Reaction to Trump’s Quasi-SOTU Speech (posted 3/5/25)

I had a couple of topics to write about this morning, but they will have to wait until Friday, because I can’t not comment on last night’s State of the Union-adjacent speech.

I’ve written before about how I generally don’t like these things.  All of the rote jumping up and down in applause by the party in power, and the concomitant studied silence by the other party, the using of people in the crowd as props to put a human face on various political issues, etc.  

Because I’m a grumpy old man about this stuff, I prefer the way the early Founders handled SOTUs: they sent a letter that was read out in congress, and that was it.  

I’d like to return to that.  Just a handful of paragraphs hitting the highlights: “Our navy has whipped the Barbary Pirates, our cavalry has kept the raiding parties from the savage Warrens at bay on our western frontier (#wemustneverstopmockingher), and the sorghum crop this year is abundant.  Thank ye, and God bless America.”

But having said that, if you’re going to do a modern SOTU, this was the way to do it.  Though it was too long (they all are), there were a lot of strong lines. (My favorite was about the border:   “[The Dems] said that they needed a new law to secure the border, but all we needed was a new president.”)  

And Trump demonstrated his flair for the dramatic, with one feel-good announcement after another.  A key terrorist from the Abbey Gate attack has been captured and is on his way to face American justice; the young black kid who had brain cancer getting made an honorary agent; the high school kid being told he’s been accepted at West Point; Jocelyn Nungaray’s mom being told that a wildlife sanctuary has been renamed for her daughter; reading the letter from Zelensky saying that the minerals deal is back on, etc.

But perhaps the best news for the country to come out of the speech was the Democrats’ stunning demonstration that they are incapable of reading either a nation, a moment, or a room.  Because they are ineducable.  Bone-deep, weapons-grade stupid.

I’ll admit that it’s always a tough gig to be the out-of-power party at a SOTU.  You have to sit on your hands most of the night while the opposition is standing and applauding, and it’s not easy to do that without looking petulant.

But you know what’s an even worse look?  Heckling like children, and applauding only ONE THING in the entire speech, and choosing the worst possible thing for that one moment of applause.

They started the night off on the wrong foot, heckling and yelling out immediately.  You may  remember when one GOP congressman, after listening to Obama lie for half an hour straight in one of his SOTUs, yelled, “You lie!”  The entire MSM nearly melted down, and the hyperventilating lasted for days.  “This is unprecedented!  The most inappropriate violation we’ve ever seen!  Would he ever have yelled like that at a white president?  Racist!!”

But double standard, thy name is Democrat.   

The first and the worst offender was Al Green.  You might remember Al Green as a talented soul singer, but now his fine name has been besmirched by one of the worst Democrats in congress.  And that’s really saying something, considering that Melting Face Maxine Waters, Ilhan “Allahu Akbar!” Omar, and Juicy Booty AOC (her words, not mine) are all in the congress. 

The Democrat (bad) Al Green is tough to look at, and tougher to listen to.  Luckily, in the first few minutes of the speech he started to scream incoherently, and the GOP was ready for him, sending the Sergeant at Arms to escort him out.

Which brings up several questions for me:

1. What’s the point of having the title “Sergeant at Arms” if you aren’t armed?

2. If you are armed, why didn’t you let bad Al Green ride the lightning?  Are tasers broken? 

3. Since when are disordered lunatics allowed to carry a cane with a big metal head on it into the presence of the President? 

Obviously, the Sergeant at Arms missed a golden opportunity, because as soon as the bad Al Green started hollering and raised his cane, Sarge could have yelled, “CANE!  Swarm! SWARM!” and initiated a violent pile-on.

And if, once the agents had picked Green’s body up and carried him out, it turned out that his cane had been accidentally shoved into a position that required a doctor to remove it, that’s the chance you take when you bring a cylindrical object into a SOTU and act like a fool.

I would also have accepted a third option for dealing with Green, which regular readers may remember from a few earlier columns of mine.  I’m speaking, of course, of the Robot Flamethrower Dog!

Sure, some might object to deploying a RFD in the confined space of a SOTU.  But since bad Al Green was sitting amidst the other Democrats, what’s the worst that could happen?  Maybe a few facial burns – which in many cases would be a lateral move at worst, appearance-wise – and a few of those idiotic paddles being scorched. 

You say, “collateral damage,” I say, “collateral hilarity.”

And speaking of those paddles, what grade are those people in?!   Unless you’re going to a ping pong tournament, an auction, or a sick kink party at the Biden-era NSA, you should not be carrying a paddle around in public.

And the idiotic lines printed on the paddles reinforced the Dems’ terrible judgment in two ways: they were pre-printed, which meant that this bonehead stunt was premediated, and the printed phrases were such banal imbecilities.

“Musk Steals,” “False,” and “Save Medicaid.”  I’ve seen smarter messages on a Magic 8 Ball when I was a kid.

“Are these Democrats really going through with this childish stunt?”

“Signs point to yes.” 

“Is there a greater concentration of low-IQ numbskulls anywhere on earth right now?”

“My sources say no.” 

And Trump cannily set them up for the bad optics, with his riff on, “There is nothing I could say to make them happy, or to make them smile or applaud, even if I cured a terrible disease.” 

The Dems immediately proved him right.  They wouldn’t applaud for a black kid with brain cancer, or for terrorists being brought to justice, or for a 95-year-old mom getting her son back from a Russian prison.

So what was the one thing they were willing to celebrate? 

I’m not making this up.  When Trump challenged them, asking, “Do you want to keep this war [in Ukraine] going for another 5 years?” the morons started clapping.  Trump saw one of them, and took the personal shot, saying, “Pocahontas says yes.” 

And when the camera panned to the Powhatan Pale-Face herself, she doubled down on dumb, and applauded more vigorously.

She really is that out of touch!  This dowager with none of her (extremely white) skin in the game actually clapped for five more years of war.  “Yay!  Let’s fight to the last Ukrainian!”  

And that is why… say it with me again, people… 

#wemustneverstopmockingher!