Month: January 2026

Dems Get out of the Gate Quickly in 2026 (posted 1/5/26)

Well, the elite Democrats are starting off 2026 the same way they ended 2025: as condescending, creepy hypocrites. 

Under “condescending,” behold the wonder that is Larry Sabato.  You may remember Sabato because he’s the University of Virginia politics professor who founded the Center for Politics, which is laughably described as “nonpartisan.” 

But you probably don’t.  Because who cares? 

On the other hand, he is a near-perfect representative of our arrogant, educated, elite pundit class.  He’s highly educated, and even though he has nothing but disdain for regular people, he touts his Center as “work[ing] to promote civic engagement and participation.”  But I would argue that he’s no smarter than I am.

He has a lot political opinions, and is happy to yammer on about them.  So do I.  He has a BA, an MA and a PhD.  So do I.  He was Phi Beta Kappa.  So was I.  He was a Rhodes Scholar.  I…wasn’t.  He got his PhD from Oxford.  I…didn’t.  He has a earned a ton of money and a very high media profile by writing about politics.  I…

Look, let’s not get hung up on these meaningless comparisons.  Because everybody is different, and I have other, more impressive qualifications in my CV than he does.  For example, was Larry Sabato a four-time runner-up for People magazine’s Sexiest Man of the Year?  (Screw you, Patrick Dempsey, Chris Evans, Idris Alba and George Clooney!) 

My wife is hotter, my kids are better, and my Wonder Dog outclasses his low-IQ little stripper dog like the ones that several of the Kardashians probably carry around in their purses. 

Ok sure, I don’t know anything about his wife or kids, or if he even has a dog.  But I said what I said, and I stand by it 100%.

Anyway, Larry Sabato couldn’t even get 48 hours into 2026 without proving that he is a condescending jerk.  The proof came in his response to a statement by the new anchor of the CBS Evening News, someone named Tony Dokoupil.  

On New Year’s Day, Dokoupil started his tenure with an on-air mea culpa, acknowledging that most Americans don’t trust the legacy media any more. “On too many stories, the press has missed the story. Because we’ve taken into account the perspective of advocates and not the average American. Or we put too much weight in the analysis of academics or elites, and not enough on you.” 

To which all reasonably perceptive Americans said, “Duh!” 

Even though CBS has a lot to atone for, and the only rational response to Dokoupil’s message is, “We’ll believe it when we see it,” we should still allow ourselves to be pleasantly surprised when CBS makes even a baby step in the direction of doing the right thing.  Acknowledging reality and admitting fault is a good way for them to start a new year. 

But Sir Lawrence of Sabato begs to differ.  Because he immediately pushed his metaphorical glasses to the end of his nose and dialed the snoot factor up to 11 in a tweeted response to Dokoupil: “Absolutely! You wouldn’t want ‘academics and elites’ who have actually studied a subject to outweigh the off-the-cuff opinions of village idiots.”

[Sidebar: In this one response, Sabato showed himself to be the polar opposite of the late great William F. Buckley (peace be upon him), who famously said, “I’d rather be governed by 300 names drawn randomly from the Boston phone book than by the faculty of Harvard University.”]

Got that?  If you disagree with Larry Sabato and his ilk, you’re a village idiot!

In case you’ve forgotten the lofty goal of Larry’s Center at UVA, I’ll repeat it: “working to promote civic engagement and participation.” 

And obviously, the best way to accomplish that is to smear any dissenters as pitchfork-wielding mouth-breathers. “Listen up, morons!  You’re all idiots, and your uninformed opinions are crap.  So ‘engage with civics’ by bowing down to me as I lecture you on your wrongness, and then get out there and ‘participate,’ by voting exactly the way we experts tell you to!”  

That level of clueless narcissism is hard to comprehend.  Sabato’s job for decades has been to eat, drink and breathe politics.  And yet, in the Year of Our Lord 2026, he can still unselfconsciously and unironically tout the opinions of “academics and elites who have actually studied a subject,” as if we’ve all just woken up from a deep, decades-long, magical sleep.

After all, medical elitists like Dr. Fauci and Dr. Scarf – I don’t remember her name and won’t waste the time to look it up, but you know who I’m talking about – “actually studied” communicable diseases for years.

Annnnddddd…they said covid came from delicious pangolins that untermenschen ChiComs gobbled like circus geeks devouring live chickens; and that masks would stop the spread; and that the vax would keep you from getting it; no, the vax and then 18 more boosters; and that six feet of distance would keep you safe; and that you could attend screaming mob protests of St. George Floyd’s death safely, but going to church would kill you. 

And intelligence elites spent a lifetime actually studying intel and disinformation. 

Annnnddddd… 51 of them swore that Hunter Biden’s laptop – which contained hours of video of Hunter Biden snorting crack off of the behinds of hookers of many nations, along with Hunter Biden’s emails proving that he was a bagman for ChiCom apparatchiks and Ukrainian oligarchs, and that he kicked up 10% of his illegal bribes to “the big man” – was actually a Russian fabrication.  And that the non-existent Trump pee tape existed, and was proof that he was a Moscow-ian Candidate.

