Am I saying that the FCC should force the networks – anytime they show video of Harris and Walz – to display the chyron, “Dueling Dipsh*ts”?
I’m saying that we should have that conversation.
So Kamala’s flailing, her surrogates are flailing, her boss is flailing, and her running-mate is flailing.
And now I can’t leave the house because I’ve got a schadenfreude-induced reaction that is threatening to last more than four hours. At the polling place, I kept getting eyed by female voters – and a few male ones – until I had to say, “My eyes are up here, people! Pay attention to your ballot.”
Perhaps I’ve said too much.
Meanwhile, Trump seems to have swapped out the “Bad Trump” for the “Good Trump” when he needed to do it most. He’s been relaxed and even joyful at rallies. He’s gotten RFK Jr. and Elon Musk on board, and Tulsi Gabbard just officially joined the Republican party. And his McDonald’s appearance was a masterstroke, entertaining his supporters and bringing out the worst in his opponents.
One of Gutfeld’s guests ran through some of the memes that Trump’s McDonald’s visit has given birth to, and they’re pretty great:
“Trump is the one who will finally fix the McDonald’s ice cream machine!”
“You know that that McDonalds was one of the new ones with the flat roofs, because the slightly sloped roofs on the old-style ones would completely defeat the secret service’s ability to protect him.”
“Have you heard that Kamala’s going to try to recreate Trump’s magic at McDonald’s? She’s trying to decide now whether she should do a stint at Five Guys, or maybe In-N-Out.” (Subtle Willie Brown joke for the win!)
So what do the Dems have left? There were rumblings for a few days about a big “October Surprise” that the Dems were going to launch against Trump. And then on Wednesday, Kamala came out to a podium to launch the devastating, Trump-destroying wonder weapon: He’s a Hitlerian, Hitler-loving fan of Adolf Hitler!
And off in the distance, the plaintive moan of the saddest of all sad trombones was heard, pathetically bleating like a slowly deflating balloon.
Man, they can’t even do an October surprise right!
Well, give them some credit, because this is October. So check that box. However, you may have noticed that the second element of an October surprise… is “surprise.”
And do you know what is NOT a surprise? (Hold on while I fire up the Sam Kinison filter here…) SOMETHING THAT THEY’VE BEEN SAYING EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR NINE FREAKING YEARS! OH! OHHHHHH!
Great googly moogly! Maybe we should counter with an October surprise of our own. I have a few suggestions:
Did you know that Kamala is… not a deep thinker?!
Or… fellated her way onto the first rung of the political ladder?!
Or… can’t put together a coherent English sentence?!
All right, everybody. We’ve got 11 days left. If you haven’t voted yet, go vote. If you know someone who hasn’t voted yet – and is likely to vote the right way (!) – offer to drive them to the polls. Let’s not take anything for granted.
As for me, while I’m still cautious, I’m feeling more optimistic every day.
Have a great weekend!
Hamas delenda est!
Martin Simpson 