In Search of the Elusive “Moderate Democrat” (posted 1/30/26)

Over the last several years we’ve seen thousands of examples of the lunatic fringe of the left.  And since they are so disconcertingly entertaining and easy to mock, they have naturally garnered a lot of our attention.

From the Jerry Springer-style minstrel show antics of Jasmine Crockett to the dead muskrat that Maxine Waters wears as a wig, and from the dude pretending to be Rachel Levine to the White Walker pretending to be Cherokee princess Liz Warren, the absurdity of fringe leftists helps sane people to see them coming from a mile away, and discount anything they say.

But one group has done more damage, and that’s the faux moderates, i.e. far leftists who pose as sane, non-threatening center leftists.  The last two Democrat presidents have come from this group, for example. 

Barack Obama famously gave a speech proclaiming that “there are no red states or blue states, only the United States,” and he promised to be a unifier who would bring about financial prudence and the end of racial tension.

Annnndddd… he governed as a leftist ideologue, exacerbated racial divisions, rammed through a government takeover of health care that began failing immediately, and doubled the national debt in eight years. 

The late Joe Biden pretended to be a non-threatening moderate, and many gullible citizens voted for him specifically to avoid the wacky leftism of Beta O’Rourke, Spartacus Booker, Bill duh-Blasio, Bernie Sanders and Grandma Squanto Warren. (#wemustneverstopmockingher)

Annnndddd…then Biden’s team of embalmers and taxidermists governed as far left as Bernie would have.

That trend has continued to this very day.  For two good examples I give you Tampon Tim Walz and Abigail “White Witch of the North” Spanberger.

Que Mala picked Knucklehead as her VP because… well, because she has absolutely terrible judgment.  About every decision.  All the time.

But also because he was supposedly the safest and most “moderate/normie” choice.  She couldn’t pick another female or minority, because America would be rightly skeptical about a double-DEI ticket.  She couldn’t pick Josh Shapiro because her base is made up of jihad-adjacent, raging anti-Semites.  She couldn’t pick Mayor Pete because of the gayness.

I know.  She wanted to avoid the gay, so she ended up with… Jazz Hands?  (See “terrible judgment, every decision, all the time” above.)

Once Walz was chosen, the Democrat PR machinery clanked into motion.  “Walz is a football coach.  He’s a military man, with decades of service in the Guard.  When he’s not hunting, he’s fixing cars, and being “Minnesota Nice’.”

Annndddd…because God exists, and He loves us, we dodged that bullet.  And in the year since Trump took office, we’ve gotten tons of evidence of how devastating that bullet would have been if we hadn’t dodged it. 

Because it turns out that he knows nothing about football.  (You don’t “call a pick six,” you dope.)  Or about hunting.  (That’s the wrong end of the shotgun to hold, and the shells go in there, and that’s an Elmer Fudd hat, not a codpiece.)  Or about cars. 

Or about – I’m just guessing here – heterosexuality.

He’s only “Minnesota Nice” if that phrase means “prone to demonizing conservatives as Nazis and law enforcement as the Gestapo.”  And his “military” career consisted of spending decades at least a continent away from any war, and then quitting the minute he was supposed to lead his unit in an actual war zone.

And as soon as Trump started to actually try enforcing our laws and constitution, Walz has stoked the insurrectionist flames like the most nihilistic, wild-eyed revolutionary since Lenin. (If Lenin had been as effete and incompetent as he was evil.)

But Albino Spanberger might be the quintessential example of the faux moderate. 

She was elected as Virginia governor in November as the model “centrist Democrat.”  While fringe lunatics like Commie Mamdani and Jay “I want to see GOP children murdered in their mothers’ arms” Jones were getting elected mayor of NYC and AG of VA respectively, Spanberger was pitched as the anti-Mamdani. 

When conservatives pointed to the far-left candidates – Mamdani, Jones, that crazy wench who ran on an “I hate Christianity, country music and the South” platform in NASHVILLE(!) – as the extremist future of the Democrat party, smarter Dems held up Spanberger as the shining counter-example. 

“She won as a centrist in a purple state!  Forget the Crocketts and the Squad and the communist whack-jobs, Abby is the moderate, Great White Hope for the Democrat future!  (Well, they didn’t say “Great White Hope.”  But she’s certainly a super-white hope.)

Annnndddd…her first day in office she started pushing the most far-left, radical agenda that Virginia has ever seen.

She reversed Youngkin’s EO 47, which committed VA law enforcement to cooperate with ICE in deporting the worst criminal illegal aliens in their jails.  She proposed reducing minimum sentences for serious crimes like – I swear I’m not making this up – manslaughter and rape. 

And she doesn’t just love actual rape.  She’s also quite a fan of the financial kind, because she proposed a raft of new taxes on nearly everything, from deliveries and hotels to guns and ammunition, and a more than doubling of the top state income tax rate.  She wants to guarantee “free” (i.e. provided by Virginia taxpayers) education to illegals. 

And she wants to do everything possible to ensure crooked elections, including allowing voting over the internet (!), extending the time to receive late mail-in ballots and “cure” faulty ones, and making it ILLEGAL to hand-count ballots!

And she wants to change Columbus Day to “Indigenous People’s Day.”  (Insert your own Liz Warren joke here.) (#neverstopmocking)

In other words, Spanberger’s entire campaign was a lie.

Unexpectedly! 

The moral of the story is clear.  With the possible exception of John Fetterman, there is no such thing as a moderate Democrat anymore.  And tragically, medical science has not yet devised a way to induce a stroke in every elected Democrat, so that at least some of them would come out of it as reasonable humans.  (Sure, many others might die in the process.  But isn’t that a risk we should be willing to take?)

There are only communist/socialists, extreme-left Democrats, and far-left Democrats.  And any Dem who calls herself a “moderate” is – as I may have mentioned in a previous column – an evil, scummy liar.

Vote accordingly, America.     

Hamas (and Trantifa) delenda est!

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