I spent the last week traveling. I drove up to TN to see my mom, sister and brother-in-law, then on up to IL to hang out with some cousins and other family. The cousins are a diverse bunch politically, but even though several of them hate Trump with a passion, they all have enough sense to be chafing under IL governor Pritzker’s heavy-handed leftist arrogance. (And so do a lot of their fellow citizens, judging from the number of professionally-made “Pritzker Sucks!” signs I saw in the yards of my old hometown.) We ate outside at various restaurants – because the Dems who run the state know that we can’t be trusted to eat inside, under a roof and in air conditioning, like citizens of a free and successful nation.
Also, we must not go outside to gather in groups of any size, lest we bring death and destruction to all.
Unless we are engaged in a peaceful leftist riot, of course. In which case: covid, schmovid
By the way, I just spent 38 seconds looking at the Chicago Sun Times’ list of Chicago Homicides so far in 2020. The total as of a minute ago – which will probably be added to by the time you finish reading this column – was 268 murders. In one city, in less than half a year.
In fact, as I write this on June 18th, 74 people have been murdered in Chicago in the 24 days since May 25th, when George Floyd was killed.
The victims’ names are listed along with their race; if their identity is not known, their race is listed as “unknown.” I took a quick count. Out of the 74 most recently murdered people, 3 are listed as “white,” 5 are listed as “Hispanic,” 12 are listed as “unknown,” and 54 are listed as “black.”
Quick, name any one of those murdered black citizens.
I know. It’s almost as if none of those black lives mattered to the entirely Democrat leadership of Chicago. They ought to be ashamed of themselves.
Sorry for such a glum opening, but I’m really disheartened by what’s been happening to my country, and to my old home state.
Moving on…
I brought my mom down with me for a visit for this week. She turns 82 next month, and I’m very grateful that we still have her with us. She is one half of a great parenting duo, and even though my dad is gone, my sister and I are still in their debt. (I like to think that my wife and I are also that kind of stellar parenting duo. But if so, I am at best a metaphorical Scottie Pippen to my wife’s Michael Jordan, parenting-wise.)
Because I was on the road, I saw only a smattering of news, but a few details jumped out at me.
First, a shout out to Washington Post reporter Annie Linskey.
I know, that sounds like I’m setting up a vicious rhetorical take-down. But I’m serious. Linskey actually wrote an accurate article about Grandma Squanto, noting that Lizzy Warren recently gave her own pre-tarnished credibility 40 whacks: “Warren said fundraisers would ‘tear ‘this democracy apart.’ On Monday, she raised $6 million for Joe Biden.” The article includes a few honest shots at the way the Cigar Store Pale-Face (#wemustneverstopmockingher) had mocked high-dollar fundraisers in snazzy wine caves, but then snagged heap-big wampum for Posthumous Plugsy.
I’ve got to give credit where it’s due: good on you, Annie Linskey. I only hope that this doesn’t mean that your career is as dead as Imhotep Pelosi.
Amid all of the new peaceful rioting news, I’ve been depressed to see how the mob’s destructive mania has spread so far, so fast. They began by tearing down various confederate statues – which, if they were morally consistent they wouldn’t do, since all of those guys were fellow Democrats – but then quickly moved on to Columbus and George Washington, and even (in Europe) Winston Churchill and Robert the Bruce.
Particularly nice call on that last one, geniuses! Nothing says “stop keeping black people down” like defacing the statue of a Scottish guy who never met a black person in his life. A life which, by the way, ended a scant 644 years before George Floyd was born.
One tragi-comic moment in the anti-statuary follies came in Portsmouth, VA. After a pack of peaceful vandals had spent a few hours peacefully attacking some confederate soldier statues, they gently yanked one off its pedestal. Unfortunately, one of them managed to position himself directly beneath it when it fell, resulting in life-threatening injuries.
