November 2024 – Page 2 – Martin Simpson

Some Mockery, Followed by Election Predictions (posted 11/4/24)

At the end of this column, I’m going to provide – probably foolishly – my predictions for the election. But first, it’s been several days since my last column, so there are many stories deserving mockery:

Immediately prior to this weekend, Joe Biden damaged the Harris/Walz ticket twice. He deflated Kamala’s hysterical prediction that Trump will one day put his enemies in jail by saying that “we should lock [Trump] up!” and he defanged the no-name comedian’s “Puerto Ricans are garbage” gaffe by calling half the country “garbage.”

The story was that Que Mala’s campaign had demanded that he not speak in public until after the election. So I love to picture their consternation when an intern ran into the war room shouting, “Biden has put a foot in his mouth again!”

Biden Hack 1: Oh no, what did he say this time?

Intern: What? No. He didn’t put HIS foot in his mouth. He put a baby’s foot in his mouth, at a Halloween party at the White House.

Hack 1: Gross! But… (looking around at the other flunkies who have sold their souls to Satan)… that’s better, isn’t it? I mean, he didn’t say anything to screw us, right?

Hack 2: I guess. Chewing on babies’ feet is crazy, but everyone knows he’s crazy by now. I think we dodged that bullet.

Hack 1: Whew! Okay, let’s get back to our plans to cheat and steal the vote in battleground states.

Three…hours…lay-tair…

Intern (breathlessly bursting through the door): Biden escaped the White House—

Hack 1: What? How? Tell me he didn’t eat a baby!

Intern (shaking his head and catching his breath): No. He somehow snuck onto a plane to Philly.

Hack 1: Not Pennsylvania! (looking around the table) Who was supposed to be watching him?

Hack 3 (looking at his shoes): Hunter.

Hack 1: Are you Schiffing me? You’re fired! (Hack 3 sadly stands, picks up his notepad and Vape pen and shuffles toward the door.) Is it too late to divert the flight? Possibly to Greenland?

Intern: No, he landed 40 minutes ago.

Hacks 1-13 (minus #3): F**k! S**t!!!

Intern: Secret Service scrambled, and had a car waiting for him on the runway. But he walked right past it and wandered away.

Hack 2: Please god, tell me he walked into a spinning propeller!

Hack 4: Or he stumbled out onto an active runway and a landing jet smashed him!

Intern: No. Secret Service chased him down and got him into the car. Then they took him to a press conference.

Hack 1: What?! No!! We said no talking!

Hack 2: What did he say?

Intern: Well, he talked about back when he was in Scranton.

Hack 4: Oh god.

Intern: And then he said… that… he wanted to smack Trump in the ass.

Hack (dropping his head onto the table): F***! No!

Hack 2 (putting a hand on Hack 1’s shoulder): Wait a minute, hang on. What did he say, exactly?

Hack 4: That might not be so bad, right? All of our voters hate Trump so much, they might not even mind.

Intern: Well, his exact words were, “These are the kind of guys you like to smack in the ass!” Unquote.

Hack 1 (head still on the table): Great. He said it about Trump AND his voters. (Everyone around the table moans.) How are we going to spin this?

A long, painful silence hangs in the air. Finally, Hack 12 – from the far end of the table – says, “Maybe we could say there was an apostrophe in the sentence?”

Hack 1 (head still on the table): You’re fired. Get out. (Hack 12 picks up his vape pen and his crack pipe, and slowly exits.)

Hack 8: Let’s just think about this for a minute. He didn’t say he wants to KICK his ass, right?

Intern (shaking his head): He said, “smack.”

Hack 8: Good. Kicking your ass is violent. But “smacking” your ass is…

Hack 6: Sexual assault? We’re trying to get male votes, and Flat Line says he wants to smack the asses of half the country! How’s that going to play in Peoria?

Hack 5: I wish it was AOC’s ass we were talking about. That might get us a few male votes!

