martinsimpsonwriting

A Few Thoughts on What Motivates the Dems (posted 9/3/25)

As you read this, I’m once again on my way up to Tennessee and then to Illinois. This time, I’ll be seeing mom and sis in TN on the way up and back as always, but I’ll also be attending my first high school reunion ever, up in Illinois.

This is our 45th year reunion, and I figured I better get up there and see as many people as I can while there are still this many of us left! I’ll also hang with the cousins for a day or two afterward.

So I won’t have a column on Friday, and probably not on Monday either.

Today I’m bringing you an idea that I’ve just consciously realized, though I think I’ve had it in the back of my head for a while now. But so far, I think I had mistaken the Democrats’ second most prominent reason for opposing Trump.

Two columns ago, I wondered in writing why more Dems don’t just admit when one Trump decision or policy actually works, if for no other reason than to look reasonable, and to keep their powder dry for a time when one of Trump’s more controversial policies is vulnerable to some strategic criticism.

I think we can all agree that the first and main reason that explains their resistance to his every move – from mob protests, to stalling tactics in Congress, to illegal local court rulings – is their Stage-4 Metastatic Trump Derangement Syndrome. As much as they hate conservatism and the GOP, they hate Trump with the burning fury of a thousand suns.

He’s their Great Orange Whale, and they will pursue him with an obsessive fury that cannot be assuaged. Ahab’s famous last words, as he realizes that his hunt has become suicidal – “From hell’s heart, I stab at thee; for hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee.” – are directed at Moby Dick.

But do those words not sound as if they could come from the mouths of any of dozens of d*cks in the Democrat party? (And I’m not just talking about Dick “nobody ever calls him Richard” Durbin and Richard “everyone secretly calls him Dick” Blumenthal.)

I’ve previously thought that the Democrats’ second reason for opposing Trump at every turn was the one they have shouted from the rooftops: they believe that all of his policies are so wrong-headed and certain to end in failure, and they are doing everything they can to prevent the damaging outcome of those policies.

I still think that some Dems believe that. But I used to think that nearly ALL Dems believed it, either because they don’t know any better, or because they’ve been seduced or brainwashed by the pleasures and self-satisfaction of believing yourself to be one of the good guys, on the right side of history, fighting against dark forces.

But I now think that the elites and the smartest people in the Democrat party and legacy media are opposing Trump for the opposite reason.

They are not trying to stop him because of how disastrous his policies will be; they are trying to stop him because of how successful his policies will be, if he is allowed to carry them out.

I guess that should have been obvious, because as conservatives, the common sense behind conservative policies seems obvious.

If you lower tax rates and allow people to keep more of what they earn, they’ll work harder and earn more, and pay more taxes. (Duh!) If you harshly punish crime you’ll get less of it, and if you don’t you’ll get more of it. (Duh!) Men can’t become women, and women can’t become men, and people who come here illegally are illegals. (Duh X 3!)

The Dems have worked very hard at pushing their party line that all of our ideas are untrue, to the point that many of their foot soldiers believe it, despite all evidence to the contrary. But their party leaders have to know better at this point. Because they’ve been proved wrong too many times, and it’s become a pattern that the professional politicians amongst them cannot be unaware of.

Dems screamed all through 2024 that the border crisis – after denying that it existed for the previous three years, when all PWFE (People With Functioning Eyes) knew that it existed – could not be fixed, and the border not secured, without “comprehensive immigration reform,” a massive, complicated set of laws and regulations that would take many months to create and debate and pass, and many more months to implement.

Annnndddd…Trump closed the border in 27 minutes, and it worked like a charm.

The same thing has happened with crime. The left said that if we could defund the police and allow “the people” to police themselves, the result would be Edenic. So they gave over Seattle and Portland to CHAZ and CHOP and The People’s Republic of Meth, and got chaos, violence and filth.

Some radical lefties protested Trump’s moving the National Guard into DC, claiming that it would exacerbate tensions and lead to increased violence there.

Annnnddddd…NOPE!

Also, Dems – and a few oddball conservatives (or ex-conservatives?) like Tucker Carlson –warned that if Trump tried to take out the Iranian nuke facilities he’d be launching WWIII, that Russia/China/India and the rest of the BRICS nations (whoever they are) would align against us and plunge the region into violent chaos, killing millions, including the US troops that would have to be on the ground to try to stop the slaughter.

Annnndddd… Trump took out the nuke facilities with one strike, following on 11 days of previous Israeli strikes that took out Iranian air defenses, surface nuke facilities, and every Iranian military leader above the rank of Cannon Fodder, First Class.

Thus tempting me to seek a patent on a line of t-shirts (playing off the Israeli victory in the Six-Day War) featuring Trump’s famous mugshot over the words, “12 Days, B*tch!”

The four long years of Biden and the last 7 months of Trump II have shown that the Dems’ most powerful foe isn’t Trump, or the GOP. It’s reality. Because their plans keep running into Reality, and so far, Reality is undefeated.

The “Inflation Reduction Act” spiked the rate of inflation. The campaign against Trump’s re-election based on “defending democracy” was crushed by democracy, in the form of the popular vote. After accepting tent cities and filth in LA for years, Ken-Doll Newsom showed that it could all be easily cleaned up, when he cleaned it up in a few days before the ChiCom big wigs came for a visit.

Annnddd…then it returned to an intractable problem again, once the commies left.

Trump showed that he can clean up DC, and that he could close the border, and that he could take out the Iranian nuke threat with one stroke. By using DOGE-like efforts and cutting many billions of DEI and other wasteful spending, he is proving that nobody outside of USAID and the many hundreds of leftist NGOs they’ve been feeding will miss them. Closing down the Department of Education will save us billions and cost our children’s actual education nothing.

Not all of Trump’s actions will be successful, of course. And not every Democrat plan is doomed to fail.

But as conservatives, Reality provides a nice tailwind for us, helping us along. For the Dems, it’s a ferocious headwind to struggle against, forcing all of them to bend forward until they’re almost crawling, and threatening to toss them tumbling backwards, arse over teakettle.

All of them except for JB Pritzker.

Because if I can take a page from the Democrats’ hysterical handbook of smears, that Hippopomatic Hitler is huge!

Hamas delenda est!

Rosie and Jen Psaki Beclown Themselves Over the Minneapolis Killer (posted 9/1/25)

As usual, I wanted to talk about a range of subjects today, but the left has been pushing one particular topic hard for the last several days – the Catholic school shooting in Minneapolis – so even though I touched on it Friday, I feel duty-bound to point out the way the Dems are spinning it.

Although just about all national Dems and leftist talking heads are playing variations on the same few themes, I want to call out two of them for special attention. The first is that totally stable little minx, Rosie O’Donnell.

I was all set to really go after her, because right after the shooting, she put out an idiotic video claiming that the perp was, “a white guy, Republican, MAGA person… whaddya’ know… white supremacist.”

In her defense, she may have listened to Aaron Katersky, who mentioned that the killer had written Trump’s name on his guns, but not that he had said, “Kill Trump!” (Nice journalism there, Ay-Ay-Ron!) (Semi-obscure Key & Peele skit reference for $100.)

On the other hand, that’s really not much of a defense, because Rosie has been around long enough to know that you can’t trust any MSM liar as far as you can throw them. She’s been posting hateful rants about Trump and anyone who voted for him since she left America for Ireland 7 months ago, and her latest bit of dis-information was pretty much SOP for her.

Still, Rosie has her decent moments. First, unlike nearly all of the spineless narcissist celebrity leftists who always promise to leave the country if a Republican wins the White House, she actually had the guts to follow through and leave. (One more sign that Trump’s strategy to get undesirables to self-deport is working!)

Second, when she realized that the mentally ill Trump-hating killer was not a MAGA-loving Trump fan, she actually posted an apology. And as you know, an apology from a leftist who was wrong is as rare as an un-eaten comically oversized turkey leg in the Pritzker mansion.

Her apology is hard to watch. I mean, visually. She’s got this thing about shooting videos with the camera about six inches from her face. (The giant cold sore on her lip doesn’t help.) And as a middling-looking fella myself, I can say that she’s not got a face made for close-ups.

(If you’ve watched any of my videos on my site, you’ll notice that I shoot from a respectable three or more feet away – no close-ups! You’re welcome.)

But again, credit where credit is due. She actually says, “You were right. I did not do my due diligence before I made that emotional statement, and I said things about the shooter that were incorrect.” Though she couldn’t help taking a shot at the NRA for some reason, she did say, “The truth is I messed up, and when you mess up, you ‘fess up. I’m sorry. This is my apology video, and I hope it’s enough.”

My own pettiness and love of mockery tells me that hell no, it’s not enough. Not when the wrong conclusion she jumped to was the result of her habitual malice toward half of humanity.

But then Uncle Jesus is always nagging me about forgiveness, and leaving the judgment to Him. (The Guy won’t let up about that!) So I’ll just say that Rosie seems like such an unhappy person, and she’s not hurting any of us nearly as much as she’s hurting herself. I hope she can find some way to let go of all the bitterness she’s embracing.

Then again, if she takes stupid shots at me and mine, I’ll be counter-punching again. It’s like hitting my knee with that weird little hammer thing: I’ve gotta kick.

The second person I watched beclowning herself over the Minnesota killer is our favorite Ginger Prevaricator, Jen Psaki.

If you didn’t see her soliloquy on the topic on MSNBC – and you didn’t, because you’re well-adjusted, and have a life – you missed some actual tears, and a lot of pre-programmed, dishonest Dem talking points.

While she was close to crying several times – and I have no reason to believe that her emotions weren’t genuine – she quickly retreated into lefty agitprop. In an interview of Minneapolis mayor Jacob “small” Frey, she talked about the way conservatives are “weaponizing the details” of the murders, and asked him, “What do you do as a leader of your city to prevent details from being weaponized, and using this to blame something other than the guns?”

