Before I get started, I want to thank readers for the kind comments on “my visit with mom” column on Monday. I feel a little sheepish at the remarks on what a good son I am though, for two reasons.
First, we’re lucky that mom’s personality has not changed, as I’ve seen happen with some Alzheimer’s patients, whose demeanor deteriorates as the condition progresses. But mom is still her adorable self, so I’d have to be a Hunter-Biden-level d-bag to not love her back and treat her well!
(Regular readers may remember a story that sums up mom, from after a small stroke she had last year. She was still unsteady on her feet when she came home, so Rhonda told her that she was going to sleep in her bed with her the first night, in case she needed to get up in the middle of the night. Mom was a little confused, but said, “Okay.” Then, a minute later, she asked, “Did you have a bad dream?”
That’s our mom, crushing it at motherhood, whether at 25 or 85!)
Second, my sister and her husband live with mom, and have since they sold their house and mom sold hers shortly after dad died. They bought a house together, and they’ve been with her full-time, so they deserve the real credit for helping her and caring for her. To the extent that that can be a burden – and it is often one of the joys of life, too – they have come through.
So I feel lucky to be able to stay with her as often as I can, both to give them some time away and to spend precious time with mom. But I also feel a bit like a divorced, non-custodial dad: I get to be the “fun one” who takes the kid to Disney (pre-grooming, pre-leftist Disney) and buys her presents and then leaves the day-to-day work to the custodial parent.
Still, I didn’t get a chance to respond to the comments on Monday’s column, and I do appreciate them.
And now, onto the usual shenanigans…
As in many past elections, the Democrats’ chief obstacle this November is going to be PWFE. Which, of course, stands for “People With Functioning Eyes.”
It’s a time-honored tradition for the Dems to be selling some version of “believe what we tell you, and not your lying eyes.”
Remember when Bill Clinton would be doing a campaign photo op at a BBQ restaurant, and he’d be proclaiming how much he loved CAW CAW and he didn’t have sex with “that woman,” but you’d notice that as he was talking, he was squeezing the butt of the nearest waitress?
Or when they told us that Obama was a post-racial Light-Bringer, but you noticed that he was a smirking narcissist who hated whitey?
Or when they told you John Kerry had gravitas, and that Pelosi was a canny operator, and that Liz Warren was an Ojibwe Princess?
But you noticed that Kerry was one of those tree-people from Lord of the Rings, and Nancy Pelosi was the mummified remains of Nancy Pelosi, and Liz Warren was as white as the lead singer of an Edgar Winter cover band performing a Pat Boone medley in a hockey arena in Stockholm?
(#wemustneverstopmockingallofthem)
Those were your pesky functioning eyes, making trouble for the Dems.
But this year, the PWFE are a threat to the leftist narrative on more fronts than usual.
This cycle, they’re telling you that crime is actually down, but you’re watching that report on CNN in your hospital room, because you can’t change the channel, because you’re in a full-body cast, because you forgot to run serpentine to your car in a parking lot, and were thus set upon by a bunch of criminals who beat you to within an inch of your life.
They’re telling you that inflation is under control and that Bidenomics is working, but you’re at a diner eating a breakfast that you had to take out a HELOC to pay for, and you’re looking at the prices at the gas station across the street and wondering if there is a skateboarding commute in your future.
They’re telling you that the border is secure, but as you channel surf, you keep seeing what you think is a panoramic scene of an endless column of weary Jews trudging out of Egypt in The Ten Commandments. But then you look closer, and see that it’s Arizona, and there are zero Jews in the crowd. In fact, many of them are demanding iPhones and debit cards in Spanish, and others are muttering about “death to the infidels.”
And the guys who jumped you in the parking lot were speaking every language BUT English, and one of them was wearing an “I [heart] MS-13!” t-shirt.
They’re even telling you that their plans to spend billions on wiping out homelessness are working wonderfully. But you can’t help but notice that Go-pro video of the streets of every blue city looks like a cross between footage from Revenge of the Living Dead and a casting call for extras to play the close friends/meth-y hookers in an upcoming biopic about Hunter Biden.