Hack 1 (lifting his head and slumping back into his chair): Why would he be babbling about smacking AOC’s ass? She’s on our side.

Hack 5 (defensively): Well, she’s got a juicy booty, right? (All of the other hacks stare at him balefully, and he holds his hands up, palms out.) Hey, her words, not mine!

Hack 1: But it wasn’t about AOC, was it? It was about Trump and/or his supporters. So where does that leave us?

Hack 2: I only see two options.

Hack 1 (looking at him for a moment, then sighing deeply, defeated): Okay. Raise your hand if you think we should say that the President’s comment was encouraging violence? (Everybody looks at each other. A few hands tentatively go up.)

Hack 1: Okay, now raise your hand if you think we should say that his comment was just meant to be homo-erotic?

And, scene.

Meanwhile, Kamala diverted from a flight to Detroit on Saturday so that she could go to NYC and appear in the cold open of Saturday Night Live. (On the bright side, the poor Detroit residents have suffered enough, and at least they were spared a Kamala speech!) Because if there’s one thing she’s known for, it’s her deft comic touch.

Annnnnnddddd… Yikes! That was one of the most awkward things I’ve ever seen in my life.

And I’ve seen Grandma Squanto trying to drink a beer like a normal person, and Tim Walz trying to load a shotgun, and Donald Trump inviting several of Bill Clinton’s groping victims to his debate with Hillary, where Bill Clinton sat in the front row, sweating like a Que Mala in church.

To top it all off, it turns out that the skit she did – she sat on one side of a “mirror” and talked to Kamala-imitator Maya Rudolph, as if she were having a dialogue with herself – had actually been done before.

In 2015.

By Donald Trump, talking to Jimmy Fallon, who was made up to look like Trump.

You can’t make this stuff up. Kamala has been criticized for stealing Trump’s policy ideas, such as his “no tax on tips” proposal and his advocacy for a border wall. So then she goes on SNL and… rips off the same skit he did 9 years ago! And, as it happens, he was much funnier.

Unexpectedly!

Okay, I am reckless enough that I am going to make a few election predictions. And that’s despite the fact that I did so before the 2022 elections, and was wildly optimistic, and wildly wrong.

I thought that after the first two horrific years of the Biden administration, there would be a red wave, and I predicted something like 53/54 GOP Senate seats and a gain of around 34 House seats. Instead, the Dems held the Senate, and we only picked up a handful of House seats, and then only because there were mini red waves in FL and NY.

So I have a lousy track record at this. But I’m not letting that stop me from trying again.

This time my gut tells me that Trump is going to win, but the polls make little sense to me, as they’re suggesting a lot of contradictory and counter-intuitive outcomes.

First, the “top line” of the polls – suggesting that every battle ground state is practically tied, as is the national popular vote – makes no sense in terms of those same polls’ cross-tabs. How can Trump be way ahead of past races with blacks, Latinos, Jews, young people etc. – not ahead in terms of getting a majority, but ahead of the usual amount by which GOP candidates trail with those groups – and yet be tied overall?

Second, how can Trump seem to have so much momentum, and yet not be breaking away numerically?

Even leftist Trump haters are admitting – through clenched teeth – that his McDonald’s and garbage man stunts have been wildly effective. His appearance with Joe Rogan has gotten 40 million views and rave reviews. And his surrogates – JD, RFK Jr., Elon, Tulsi – have been hitting one home run after another for the last several weeks.

Conversely, the large voter group of the PWFEs (People With Functioning Eyes) have seen Kamala doing terribly in every interview and speech. Reliable leftist unions and newspapers that always endorse Dems have not endorsed her. And her surrogates have been as bad as Trump’s have been good.

Joe Biden and Bill Clinton are stomping on her every talking point. Walz is a skipping dipsh*t nightmare. Mark Cuban is insulting all of the female Trump voters, and Barack and Michelle are insulting all the male ones.