I truly do hope that he pulls through and recovers, and lives a long and productive life, during which he looks back and repents the idiocy of his youth. In the meantime, it’s easy to imagine Darwin shaking his head sadly, saying, “I can’t believe that the last person to fall to a confederate soldier might have been struck down 155 years after a Republican president defeated the Democrats and freed their slaves.”
The last bit of news I caught this week was that some empty-headed actors have once again deigned to virtue signal to those of us in the deplorable community.
Back in March, a gaggle of clueless, narcissistic celebrities made a video of themselves singing an insufferable version of the egregious John Lennon song “Imagine.” (For those of you who discovered this site only recently, please go to Martinsimpsonwriting.com and see my 3/27 column on that artistic atrocity.) After subjecting myself to that, I’d thought that Hollywood couldn’t possibly sink any lower. But I was wrong.
This newest moral assault is called “I Take Responsibility,” and if you haven’t seen it yet, lock up your eardrum-and-eyeball-piercing knitting needles and give it a listen. I’ll wait…
Okay. That was a 2-minute video. I know that it seemed like 4 hours, but really. 2 minutes.
Here’s my play-by-play:
First 3 seconds: Who is that woman, and where did she get Jiminy Glick’s ridiculous prop-comic glasses?
Next 3 seconds: No, not Aaron Paul!! I loved that guy in Breaking Bad.
Seconds 7-25: Who are these people? They’re supposed to be celebrities, right?
Second 26: Aaagh! I recognize Deborah Messing. And yikes, has she let herself go!
Second 27: No idea
Seconds 30-33: Never saw her before. But “Every time I explained away police brutality?” What?! You’ve been explaining away police brutality? You’re kind of a monster, aren’t you?
Seconds 40-45: That’s the not-as-good-Clarice-Starling from the Hannibal Lector sequel. What’s she saying? “Black people are being slaughtered in the streets. Killed in their own homes.” Really? Breonna Taylor was killed in her own home in a tragic and infuriating case of police incompetence and recklessness, and she’s famous because her case was so egregious and rare, and every decent person mourns her death.
But 54 black people were murdered in the last 24 days in one American city, some in their own homes and some “slaughtered in the streets,” mostly by other black people instead of cops. And you don’t know any of their names, and you couldn’t care less about them, poor man’s Agent Starling.
Seconds 55-1:07: Stanley Tucci says, “I will no longer allow racist, hurtful words, jokes, stereotypes…to be uttered in my presence.” You won’t allow it? What are you going to do, Stan — call a cop? I’ll bet if those hurtful words were directed against the orange-skinned community, or conservatives, or white folks, Lord Stanley wouldn’t be quite so incensed. Won’t allow something to be uttered in his presence? What a blowhard!
Second 109: Aaaah! Tight-haired, Jiminy Glick lady again.
Seconds 1:11-1:30: This lineup isn’t a “who’s who,” it’s a “who’s that?” And all of them believe that doing normal, everyday activities “shouldn’t be a death sentence!” Controversial stance.
Seconds 1:31 – 1:42: Five nobodies “Stand against hate!” Another brave stance. Don’t they realize the risk they are taking, going up against the powerful, “We stand WITH hate” lobby?
Second 1:43: Jessie Pinkman emotes. He’s against “killer cops.” These people are heroes, I tells ya. Haven’t they seen the gigantic crowds marching with their “We Support Killer Cops!” signs?!
Good lord. You’d have to have the stone heart of a falling confederate soldier statue not to laugh at these morons. And they can’t even memorize a 10-syllable line! They are reading a teleprompter, and botching it.
Great job, everybody. You’ve ruined Breaking Bad for me, and if I ever see one of you SJW hacks in a movie, tv show or dinner theatre production of “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,” you’ve pre-ruined that for me, too. Watching your preening has made me throw up in my mouth.
Take responsibility for that!
Avenatti/Mrs. Jiminy Glick, 2020!
Martin Simpson 