And our leftist policy experts assured us that the border couldn’t be closed without radical new legislation, and that illegals weren’t getting SNAP benefits or Medicaid, and that the Somali Learing Center was a world-class educational institution, well worth the $8 million per student cost.

And our leftist media experts assured us that Jen “Circle Back” Psaki and KJP were geniuses, and that the act of a male declaring himself a female magically turns all of his Y chromosomes to Xs.  And that Joe Biden was mentally sharp, with the physical vigor of an Olympic triathlete gold medalist whose strongest events were stair climbing and long-jumping over sandbags.    

But you don’t have to look to the army of lefty elite “experts” who have been relentlessly wrong or lying about everything all the time.  You can just look at the King of Elite Academics: Larry Sabato.

In addition to all of his academic credentials, Sabato started a website to make political predictions, and he modestly named it, “Sabato’s Crystal Ball.” 

Because of course he did.

Annnnddd… Sabato’s Crystal Ball has been about as accurate as a Magic Eight Ball. 

Unexpectedly!

In 2016, Sabato predicted a Cankles McPantsuit blowout win against Trump by an electoral vote count of 322-216, almost the exact opposite of what happened.  He also missed the House and Senate majorities. 

He got 2020 “right,” when Joey Gaffes won in the Most Legitimate Election Ever™.  (That was the one that hinged on 11 million Democrat voters who had never been seen before November of 2020, and who have never been seen since.)

But you’ll be shocked to know that he wrongly predicted that Que Mala would win the Electoral College (and the presidency) by 14 EC votes, when as we all know, she got wiped out by nearly 100 EC votes. 

Because God exists, and He loves us.

So if I’m reading the record correctly, the Village Idiots went 2-1, while Sabato went 1-2, with a big asterisk in front of the 1.

Accordingly, if it’s all the same to you, Larry, you can keep your Crystal Ball, and I’ll rely on my Crystal Brain, along with my Magic Eight Ball.

Which I just asked three questions: 

1. Is Larry Sabato half as smart as he thinks he is? 

2. Can a randomly chosen village idiot out-think Larry Sabato? 

3. Can Larry Sabato distinguish his fundament from a hole in the ground?

And I got, “My sources say no,” “You may rely on it,” and, “Reply hazy, try again,” respectively.   

Would you look at that?  The column’s already over, and I only got to “condescending elite Dems.”

So “creepy” and “hypocritical” Dems will be my topics next time. 

Hamas (and Trantifa) delenda est!

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Looking Forward to the New Year (posted 1/1/26)

I love New Year’s Day.  It comes in the middle of the 12 days of Christmas, during a long break spent with family; there is good football to watch; and I savor the chance to look back at the past year, and forward to the new one.   

In my last column I looked back at some highlights and lowlights of 2025, but the year certainly ended with all kinds of stupid.  Consider those cheese-eating surrender monkeys the French, for example.   They have a famed national celebration every New Years Eve in Paris, with huge crowds on the Champs-Elysees and a gigantic concert, followed by fireworks at the Arc de Triomphe at midnight.

Except for this year.  Because it is now too dangerous.  The French government no longer feels it can keep its own citizens safe in its capital on a national holiday.  A police statement alluded to “unpredictable crowd movements” as one cause for worry. 

You know, like when the church parking lot gets crowded on a Sunday at noon, or when lots of Gator fans descend on the stadium an hour before kickoff.  You can never be too careful when you’ve got crowds.  Especially the kind which are prone to moving around.    

So the French canceled their concert, and replaced it with a pre-recorded video broadcast.  Because nothing says, “Let’s celebrate this significant moment!” like… reruns. 

There will still be fireworks, but officials “urged people to watch from home.”  Because there is no better way to appreciate the visceral experience of immense colorful explosions filling the sky and cacophonous blasts you can feel in your chest than…to watch it on a tv screen. 

The evasive banality of these official French government pronouncements demonstrate that they believe that some things are better left unsaid. Especially when those things involve mobs of violent practitioners of a certain Religion of Peace™ whom the French have been allowing into their country for decades now.

Annnnddddd…no more celebrations, Frenchie!  Watch it on tv.

Meanwhile, here at home we have geniuses like Eric Swalwell, who is now running for California governor.    And if California Dems vote him into office, they’ll deserve the reign of error, flatulence and unguarded pillow talk with ChiCom honey traps that will ensue.

Swalwell’s latest campaign promise is a doozy.  He is pledging to arrest ICE agents and take away their driver’s licenses. 

You read that right.  ICE agents – the rare federal employees who actually have a proper constitutional job to do and are actually doing it correctly – will not get away with enforcing our laws on Swalwell’s watch.  Following in the footsteps of the seditious six – who told our military that they shouldn’t follow illegal orders, and then couldn’t point to any such orders they’ve been given, because those orders don’t exist – Swalwell tried to cover himself by using the weaseliest of weasel words.