3. CO has been posting the betting odds, which my gut tells me are more reliable than most polling, since you know the people putting money on the line are at least honestly indicating what they expect to happen, as opposed to pollsters who are very often partisan and have skin in the game, either transparently or covertly. And those show a 61/39 expectation of a Trump win.

4. Even more important, to me, is to watch what the various campaigns do, as opposed to what they say. For example, when Kamala took ad money out of NC late last week to spend it elsewhere, that told me that her people believe that NC is a lost cause for them. (That doesn’t mean they’re right, but it’s at least an honest indicator of what they really think – a super rare thing from any Democrat campaign!)

In that vein, I think a couple of huge indicators have not been talked about enough: in the last several weeks, Democrat Senate candidates in four important states – Baldwin in WI, Casey in PA, Slotkin in MI and Sherrod Brown in OH – have put out their own ads distancing themselves from Biden/Harris and touting agreements with Trump.

In OH that makes sense, because it’s now a red state that Trump will win, but in WI, MI and PA? Those are supposed to be razor’s edge states, and yet high-profile Dem senators are going to knife their own party to snuggle up to Trump? And no other prominent Dems are trashing them over that?

That suggests that their own polling is showing that Harris will likely lose in their states, and they don’t want to be sucked down in her under-tow. (Yes, okay, insert your own Willie Brown joke here.)

Finally, there is good and bad news on the “Democrat cheating” front. The bad news is that they’re still trying to cheat as much as they did before, with documented dirty tricks (and at least limited success) in GA, PA and other battleground states. The good news is that the GOP has worked harder to counter that this time around, and has responded quickly and pushed back. But there’s still a lot to worry about on that front.

Having said all that, here are my best guesses:

President: If pollsters are still generally underestimating Trump’s vote by even half as much as they did in 2016 and 2020 (i.e. from 3-5 points nationwide, and averaging around 2-4 in the battlegrounds), his narrow leads and/or ties in the battlegrounds could easily turn into a sweep that gets him around 325-330 in the electoral college.

That’s my best-case scenario. Right now the RCP averages, with no toss-up states, gives him around 287, which is (please, please God!) my worst-case scenario. I’m just praying that he wins the electoral college by enough votes that Dem cheating or legal challenges in any one state won’t be able to reverse the result!

Senate: I don’t see how we don’t at least take the Senate with 51 seats, given that WV and Montana both seem to be nearly certain pickups. But if my sweep scenario above happens, Trump could have coat-tails that might pull narrow Senate underdogs in WI, MI, PA and OH across the finish line, for a total of 55 GOP Senate seats in my best-case scenario.

House: No idea. RCP averages show 42 seats as “in play,” with the GOP currently holding 201 to the Dems’ 192 seats. Their generic House preference is now 0.4% for the GOP, so if the GOP gets slightly more than half of those 42 seats, they’d have around 223ish seats to the Dems’ 212. My best-case scenario in the event of a GOP good night might add a half-dozen seats to the GOP total.

Okay, those are my guesses. (And, let’s be honest, my prayers!) Maybe you all could add your predictions to the comments?

If you haven’t already voted, please get out and vote on Tuesday! A Trump win is essential, but winning by a large margin – and maybe even winning the popular vote – would greatly strengthen his ability to get a lot done in the next two years.

Hamas – and Harris/Walz – delenda est!

Kamala’s Wheels Come Off, & Israel Continues On Its Roll (posted 11/1/24)

Could Bill Clinton be collaborating with Joe Biden to sink Kamala’s campaign?

First there was his incredibly damaging statement a few weeks ago that Laken Riley would still be alive if her illegal alien murderer had been vetted and kept out of the country, which was greeted by an echoing cry of, “WTF?!!” from Kamala HQ.

And this week he goes to Michigan, just a day after Kamala almost sliced herself to ribbons by grabbing a sharp rod during a factory tour. (“Can I touch that rod? Can I TOUCH that ROD? CAN I TOUCH THAT ROD?!”) (And yes, the Willie Brown jokes are basically writing themselves at this point.)

