Okay dammit, I’ve got a few more thoughts on Minneapolis before I move on.
I swear I’m trying so hard not to write about Minnesota in every column, but much like Michael Corleone in the terrible third Godfather movie, “Just when I think I’m out, they pull me back in.”
Or, to paraphrase, they are really flooding the zone with stupid, and I can’t avoid at least pointing that out in passing.
On Wednesday night, violent a-holes in Minneapolis attacked ANOTHER ICE agent.
Unexpectedly!
This time the bad guy was an illegal who fled in his car, wrecked that, and then fled on foot. When the agent caught up to him, he turned and fought. When two other illegals in a nearby apartment saw what was going on, they charged out with a snow shovel and a broom handle, and started beating the ICE agent. The illegal target then grabbed the shovel, and started beating the ICE agent.
Then – FINALLY! – the ICE agent shot the guy in the leg. After which all three illegals went back into the apartment and barricaded themselves inside. More ICE agents arrived and ended up getting them out and arresting all three of them.
That’s what happened.
Here’s the NYT lede for that story: “Federal Agent Shoots Immigrant in the Leg in Minneapolis, one week after an ICE officer killed Renee Good in city.”
No mention that the “immigrant” was an ILLEGAL. No mention that the illegal was fighting with the agent, or that two other illegals joined in that fight. Just an agent, going around shooting immigrants.
A freshman writing for his high school paper could fix that headline: “Illegal Attacks ICE Agent, gets shot, one week after Renee Good hit ICE agent with her car, got shot.”
Say it with me, people: We don’t hate the media enough!
Also, I noticed something in this story that I haven’t seen anyone comment on: the agent actually shot the illegal in the leg.
Ignorant lefties who have watched too much tv and don’t know a gun from a gunny sack are always asking, “Why don’t police just shoot a suspect in the leg?” And now, when an ICE agent actually did that, the left is still whine-screaming about it. You just can’t please some people.
On the other hand, you can definitely please other people, like me, and (I’m guessing) most of you reading this right now. Because if the ICE agents start listening to us, the next time three illegals bring a shovel, a broom handle and their fists to a gunfight, we will be very pleased indeed if the ICE agents will shoot them. And not just in the leg, and not just once.
Meanwhile, a new fraud story came out of Minneapolis yesterday, and you’ll be shocked to learn that those damn Swedes are at it again.
HA! I kid. It’s the Somalis. Because of course it is.
It turns out that $700 million dollars in cash has been sent back to Somali through the Minneapolis Airport over the last 2 years. And that’s only the amount that was “flagged,” which I’m guessing means that the money was disclosed or found, but then still allowed to be shipped out.
I’m also guessing that that money was way less than the full amount sent out, unknown and unflagged. The story notes that that much cash, if it was all in $100 bills, would weigh 7.7 metric tons. Through one airport!
This phenomenon needs to be considered in context of two other recent discoveries: the $8 billion dollars of fraud (at least!) committed by Somalis in Minnesota, and the official stats from the Center for Immigration Studies that as of December 2025, 81% of Somali households in Minnesota are on welfare.
Rumors that the other 19% own daycares have not been confirmed.
But c’mon, man.
Logically, if Somalis have committed that much fraud and received that much welfare, there is no way they got their hands on that much cash to send back to Somalia legitimately. Not to mention that at least some of that taxpayer-provided money has gone to support Al-Shabaab.
Which is not some delicious dish involving skewers of meat, but a hateful jihadist terror group.
Plus, at least one Somalian married her brother to commit immigration fraud, and should be denaturalized and deported immediately.
So if you’re keeping score at home, the most common career of Somalis in Somalia appears to be piracy at sea. Until yesterday, it appeared that the most common career of Somalis in America is piracy on land.
And now it turns out they’re also very good at piracy in the skies.
Next up: Somalis stow away on one of Elon’s rockets to the space station, and… wait for it… Somali pirates in space!
In light of all of this, I wish the GOP would start accurately describing what the ICE-attacking mobs and sanctuary cities are doing as insurrection. Because the leftist politicians, media figures and foot soldiers are by definition “rising in revolt, rebellion or resistance against civil authority or an established government.”