If she called “details” what they really are – facts – the goofiness of claiming that they are being “weaponized” would be more obvious.

Ideally, journalists should focus on finding and reporting the facts, and letting their audiences decide how to interpret them. Realistically, most journalists are just biased commentators producing opinion pieces. But even so, they could still make an effort to present multiple perspectives, even if they’ll ultimately lead viewers toward one of them.

But that’s not enough for Psaki. She presents her own foregone conclusion, which must not be challenged: the guns are the entire problem, full stop.

(Can you imagine playing the board game Clue with a leftist ideologue? In the leftist version, there’s no Colonel Mustard or Miss Scarlett, or anyone else. There are only the rooms where the crime took place, and the REAL culprits: the candlestick, dagger, lead pipe, revolver, rope or wrench.)

In a later monologue, Psaki said all of the quite parts out loud – “all that [conservatives] are offering is thoughts and prayers.” She accused them of spouting those “hollow words,” and then “attempt[ing] to shift the focus.” She said, “You’re already seeing narratives about how the shooter was trans, about how the shooter appeared to be anti-Trump and anti-Semitic….”

First she called them “details,” and now she calls them “narratives,” but they’re still just plain, old facts. The shooter WAS trans, and anti-Trump, and anti-Semitic.

But Psaki’s not psatisfied with that. She sneers that we’re “weaponizing the shooter’s identity to distract from what matters.”

And what matters is…wait for it…guns. Unexpectedly! (“Don’t give me that Professor Plum or Mrs. Peacock or the gender-confused grievance studies major,” psays Psaki, “what matters is clearly the assault revolver! Or possibly the assault lead pipe, or the assault rope.”)

But she can’t even keep her delusions straight, because one minute later, when she circles back (HA!) to talk about past mass killings, the first one she mentions is the May 2022 shooting in Buffalo. And here’s how she describes it: “A white supremacist committed a mass shooting at a supermarket in a predominately black neighborhood.”

Whoa there, psassy Psaki! I think you meant to say that a semi-automatic rifle and a shotgun committed a mass shooting, don’t you? Leave the irrelevant “details” and “narratives” about the white supremacist – who absolutely does NOT matter in the story – out of it!

After Psaki lambasted conservatives for “offering thoughts and prayers,” some snarky conservatives posted old tweets from Psaki after Steve Scalise was shot by a Bernie bro in 2017, in which she offered – you guessed it – her own “thoughts and prayers.”

But I’m a bigger person than that, and won’t pile on. (Stop laughing!) Instead, I’ll leave her hypocrisy to one side, and point to one glaring mistake, and one glaring lie in her argument.

The glaring mistake is one that Psaki and many other Dems (including Small Frey) make about religious people in general, and Christians in particular – that we believe that prayer will result in God intervening to stop all tragedies. (Even those who don’t explicitly say that clearly believe it, because otherwise why the mockery of thoughts and prayers? The implication is clearly that the fact that God didn’t prevent the Minnesota shooting proves that prayer is meaningless, or God doesn’t exist, or both.)

But I know a lot of Christians, and I don’t know any who believe that, especially if they’ve read even parts of the Bible. As far as we know, none of the apostles prayed to be crucified, beheaded, beaten to death or stoned for their faith, yet most of them were. Christ himself prayed a fairly famous prayer that a certain cup would pass from Him.

(Spoiler alert: that cup did NOT pass from him.)

As on many other theological topics, my dear, departed dad had good advice for me when I was a kid: pray like everything depends on God, and work like everything depends on you. And pack heat, use a two-handed shooting stance, and aim small, miss small.

Okay, I made that last part up. But the “pray and work” part is true. Because dad knew a few things.

The glaring lie is easier to prove. When Democrats scream about conservatives offering nothing else to stop gun violence other than thoughts and prayers, they are full of it, and they have to know it. Because for decades now, the GOP has offered many steps to decrease gun violence:

1. We always advocate harsh penalties and long jail sentences for committing crimes with a gun, and the Dems always oppose those. (One main reason why: several of the Dems’ pet identity groups – blacks, to a lesser extent Hispanics, and confused transgenders – disproportionately commit gun crimes. So enforcing harsh penalties for gun crimes is racist, or transphobic, or something.)

2. Conservatives regularly push for hiring armed security at schools, churches and other public venues, and the Dems usually oppose that.

3. Most conservatives support allowing teachers to voluntarily conceal-carry their guns at school – with proper vetting and training – and Dems always oppose that.

4. Conservatives also advocate hardening targets like schools and churches just as we do with sports stadiums, broadcast studios, and congress buildings: hiring armed security, screening people who want to enter, installing cameras and various locked doors and other barriers to entry, etc..

This last point is one “narrative” that the Dems have been particularly stubborn about. Instead of hardening targets, the lefties’ main “solutions,” have been to create “gun-free zones,” counting on an invisible barrier of self-righteous proclamations to deter hateful criminals from preying on defenseless victims.

(Spoiler alert: NOPE!)

Psaki actually bought into this delusion in her above-mentioned monologue. She cited reactions to earlier school shootings, mocking “the conversations about hardening the doors. As if doors were the reason we kept having mass shootings. It’s not about the doors!”

Of course not, Jen. It’s all about the candlestick!

I mean, the gun.

It’s especially hard to listen to people like Tim A-WOLz lambasting conservatives for doing nothing to stop last week’s shooting. Because in 2023, shortly after a different “transgender” Christophobe murdered a bunch of Christian kids at the Covenant School in Nashville, an association of independent schools and another association of Catholic schools sent requests to Wolz, asking for funding for greater security at Catholic and other non-public schools in his state.

While his office responded, acknowledging the issue along with receipt of the request, no money was forthcoming. In the meantime, Wolz did find the time and the funding to champion Minnesota’s self-congratulatory support for making “transgender” students feel welcome in public schools, including welcoming biological males into women’s bathrooms and showers.

On the bright side, if any of the girls traumatized by sick males in their locker room also happened to need a tampon, they could easily get one…by asking a male friend to bring one from the men’s bathroom, where Jazz Hands had put them.

Finally, I think it should be alarming to many of our Democrat friends to realize just how much they have in common with last week’s killer.

He hated Jews. (Check.) And Christians (Check.) And Trump. (Check.) He was decidedly untroubled by the idea of killing children. (I’m not saying that’s the exact same as the mindset over at Planned Parenthood. But I’m not saying that it’s wildly different, either.) And the killer’s scrawled, “Where is your God?” on his gun is not far from the Dems’ “What good are your thoughts and prayers?” mantra.

On the other hand, the killer did make one significant departure from Democrat orthodoxy. In his tortured journals, he wrote, “I’m tired of being trans. I wish I never brainwashed myself.”

I doubt that the Dems are going to put THAT in their 2028 convention platform.

But they should.

Hamas delenda est!

My Strategy For Not Letting Politics Turn You Into an Idiot (posted 8/28/25)

In the comments to my Wednesday column, David Michael DeLoach wondered whether, when I mentioned that “an extended family member [of mine] is a manager of a Cracker Barrel,” I may have been talking about JB Pritzker. Even though I probably wouldn’t admit it if the Round Mound of Unsound Governance were related to me, I can promise that he isn’t.

But the idea did cause me to wonder what that might be like. The first thing I thought of was a hypothetical Thanksgiving if Uncle Pritzker – D(irigible) came over for dinner. I can picture how it would start: I bow my head to say grace. “Lord, we thank you for this—”

And the prayer is interrupted by a horrific, cacophonous chomping/gnashing/slobbering/crunching sound that drives us all to instinctively crouch beneath the table, before we open our eyes and slowly peek out.

Annnndddd…there’s a stripped-clean turkey carcass that looks like a school of piranhas just swam over it and JB’s chair is empty. And probably broken into kindling.

And, scene.

Okay, having got that out of the way…

Regular readers often tell me that I’m a role model for them. Well, maybe not “often.”

Okay, one reader said that once. He said that whenever he’s faced with a choice, he asks, “WWMD?” (What would Martacus do?) and then acts accordingly. And who am I to contradict his wise plan?

So as a public service, I will now explain how I think we should behave when we’re confronted with bonehead mistakes by politicians on our side of the aisle. And it’s a pretty simple plan:

Admit it. Don’t lie about it, or try to spin it. Call it a mistake, explain your reasoning, and then do whatever you can to persuade people to agree with you, and to persuade the politician to reverse course.

Don’t be a spoiled narcissist and stomp away, pouting that your guy has betrayed you, and if you ever vote again, it won’t be for him!

After that, recognize that no politician will please you 100% of the time, and consider rating your guy with a batting average. If he’s hitting over .500, that’s good. Anything over .700 is great, and the best you’re likely to get in this fallen world.

Then move on with your life.

I’ll give you an example. I am a dedicated conservative, and pretty much no politician with a chance of winning national office is conservative enough for me. So I’m generally hoping for the best, but expecting to be disappointed fairly often, without that thought crushing me. (I might call this being “cautiously optimistic.”)

Right now I’d say that Trump is hitting around .750, and I’m loving a lot of what’s happening. Closing down the border in 20 minutes, ramping up deportation efforts through various means (raids prioritizing the worst of the worst, encouraging self-deportation through the app and even cash payments, etc.), the BBB tax breaks, cracking down on antisemitism on campuses, cutting USAID and the Department of Education and PBS/NPR, some DOGE cuts, taking out Iran’s nuke facilities etc. and etc.

But he’s not a consistent and disciplined conservative, so he’s done things I don’t like. I don’t like the “no taxes on tips” – not because I don’t like tax cuts, but because I don’t like the government picking winning and losers, and giving bennies to some blue collar workers (wait staff) over others (cooks, bus boys, etc.). Just lower taxes across the board, and let the free market work.

I don’t like the feds taking stakes in private companies (Intel, Nvidia, etc.), for the same reason.

I think his tariffs have been more chaotic and confusing than they’ve needed to be, and I don’t understand imposing them on our allies as much (or sometimes more than) on our enemies.