This time the old horn-dog said, “I don’t think it’s right to say that people have to vote for Donald Trump because the economy was better then.” And the partisan crowd moaned. Meanwhile, whoever is running Kamala’s campaign sent an urgent text to ol’ Handsy McGroperton: “Stop helping, Bill!”

Also could there be a funnier headline than, “Biden Bites Several Babies at WH Halloween Party?” I mean sure, he’s probably just gumming them, which is repulsive enough. But man o’Manischewitz, if Trump wins this thing it will have been the best campaign ever!

Just think of the sound bites that should live in infamy: “Your supporters are garbage!” “They’re eating the dogs; they’re eating the cats!” “Biden is biting babies!” Oh, the humanity!

Meanwhile, in another story that should be devastating to Kamala’s campaign if it were only getting wider airplay, it turns out that a huge majority of the scumbags who were caught looting in the aftermath of the last two hurricanes in Florida were… wait for it… alleged salt-of-the-earth immigrants!

Unexpectedly!

And by “immigrants” I mean “Biden/Harris-enabled ILLEGAL immigrants.” The NY Post has the story – and the stats – from the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office: of the 45 looters rounded up on various robbery charges, 41 were illegals. 41 out of 45!

Another stat, which I’m unpleasantly surprised by, is that of another 196 people who “were caught in the area under suspicious circumstances and questioned by deputies but had to be released due to lack of probable cause,” 163 were illegals.

The disappointing part is that even in the free state of Florida, we’re still not detaining illegals just because they broke our laws to get here. Even if there was insufficient probable cause to hold them for their looter-adjacent behavior, if they’re here illegally, they should still be deported!

Am I saying that all illegals found here, especially if they’ve committed additional crimes, should be summarily kicked out, possibly with the trigger finger on their right hands clipped off so that we can recognize them if they ever try to sneak back in again?

I’m not necessarily saying that last part for sure. But – say it with me, Que Mala – I think we should have that conversation!

Okay, on to my long-delayed take on the latest out of Israel, which has been mostly a cavalcade of good news.

In one area after another, the IDF has been making terrorists dead, and forcing their twitchy, involuntarily incontinent surviving comrades to run and hide, thus protecting the chastity of the region’s many herds of long-suffering goats.

(“Bleat” means “bleat,” Achmed! Which is goat-talk for, “No means no!”)

(This message provided by RASA – Ruminants Against Sexual Assault™ — a 501(c)(3) organization. Please give generously.)

I’ll get to some of the best missile/drone strikes in a minute, but first I must give kudos to an unusual attack on Hezbollah’s ability to finance their various Jew-killing endeavors.

Since Western nations have been sanctioning Hezbollah’s more traditional assets (international bank accounts, etc.), they’ve been forced to keep a bunch of their ill-gotten gains in the form of paper money and gold, stashed throughout the territories they control.

On October 20th, IDF missiles destroyed one underground vault containing millions of dollars. Then they cleverly announced that there is another such vault under the Al Sahel Hospital in Beirut which contains “as much as half a billion dollars in cash and gold.” Their spokesman pointed out that, “This money could and still can be used to rebuild the state of Lebanon.”

That is a brilliant move for several reasons:

1. It freaks out the terrorists by providing more evidence of just how much the Israelis know about them and their every move.

2. It incentivizes everyday Lebanese to both be pissed at Hezbollah, and possibly to stage a raid to steal that fortune back. And if nobody is writing a screenplay for a heist movie – call it some Islamic variation on “Ocean’s 11” – they’re leaving money on the table. (I picture someone dressed in a sexy goat suit providing a honey-trap distraction to lure several Hezbollah fighters away from the hospital entrance they’re guarding. Ooh, and a high-speed donkey-cart chase through the rubble-clogged streets of Beirut, possibly accompanied by the “Mission Impossible” theme song, if the producers can afford copyright!)

