It’s the first weekend of the new Trump era, and I’m in the mood to start out in Schadenfreude corner.
Tom Homan has been in charge of ICE for 4 days, and has already arrested 1400 illegals. The vast majority of those had committed other crimes or else had had asylum requests rejected, and the remainder of them were “collateral arrests,” i.e. just plain illegals who were hanging around with the worst of the illegals when the hammer dropped.
Lefties call unintentionally catching those folks collateral damage, but normal people call it collateral benefits.
You’ve probably seen the video of the handcuffed Haitian gang member with 17 prior convictions screaming out of a cop car, “F— Trump! Biden forever, bro! Thank Obama for everything he’s done for me!”
He seems nice.
Man, if Trump was still running, he could slap an, “I’m Donald Trump, and I approve this message,” on the end of that and he’d have another world-class campaign ad.
When asked about that criminal yelling, “I’m not going back to Haiti,” Homan said, “Well, he’s wrong. He’s going back to Haiti.” He also said that now that Trump’s in office, ICE agents have had the handcuffs taken off of them, and put onto the bad guys.
In an unrelated story, I spent the last hour looking at satellite photos of Mt. Rushmore, and I think I’ve found a good spot to begin blasting, to make room for adding Tom Homan’s big ol’ head up there.
By the way, remember when Imhotep Pelosi – right after she tossed Biden’s desiccated corpse under the bus – said that she thought Joey Gaffes belonged on Mt. Rushmore? HA!
Meanwhile, Scott Jennings continues to go through leftist CNN talking heads like Sherman through Georgia, leaving a scorched moonscape of ridiculous talking points and grievously wounded low IQ narcissists in his wake.
I know CNN brought him on in a desperate attempt to have at least one conservative voice on their failing network. But I think the bubble they are in prevented them from appreciating what a bloodbath would ensue. They probably thought, “Hey, he’ll be in a 5-against-1 situation on every segment, so how bad could it be?”
To which I would reply, “Do you know why nobody ever entered Mike Tyson at the height of his powers into a boxing tournament against an entire class of kindergartners? Because it wouldn’t matter if there were 20 of them! That would just increase the number of knocked-out baby teeth rattling across the floor like chiclets, you idiots!”
Sorry for the graphic image. But seriously. Watch Scott Jennings taking on a panel of beta-males and sapphic scowlers, and try to keep the smile off of your face. It can’t be done.
Speaking of CNN, you may remember their pollster, Harry Enten, who throughout the fall used lots of polls – and circled many numbers on many screens – to argue that Que Mala was likely to win in November. He also polled Californians in the wake of the LA fires, and seemed shocked to find that the amount of computer searches for “wildfires” had soared something like 2400%, while searches for “climate change” had barely budged.
He really did that. While Los Angelenos were surrounded by empty reservoirs, century-old power lines that were actively casting off sparks, and armies of homeless people making campfires in the midst of environmentally protected Dry Brush Sanctuaries (thanks, Gavin!), Enten couldn’t figure out why everybody wasn’t jumping on the “climate change caused the fires” bandwagon.
Because you can’t spell “Einstein” without “Enten.”
Well now, Harry is breathlessly reporting the shocking finding that there has been a “massive shift” among Americans in support for deporting illegals. The bottom line is that 4 big polls found that between 55% and 64% of Americans want illegals forcibly vamoosed.
While Harry is struggling to understand exactly why so many Americans believe that illegals contributed to climate change, I’ve got to say that those numbers seem too low. I’ve seen a lot of polls in the last several years suggesting that over 70% of Americans want less LEGAL immigration. If that’s true (and it seems logical), then these poll numbers today suggest that there’s less resistance to illegal immigration than there is to legal immigration!
Regardless, it’s a little surprising that even the mouth-breathers at CNN would be shocked and confused by these polls. Regular people don’t approve of millions of people breaking our laws. DUH!
In other news, the lefties running The Daily Show might be feeling the consequences of their TDS-induced failures of late. But instead of hiring Scott Jennings to serially pants their unfunny correspondents, they recently sent Triumph the Insult Comic Dog to mock the poor dead-enders attending the “People’s March” in Washington on Inauguration Day.
If you haven’t seen it, you should, because it was very funny. Highlights were when Triumph suggested that the left needs more conspiracy theories, and suggested a good one: “Jimmy Carter was doing just fine until Trump was re-elected. Coincidence?” Then he handed out hand-drawn “No Carter Killers!” signs. He even came up with a chant: “GOP, stop the lies! How did Jimmy Carter die?”
Most of the insults were silly, but a few of the shots hit closer to home. As when he noted that nobody in this crowd was going to be breaking any windows at the capital, because “that would require upper body strength.” And, “Looking around here, I’ve never seen so many people worried about losing the right to contraceptives for purely hypothetical reasons.”
I found the bit strangely heartening, because many of the leftists played along and laughed at the jokes at their expense. And if the first step toward recovery is acknowledging that you have a problem, the second step has to be regaining your sense of humor. It looks like some of them might be achieving step 2.
Now if they can just get working on that first step…
Finally, one more sobering note.
Many people get furious when we suggest that making DEI hiring or election choices is foolish. To counter their anger, serious conservatives can advance the hypothesis that the issue is often a simple math problem.
For example, when a terribly incompetent president – hypothetically – says that his vice presidential pick and his Supreme Court pick are both going to be black women, he has made a mistake. Because black people are 13% of the population, and half of that number are women. So he’s starting with an arbitrarily restricted applicant pool of only 6.5% of the population from whom he could otherwise choose.
Or, we could make a more succinct yet equally convincing argument, by showing a video of African-American female Philadelphia mayor Cherelle Parker leading excited residents in a cheer for the city’s football team, which has advanced to the NFC championship game.
Shouteth the mayor, “E-L-G-S-E-S! Let’s go birds!”
Oof! “Eagles” is only two syllables. It’s got six letters, and the mayor missed two of them. Some wise guy immediately started making t-shirts with a Philly team motto printed on it: “Fly, ELGSES, Fly!”
It’s not like the Philly mascot has an especially obscure or complicated name. They’re not the Philadelphia Phainopepla, or the Philadelphia Common Paraque. (Look ‘em up!) I’m beginning to be grateful that she didn’t try to spell out “Philadelphia,” because you know she would have started with an “F.”
And if any of you out there think that my extensive research doesn’t pay off, you’re wrong. Because when I was looking up tough-to-spell bird names to make my hilarious point about the bonehead Philly mayor, I came across the Plain Chachalaca (rhymes with “Boom Shakalaka!”). Which I’m sure Parker couldn’t spell, but could definitely chant.
And no one in their right mind would prefer, “Eagles! Eagles! Let’s go birds!” to “Philly, Philly! Plain Chachalaca!!”
By the way, the last Republican mayor of Philadelphia left office 73 years ago. Democrat voters outnumber Republicans 7-to-1, and they elected brainiac Cherelle Parker to lead them.
UNEXPECTEDLY!
Martin Simpson 