Speaking of the Chicoms, I also don’t like inexplicably playing nice with them, as when he has allowed them to keep TikTok going (breaking an earlier promise), and especially agreeing to allow 600,000 Chinese students to take up slots in our universities and gather intelligence for a brutal communist dictatorship.

And as positive as Trump’s governing results have been, I think he’s giving up 10-15 points in approval – which becomes political capital in future battles – as a penalty for acting more like a jackass than he needs to.

Still, all things considered, he’s doing a really good job, and considering the hellish possible Hillary and Que Mala administrations that he’s saved us from, he’s by far the best president since Reagan, IMHO.

See? Was that so hard? I know that parts of it probably bugged some of you, but we’re all fine. I might even be wrong about some of it. (Spoiler alert: nope!)

Now let’s look at the other side of the aisle, to the smoking, clattering, rattling wreck that is the national Democrat party and their MSM remoras. How have those elite Dems been reacting to Trump’s second term so far? Are they admitting the mistakes their side has made, or some of the good moves that Trump has made, and doing a little self-reflection? Are they trying to call balls and strikes, and trying not to look like they’ve gone bat-guano crazy?

Hoo-boy, they are NOT!

Start with the border. The Dems are obviously on the losing end of that issue, but they can’t just admit that Trump was right to close the border. And when he deports a high-profile bad actor like Kilmar, the Dems can’t just say, “Okay, he’s a bum, but a lot of the illegals are good people just trying to make better lives for themselves.”

Nope, they’ve got to claim he’s an unjustly victimized Maryland father. And when it comes out that his wife told the cops that he was beating her – twice! – they say, “Don’t believe all women!” And when he has common MS-13 tattoos, and when video surfaces of him smuggling half a dozen Mexicans cross-country in another gang-member’s car?

The Dems plug their ears and close their eyes and chant, “Mary-land fa-ther, Mary-land fa-ther” over and over again.

Or consider crime. When Trump goes into DC and crime immediately drops, the Dems can’t just say, “Thanks for the help, and we now realize that we need to do more, so we’ve got it from here.”

Nope, they’ve got to scream about orange fascism, and show the country that they’d rather let their black constituents die than let them be protected by the Apricot Adolf. Ken-Doll Newsom tried to troll Trump, pointing out cities in Red States with higher murder rates per capita than LA. Annnnddd… all of those cities have been governed entirely by Democrats for decades. D’oh!

When a smarter Democrat like (don’t laugh) Joe Scarborough tried to keep Chicago’s awful mayor “Let’s Go” Brandon Johnson from making the same mistake of denying his obvious crime problem, Johnson was too dimwitted to take the lifeline.

Scarborough first asked him if an extra 5,000 cops on the beat would help, but Johnson rambled about how money for more housing and education would help. Joe tried again, suggesting that more cops would be useful, but Johnson Que-Mala-ed off into some word salad about how the question is too complex and multifaceted, and root causes, and infrastructure…

To his credit, Joe said, “That’s not what I asked,” and begged the dope to just say that more cops could be part of the solution. But Let’s-Go was still muttering his previous answer. “…and systemic racism, and Jim Crow, and unequally distributed resources…”

When Joe finally threw up his hands and gave up, Johnson then had his bodyguards pop some smoke outside the studio, so that he could run serpentine to his limo amid chattering small arms fire, while he called back over his shoulder, “We don’t want Trump’s KKK storm troopers here, we’re doing fine!”

The lefties have been doing the same thing about redistricting. Rather than just admitting that they’ve gerrymandered in all the blue states but that it’s sleazy and everyone should stop it, they have to pretend that the GOP move to do it in red states is an unprecedent assault on democracy.

David Brooks, the formerly reasonable person who sold his soul to become the token “conservative” at the NYT compared Texas redistricting to the use of mustard gas in war! And he couldn’t even leave it at that, saying “I fully grant you that Trump started it,” when he knows perfectly well that the largest blue states are more lopsidedly gerrymandered than the red states will be after they redistrict.

Finally, the tragic shooting in Minneapolis, which is a story we’ve seen way too often: mentally unstable damned soul commits mass killing atrocity.

Decent people would feel the grief and hold their tongues and support the victims in any way they could. Stupid politicians would jump in and start assigning blame without knowing the facts. Evil morons would apply their political litmus test, playing the story up if the killer could be identified with their opponents, or trying to bury it if he’s associated with their side, and lying about the details either way.

Does anyone have to guess which way the Dems and the MSM (but I repeat myself) played the Minneapolis story?

Even after so many such stories have blown up in their faces in the past, the Dems can’t resist jumping on the rake again.

Mayor Jacob Frey – who you may remember as Mayor Wussy McPussington from several years ago, when he was surrendering his city to BLM rioters –sneered at those offering “thoughts and prayers,” and condemning anyone who noticed that the killer identified his own “trans” identity as one source of his misery as transphobic bigots.

A soporific NPR host, after an interview in which a Minneapolis official correctly called the male killer “he,” corrected the “error,” saying that we don’t know the killer’s identity or how “they” identify.” Later on, the New York Times cleared up the confusion, calling the male killer “her.” Because: journalism!

Talented writer/moron Stephen King – perhaps thinking that since inanimate objects in his fiction (e.g. the car Christine) kill people, inanimate guns must also kill people in the real world – shared his wisdom about the culprit. “Whether he was transgender is beside the point. The point is he had a gun.”

(Um, do I have to admonish you about misgendering the obviously female killer, Stephen? Shame on you!)

A gun “expert” on CNN agreed with King that semi-automatic weapons are the problem. Then he immediately proved that he doesn’t know the most basic facts about guns, by saying that “these things [semi-auto weapons] can shoot dozens of bullets in just one trigger pull.” (Of course, FULLY automatic weapons do that. And in this context, they are the opposite of SEMI-automatic weapons, you numbskull.)

Perhaps the best example of leftist lying about this newest story came from ABC News reporter Aaron Katersky who said that “the name of Donald Trump” was written on his guns. Could this finally be the elusive, murderous Trump supporter whom the legacy media has been waiting for, lo these many years?

Nope! It turns out the phrases, “Kill Donald Trump” and “Kill Trump Now!” appeared on the killer’s guns.

If I didn’t know the killer is already dead, I’d phone in a tip to the cops that they might need to see if Tim Wolz, Gavin Newsom or most of the Democrat members of congress can account for their whereabouts at the time of the shooting.

Because that sounds like something straight out of the DNC.

Hamas delenda est!

How To Destroy Your Business (posted 8/27/25)

I’ve always thought that it’s really tough to succeed in business. You’ve got to worry about government regulations, a shortage of dependable employees, the 20% of customers who are Karens or Karen-adjacent, and brutal competition.

Grocery stores have profit margins between 1-2%; half of restaurants are out of business within 5 years. If you’re a small business, the big boys will try to crush you. If you’re a big business, the Chicoms will steal your IP and undercut you.

I started out as a landlord with a net worth of about $6K, and had to buy a house that was in such bad shape that no other real estate people wanted to buy it and put the work in that it needed. When I managed to finish it, after surviving a dozen rookie mistakes, I had to compete for tenants with big-dollar real estate companies and large apartment complexes.

And if some leftist d-bags moved into the neighborhood and put a few obnoxious, virtue-signaling “In this house we believe…” signs in their yards, no reasonable people would want to live there, and my property’s value would plummet.

So yeah, business is tough. (It’s certainly not government, where you have to embezzle millions and rape a nun in front of many witnesses to lose your job, and a program or department can fail for many decades, and still have eternal life.) You’ve got to put substantial stakes at risk and work your butt off, and you still might fail.

That’s what I used to think, anyway.

But now I’ve been watching our culture for the last five years or so, and I’m starting to ask myself a new question: How hard is it to NOT ruin your business?

Consider Bud Light. You’ve got a built-in audience of semi-drunk frat boys and former frat boys who will continue to buy your product out of a kind of tipsy muscle-memory. You’re on autopilot. Just keep turning out middling beer and hammering checks.

But no. You hire some woke management who puts an AWFL (affluent white female liberal) in charge of marketing, and she starts by saying that frat boys are disgusting, and we want a new audience. And she hires a ridiculous boner-killing he/she to call into question the masculinity of anybody seen drinking Bud Light in public. And billions of dollars fall off your market valuation overnight.

Or say you’re Jaguar. British vibes, sexy lines; even the ridiculous Brit mis-pronunciation of your name (jag-you-are) is cool, somehow. (For the proper pronunciation, check the Jacksonville NFL franchise: jag-wahr. You’re welcome, Nigel.) So do you run an ad campaign with some James Bond-looking guy in the driver’s seat, with an attractive female in the passenger seat, giving him a look like she can’t wait for him to get her home so she can throw herself on him like JB Pritzker on a deep-dish pizza?

No. You hire a bunch of androgynous freaks with rhombus-shaped haircuts who look like the casting call for that old SNL sketch about the German new-age music show. (“Now is the time on Sprockets ven ve dance!”) (Google it.) And you shoot them on a sound stage modeled on a Salvador Dali nightmare on Planet Teletubby, with a soundtrack from an Eastern-block Devo cover band.

And you never show a Jaguar for even one second!

Annnnnddddd… market share collapse.

Or how about Victoria’s Secret? Talk about a bullet-proof built-in market! You’re shooting for the 97% of men who will drive into the back of a city bus or fork a piece of steak right into their own eye if an attractive female walks by wearing a lot more clothes than a Victoria’s Secret model. And the 97% of women who want to appeal to those men, or look like those women.

For decades VS followed a tried-and-true approach: pay 20-something genetic freak supermodels to eat like a rabbit and be photographed with six square inches of fabric covering the points of most interest, and then back up a Brinks truck to the cash register and watch millions of customers throw heavy bags of cash into it.

But along come the AWFLs and the misogynistic gay guys, with their brilliant plans to fix something that isn’t just NOT broken, it’s un-freaking-breakable.