3. It also incentivizes nervous Hezbollah creeps to possibly try to move the treasure, which would make them vulnerable to raids from other Lebanese on the road – another screenplay possibility! – and to spying Israeli drones which could follow and learn the new location it gets sent to, and also possibly to blow up that location as soon as the stolen money arrives.

But the wily Hebrews weren’t just playin 4-D chess with their heist-movie shenanigans; they’ve also continued to go all “Death from the Skies!” on the smelly terrorists with missiles and drone strikes.

They had already dropped a building on Nasrallah’s successor Hashem Safieddine a few weeks after he got the top job, while simultaneously taking out 24 other top Hezbollah villains, including the head of Hezbollah’s “intelligence” branch (oxymoron alert!), Ali Hussein Hazima.

Then, last Wednesday, Israel took out Mohamad Abu Itiwi with a missile strike. Itiwi had a demon’s resume: commander of Hamas’ “elite” Nukhba force; personally responsible for “contributing to the deaths of a least 370 victims” during the cowardly 10/7 attack; led the infamous “bomb shelter slaughter,” during which his men tossed hand-grenades into a shelter filled mostly with women and children.

Most shamefully of all, he was also an employee of the United Nations, specifically their “Relief and Works Agency” for “Palestinian” “refugees” (UNRWA), which is just one of many corrupt UN groups through which our tax dollars have flowed to help the jihadis in Hamas. (Until, in Itiwi’s case, October 23rd, when the IDF made the world a better place by giving him a ballistic enema.)

Itiwi served one good purpose, which was to give Israel one more reason to officially kick UNRWA out of the country this week. Of course that set off a round of wailing and gnashing of teeth from the “Peace Through Appeasement” crowd, thus proving Israel’s decision correct.

But wait, there’s more!

The IDF has released video of many of their targeted strikes on Hezbollah strongholds throughout southern Lebanon. (Which I enjoy watching with headphones on and “Enter Sandman” blasting. Sleep with one eye open, jihadis!)

The most dramatic one shows a massive Hezbollah underground compound which stretched across two small hillsides and a valley between them. When the munitions hit, at least 8 different spots explode upward, with geysers of debris and plumes of smoke rising from the valley and both hillsides.

Of course the biggest story of the last week was Israel’s air attack on Iran, in retaliation for the 180 missiles Iran fired at Israel at the beginning of the month. Most of Iran’s missiles were shot down, and they collectively did very little damage to Israel, but that was not the case when Israel hit back.

They used 100 fighter jets to carry out three waves of attacks, focusing at first on Iran’s air defenses, and then on 20 missile and drone facilities. I had hoped that they’d target Iran’s nuclear enrichment locations, but by taking out Iran’s air defense, Israel has left that step as an option for future strikes, should Iran not have learned the FAFO lesson that the IDF just gave them.

By the way, leave it to the Jews to come up with a very cool Old Testament reference as a code name for their multi-wave air attack: “Days of Repentance.” (That’s not as sweet as “Operation Grim Beeper.” But I think that one was made up.)

They also got an added bonus from their attack, in the form of giving the Russians a black eye. Hezbollah had bought and installed four Russian-made S-300 air defense systems. Israel took one of them out in a retaliation raid on Iran this summer, and they took out the remaining three last week.

After that raid, reports are coming out of Lebanon that many Hezbollah fighters are defecting or fleeing to Syria, which only makes sense. Most of their chain of command are either dead or mangled, they can’t communicate because of the fear of groin-shredding communication devices, and their money stashes are getting blown up.

One typical morale-draining story happened last weekend. The Hezbo commander of the Bint Jbeil Area (which I thought was on the planet Klingon, but apparently not) – Jafar Maatouk (I loved him in the Lion King!) – underwent SOMD (sudden-onset molecular disassembly) when an IAF missile hit him.

The next day the new commander and his head of artillery – no names are given in the report, but I’m assuming they’re Curly and Moe – met the same fate.

So far no one has stepped up to become the new Grand Poobah of Bint Jbeil.

Unexpectedly!