To wit, “And if they commit crimes then they’re going to be charged with crimes, if it’s falsely imprisoning people, if it’s kidnapping, if it’s assault and battery, they’re going to be held accountable.” 

That kind of vacuous statement might work for the motley collection of AWFLs, sufferers from blunt force head trauma and CTEs, and non-English speakers who make up the Democrat voting base in California.

But the rest of us know that of course ICE agents committing those crimes would be charged with those crimes.  We also know that they are NOT committing those crimes.  Because detaining and then arresting people who broke our immigration laws isn’t “falsely imprisoning” them, and taking them off the street and legally holding them prior to deportation isn’t “kidnapping” them. 

And “assault and battery” is what happens to my ears and brain when Eric Swalwell starts talking on tv when my remote is not within arm’s reach.       

The driver’s license threat is especially rich.  When normal Americans think “problems with driver’s licenses in California,” they think about foreigners who just got here two weeks ago, and were issued voter’s registration paperwork and a CDL, despite the fact that they don’t know enough English to read road signs, or spell “CDL.”

Maybe Swalwell thinks that the total number of driver’s licenses is a fixed amount, and he needs to start confiscating licenses from American citizens who are enforcing our laws and keeping us safe, so that he can give those licenses to every Juan, Achmed and Apu with a hankerin’ to climb up behind the wheel of a 15-ton 18-wheeler and start flattening sedans and SUVs like JB Pritzker trampling people between him and a buffet.   

Where was I?

Oh yeah.  Looking forward to the new year.

I don’t do hard-and-fast resolutions, but I do like to set goals, and I’ve got a lot of items on my own personal bucket list that still need to be checked off:

First, of course, I’d like to get the CO website up and running again.

I’d like to fast-rope down from a helicopter just in time to prevent a crime from happening, or stop a useful idiot from talking a naïve young person into voting Democrat.

I’d like to dive into a body of water with a knife clenched between my teeth.

After being a four-time runner up, I’d like to finally win a People Magazine’s Sexiest Man of the Year award.

I’d like to win a Nobel Prize, just so that in my speech I could work in a Pelosi mummy joke, a Cherokee Liz Warren joke (#wemustneverstopmockingher), and a Pritzker dirigible joke. 

I’d like a law enforcement agency to require me to register my hands as lethal weapons. 

I’d like to be at a public event where I could interrupt an idiot making a land acknowledgment by standing up and yelling, “Either give the land back or shut your yap, you insufferable, virtue-signaling D-bag!” 

But enough about me and my personal goals. 

Politically, my over-arching resolution would be for us conservatives to wield the power the voters gave us as aggressively as the Democrats always do when they are in power.  Even if we don’t lose the House in November, time is fleeting and there is a ton of work to do, so we need to make hay while the sun shines, on many fronts:

1.Do everything possible to speed up deportations, and encourage illegals to self-deport.  Crack down on all benefits that serve as magnets for illegals: stop them from getting Medicaid funds, food stamps, illegal employment and college funding.  Defund the NGOs who have been conduits for money for themselves, and to enable illegals to get here and stay here.    

2. Use the power of federal money to incentivize insurrectionist “sanctuary” blue cities and states to obey federal law or suffer the consequences.  Take highway funds away from states who illegally issue any drivers’ licenses to illegals; take federal matching funding away from states who have been using those funds on boondoggles like the CA bullet train.  Withdraw funding wherever it can be legally withdrawn to stop taxpayers from unwillingly subsidizing wind and solar farms that produce expensive electricity that must then be subsidized again when it shows up in electric bills.

3. Use the power of every law and regulation – not as dishonest lawfare, but as aggressive enforcement of laws that have long been ignored or thwarted.  Arrest and prosecute every person who interferes with or attacks ICE, border patrol or the national guard.  Make examples of judges who break the law or rule frivolously; impeach a handful of them where you can, and arrest and prosecute those like the WI judge who was just convicted for helping an illegal escape ICE officers.   

4. Use conservative media to highlight the truth – and counter the MSM – on every story they distort or lie about, i.e. all of the stories.  Make the really bad actors famous – violent illegals, Somali scammers, brother-marrying anti-Semites in Congress – and highlight our wins (lower crime rates and unemployment, an improving economy, etc.).  Build on our recent successes in social media, and keep the spotlight on Dem malfeasance          

5. In a perfect world, I’d like us to keep the filibuster.  But in the real world, I’m afraid it’s time to get rid of it, both because the Dems will certainly do so the minute they get back in power (they already did, with judges), and because they’ve repeatedly demonstrated that they aren’t good-faith negotiators.  We can’t continue to fight with one arm tied behind our back, and we can’t continue to bring strongly worded letters to a knife fight.  If we don’t, the Dems will prevent us from making health-care reforms, and then will profit by blaming us for the failed Obamacare that they are 100% responsible for.     

We made some very good progress in 2025, but we need to keep the pedal to the metal in 2026.

I hope you all had a great holiday season, and are looking forward to the new year as much as I am!

Hamas (and Trantifa) delenda est!

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