“Let’s get some morbidly obese women whom men would pay to put on some clothes, and shoehorn them into some slinky unmentionables. Make sure the camera crews wear mylar face-shields lest a thong or garter belt succumbs to physics, snaps with a rifle-shot sound, and takes out an eye.”

Then another one says, “I’ll see your Rosie O’Donnell gambit, and raise you a Dylan Mulvaney. That’s right, let’s strap some mentally unstable men into that lingerie. And before you can ask, NO, we’re not going to photoshop out their shaving shadows or tell-tale testicles.”

(Worst Edgar Allan Poe story ever, by the way.)

That’s a thing that happened in the world. Victoria’s Secret kicked Gisele Bundchen’s and Heidi Klum’s firm behinds and voluptuous breasts to the curb, replacing them with Admiral “Rachel” Levine in a lacy Babydoll contraption and a Lizzo look-alike in a pair of critically unstable boy shorts.

It was all bulges – either phallic or adipose – as far as the eye could see and the gorge could rise.

And Sports Illustrated followed suit (!), turning the once-coveted swimsuit edition into the visual equivalent of Chinese water torture, without even the chance to catch a glimpse of a random Fang Fang in her skivvies. (#Swalwellisaflatulenttraitor)

Or how about the NFL? Football is an un-screw-up-able product, right? It’s America’s sport, and the competition is not particularly close. Your audience is largely straight males and their straight female companions; a majority of them are white, and the kind of non-racists who will happily root for a largely black league. The vast majority of them are politically conservative, and the few others are a-political.

And you want to talk about loyal? The Bears have sucked for a generation, but Chicago still supports them. Cleveland hasn’t been decent since Jim Brown was a teenager, and that town comes out in a snowstorm to watch a mathematically eliminated team play in a blizzard in the first week of December.

So what does the NFL do? They try to force whiny leftist politics down the throats of their rock-ribbed conservative audience! They dress their players in pink and deck them out in “stop breast cancer” gear.

Because as everybody knows, the top two causes of breast cancer are complicated blocking schemes and a blitzing defense, I guess? “Did you hear about Janice in accounting? She just had to have a double mastectomy.” “Oh no!” “Yep. Apparently she had a lot of exposure to pulling guards and trap blocks on stunting defensive ends, so…”

You have a chance to highlight a player like Tim Tebow – studly, telegenic, proudly Christian and patriotic. He does all kinds of charity work, including putting on prom events for disabled kids. He’s the closest thing to Jesus to ever put on cleats – if Jesus could bench four Mamdanis, each holding 100 pounds that they couldn’t lift by themselves.

So does the NFL brass thank their lucky stars and put Tebow on the cover of Madden 2011? No, they rend their garments and cry out, “Give us Barabbas! And by Barrabbas we mean America-hating, whitey-hating far-left problem-child Colin Kapernick!”

Then the league slathers the field with insulting sayings like “End Racism,” as if a bunch of white guys cheering for guys named (I’m not making these up) Barkevious Mingo, D’Brickashaw Ferguson, and Dontayvion Wicks need to be reminded not to be so racist.

And after all that…flamboyantly gay male cheerleaders.

Look, I’ve got nothing against gay guys. They bring a lot of panache to parades and drag shows, both of which I’m never going to, but you do you.

And I’ve got nothing against male cheerleaders. Back in the day, they were muscular straight guys who finagled their way into a job that required them to toss petite cuties over their heads and look up their skirts in broad daylight. For safety, or something.

So well-played, old-school male cheerleaders.

But these guys are not those guys. These guys are the Richard Simmons crossed with backup dancers for Lil’ Nas X type of guys. (I’ll take “Pop culture references that I’d never expect from Martin for a thousand, Alex.”)

And zero NFL fans want to see that!

Again, I’m not saying there’s not a place for those fellas. But I wouldn’t put them on an NFL sideline in hotpants, any more than I’d cast Dick Butkus or Bud Grant for next season’s Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. (I’ll take “Pop culture references that I would ABSOLUTELY expect from Martin for a thousand, Alex.”)

Which brings us to Cracker Barrel. Oh, Cracker Barrel. Another franchise that is not broken. So naturally, some woke doofi are intent on fixing it.

One of my extended family members manages a Cracker Barrel, and I’ve eaten at their restaurants quite a few times. Since I’ve lost some weight and am trying to maintain my professional-athlete-like physique, I don’t eat there as often as I used to.

But when I get a hankerin’ for 4000 calories-worth of French toast and sausage, or some chicken-fried chicken – or even just whenever I feel like going to a place where I can use the word “hankerin’” without a bunch of snooty AWFLs looking down their noses at me – I’ll enjoy a meal at Cracker Barrel.

But now they too have steered into the skid of “how can we remake ourselves into something that our customers will hate?” And I just don’t get it. They’ve seen what happened to Bud Light, and Jaguar, and a dozen others.

And yet they still said, “Hold my sweet tea, and watch this.” They took their familiar logo – which consisted of an old white guy sitting next to an old barrel – and they removed both the cracker and the barrel. And replaced them with a generic black-letters-on-orangish-background logo saying, “Cracker Barrel.”

Which looks like it could just as well say, “Dollar General.” Or “DeWalt Tools.” Or “Federated Waste Management.”

And after a brutal roll-out during which they’ve received 99% negative feedback, the corporate chieftains – none of whom I’m guessing could bait a hook, load a shotgun, or tell grits from Shinola – are sticking with their idiotic re-brand.

Seriously, THAT’s the hill they’ve decided to die on. “You can’t have your barrel, and we killed the old cracker! But get back in here and tolerate the new logo and the new décor. Because now is the time at Cracker Barrel ven ve donce, you in-bred hicks!”

Does that approach remind you of somebody?

Bud Light, Jaguar, the NFL, Cracker Barrel…. They’re all treating their customers the same way Democrats have been treating their voters for the last 4 years or so.

The voters say, “We want a secure border, and more cops on the beat, and no more dudes in women’s sports and locker-rooms, and lower inflation, and cheaper gas.”

And the Democrat bosses say, “Oh yeah? Well here’s a bunch of MS-13 gangbangers for your neighbors, and lawless streets, and Will Thomas is going to shower with your daughters and whip them in the pool, and you’ll eat $20 eggs and pay $6 for a gallon for gas, and you’ll LIKE IT! No crackers for you, and the barrel is empty! Now watch Dylan Mulvaney put on makeup and pretend to be aroused!! You in-bred hicks!”

I’m just a humble country English professor, and far from a marketing expert.

But I don’t think that’s going to work out so well for them.

Hamas delenda est!

Illnesses Aren’t Usually Funny… But TDS Is (posted 8/25/25)

When you think of illnesses, you don’t usually think “humorous,” because most diseases are obviously the farthest thing from funny. That being said, it’s a very human thing to find humor – usually dark humor – in all contexts, including those involving sickness and even death.

There are holocaust jokes, and ebola jokes. The late great Sam Kinison brought the house down with a bit about a crime wave carried out by gay necrophiliac rapists. (That one’s not for the squeamish.) Two of the Monty Python guys’ funniest bits were about amputation (the knight who loses one limb after another, but is undaunted, calling each horrific wound “just a scratch”) and death (the sketch about the parrot that John Cleese smacks against the pet store counter, pointing out that it’s “gone to join the choir invisible”).

So call me adorable but warped if you must – and I’ll be perfectly happy if I had you at just “adorable” – but I find a few illnesses inherently funny.

One of them is Tourette’s. Don’t get me wrong, I know that must be an agonizing condition to have, and God bless all of those who do.

But from the outside, it can be pretty funny, and so odd. I know that it is largely characterized by tics and nonsense sounds, but when it involves swearing or insulting comments shouted out randomly? That would be a young boy’s dream condition, and I’m surprised that more of them don’t try to get phony diagnoses, just so they can snap at their teachers or peers. “Bite me! Friend off! Schiff for brains!”

Tourette’s must not have been widely publicized in the 1970s, because if it had been, one of my friends or I would definitely have been the first diagnosed case in central Illinois, and junior high legends in our own time!

And what about the odd perversity that in a condition that involves shouting out a rapid string of words, why are those never positive, uplifting words? No sufferer ever snaps, “Have-a-nice-day!” or “God-bless-us-everyone!” It’s always, “Suck-it-Trebek!” or words to that effect.

There’s an even more rare condition in which someone who suffers a head injury suddenly begins to speak with a foreign accent. I’m not making that up. Some British lady gets hit by a cricket bat and suddenly sounds like Ghandi. Or maybe Grandma Squanto Warren falls over that desk during a congressional vote and pops up speaking fluent Apache. #Nda’íí’ nídéé’ nitsí’í’ nídéé’.

(Which is Apache for, “#Youmustneverstopmockingme”) (Because: research!)

Better yet, a Simpson-adjacent hillbilly in Appalachia takes a fastball to the noggin and starts speaking in a BBC/King’s English accent. Which would be hilarious, I don’t care who you are. Picture Henry Higgins doing Richard Burton as Hamlet saying something like, “Y’all’re fixin’ to get your butts whipped if I have to stop this car!”

But by far the most entertaining mental condition in America today is Trump Derangement Syndrome.

Sure, it’s a national irritant, and has brought a lot of heat and absolutely no light into our body politic. But Man oh Manischewitz, has it brought some top-shelf comedy onto the national stage!

When Trump was inaugurated in 2017, thousands of red-faced, blue-haired women in female genitalia hats screamed like a chorus of tone-deaf banshees throughout the ceremony, and they’ve been on the TDS Crazy Train ever since. Some have gone on a “sex strike,” vowing not to share their bodily charms with anyone who won’t denounce Trump and all his works.

(By the way, I think I can speak for all of the straight males in Christendom when I say, “Please accept the thanks of a grateful nation, ladies.”)