Speaking of which, Hezbollah just announced who drew the short straw, and is now the new leader of their group. He’s named Naim Qassem, and in every video clip I’ve seen of him, he looks really nervous. (My Arabic is a little rusty, but unless I’ve missed my guess, “Naim” means “not” and “Qassem” means “for long.”)

I swear that I wrote that last joke when I first drafted this column a few days ago.

But great minds must think alike, because the guy in charge of the IDF gave a press conference in which he put up a picture of Qassem with the caption: “Temporary Appointment. Not for Long.”

Yes! Don’t buy any green bananas, Naim.

Have a good weekend everybody.

Hamas delenda est!

Four Things That Are Making Me Laugh Today (posted 10/31/24)

1. The Washington Post’s schadenfreude-tastic self-destruction. The paper’s value has been on a long skid downward, and since Bezos bought it, it’s lost tens of millions of dollars per year. So Bezos prevented the leftist lunatics in the WAPO newsroom from endorsing Que Mala, and the spoiled kiddies threw a temper tantrum.

In response, Bezos wrote an Op-Ed containing actual common sense: “The hard truth [is that] Americans don’t trust the news media,” and, since “endorsements create a perception of bias… ending them is… the right [decision].” (Of course he’s still a bubble-dwelling lefty: he warned that if the MSM completely collapses, people will continue turning to unvetted, irresponsible, misinformation-prone conservative podcasts and websites…such as the ones who DIDN’T fall for Russia-gate, laptop-gate, mask-gate, vax-gate, etc. and etc.)

And then the kids in the newsroom flopped on the floor, kicking their tiny feet and holding their breath. And mirabile dictu, so did a ton of the WAPO’s propaganda-dependent subscribers; 200,000 of them canceled their subscriptions, cheered on by many celebrities and other high-profile dullards.

So if the WAPO keeps shoveling out their steady stream of dishonest pap, they will continue their doom spiral downward into a Biden-esque, flatlined state, until the plug is mercifully pulled, once Bezos will no longer throw good money after bad. OR, they can try to go cold turkey and start printing true journalism… and get there much more quickly, as all of their dead-end readers flee.

Beautiful!

Even though Bezos is actually trying to do the right thing, he and the MSM are now reaping what they’ve been sowing for years. It’s a blue-on-blue circular firing squad, and I’m not sure my supply of popcorn is going to hold out.

2. Kamala crammed an awful lot of self-contradictions into her big speech on Tuesday night:

“This election is about the future,” followed by, “But January 6th, though!”

“It’s time to turn the page,” followed by, “I can’t think of any changes to make from my time with Biden!”

“We must stop pointing fingers and come together,” followed by, “But Trump is a tyrant! Everybody point your finger at him and yell, ‘Tyrant!’”

(You’ve heard of the “Thrilla in Manilla?” This speech should’ve been called, “Back-flips on the Ellipse.”)

But my favorite part came literally seconds into the speech. After months of insisting that crime is way, WAY down, she begins her speech. But she is immediately drowned out by cascading sirens, presumably from cop cars chasing criminals and ambulances racing crime victims to area hospitals.

The only way that audio backdrop could have been improved upon? Gunshots and despairing screams of, “Oh God, why are all these horrific crimes happening even though we’ve elected only Democrats in DC for the last century?!”

(And then, from a lonely CO Nation member on the edge of the crowd, “Unexpectedly!”)

3. The GOP’s trolling of the Dems over garbage-gate has been a thing of beauty. Trump arriving in Green Bay in the garbage truck, then giving a speech in his fluorescent garbageman vest? Chef’s kiss!

But for my money, Tom Cotton – one of my favorite senators – won the internet by posting two side-by-side pics, one of Trump doing the fries at McDonald’s and the other of him in the garbage truck. His caption? “The Biden-Harris economy is so bad that seniors have to work two jobs just to make ends meet.” Bold move, Cotton!

4. Joe Biden’s covert strategy of “Project: Undermine the Cackler”

Kamala: DeSantis won’t take my calls, and he’s badly mishandling this hurricane!

