Well, this is going to be at least a three- or four-column week, because addled lefties are still creating entertaining and educational stories faster than I can mock them. I’ve got the third in a three-part series of columns on immigration etiquette coming in the next day or two.
But first, on a related note, something else is stuck in my craw. Because the anomaly that has most aggravated me about our country’s struggles in recent years is that it’s been so VOLUNTARY on our part.
For most of human history, when nations struggled or faced the kind of systemic problems that our society has had, the problems have been forced on those nations. For example, late-stage Rome was beset on all sides by strong barbarian tribes; Poland tried to stave off Nazi mechanized and air forces with cavalry; a weakened czarist system was caught off guard by the demonic frenzy of a communist revolution.
By contrast, consider our recent struggles, in foreign policy and at home:
Foreign policy example 1: Iran’s despotic mullahs are developing nuclear weapons, which we could easily stop. We wouldn’t even have to do anything ourselves.
Our president could just get on a Zoom call with Netanyahu and some serious-looking IDF or Mossad guys. (Think: the modern equivalent of Ariel Sharon and eye-patch-wearing bad arse Moshe Dayan. And you know that Israel has some of those guys on staff at all times, Jehovah bless ‘em.)
Trump: The weird beards in Tehran are getting froggy with their nukes. What do you know about that?
Netanyahu: Little bit.
Trump: Is that DeNiro? Are you doing DeNiro?
Netanyahu: Are you looking at me? Because I don’t see anyone else here.
Trump: Ah! I love this guy! Anyway, if you happened to know where those nukes were being built, and the United States suggested that we have an interest in them prematurely detonating, how long would that take?
Netanyahu: From right now?
Trump: For example.
Netanyahu glances at a guy in a dark suit and sunglasses standing behind him, looking like a non-goy Jason Statham. The guy steps forward and whispers something to Netanyahu, then steps back.
Netanyahu: 47 minutes.
Trump: Sweet! I’ll call Jeffrey Goldberg and tell him I’ve got an exclusive story for him. (Netanyahu’s eyes widen, and he blinks rapidly.) AH! Got ya, Bibi!
Netanyahu relaxes, then crinkles the corner of his eyes and bobs a finger at Trump. “You! You got a gift!”
Trump (pointing a finger back at Netanyahu): DeNiro again, from “Analyze This!” I love that one. Anyway, make some Persian rubble bounce, and no tariffs for you.”
And, scene.
Example 2: The Houthis.
They’re a Third-World militia with souped-up bass boats and a handful of Iranian missiles, and drones you could get from Dick’s Sporting Goods. And they’ve been holding up world-wide shipping for a couple of years! All while Anthony Blinken racked up frequent flier miles in rounds of pointless meetings with a bunch of useless UN types and some Islamic “diplomats” who could barely keep a straight face.
Then Trump gets in, and comes into a WH briefing room after a round of golf, and watches a Houthi “stronghold” get lit up like Michael Moore’s eyes when he spots an unattended ham sandwich. Then, a couple of days ago, he releases another video, this time of a bunch of Houthis standing around in a rectangular grouping, planning a new attack.
Annndddd…missile strike! And suddenly the sand is littered with diced Houthis encrusted in sea salt and seasoned with RPG accelerant. [Begin Homer Simpson filter: “Mmmm, diced Houthis.”]
Trump posted the video with the Trumpiest of all possible descriptions: “These Houthis gathered for instructions on an attack. Oops, there will be no attack by these Houthis! They will never sink our ships again!”
And predictably, our legacy media – whom we don’t hate nearly enough – immediately tried to claim that the Houthi terrorists were just a bunch of peaceful Yemenis in a tribal gathering. Their evidence? Undated photos of other Yemenis in other rectangular groupings during other tribal gatherings.
Got that? Yemenis often get together in rectangles, and this group was arranged in a rectangle. Therefore, we put the warheads on the wrong foreheads. Yada yada yada, genocidal war crime!
Ugh! If these media hacks were around during WWII, you know they’d be showing Nuremburg rallies with Nazis all lined up in rows, with self-righteous voice-over narration saying, “You know who else liked to line up in rows? [Cut to pictures of a Lutheran worship service.] See? Germans, all in rows! The allies are bombing pacificist Lutherans! Won’t somebody please think of the Lutherans?!”
