You know the kind of cliches that indicate that something will never happen? Like saying, “The gals on the View will have an intelligent conversation… when pigs fly.” Or, “Joe Biden (RIP) will achieve a foreign policy success… when hell freezes over.”
Well I think I’ve discovered a new cliché of that type. And I can use it in a sentence.
Like this one: “The MSM will cover a conservative fairly … when a big blue city’s Democrat mayor says something true about economics.”
Okay, so it doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. But on January 10th, when a reporter tried to get New York City (RIP) mayor Eric Adams to criticize Gov. Hochul’s decision to not raise taxes, he said this accurate thing, which I swear I am not making up:
“Well, we are one of the highest-taxed states in the country outside of California, and you have to find the right balance. [I]n NYC in general, 2% of New Yorkers pay 51% of our taxes.”
And then – flap your wings to warm them up, piggies – he said, “We’re seeing a hemorrhaging of, not only working class people, but we’re concerned about losing that high tax base…”
Before he finished with – strap your skates on, Hitler, Jeffrey Epstein and Fidel Castro – “…because that tax base pays for our police officers, our teachers, our firefighters, keeps our streets clean.”
I know. You could have knocked me over with a feather plucked from the wing of an aerodynamically successful swine.
A leftist mayor said something true about the dangerous results of leftist fiscal policy. I think this might be a new day dawning. We might be on the verge of a return to sanity, opening the possibility of a functional bipartisan—
Oh no, wait. This just in, from one day later:
When asked in an interview about the unfolding illegal immigrant disaster in his city, Adams said that NYC “has done a great job” handling the surge, and that, “This has nothing to do with sanctuary cities. Migrants and asylum seekers are paroled into the [country]. They’re here legally.”
Annnddddd… we’re back. Pigs can’t fly. Hell is still hot. And big city Dem mayors are still allergic to reality and accountability.
Case in point, the Round Mound of Unsound Policy, Illinois Governor Pritzker, has sent a letter to Texas Governor Abbott, asking him to stop sending illegals to Chicago. “I plead with you for mercy for the thousands of people who are powerless to speak for themselves. Please, while winter is threatening vulnerable people’s lives… do not send more people to our state.”
In recent months, Pritzker has called Abbott’s policy “a cheap political stunt,” and in his new letter he complained that, “Hundreds of children’s and families’ health and survival are at risk due to your actions.”
Got that? It’s not Biden’s fault for inviting millions of illegals to flood across the border, and it’s not Illinois Democrats fault for declaring Chicago a sanctuary city for all of the future illegal Democrat voters in south and central America (mi casa es tu casa!). It’s the Republicans’ fault.
Your party has opened the border, J.B. I know how surprised you are that even with all of this global warming that is about to boil us to death, the forecast for Chicago right now is for a freezing cold winter.
If only there were some places where the Mexicans, Guatemalans, El Salvadorans and Venezuelans could live where they weren’t in danger of becoming Latinx-cicles.
Oh wait. There are such places. And they’re called Mexico, Guatemala, El Salvador and Venezuela.
So get off your high horse, put down that comically oversized turkey leg, and give your party’s leader a call. (Fair warning, though: you may need a Oujia board.)
One final piece of advice, and this is a paraphrase of Claudine Gay’s immortal words from Animal House (“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”):
Delusional, two-faced and double-chinned is no way to go through life, Governor.
Meanwhile, in Texas, rational people are continuing to do things right.
One such rational person is Terry Willis, a resident of a Houston suburb. This week his surveillance cameras alerted him to a small group of Biden voters (I’m guessing about that part… but I’d bet Hunter’s life on it) going through his neighborhood, trying the door handles on parked cars.
When four of them came up his driveway and let themselves into his ATV, which was on a trailer behind his truck, he walked out into his yard to speak with them.
He said, “I apologize that our evil society has given you such a bad deal in life. Please help yourself to my sanctuary ATV. Because: Massachusetts!”
Oh no, wait. This story happened in Houston.
So when he walked into his yard, he was carrying his AR-15 rifle.
Because: Texas!
He racked in a shell and said, “I don’t think you want to do this.” And the criminals ran away, leaving a trail of cowardice and human waste in their wake.
When interviewed, Willis said, “For approximately 20 years, I’ve had a concealed weapons permit. I’ve also been through hunter safety courses. I’ve built guns.”
Did you get that? While leftists have been building DEI programs, abortuaries and memorials to recidivists like Michael Brown and George Floyd, Terry Willis has been building guns!
Did I get a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye, watching that news story? Maybe.
I can’t think of a better way to end this column than with Terry’s closing words to a local reporter:
“I’ve worked for 40 years of my life. Everything that I’ve got… never stole anything, and I’m just not taking it anymore. This ain’t the place to come, because we’re tired of it.”
Yes. Yes we are.
But if those misunderstood youngsters are looking for a place where citizens ARE willing to take it some more, and are NOT tired of it, I’d suggest Chicago.
But get yourself a clean pair of pants and a nice warm coat first!
Hamas delenda est!
Martin Simpson 
Not the first time. There was an occasion just a few years ago when Ratface – as Governor Andy Cuomo was colloquially and affectionately(?) known by all around the state “campus” in Albany – wanted to raise taxes on high earners in New York City, and Mayor de Blasio had the proverbial cow, pointing out that fewer than 40,000 people and families paid most of the taxes in the city. Paraphrasing de Blasio’s reaction (I don’t remember his exact words, so this quote’s not a quote, it’s a paraphrase, but it’s quite close to what he said): “That’s a small enough number that they could all just leave! Then what?” Ratface backed down.
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