So we need to go full court press against insurrectionist sanctuary cities and states for the next 10 months:
1. Demand that their courts and jails hold illegal detainees for ICE to pick up.
2. Charge the top politicians who refuse to do that with whatever federal crimes are most serious: obstruction, dereliction of duty, insurrection, whatever.
3. In the meantime, cut off all federal funding to those cities and states for any purpose that can be even tangentially tied to illegals.
My ultra-conservative heart tells me to do that directly and across the board: Since illegals are receiving food benefits, cut off all SNAP funds; since illegals are illegally receiving schooling, cut off all K-12 federal funds; since illegals are illegally attending colleges, cut off all college loans and funding. Since they are illegally getting housing benefits, cut off all housing funds.
But my crystal brain – better than a crystal ball, and more strategic than my ultra-conservative heart – suggests a better way to go about this. Because the dishonest Dems and their collaborators in the MSM would say that we were denying innocent Americans in those states the funds that they should rightly be receiving.
So instead of cutting off all funds to those states and cities, I suggest that Trump announces a new plan with a public statement along these lines: “We don’t want to do this. We hate it. But those states are screwing their own citizens by taking benefits away from them and giving them to illegals. And the residents of all non-sanctuary states and cities – which are the majority of the country – do not consent to having their money taken from them and then given to illegals in corrupt sanctuary cities and states.
“So we’ve studied the numbers, and have determined how much money they’ve been illegally giving to non-citizens, whether through SNAP funds, housing benefits, educational benefits, etc. For example, we’ve determined that Minnesota receives $30 billion in SNAP funds annually, and gives $10 billion of that to illegals. [I’m making these numbers up to make the point.]
“Starting now, we’ll be giving the $20 billion Minnesota needs to give SNAP benefits ONLY to American citizens. We’ll do the same with federal funding in every other category. This will give voters in every state the chance to tell their leaders how they want that money spent. If they are happy to lose their apartments and have their kids go hungry while tax money pays rent for illegals and feeds them and their families, so be it.
“Again, we will continue to fully fund the states so that they can support their American citizens. If they want to re-direct much of that money to illegals, that’s up to them, and to you, their voters.”
The beauty of this plan is that it would put the blame directly where it belongs: on the leftist politicians and activist groups who are ripping off American taxpayers for the benefit of illegals.
I think this would be an easy and popular argument to make to the American public. I’d point to a precedent from the 1970s. During the oil crisis when gas shortages started popping up, the feds said that since driving slower conserved gas, the national speed limit should go down from 70 to 55 mph. When some states balked at that, the feds stopped highway funds for those states until they complied.
And that wasn’t even to force them to obey a law they had been breaking. Speed limits weren’t in the constitution, and states had always set their own. It wasn’t illegal to allow people to drive 65 or 70. The feds just didn’t like it, and decided that they knew what was best.
And if you can withhold funds to force states to make their citizens drive slower, you can sure as hell withhold funds to force states to stop breaking federal laws, and stealing billions from the taxes paid by citizens of all other states!
I’ll end on a historical parallel that I’ve noticed.
Small Frey, Jazz Hands and hundreds of protestors have been screaming at ICE to get out, saying they don’t want them here. First, that’s not how any of this works, as they would know if they’d ever read part of the Constitution called The Supremacy Clause.
Second, they sound exactly like some of their co-religionists from 165 years ago, when another bunch of Democrat insurrectionists told the federal government the same thing, as they attacked Fort Sumter. “Stay of out of Charleston! We don’t want you here!”
Today they’re calling face-tattooed gang bangers, child molesters and murderers “our neighbors.” Which proves that they’re even dumber than the Democrats of yesteryear, who were at least smart enough to not try to sell the public on the lie that they were concerned about their black “neighbors.”
They were also more honest.
Because screaming, “We won’t let you have our property!” might sound more jarring, but it’s a lot more true than today’s Dems calling foreign criminals “our neighbors”
Hamas (and Trantifa) delenda est!
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Martin Simpson 