One fact that the MSM hacks don’t point out? If the Houthi gathering we just blew up had been a peaceful assembly of Yemeni civilians, the Houthi militia spokes-jihadis would have immediately released a full-run down of the names and ages of the sainted dead. Which they have not done.
Unexpectedly!
The same trend of voluntarily choosing weakness has been happening on the domestic front too. Was there any reason for bunches of cops to stand around watching as hordes of antifa and BLM rioters toppled statues, burned police stations, looted stores and did literally billions of dollars of damage to cities all over the country for months on end?
Was there any reason to watch mediocre male athletes pretending to be females, beating the hell out of actual female athletes, when the nation is full of dads of daughters who would have happily tagged in and beaten the third-rate male athletes like rented mules, if only the relevant authorities would have given them a wink and a nod?
Was there any reason for the nation to stand by and watch as millions of illegals streamed across our border, picking up free cell phones and voter registration forms before fanning out across the country, after which crime rates and welfare spending skyrocketed? (UNEXPECTEDLY!)
There was not. We volunteered to act weak and be victimized. And now, post January 20th, we’ve volunteered to be strong, and commence with the legal and tactical arse-whippings.
And suddenly TDA members are living like rats (with forcibly-shaved rat heads) in El Salvadoran cages, and Tesla-vandalizing incels are trembling in their mom’s basements as they await the cops’ arrival. (Maybe you’re not as smart as Elon, kids, because he built cars with a dozen cameras in them, and you keyed and set fire to cars with a dozen cameras in them.)
And illegals who proudly paraded six months ago with signs proclaiming, “Pay me to hate America!” and, “Cuyo calles? Nuestras calles!” are now huddled in public-housing apartments from which they’ve displaced American veterans, ingesting the last of their fentanyl stash to try to chase away the nightmares of Hulk Homan™ busting through the wall like the Kool-Aid Man with a New York accent and a phalanx of ICE agents right behind him.
And Hamas-sympathizers at Ivy League colleges who were recently stomping around in their terrorist tablecloth headgear attacking Jewish Americans are cowering in their dorm rooms trying to avoid authorities, like smelly Yahya Sinwar when he fled to that half-demolished building in Rafah, trying to hide from the IDF drone that moments later gave him the ol’ kosher KABOOM!
Speaking of America-hating terrorist sympathizers on campus, you may not have heard about the case of Iranian “legal scholar” Helyeh Doutaghi, who was fired by Yale a week ago, after being linked to the Palestinian Prisoner Solidarity Network (PPSN), which both the Biden administration and Canada had designated as a terrorist-linked group.
Doutaghi has a long history of spewing the usual Islamist anti-Semitic poison, describing as “Zionist barbarity” Israel’s non-genocidal and non-barbarous response to Hamas’ genocidal and barbarous attacks.
In addition to the religious bigotry angle, she also has the hateful Marxist lingo down pat, blathering on about how Western democracy is “a system built to serve capitalist property…born in genocide and enslavement…and [intended to deny] freedom and sovereignty to the colonized.” She has also promised to “use everything at my disposal to fight the fascist dictatorship of the United States.”
She seems nice, doesn’t she?
This innocent little dove – she’s got a kind of an Islamic AOC vibe going on – was given a visa to allow her into first Canada and then the US, before she eventually got her teaching gig at Yale. In a March interview after Yale first tried to question her about her connection to the PPSN, she said, “I had been very loud and proud about my [organizing] work…in the anti-imperialist, anti-capitalist and the anti-colonialist movements,” and “[Yale] never raised any concerns” about her “activities.”
Because of course they didn’t.
Anyway, when Yale notified Doutaghi that she was suspended until they could investigate her possible terrorist ties, she refused to cooperate with the investigation, and then was fired.
When her supporters heard about her suspension and then firing, many of them were especially outraged that this horrific injustice happened during the “holy month of Ramadan.”
To which most normal Americans replied, “Oh NO! Not the holy month of Ramadan! Anyway…”
Because we’re done volunteering to be weak, and to appease the enemies of our country and our culture abroad, and to harbor them here at home.
Hopefully Helyeh Doutaghi is going through our deportation process as we speak, if she isn’t gone already.
Because I think I speak for most Americans when I say, “Deport Helyeh?”
Hell yeah!
And also…
Hamas delenda est!
Martin Simpson 