But perhaps the Dems’ biggest challenge with PWFE during this election year involves their candidate for president. Whom, your functioning eyes are telling you, appears to be possibly dead.
Or at least dead-adjacent.
Lefty hacks have been trying to counter that accurate impression of Biden’s public deterioration. Their first talking points were that whatever Joe looks like in public, behind closed doors the guy is sharp as a tack. You should see him! He speaks five languages, knows all the state capitals, the guy is aces!
But even sycophantic lefty late-night hosts ridiculed that idea, and they had to give it up.
So now the brain-trust at the DNC has come up with the most ridiculous gaslighting effort ever, focused around their newly coined phrase “cheap fakes,” which they use to describe video of Biden that evil Republicans have somehow manipulated to make him look bad.
Of course, the term is a variation on “deep fakes,” which are actually a thing. It turns out that if some tech geek/evil sorcerer has a sample of someone’s voice and image, they can create a fraudulent video of that person appearing to do or say offensive things. (I’m not sure how computers work.)
I fully expect them to unleash such fake videos of Trump as an October surprise. Sure, they will later turn out to be fakes, but not until after the election, when they hope it will be too late to undo the damage. (Just like the bogus 34 “felony convictions” will certainly be overturned… after the election.)
But while deep fakes are real, and troubling, “cheap fakes” don’t exist. And pretending that they do is incredible stupid, even for a party with AOC in it.
They tried to suggest that the GOP has edited or cut video of Biden to give the false impression that he’s a doddering old man. But everyone has copies of entire videos, and they immediately played them – unedited – in what turned out to be full-color, panoramic, high-def Doddervision™.
By now, the Dem talking heads can’t even offer a rationale for what they’re saying. The sapphic Kewpie-doll spokesperson just shakes her curls and waves her arms and repeats, “Those videos don’t show what the bad-faith GOP says they show.”
Disturbing cartoon character James Carville grimaces and sneers and says, “Come ahwne son, yuh can’t bleeve them rotten Reepublic-uns and their lahs about Joe Biden! He’s fit as a fiddle, and they-uh goin’ round sayin’ he old and feeble? That dog won’t hunt! They just a bunch of lah-ers, thas whut they are. Joe Biden cud go f’teen rounds with Mike Tyson any day and twice on Sundy, ah’ll tell you whut! These ain’t the droids you lookin’ fur!”
And then you watch the video, and notice that Biden has the stiff gait (and giant shoes) of Frankenstein’s monster, and the vacant stare of Frankenstein’s monster, and the youthful vigor of Imhotep Pelosi.
And the verbal dexterity of Frankenstein’s monster.
It’s desperate, and it’s not going to work. Because of PWFE.
Let me end on a more positive note, with a story from my regular category called “Celebration of Excellence.”
This one happened in Florida in February, and you can find it on the great website of the ex-cop who calls himself Donut Operator. It’s the story of a recidivist criminal in Fort Myers – his mugshot looks like the rare combination of aggressive-looking and pot smoker – who decided to rob a bank in what Donut rightly calls “the least f**king around state in the country.”
This guy’s bank caper doesn’t go well – unexpectedly! – and he ends up facing a dozen cops in flak vests. He’s got a knife and is holding two hostages, and pulls them very close, and stands between them.
While one cop talks to the Biden-voting (I’m guessing) perp and tries to get him to give up, a sniper uses a fellow cop as a tripod to balance his gun on, just in case. (Belt and suspenders, people.) Unfortunately, the criminal is wedged between the hostages, and there’s a computer monitor in the sniper’s line of fire.
But a computer monitor, for that sniper, is just like the truth for a leftist.
Irrelevant.
So when the bad guy puts the knife against his female hostage’s throat, the sniper puts a round through the computer monitor. And then, microseconds later, through the bad guy’s forehead, just above and between his eyes.
Annnndddd… down goes bad guy! Down goes bad guy!
Weirdly, the computer still had a functioning blue screen… with a neat bullet hole in the middle of it.
Florida gave the sniper an award for that shot – see the “least-f**king-around state” comment above – and the hostages were unharmed.
Still, the bank robber did lose his life. So we should all probably say a prayer…
for the computer monitor.
Hamas delenda est!
Martin Simpson 