Three… minutes… lay-tair… Biden: I just spoke to DeSantis, and he’s doing a great job!

Kamala: Trump is an evil fascist because he MIGHT jail his opponents in the future!

Three… minutes… lay-tair… Biden: We’ve got to lock him up!

Kamala: A no-name comedian at MSG compared Puerto Ricans to garbage. That’s Hitler talk!

Three… minutes… lay-tair… Biden: All Trump voters are garbage!

Man, that garbage story is – ironically – the gift that keeps on giving! I’ve loved watching the MSM twisting in the wind over it.

They first gave us a raft of good “Republicans Pounce” headlines (i.e., whenever a story is truly bad for the left, the MSM focuses not on the bad facts, but on the GOP reaction to those facts…which is always unfair and sleazy, according to the MSM).

Time’s headline said, “WH attempts clean-up after Biden appears to call Trump Supporters ‘garbage’.” So I guess now “Appears” = “you watched him say that.” Politico and others referred to “outrage” and “a firestorm” on the right, always moving the focus from the dehumanizing comments to the right’s reaction to them.

How much does fate seem to want to humiliate Que Mala? Over the last 4 years, roughly 98% of Biden’s sentences have been so slurred, garbled or otherwise defective that they could be understood by neither God nor man.

But the ONE TIME that the late President manages to excrete a grammatically correct and clearly understandable sentence, that sentence turns out to be a rhetorical torpedo aimed to strike perfectly amidships against the rusty starboard side of the sinking USS Cackler!

Here’s Biden’s statement, verbatim: “…Puerto Ricans in Delaware are good, decent, honorable people. The only garbage I see floating out there is his supporters. His, his, his demonization [slur][slur] seen as unconscionable…”

The Dem MSM hacks, bathed in flop sweat and desperately going over the video like it was the Zapruder film, came up with their own “magic bullet” theory: the phantom apostrophe. (Worst Star Wars sequel ever, by the way.)

You are probably saying to yourselves, “Oh, if only we had an English professor to provide a quick grammar refresher!” Fortunately for you, I am here to save the day. So let me get my white board and my marker out…

Okay. The desperate MSM weasels are arguing that when Biden said “supporters” he didn’t mean to use that word as a second noun that is equivalent to the first noun (“garbage”) in a sentence whose syntax is clearly comparative.

He instead meant that word to have an apostrophe after it, indicating possession; thus the Scranton wizard meant to say that “the garbage [he sees] is the supporters’ [garbage].”

That meaning is possible but not likely, for two reasons:

First, there are less ambiguous ways to indicate possession here, e.g. “The only garbage belongs to his supporters,” or “The only garbage comes from his supporters,” or “The only garbage is that of his supporters.”

Second, the much more common syntax to indicate possession puts the noun doing the possessing BEFORE the thing/quality being possessed.

For example:

“AOC’s juicy booty” (her words not mine)

“Michelle Obama’s prominent Adam’s apple” (that one’s a two-fer, with “Adam” possessing his “apple”)

“Tim Walz’s inept shotgun skills”

“Kamala’s room-temperature IQ” or

“Liz Warren’s laughably non-existent Indian heritage” (#wemustneverstopmockingher)

So the much more likely interpretation is that Biden was saying exactly what he appeared to be saying: “Trump’s supporters are garbage.”

Especially since that reading fits in perfectly with a years-long pattern of top Democrats slandering GOP/Trump voters with pejorative terms: deplorables, bitter clingers, fascists, Nazis, sexists, racists, bigots, homophobes, xenophobes, threats to democracy, etc. and etc.

Kamala’s closing argument is clear: “Joy has left the building; Trump is Hitler; most Americans are garbage.”

Fellow CO-ers, let’s wear their scorn proudly, and shout it from the rooftops: “We are the garbage CAN people, not the garbage CAN’T people!”

Go vote! Hamas (and Harris/Walz) delenda est!