And the “males” – I use the word loosely – have been as bad as the females. A bunch of D-list celebrity Dem guys came out as “White Dudes for Kamala,” thus unleashing an epidemic of beta-male-induced feminine dryness that troubled gynecologists from coast to coast.

More recently, one sad fellow dressed like a non-binary golfer pictured himself as a brave non-conformist standing in front of a Chicom tank in Tiananmen Square…but he was just a doofus throwing his footlong sandwich at a federal agent.

And the “assault with a deli weapon” jokes wrote themselves. (Apparently the TDS-afflicted sandwich chucker was unaware that all law enforcement officers are equipped with hoagy-proof vests for just such an occasion.)

(Rumors that J(um)-B(o) Pritzker tried to enlist in ICE when he found out that officers routinely have sandwiches tossed at them have not been confirmed.)

When Trump engineered half a dozen cease fires and peace treaties, and tried to stop the war in Ukraine, a bunch of fossilized hippie peaceniks hit the streets behind walkers adorned with such pacifistic sentiments as, “We demand more Ukrainians be fed into the Russian meatgrinder!” and “Give war a chance!” while their tin-eared compatriots warbled, “War! (huh), what is it good for? Absolutely many things! (Say it again.)”

When Trump eliminated taxes on tips, TDS-suffering advocates for blue-collar wage slaves tweeted, “Tax the Working Class!” and “Pay Your Fair Share, Hourly Workers!”

When Trump took out the nuclear facilities of the homophobic weird-beards running Iran, gay leftist activist groups marched around the White House with signs reading, “We support the Mullahs!” and “Throw us off of Roofs!” while wearing t-shirts proclaiming, “Queers for Stoning Gays in Palestine!”

When Trump’s crackdown on crime in DC resulted in the confiscation of dozens of illegal guns, leftist gun-control fanatics marched on the capitol, chanting through bullhorns, “You can have our criminals’ guns when you can pry them from their cold, dead hands!” and “Charlton Heston is our president!”

If Trump gets interest rates down to 2%, they’ll cry, “Savers devastated by low returns on CDs!”

If he cures cancer, they’ll form the NAACT (National Association for the Advancement of Cancer Tumors), and trademark the chant, “What do we want? Metastasis! When do we want it? NOW!”

These people can’t be reasoned with. But they can be opposed. And they can sure as hell be laughed at.

Speaking of being laughed at, I thought that maybe Joy Reid – the most whitey-hating racist east of the Pecos – had disappeared from the earth after even MSNBC said she was too nutty for them. But no. She turned up on the podcast of somebody named Wajahat Ali, just to remind us how nice it is when she’s not here.

(If you’re wondering what Wajahat Ali is known for, other than having a first name that sounds like the cough of a dying man, your guess is as good as mine.)

Reid launched into another of her classic racist rants, this time covering topics such as how white folks “made this country into a slave hell,” and how they “can’t originally invent anything, more than they were ever able to invent good music. We black folks gave y’all country music, hip hop, R&B, jazz, rock and roll, they couldn’t even invent that.”

It’s tough to tell whether those thoughts are more stupid, or more evil.

They are definitely stupid. Because Reid spewed that garbage about whites not inventing anything into a microphone and a camera, and it was viewed on the internet…all 3 of which were invented by whitey. And because all significant social developments – whether bad or good – are inevitably the product of interactions among many ethnic groups and cultures.

Slavery, for example, originated when human society originated, and it was omnipresent in every powerful civilization in Asia, Europe, the Americas and Africa. The slave trade in the modern era involved Africans enslaving other Africans, and selling some of them to Europeans who took them mostly to the Americas, and more of them to Arabs who took them mostly to the Middle East.

It’s true that most slave owners in America – they were called “Democrats” – were white. But at the outbreak of the Civil War, 10,000 black slaves were owned by black masters, a fact that would curl the culturally-appropriated blonde hair on Joy Reid’s empty head, if she were to learn it. (Ironically for a person named “Reid,” she doesn’t seem to read a lot.)

The same cultural mixing is present in positive cultural phenomena, such as Reid’s example of music, especially when she talks about country music. Yes, the banjo was an African instrument, but the guitar was invented in Spain, the violin in Italy, the harmonica in China, the accordion in Germany. The yodel came from Alpine regions of Europe, and most early country music originated in folk songs in England, Scotland and Ireland, transplanted here by Scots-Irish hillbillies.

But in addition to the lying stupidity of Reid’s argument, her racial cheerleading is evil right down to the bone. Because every group obviously has good and bad in them. If white people want to take racial pride in Shakespeare, Adam Smith, and Ronald Reagan, they also have to be saddled with Hitler, Ted Bundy and Jim Acosta.

Smart black people don’t want to claim Idi Amin or Al Sharpton, but they want to claim Thomas Sowell and Clarence Thomas. Dumb black people want to claim Sharpton and Obama, but don’t want to claim Sowell or Thomas.

And NOBODY wants to claim Jussie Smollett, Whoopi Goldberg or Joy Reid.

But if I were going to play the ethno-centric cheerleading game – which, again, is stupid – I’d point to something that the Joy-less one somehow forgot in her illiterate screed about music: classical.

Classical is as white as hip hop is black, for example. (It’s not as white as Liz Warren, but almost. #neverstop) So if we were forced to pick teams in a racialist music draft, we’d happily take Beethoven, Mozart and Bach, and Joy could have Megan Thee Stallion, Cardi B and Lizzo.

Sure, “Baby Got Back” is fun, and “WAP” is a timeless treasure.

But if I’m betting on what’s going to stand the test of time, I’ll take “Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring” and “Ode to Joy,” and give her the points.

After all, nobody has ever written – or will ever write – an “Ode to Joy Reid.”

Hamas delenda est!

When it Comes to Crime, Many Democrat Chickens are Coming Home to Roost (posted 8/22/25)

I’ve been writing about crime a lot lately.

And I’m not done, because as I’ve said in earlier columns, crime – what causes it, how to punish it, how we should balance the rights of criminals vs. law-abiding citizens – is one of several key issues (along with taxation and how the courts should view the Constitution, maybe?) that most clearly distinguishes conservatives from liberals.

While I think there are weighty, even philosophical issues at stake re: crime – to what extent does free will play a role when people are brought up in a debased criminal environment; in what circumstances can rehabilitation work for some criminals – the vast majority of crime raises much more basic questions.

Questions like, “How stupid is the average criminal?” (Spoiler alert: Very, very stupid. Thankfully.) or “Why are nationally elected politicians, and especially Democrats, so comically inept at it?”

Taking the first question first, I can usually get some much-needed comic relief from the hilariously pathetic bungling of most criminals.

If you’re a regular reader, you’ll remember stories about dip-Schiffs who crawl under a car on a sloping driveway and use a rusty, wobbly bottle-jack to lift it so they can steal its catalytic converter…only for it to fall on them and crush their dumb arses.

Unexpectedly!

Or the stories about rappers who confess to their crimes in their terrible “music” videos, or post social media pictures of them flashing a stolen pistol with a clearly visible serial number on it.

Or the story about the rapper 4XTRA, who recorded a video flaunting his possession of illegal M1000 fireworks, and shortly after a brilliant monologue about his plans for them – “You think I won’t blow schiff up wit’ dese, my narwhal? Don’t friend with me, Imma blow a motherfriendin’ narwhal UP!” – that crazy narwhal blew two of his mother-friending fingers off.

(I’d say, “Cue the sad trombone,” but no rappers play the trombone. And I don’t think you can make a sad record-scratching sound on a turntable.)

In the movies, criminals are slick professionals. They create elaborate distractions to draw away the police, and devise multiple pre-planned escape routes. They wear disguises, and stash different clothing near the crime scene to change into. They have multiple sets of identification papers in various aliases, and they stay off law enforcement’s radar.

In real life, criminals get prison tattoos that advertise their gang affiliations and their past crimes, so that cops can recognize them from a block away. (“I’m a Gangster Disciple and I’ve killed 9 people, all of whose gang names I’ve inked on my body.”) Even before they go to prison, they get a prominent tattoo on their face or neck, so that if they’re ever in a line-up – spoiler alert: they will be! – they can be easily identified.

And it’s always something memorable, like “Born to Lose,” or “No Regerts!”

Movie criminals drive non-descript panel vans with a magnetic business sign and multiple sets of plates that can be quickly switched out, or else fast cars that they drive up a ramp into the back of a semi-truck, or a hidden garage within a mile of the scene of the crime.

Real criminals drive 100 pounds of meth and six illegals from the Texas border to New York in a car with two mis-matched doors, one working headlight and two broken taillights. And a gaudy adhesive memorial stretching across the rear window that says, “RIP Chuy! MS-13 Forever!” And they don’t have insurance or registration, but they do have an expired Guatemalan driver’s license.

And they speed and change lanes without signaling for the entire trip.

And their car is full of pot smoke, as if it were 1981 and they were Kilmar and Chong. Or possibly Cheech and Kilmar.

Sure, those mouth-breathing low-life criminals provide us some easy laughs. But what about the high-level masterminds, those who reach the peak of their profession, and should therefore have their criminal act together?

Nope! I give you three quick examples: New York Attorney General Letitia James, Federal Reserve Governor Lisa Cook, and CA Senator Adam Schiff.

On the surface, Tish James might appear to be fairly smart. She has three degrees, including a Master’s from Columbia and a JD, and she managed to get herself elected to multiple public offices, culminating in the top enforcer spot in New York state.

Alas, degrees are often not worth the paper they’re printed on, and the majority of voters in New York state are imbeciles. And Tish James is as dumb as a bag of hammers.

Because she publicly went after Donald Trump on flimsy charges that he had committed mortgage fraud. Other than wrongly listing a NYC penthouse of his as having 30,000 square feet when it was only 11,000 – an easily proven error on his part – her whole case came down to his valuation of Mar-A-Lago. He said it was worth a ton of money, and Tish said it was worth $28 dollars and an expired bus pass.

