After only two weeks of watching the Democrat senators’ questioning of Trump’s cabinet nominees, I’m beginning to suspect that many Dem senators are undercover “plants.” How else can you explain the self-discrediting buffoonery of Sheldon Whitehouse, Grandma Squanto, Ron Wyden, Amy Klobuchar, Bernie Sanders, Dick “nobody calls him Richard” Durbin and Richard “everyone secretly calls him Dick” Blumenthal et al?
Seriously. Just like Hezbollah terrorists were tricked into blowing themselves up by giving them pagers, these knuckleheads were tricked into blowing their credibility up by giving them microphones.
Dick Blumenthal is the most famous “stolen valor” perpetrator in DC, having lied about serving in Vietnam. So sure, have him question the military qualifications of decorated combat veteran Pete Hegseth.
Ron Wyden has a waxy, unhealthy appearance that is truly tough to look at. So sure, have him tout his expertise about health to attack RFK Jr.
Sheldon Whitehouse is named “Sheldon,” and he deserves it. He’s the Ted Baxter of the Senate: nice, full head of white hair, on top of an empty, bloviating head.
I loved his tone-deaf arrogance when he confronted Kash Patel with a mangled quote of his, demanding to know, “Is that what you said?” When Patel said, “That’s completely incorrect, and I appreciate the opportunity to address that—” Sheldon interrupted with, “I’ll give you opportunity, in writing, but this is my time now!”
Good lord! You’re supposed to be asking nominees questions in order to elicit their answers! If you were just going to spit out some slander so that he can write you back later, what are you even doing here?
I wish Patel would have just pulled out his phone and started checking out websites. Then when Sheldy objected, he could say, “Since I’m not allowed to respond, I’m going to let you have your time, while I check out the latest beating you’re taking in the comments section on “Sheldonisadouchebag.com”
It got so bad that the dimwit senators were repeatedly being laughed at. Who had, “An octogenarian socialist senator will angrily grill a grown cabinet nominee to renounce the message on an infant’s onesie!” on their confirmation bingo card?
The male senators made male viewers cringe, and the females did no favors for their pet cause of identity politics. Amy Klobuchar waxed hysterical and grilled a guy without listening to him, and Grandma Squanto gave RFK her most grating “school marm on the warpath” impression. #wemustneverstopmockingher
By the way, a CNN headline on Thursday read, “Trump’s Cabinet nominees face sharpest grilling to date.” “Sharpest?” Really? Nobody has ever associated “sharp” with anybody in this lineup.
In the end, of course, this kind of performative, narcissistic grandstanding is not going to persuade anybody. The Dems could have used their opportunity to ask probing questions that might prompt substantive answers that could potentially catch nominees in inconsistencies or flaws in their thinking.
Instead, they demonstrated that they’ve learned nothing from the electoral whipping they took in November. They doubled down on amateurishly misleading accusations in lieu of questions, and childish cries of, “January 6th!” and “Orange Hitler!” All of which can only remind most Americans of why they gave the GOP congress and the White House.
But it wasn’t only the Dems in the confirmation hearings who were playing the fool. Because outside of DC, Tom “Yippee-ki-Yay MFer” Homan was doing God’s work – rounding up foreign criminals to make our streets safer. But as usual, some leftist dullards opposed him.
This time the fight was in Illinois, where two US Secret Service agents went to a Chicago elementary school to investigate a threat that had been made on Tiktok. There they introduced themselves to staff as Secret Service agents, and showed ID, but were not allowed entry to the school.
Soon afterwards, Chicago Public Schools CEO Pedro Martinez (who is doing a bang-up job, considering the near zero per cent of Chicago public school students who can read, write or do math at grade level) went on MSNBC to falsely claim that ICE agents went to the school to detain illegal immigrant children.
Because of course he did.
Upon hearing that, Governor Pritzker (#putdownthatcomicallyoversizedturkeyleg) waddled into action, typing out the following tweet with his creepy, sausage fingers: “After a week of Republicans sowing fear and chaos, the first reports of raids in Chicago are at an elementary school. Targeting children and separating families is cruel and un-American.”
So is allowing hordes of foreign criminals to prey on your citizens, and lying about it. And also, scarfing down an amount of food in one day that could have been used to provide lunches for all the children in a large Chicago school for a month.
When Homan heard about Pritzker’s error, he went on Fox News to point out that Pritzker was the one who terrified the community by repeating a lie which he could easily have checked out first.
He also mentioned that Pedro “Sherlock” Martinez could have used all of his powers of deduction to solve “The Case of the Phantom Ice Agents.” Step one would have been to talk to the school officials, who would have told him that Secret Service agents who identified themselves as Secret Service agents – and who left their cards which identified them as… wait for it… Secret Service agents! – had come to the school.
Then, after filling several white boards with detailed notes and calculations, he could have arrived at the conclusion that these were NOT Ice Agents at all!
But nope. Brainiac Martinez apparently graduated from a Chicago public school, so he reads at an AOC level. And when he was trying to sound out “secret service,” he recognized the last three letters as “I – C – E.” And off he ran to MSNBC.
Homan said that Pritzker needs to give ICE an apology, but he probably shouldn’t get his hopes up. Because even if Pritzker had the decency to apologize, there’s no way you’re going to understand a guy talking with his mouth that full.
Have a good weekend, and brace yourself for even more winning!
Martin Simpson 