Well, it’s the beginning of another Haughty Spirit month, so if you’re super stoked about your sexuality, you do you. But also, remember that everything doesn’t have to happen in public. Because there’s a time and place—
Sorry. My crack staff has just given me a correction, and here at the Simpsonian Institution we strive for accuracy. It turns out that I’d mixed up my King James texts. To wit, “Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”
So it’s Pride month, not Haughty Spirit month. My bad. Though in past years when I wasn’t able to look away from some parade floats on tv soon enough, I noticed that there was quite a bit of haughty spirit exposed too. Along with a disturbing amount of big bellies and bare arses. So thanks for those visuals, you exhibitionist loons.
I’m not going to ask why there’s no heterosexual pride month, because I think it’s weird to feel proud about sexuality. After all, as Cole Porter pointed out, “Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it.” And I’m not big on recorded sexuality parades of any type, anyway. (Though if you insist on having one, spotting a “reverse-cowgirl” float as I’m going through the channels wouldn’t be as unsettling as a “dudes in arse-less chaps” float would.)
By the way, note to aspiring rappers out there: Re-read those lyrics. They’re almost 100 years old and they’re about sex, but they’re still remembered, and they’re still goofy and fun. And there isn’t a single “b*tch” or n-word in there. (If you think anyone will be remembering “WAP” a century from now, you’re as dumb as your “songs” sound.)
Anyway, there’s no pride month for eccentric males like me, who prefer women, and I’m not asking for one. Although again, if we must have some sort of sexuality-related public celebration, I suggest that a Great Beauties Hall of Fame would be a good alternative. I am even willing to suggest some nominees for the first class of inductees, all of whom had an impact on an impressionable young Martacus: Sophia Loren, Raquel Welch, Farrah Fawcett and Nena (of “99 LuftBallons” fame).
Loren and Welch were at the height of their powers before I reached puberty, but when I saw both of them on tv reruns – Loren as a sponge diver in a movie I have no other memory of, and Welch fighting off dinosaurs in a fur bikini (that one was based on a true story, I think)… Well, let’s just say that I knew even then that I wouldn’t be going down the “Mayor Pete Path,” if you know what I mean.
Farrah is self-explanatory, and you wouldn’t think that a doe-eyed, one-named cutie singing in German would stick in one’s mind, but the heart wants what it wants. And of course my smokeshow wife would be inducted as the first winner in the Lifetime Achievement category.
Where was I?
Oh yeah. I’m hoping that since the cultural tide seems to have turned against some of the excesses of woke sexual foolishness (mandatory pronouns, kowtowing to those with autogynephilia or gender dysmorphia, 57 genders fantasies, etc.), Pride cheerleading might be less ubiquitous and annoying this year.
Speaking of “even educated fleas do it,” I am loving Trump’s beat-down of Harvard! As a former academic, I’ve always wondered exactly how much the Ivy League in general hates Jews, free speech, and academic freedom. And now it looks like we might be getting an answer: way more than $3 billion dollars’ worth!
When Trump first fired a shot across Harvard’s bow – telling them to start abiding by civil rights laws and crack down on Jew-hating freaks who have been disrupting their educational mission, or forfeit some grant money – I figured that the bureaucrats would make a token show of resistance and then sheepishly comply. I thought that the horrific optics of standing with obnoxious jihadi brats and their tent-ifada would be enough to make Harvard submit, even without financial pressure.
But no! The arrogant snoots dug their jack-booted heels in for Jew hatred uber alles, even after Trump threatened to take away more federal funds. So then he said he’d be challenging their tax exempt status, and trying to block them from enrolling foreign students, many of whom are a coveted source of both bundles of cash and hatred of America and the West – two coveted resources for the extremist partisans running Harvard.
Harvard got their noses even higher in the air – who would have thought that was even possible? – and filed suit against the president, rather than submit. Of course, partisan left judges are coming out of the woodwork to block Trump (unexpectedly!), but it’s hard to see how they can win this one.
American taxpayers can’t be forced to fund any university who defies federal laws in ways various and sundry, and no university is entitled to billions in funding automatically. As a schadenfreude-tastic beneficial side effect, this case is fortuitously exposing the dark underbelly of academe, not just in its anti-Semitism, but in the way it has been decreasing admissions for American students in favor of unvetted and often anti-American foreign students, and also systematically discriminating against conservative/traditional/pro-Western beliefs in faculty hiring and student admissions.
Over the weekend CO reposted a tweet from Shabbos Kestenbaum (@ShabbosK) (whoever that is), pointing out that within 20 minutes of Harvard President Alan Garber sanctimoniously proclaiming that, “Harvard is not Harvard without its international students,” Garber awarded an honorary Harvard degree (I’m guessing in “Anti-Semitism Studies?”) to Elaine Kim, who supports efforts to “ban Israeli students from all universities.”
Ugh. Kestenbaum summarizes the situation perfectly: “Israel is an American ally. Harvard is not.”
Yep.
I think Trump’s next move was a stroke of genius: he threatened to send $3 billion in grant money away from Harvard and to trade schools instead. It’s probably an empty threat, but I like the idea, and it reinforces Trump’s appeal to working class voters: The Dems are for the rich elites getting grievance studies degrees at Harvard, and he’s for blue collar folks learning a trade.
I’m hoping that if all else fails, and courts stop Trump from letting Harvard admit thousands of foreign students, he can at least give the leftists a taste of their own medicine, and deploy the “due process” gambit. The State Department can say, “Okay, we’re prepared to admit foreign students. But we have to give them very thorough, due-process vetting before giving them a student visa. And if that takes 4 or 5 semesters to get done, so be it.”
I feel bad for some innocent foreign students who get caught up in that process, but that’s the price that Harvard is imposing on them by defying the laws (and the taxpaying citizens) of the United States. Because Ivy League administrators and faculty need to learn the real meaning of something they’ve been chanting for years: no one is above the law!
Finally, speaking of jihad enthusiasts, Hamas might be running out of Sinwars.
You might remember that Yahya Sinwar was the leader of Hamas, until the IDF caught up with him last October. He ran into an apartment building in Gaza, where an IDF drone filmed him throwing a stick at it (rumors that he threw like a girl are confirmed, and hilarious) before they assisted him in assuming rubble temperature.
Well Yahya had a younger brother, and his name was Muhammad. (Unexpectedly!) He had helped plan the October 7th massacre, and he had taken his brother’s place as a Hamas leader. And on Saturday, Israel announced that earlier in May, they had struck an underground compound near a hospital in southern Gaza, thus sending Muhammad to his eternal reward.
Which, if I understand justice in the afterlife correctly, involves an eternity of rectal pitch-forking.
The Israeli defense minister with the most Israeli name ever (Israel Katz!) named the two most likely senior Hamas successors to the unlamented Sinwar brothers as Izz al-Din al-Haddad and Khalil al-Hayya, and warned them, “You are next in line.”
So if you’re keeping score at home, two Sinwars have been retired, the Katz is out of the bag, and the hyphenated Izz and Khalil are on deck. If you want to see their near future, open Duckduckgo.com and search “MLB Pitcher Randy Johnson hits a bird.”
And then picture a flying keffiyeh, instead of a cloud of feathers.
Hamas delenda est!
Martin Simpson 