Yes, she managed to get a verdict against him from a transparently corrupt far-left judge, and a judgement for half a billion dollars, which was just thrown out by an appeals court as ridiculously excessive. The judgment itself will almost certainly be overturned too, because James’ valuation of Mar-A-Lago was laughably low; Deutsche Bank assessed Trump’s properties and net worth to be sufficient collateral for his loan; and he paid that loan back with interest.

But all of that is beside the point, because James made one of the most crucial blunders of morons: she falsely accused someone of doing what she was actually doing herself.

She claimed that Trump was able to get lower interest rates on his loans by lying about the property he was borrowing against. But she has a long history of doing exactly that, involving several mortgage applications and mortgages on which she perjured herself to receive preferable interest rates. Most brazenly, in August 2023 – when she was going after Trump – she lied on a mortgage application in Virginia, claiming that house as her principal residence when it was not, and when NY law required her to live in NY to be AG.

Lisa Cook made the same corrupt move. In the summer of 2021 she bought a home in Michigan by swearing on mortgage documents that it was her principal residence. Two weeks later, she bought a condo in Atlanta, claiming that IT was her principal residence. Unless it turns out that she has a third “principal residence” somewhere else, it looks like the Michigan place is her actual residence, since she is renting out her Atlanta condo.

Again, the brazen stupidity of her fraud is hard to understand. She’s a governor of the powerful Federal Reserve, which is charged with setting national interest rates that control mortgage rates, and she committed mortgage fraud?!

A masked crack head who robs a convenience store and then immediately removes his mask in front of a security camera is not acting any dumber than a mortgage regulator cheating on her mortgages!

Even better was her response when called on it. Here’s what an honest and innocent person would say:

“These charges are false. I did not lie on any mortgages, ever. I’m immediately releasing both of the mortgages and applications in question, and they prove that I didn’t claim both properties as my principal residence, which would be fraud. I demand an apology.”

Here’s her statement:

“I have no intention of being bullied to step down from my position because of some questions raised in a tweet. I take any legitimate inquiries about my financial background seriously and am compiling accurate information to address them.”

Really, Lisa? You’re “compiling accurate information?” That shouldn’t be hard, since all you’d have to do is hold up the second mortgage and application, and point to the many spots in the documents where you identified the Atlanta condo as NOT your principal residence, but a rental or a second home.

What’s that? That’s not what the documents show?

Keep compiling, sweetheart.

Finally we come to Adam Schiff, one of the sleaziest corrupticrats in Washington, DC.

Schiff did manage to avoid the temptation to get a tattoo of his nickname (“Pencil Neck”) inked onto…well, his pencil neck. But sadly, he was unable to resist the siren song of fraudulently obtained lower interest rates, just like Cook and James.

In 2003 Schiff bought a house in Maryland that he declared as his principal residence. In 2009, he bought a condo in CA, which he identified as his principal residence, and for which he took a homestead exemption on his CA state taxes. In 2020, after falsely claiming two principal residences for over a decade, he finally declared his Maryland house as his second residence.

Last month, a Fannie Mae financial crimes investigation concluded that Schiff had engaged in “a sustained pattern of possible occupancy misrepresentation” on five Fannie Mae loans over the years.

I don’t know what that “possible” is doing in there, because you can’t have two “principal residences,” and he clearly claimed that he did.

To top it off, the DOJ has now found that he’s been paying a 3% interest rate on both properties, well below any legitimate second home mortgage rate at any time when he financed or refinanced both properties.

Did I mention that he also failed to disclose his mortgages on required annual financial disclosure forms until 2011? Or that he’s now accused of wire fraud, mail fraud, bank fraud and making false statements to financial institutions?

If I did, it’s only because it’s hard to make all of those points when you’re giggling uncontrollably.

Looking back, Tish James ran for AG on a repeated promise to get Trump, and when she’d gotten her corrupt judgment against him, she gloated about how she was looking forward to foreclosing on Trump Tower and Mar-A-Lago and everything else Trump owns. And with the possible exception of James, nobody cut more ethical corners in pursuit of Trump than Schiff did.

I guess it’s true what they say – it’s always the ones you most suspect.

Ironically, the one truthful thing that Pencil Neck and Tish James said over the last several years – and they said it a lot! – might now be coming back to haunt them:

“No one is above the law!”

In the words of Nelson Muntz…

HA HA!

Hamas delenda est!

Red and Blue See Crime & Punishment Very Differently (posted 8/18/25)

In recent decades, attitudes toward crime from the right and the left have diverged, not because the GOP has moved a lot, but because the Dems have raced to their extreme left.

Conservatives have always been enthusiastic about law and order, and prone to more vigorous law enforcement, and it’s no coincidence that red states are the ones who allow the death penalty. The attitude of many conservatives has been parodied as, “If you kill someone in a red state, we’ll kill you back.”

And most of us don’t mind that jibe one bit.

While old-school Dems also wanted to live in crime-free communities, their approach to the justice system was heavy on the rehabilitation and light on the punishment. They had some good points, and for prisoners who were willing to make changes in their lives and rehabilitate themselves, some good came out of that approach. But nobody can say the results weren’t mixed, at best.

However, conservatives’ attitudes toward law enforcement have also been complicated, due to our instinctive skepticism about the encroachments of the power-hungry State. Tensions were brought to the fore during covid, when conservatives in blue states had repeated and increasingly contentious run-ins with states who quickly instituted draconian restrictions, and then held onto them like grim Pelosi.

Sorry, that’s “grim death.”

Most blue states imposed mandatory lock-downs, mandatory school and business closings, mandatory masking, and Rube Goldberg rules about everything. You had to wear a mask on a plane, but the airline served snacks…which you could eat by lowering your mask…but only for long enough to stuff some snacks into your mouth. After which you should yank your mask back up, so you could aspirate a mouthful of peanuts and choke your way to a covid-less death. Hooray for science!

You had to stay 6 feet apart, and could only occupy some buildings at 25% capacity – two numbers that were plucked out of thin air, and meant nothing.

California filled skate parks with sand…because young kids who were at no risk from the virus needed to be prevented from getting fresh air and exercise, lest they be slain by the virus that was no threat to them in the first place.

California also arrested a guy who was paddle boarding. Alone. In the ocean.

So normally pro-law-enforcement conservatives became scofflaws during Covid. Most of them will explain the contrast by drawing a distinction between laws – which we support pretty enthusiastically – and regulations – some of which are reasonable…but not many.

Traditional Democrats/leftists have usually been much more fond of regulations in general – they love to tell you what kinds of toilets or light bulbs or cars you may buy, and (recently) that you ladies must allow a creepy dude to watch you shower, while he levitates a towel in front of him without the use of his hands.

And you are legally required to call him “Crystal.”

What has changed lately is that what had been the extreme fringe of the left has wrested away control of the Democrat party. They have not just energetically piled into the lefty clown car, they’re now driving it!

Consider the dramatic changes in just the last several decades. In the early 1990s, Daniel Patrick Moynihan famously coined the phrase “defining deviancy down,” by which he meant permissively normalizing bad behaviors. Some of those were social – removing the stigma from out-of-wedlock births, allowing “social promotion” of under-performing students in schools – but many involved the greater acceptance of criminal behavior.

Think about that. Not that long ago – not in Pilgrim America, or Victorian England, but when Kurt Cobain was still alive! – one of the most influential Dems could write an essay calling for more stringent enforcement of traditional social and legal norms, and get a respectful hearing and a lot of support from elected and influential lefties all over the country.

Today, that world seems as dead and gone as Julius Caesar, or Joe Biden.

The dominant far-left – the group who cheers on the murder of a CEO by a trust-fund coward, who will elect Commie Mamdani in NYC, and who has stage-four TDS – has lost its ethical moorings when it comes to crime. They’ll ignore and deny that crime is happening, and dare you to disagree.

Baltimore and New York City are as safe as Pennsylvania Dutch country during Amish-Fest. Publicly defecating meth-enthusiasts in San Francisco are “outdoorsmen.” Shambling armies of mentally ill addicts living in filthy tents all over LA and Seattle and Portland are “urban campers.” Brother’s-widow-jumping addict Hunter Biden is “the smartest person I know.”

Nearly a century ago, four gunmen killed seven rival gangsters in Chicago in the still-infamous “St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.” Today, seven Chicagoans are killed every other weekend, and it barely makes the papers. And if you do notice it, Mayor Brandon will call you a racist.

Even worse, lefty pols and media actively excuse the most brutal acts if they’re perpetrated by one of their pet victim groups. The half-dozen black criminals who beat and stomped three defenseless middle-aged white folks in Cincinnati were defended by a black elected official on racial solidarity grounds, and by a black police official because the video you watched “lacked context.”

There is a silver lining in this mess, though, because the legacy media’s ridiculous crime coverage is giving them even more opportunities to discredit themselves. They’ve already greatly decreased their ability to harm their enemies and help their friends. Accusations of racism used to end careers; now they elicit mostly eye rolls. Reports that some leftist project is succeeding or some rightist action is bringing about the apocalypse are both greeted with instinctive skepticism or outright disbelief.

And the Left’s doubling down on crime is putting them even more behind the 8-ball. Trump’s move into DC has maneuvered them into insisting that DC is super safe, and the residents there resent law enforcement coming in and ham-handedly arresting all of the violent criminals who weren’t really there, and confiscating all the illegally-owned guns that don’t exist. Or something.

The infamous covid-era “mostly peaceful protests” (spoken by a leftist reporter in front of a block full of burning buildings) has now got two new contenders in dishonest cluelessness. The first was CNN empty head Erin Burnett’s idiotic description of the whacko who killed three people in NYC a couple of weeks ago: “male, mustache, sunglasses, possibly white.”

Burnett immediately became a laughingstock, because viewers could see a picture in real time of the killer walking into the building while carrying a rifle. Burnett was referencing that picture, and she got the male, facial hair, and sunglasses parts right.

