We’ve got a lot to be thankful for this Christmas season, not the least of which is the good news that has been coming out of Israel lately. And sure, starting with Jewish stories might not seem to be the most Christmasy way to begin a column. But God started that way too, and we Christians got one of the top two Testaments ever, plus our Savior out of that deal. So I’m just sticking with what works.
Israel had a great year, if measured by their righteous smiting of their enemies, and compared to their horrific 2023. Their highlights included the exploding pagers, then the exploding radios and walkie talkies, and also the killings of Hassan Nasrallah and Yahoo Sinwar, along with most of the leadership of Hamas and Hezbollah.
In fact, the only disappointment from the Israelis came in October, when they carried out air raids and targeted strikes against Iran in the wake of the massive missile barrage Iran had thrown at them. I had hoped they’d take out all Iranian nuclear sites, since the one existential threat to Israel — and the largest threat to the Middle East and beyond – would be the mullahs of Iran with nuclear weapons.
But in the two months since those strikes, I’ve realized how well that strategy worked. Israel took out literally all of Iran’s air defenses and most of their ballistic missile program. While I was hoping for more widespread destruction of Iran’s military and leadership, smarter analysts than me have pointed out that taking Iran’s missiles and air force off the map was a master stroke.
Iran is now deterred more than ever, because they know that the next time they start trouble, Israeli jets can strike Iranian targets with impunity. And with greatly diminished missile inventories – and Israel’s demonstration in October that they can intercept the vast majority of missiles fired at them – Iran can hope for only a token show of force before they suffer devastating retaliation.
That still leaves the Iranian nuclear development threat. But even on that front, the Israeli strikes achieved more than they had appeared to at first glance. Because a month after the strikes, Netanyahu officially confirmed that Israel had destroyed a key nuke research facility at Parchin.
The extra-sweet twist to that story: because Iran had been lying to the low-T anti-Semites running the UN that Parchin was a non-threatening, basically dormant facility, they are now unable to run to them whining that the Israelis took out the nukes that they had been insisting did not exist!
Oh, the savory delectability of a heaping bowl of Christmas hummus, glazed with a generous dollop of schadenfreude and served with a side of Nelson Muntz-ian HA-HA!
A summarizing story from late November featured some perfect observations: “The U.N. nuclear watchdog, the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA), earlier this year warned that Iran’s nuclear program has largely run unchecked for the last six years, and it is believed to have increased its stockpiles of highly enriched uranium metals…. But IAEA Director General Rafael Grossi has warned that Iran’s nuclear facilities should not become a target as Israel ramps up direct operations against Tehran.”
And now, if you’ll allow me a moment to crack my knuckles, stretch my arms, and rotate my head back and forth to get the kinks out of my neck like a bouncer preparing to pummel an opponent, I’ll attempt the rare, four-“unexpectedly” paragraph:
After Iran has been lying about their nuclear program for years (UNEXPECTEDLY!), and the lefty squishes at the UN and the Biden administration had adopted a subservient posture to appease them (UNEXPECTEDLY!), Israel went Old Testament on the mullahs, which worked out well (UNEXPECTEDLY!). (“Down goes Goliath! Down goes Goliath!”) And then, with the prospect of Orange Hitler returning to power, Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas “tail between his legs” Araghchi “said he was ready to engage in international talks.” UNEXPECTEDLY!
Meanwhile at home, MSM dissemblers are either getting fired or taking pay cuts to keep their jobs. MSNBC’s already-low ratings have plummeted since the election, dropping by over 60%. To put that in terms AOC could understand, they’ve lost more than half of their viewers. That’s literally dozens and dozens of people!
Get ready for the most deserved scare quotes ever: Their on-air “talent” has either been getting fired, or required to take less pay. Stephanie Ruhle was offered a pay cut from her current $2 million, and rabid, racist, blonde-hair appropriator Joy Reid – “My culture is not your costume!” says my Norwegian-American smokeshow wife to the Joy-less one – will drop from $3 million.
Which raises the obvious question: How on earth were those two imbeciles earning over a million dollars in their lifetimes, let alone in a single year?!
But it gets worse: Boyish expert in getting everything wrong Rachel Maddow graciously agreed to a pay cut – remember: she does a single one-hour show per week! – from $30 million allllll the way down to $25 million.
While I might be a hilarious genius, I’m no math genius. But even I can figure out a ratio of viewers to salary, when looking at Rachel Maddow. (Who, by the way, recently received the most laughably back-handed compliment in history, from a NY Post story. They called her “MSNBC’s most bankable star.”)
(Not since Jeffrey Toobin’s colleagues told him, “We’ve seen smaller,” has a compliment been so backhanded.)
Where was I? Oh yeah, Maddow’s viewers-to-salary ratio. I would love to be on the network side of all of these salary negotiations, because they certainly have the whip-hand. The toughest negotiations are the ones in which the employee has rare and marketable skills, and many suitors wishing to hire them. Think of a top-notch pitcher who can throw in the 90+ mph range with a lot of control. If his team doesn’t want to pay him, other teams certainly will.
Now look at Stephanie Ruhle. Is anyone else on earth elbowing aside competitors to pay her $2 mil? Or Joy Reid, at $3 million? I remember my dad saying, when we came across a super-annoying person, “She looks like a long day.” Well, who needs a low-IQ, racist, long day of a person that badly?
I mean sure, the warped and dessicated Ivy League system will line up for an anti-patriotic whitey-hater to hire and give tenure to. But not at $3 million a year!
On an unrelated note, after the new year starts, I’ll be negotiating with CO for an equally reasonable salary of $30 million. But I’m willing to negotiate down to Maddow-level numbers, even though that pittance would be a devastating insult to me.
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For the next week I’ll be enjoying my favorite rituals of the season. I’ll be listening to some Christmas carols in brass, along with A Christmas Carol read by Frank Muller. (No matter how many times I read him, Dickens endures, and gets better somehow.) I’ll watch at least one or two versions of A Christmas Carol on tv, along with at least parts of It’s A Wonderful Life. (If you like Dickens and haven’t seen it yet, I’d recommend a recent movie called “The Man Who Invented Christmas” which tells the story of his writing the Carol.)
We’ll go to a Christmas eve service, followed by supper with Karen’s two brothers and their wives. After a peaceful Christmas day at home, we’ll go up to Tennessee to see my mom, sister and her husband.
Because I’ve been traveling so much, I haven’t had the chance to respond to the comments on my last several columns, but I was touched to hear how many of you have lost loved ones around past holidays. I knew that my experience of losing my dad at Christmastime wasn’t unique, but I still got choked up hearing that for a handful of COers, this will be your first Christmas without a spouse or loved one. You’ll be in the thoughts and prayers of many of us here, as you go through the first holiday (always the toughest one) with an empty chair at your table.
I hope you all have a great Christmas, one in which you savor all you have, and take nothing for granted.
I couldn’t do better than to end with a pitch-perfect Dickensian toast that Dickens gives at the end of the movie I mentioned earlier. “I wish you all many, many happy Christmases, and friendships, and great accumulation of cheerful recollections, and heaven at last for all of us. In the season of hope, we will shut out nothing from our firesides. And everyone will be welcome.”
Martin Simpson 
Excellent! Happy New Year to you and your family!
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The same to you, and thanks!
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