But that guy was as white as Liz Warren is Cherokee. (#wemustneverstopmockingher)

The sunglasses hid his eyes – which in subsequently released pics had an Asian look to them – but he was clearly black, and it wasn’t a close call. He had a short Afro, and he looked like if John Shaft and Billy Dee Williams had had a baby.

By the way, this just in from Cincinnati: Seven people have been arrested in the beatings, and they include a Montianez, a Jermaine, a Dekyra, a Dominique, and an Aisha.

Or, as Erin Burnett would put it, “they’re all possibly white.”

The second contender in the leftist cover-up sweepstakes comes to us from New Jersey, courtesy of a “journalist” named Dana DiFilippo. Dana was covering the story of an illegal alien named Raul Luna-Perez, who was picked up for DWI three times in four months. The third time, he caused a wreck that killed a woman and her daughter.

So Perez is an illegal who could have been detained and deported just for that. And he should have been arrested, detained, convicted and eventually deported for either of his first two DWIs. But it’s a blue state, so he was able to go for the drunk driving hat-trick, and kill two innocent people. But at least he was jailed and held for trial and eventual deportation then, right?

Have you not been paying attention? Blue state. Leftist judge.

So he was released pending his trial. (Fortunately, Biden and Que Mala lost last November, so he was quickly picked up by ICE, and is no longer on our streets.)

So how did Dana cover this story? First, she called Perez an “undocumented immigrant.” Because of course she did.

Then she said that he was “at the center of an immigration fight between Trump and NJ’s Governor.” Nice use of the passive voice there. He’s not an illegal immigrant serial drunk-driving killer. He’s just caught up in a fight between Bad Orange Man and NJ governor of indeterminate political persuasion.

But the part of her one-paragraph post that caused Dana to quickly delete her entire X account and flee into the night came next, when she claimed that Perez “had a largely clean driving record, despite prior DUI arrests.”

Let that sink in.

Wouldn’t Dana make a great defense lawyer?

“Your Honor, members of the jury, my client Mr. Bundy has met literally THOUSANDS of women in his lifetime, and he’s accused of murdering no more than a few dozen of them, tops. I’d call that a largely clean dating record. I rest my case.”

Ugh. We don’t hate the media enough, people.

But we’re getting there.

Hamas delenda est!

Correction re: Mamdani, the MSM Love Hezbollah & Hate DeSantis (posted 8/15/15)

Okay, so I made a mistake in Wednesday’s column about Commie Mamdani and his campaign to give the benighted voters of NYC what they are asking for, good and hard, and sans lubrication.

I mistakenly said that he was born in Ghana, when he was actually born in Uganda.

In my defense, both of those names share many of the same letters. Also, I’m not totally convinced that they are actual countries, and if they are, I’m guessing that they are very similar. I mean, it’s not like I said he was born in Switzerland, when he was born in Uganda.

(“Martin,” nobody is asking, “is that a fine Ugandan timepiece you’re wearing on your wrist, as you savor that decadent Ugandan chocolate?” And I am not replying, “Remember when that Swiss leader ate that guy from a rival canton just a few short decades ago?”)

Still, I can’t just go around making mistakes, like a mere mortal. So I hereby confess my error, take full responsibility, and ask that in case the Nobel committee was contemplating awarding me one of their prizes for Wednesday’s column – which in a sane world they would be – they hold off on that. At least until they can read some of my upcoming Nobel-worth columns.

Now if only we could get the WAPO and NY Times to do their own mea culpa, and return the Pulitzers they gave themselves for getting the Russia collusion hoax story wrong, and the “Hunter’s laptop is Russian disinfo” story wrong, and the “Joe Biden is a cognitive marvel, and fully prepared to serve another term” story wrong, and…

Today I’ve got several “we don’t hate the media enough” stories for you, starting with the AP, which published a story last week that cast the Hezbollah terrorists on the receiving end of Israel’s amazing pager attack as sympathetic victims.

To be fair, the story did admit that even Hezbollah “acknowledged that most of those wounded and killed were its fighters and personnel.” Nevertheless, the story interviews six survivors, five of whom – if we can trust the writers even on this point – are anomalies and exceptions: two women, two children, and one “preacher,” in addition to an admitted “fighter.” (I’m guessing that the preacher wasn’t preaching the Gospel, or the Torah, or the teachings of the Dalai Lama.)

The fighter is presented in a shocking image, with his disturbing-looking glass eye. (He’d be much better off wearing an eye patch, but since Israeli badass Moshe Dayan wore one of those after losing an eye in battle, the Hezbollah Jew-hater probably wouldn’t wear one, just out of spite.)

(By the way, “Moshe Dayan” is probably Hebrew for “Uncle Bob,” for all I know.)

The story details the one-eyed terrorist’s wounds, noting that “he can no longer play football.” If they were striving for accuracy, they would have followed that with, “Of course, he could never have played football anyway, because he lives in a backward society that only plays soccer.”

There are horrible pictures of the wounds of both women and a 12-year-old boy, and heartstring-tugging descriptions of the gory details.

But the story is at least minimally honest enough to tangentially reveal the real problems with these people it so badly wants us to sympathize with. Both women and the fighter are pictured with images – on their walls or on their phones – of Hassan Nasrallah, the Hezbollah terrorist who died in a big, beautiful Israeli strike, surrounded by terrorist commanders. One woman has spoken at Hezbollah religious gatherings to boost morale, and the 12-year-old boy is a member of the Hezbollah scouts (think: Hitler Youth for Arab jihadis).

The key sentences were mentioned early on, and in passing: “The survivors expressed ongoing support for Hezbollah but acknowledged the security breach. They blamed Israel for their wounds.”

Because of course they did.

This is why you can’t have nice things, “Palestinians.” Your heroes tortured, raped and murdered helpless Israeli men, women and children, and after you reaped just a small portion of what you have sown, you still think of yourself as victims, support the killers, and hate the Jews.

Good luck with all that.

Not content to let the AP hog all of the pro-terrorist propaganda glory, other legacy media rags jumped on a different slanderous story out of Gaza. This was the tale of an Israeli air strike that killed a “journalist” named Anas (and if you noticed that that name is only one vowel off, you’re right) al-Sharif. One outlet after another led with claims that al-Sharif was a journalist, and only noted later that the IDF “alleged” that he was a member of Hamas.

PBS and NPR – man, am I glad that we just cut off their taxpayer funding! – both took that tack. NPR said that “press advocates described [al-Sharif’s death] as retribution against those documenting the war in Gaza.” (If by “documenting” you mean “propagandizing about.”) They then reported that the IDF said that al-Sharif was a Hamas fighter, “an allegation that Al Jazeera and al-Sharif had previously dismissed as baseless.”

Shocking!

By the way, if I were a PR rep for the IDF, I would have headlined my press release, “We shot the Sharif, but we did not shoot a journalist.” (Hat tip to Bob Marley.)

Newsweek – which I was surprised to find is still a thing that exists – was typical of the biased MSM approach. They didn’t just present al-Sharif’s identity as a “he said/they said” story; they took sides by calling him a journalist, and then skeptically reporting the IDF’s “allegations.” But as you read their own story, you see that the only evidence they cite for al-Sharif NOT being a Hamasnik is the denials from his side.

Meanwhile, they start clearing their throat and trying to hurry past the IDF’s claims and evidence, as you will see in this accurate re-enactment, made of actual details from the Newsweek story:

IDF spokesman: Al-Sharif served as the head of a terrorist cell in the Hamas terrorist organization that was responsible for advancing rocket attacks against Israeli civilians and IDF troops.

Multiply-pierced Columbia Undergrad (MPCU) wearing a keffiyeh: Well, anyone can claim somebody is in Hamas, but if that were true, wouldn’t they have military documents to back that up? Huh? Wouldn’t they? I mean, if he were really—

IDF spokesman: Here are Hamas documents showing that al-Sharif was a member, includ—

MPCU: Yeah, right! If those docs were legit, they’d list his rank, salary and military ID number!

IDF spokesman: Let me finish. …including his rank, salary, and military ID number.

MPCU: Crap!

IDF: We also have a Hamas injury report for al-Sharif from 2017.

MPCU: Oh, come on! If you had a report like that, you’d have to know which specific battalion he was from. Which you don’t.

IDF: As a matter of fact, it’s right here. He was a member of the Hamas East Jabaliya Battalion.

MPCU: Oy vey.

IDF: What did you say?

MPCU (panicking): I mean, oh crap! (He dabs at some sweat with his keffiyeh.) Look, it’s easy enough to make wild allegations about some anonymous, low-level foot soldier. I mean, it’s not like you’ve got a picture of him being hugged by and shaking hands with late Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar in a ballroom filled with Hamas big shots.

IDF: It’s funny you mention that…

MPCU: Oh, crap…

IDF: …because if you’ll look at the screen behind me, you’ll see a picture of Anus al-Sharif being hugged by and shaking hands with late Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar in a ballroom full of Hamas big shots.

MPCU (face-palming himself and muttering): His name is “Anas.”

IDF: Is it, though?

And, scene.

Finally, you’ve probably seen the domestic story that gave the pro-Hamas MSM a run for their money, bias-wise: the Daily Beast piece that ran under the title, “Veterans Beg Ron DeSantis to Stop Killing Them.”

You read that right. Veteran Ron DeSantis has apparently gone rogue, and is now murdering veterans in Florida! If you don’t believe me, read the first sentence of the story: “Ron DeSantis is under fire for turning against his fellow service members and letting executioners slaughter five veterans this year alone.”

Good lord! Are these gangland executions, or possibly some kind of barbaric “feed them to the dinosaurs” type killings you might hear about at Alligator Alcatraz?

Nope. The next paragraph mentions that Florida carries out the death penalty by either lethal injections or the electric chair, and the truth begins to come out.

This left-wing hack writer is talking about people who were once in the military, but who then pursued an exciting second career in beating, raping and murdering people. One of them – Bobby Joe Long – was a serial rapist and killer with at least 12 victims on his record, though the writer doesn’t mention that.

The story is so transparently ridiculous that it was quickly ratioed into oblivion. And DeSantis’ Comms director, when asked for comment, administered the verbal gut punch perfectly, saying “A simple trick to avoid execution in Florida is to not murder people.”

That sounds just crazy enough to work!

Ugh! We truly don’t hate the media enough.

But the good news is that they’re not getting away with it anymore. Their ratings are terrible, their audiences are shrinking, and the only ones who take them seriously are the far-left, ineducable, dead-end partisans.

The legacy media has worked long and hard to ruin their reputations, and they are now reaping the fruits of their labors.

Unexpectedly!

Hamas delenda est!

The Hypocrisy of Mamdani, and the Flight of the Texas Democrats (posted 8/13/25)

You may have noticed that the Democrats have recently upped their game when it comes to hypocrisy. You could say that they’re here to drink kale smoothies and be hypocrites, and they’re all out of kale smoothies.

Let’s start in New York City, where the logic-challenged voting base of Manhattan masochists continues to rush headlong into the electoral nightmare of a Commie Mamdani administration. In addition to being a rabid Jew-hater, Mamdani is the kind of economic ignoramus who thinks that grocery stores – which have about the skinniest profit margins of any business – are “gouging” New Yorkers, and the solution is to have the city government run them.

Get ready for the grand opening of dozens of city-run outlets of the “Empty-Shelves-R-Us” franchise!

Like most high-profile, power-hungry socialists, Mamdani is a spoiled rich kid cosplaying as a working-class hero. Which is pretty tough to pull off when you’ve never had a real job in your life.

You probably heard about Zohran’s lavish wedding in a luxury compound in Ghana, where he was surrounded by extensive security, including devices to jam cell signals during the ceremony. I’m no expert on the Ghanian telecommunications system, but I’m pretty sure that Gha Bell (Ghana’s version of Ma Bell, duh!) consists mostly of hollowed-out coconut halves connected with strings.

So using high-tech cell-signal-jammers seems like over-kill, doesn’t it?

Though Zohran is totally lacking in real-world and governing experience, he’s already hit for a leftist hypocrisy hat trick:

1. After years of calling for defunding the police, he recently laid out $34K (of mommy and daddy’s money, I’m guessing) on AS&I. No, not “Arseholery, Smugness and Incompetence,” though that was a great guess, and a fine Democrat slogan for the ’26 mid-term elections. It’s “Advanced Security and Investigations,” a private security firm that will give him the kind of protection that New Yorkers will most definitely NOT be getting from the former NYPD cops who are now all down in Florida protecting Mar-A-Lago and CO’s equally lavish world HQ.

2. Despite his unearned wealth, Zohran lives in a rent-controlled apartment, an archetypal, chef’s-kiss-perfect betrayal of all the New Yorkers struggling to find affordable housing. Because if there’s one thing a trust-fund kid who’s about to decimate the NYC housing market needs, it’s a subsidy from the saps who vote for him.

3. When Zohran was applying to college, he had to identify his ethnicity on paperwork. His mom is Indian, and his dad is Indian. (Not F-Troop Indians like Grandma Squanto Warren – #mustweeverstopmockingher? #Ithinknot – but India Indian.) So the only sane and honest answer was “Indian.”

But the DEI religion looks down on Indians, because they are generally successful. And we can’t have that. So Zero/Zohran checked the box for “Black or African American.” Because he was born in an African country, and lived there for a few years as an infant.

You know, the same way that if you had been born in Australia, you’d check the box indicating that you identify as “koala or arboreal marsupial” on your Columbia application.

Boy, New York voters will have no excuse if they vote for this jerk in November. Because he is an open book.

And that book is a mash-up of “The Communist Manifesto” and “Mein Kampf.”

Speaking of the Albino Apache Liz Warren (#neverstop), she naturally endorsed Mamdani, giving him a tip of the headdress, from one phony to another. The NY Post had the perfect headline when Warren and Mamdani talked before the endorsement: “African American Meets Native American.”

Because I am basically a grown 8^th grader, I also enjoyed when she was hanging around in the House chambers and leaned back on a desk, which then fell over, dumping her dishonest butt to the floor.

She tried to cover up the gaffe, but nobody believed her excuse that she was just putting her ear to the ground to see if she could detect any nearby buffalo herds that might be stampeding.

But my favorite example of Democrat hypocrisy lately has been their kabuki theatre outrage about the evils of gerrymandering.

A few weeks ago, Ron DeSantis (peace be upon him) won a three-year court battle when the state Supreme Court upheld his 2022 redistricting map that cemented the redness of this red state after years of GOP gains. Several other red states – Missouri and Indiana among them – are considering redistricting too, following in the footsteps of Texas, where Governor Gregg Abbott is pushing a new map that could give the GOP 5 more House seats.

In the past, the left made the term “gerrymandering” a feared accusation, at least among RINOs and other political invertebrates so spineless that they wouldn’t even take their own side in an argument. But one happy result of last November – among many – was that Trump’s victory gave many in the GOP a spine, and then instilled some steel in it. Hence Abbott’s plan.

Hilariously, the strategy of Texas elected Democrats was to take arms against a sea of troubles by…running away to Illinois, to deny a quorum that would allow the Texas legislature to pass their redrawn congressional map.

On the one hand, the decision by several dozen Texan Dems’ to flee to Illinois was a smart one. Because if the FBI came looking for them, they could all escape detection by hiding behind J.B. Pritzker (D-irigible).

On the other hand, it was incredibly stupid, since Illinois is arguably the most corruptly gerrymandered state in the union, and only highlighted their hypocrisy. In fact, many of the bluest states – IL, CA, NY, NJ, MA, etc. – have already been so heavily gerrymandered that even after Texas’ new map passes, it will STILL be less lopsided than the Dems’ current maps.

And that reality made national Dems even more of a laughingstock when they threatened to re-draw their own districts to cancel out Texas’ efforts. Because the briefest glance at their maps showed how much they’ve already used the tactic that they’re now pretending to be so offended by.

For example, Trump got 44% of the vote in Illinois, but the GOP only holds 18% of the House seats there. He got 40% in CA, where the GOP holds only 21% of House seats. And in MA, where Trump won 36% of the vote, the GOP holds zero House seats! Those numbers attest to how aggressively the Dems have worked to thwart democratically representative state maps, all the while stroking themselves over how they are righteous fighters to “save our democracy!”

And now the GOP is beginning to fight fire with fire. (And you know how much that terrifies Imhotep Pelosi, since her burial wrappings are so flammable that she’ll go up like a desiccated Roman candle. Or Egyptian candle, I guess.)

The irony and schadenfreude are delicious! The very fact that Republicans have played the game more “fairly” in the past is what gives them the chance to gain so many seats now. Ben Shapiro gave some raw numbers yesterday: there are 67 Democrat House representatives from red states, vs only 39 GOP reps from blue states. Those 39 GOP congressmen are likely the bare minimum number that can be produced given how many GOP voters there are in the country – what are MA Dems going to do, reduce their GOP members from zero to a negative number?! – while a decent amount of those 67 Democrat red-state congress-weasels can likely be gerrymandered right out of their seats.

Additionally, Trump’s idea of re-doing the 2020 census now is a great example of the way he’s been leaning forward, and winning battles that past GOP presidents have been too squeamish to fight. The Census Bureau has admitted that it under-counted many red state populations in the 2020 census, and the numbers show that red states would have at least 5 more electoral votes right now if that count had been accurate.

Knowing that, why should we have to wait 10 years – which would span 5 congressional and 2 presidential elections – to correct that error?

Yes, sure, the census is traditionally only done once per decade. But have I mentioned what hypocrites the Democrats are?

Because you know what else also used to be traditional? Just off the top of my head…

Requiring a filibuster-proof majority to approve federal judges…which Harry Reid and the Dems did away with in 2013.

And not jailing opposition party members when they defied a congressional subpoena…as the GOP declined to do when Eric “Steadman” Holder and Lois Lerner both defied legitimate subpoenas during Trump’s first term. The Dems returned the favor by jailing both Steve Bannon and Peter Navarro based on much less serious subpoenas just a few years later.

And not having their own partisan local judges launch a flurry of illegitimate rulings to thwart the opposition’s president.

And not using the legal system with some bogus lawfare attacks on your political opponent.

I could go on and on. But this taste of bile in my throat is quite unpleasant.

This just in: as I was writing this, I saw the headline that the Texas Dems have announced that they are returning to Texas. But they want us to know that their tails between their legs are not a sign that they lost. They are declaring victory, because “they accomplished their mission by raising national awareness about the mid-decade redistricting effort.”

Yes. You made fools of yourselves, thus raising awareness of how foolish you all are.

So what have we learned today? Only what we already knew: the Democrats have completed the FA portion of their national partisan gamesmanship, and they’ve now entered the FO phase.

The political landscape is littered with the Dems’ petards, and it’s time to start hoisting them.

Or, as Uncle Bob would say, “The barn is smoking and the tractor tires are on fire. Let’s go!”

Hamas delenda est!

Author: martinsimpsonwriting

A Few Thoughts on What Motivates the Dems (posted 9/3/25)

Rosie and Jen Psaki Beclown Themselves Over the Minneapolis Killer (posted 9/1/25)

My Strategy For Not Letting Politics Turn You Into an Idiot (posted 8/28/25)

How To Destroy Your Business (posted 8/27/25)

Illnesses Aren’t Usually Funny… But TDS Is (posted 8/25/25)

When it Comes to Crime, Many Democrat Chickens are Coming Home to Roost (posted 8/22/25)

Red and Blue See Crime & Punishment Very Differently (posted 8/18/25)

Correction re: Mamdani, the MSM Love Hezbollah & Hate DeSantis (posted 8/15/15)

The Hypocrisy of Mamdani, and the Flight of the Texas Democrats (posted 8/13/25)

More Uncle Bob Stories (posted 8/11/25)