I haven’t done this in a while, but now that August has begun, let’s take a totally subjective, unscientific look back at the best and worst of July.
I’ll get the worst out of the way in this column, and then I’ll cover the ‘best of’ in a day or two.
1.Early in July, the two towering intellects of Chris “his brother was worse” Cuomo and Don Lemon were bemoaning the way that most Americans don’t know enough history, and aren’t willing to think deeply about how many statues should be taken down.
No, really. That was a thing that happened. Don Lemon and Fredo, complaining that people should know more things before they talk.
Then Lemon, not content to have demonstrated that he is an economic and political dunce, proved that he’s a three-tool player — okay, sure: a three-tool tool — by showing that he’s a theological dunce as well.
Quoth the Lemon, “Jesus Christ, if that’s who you believe in… admittedly was not perfect when he was here on this earth. So why are we deifying the founders of this country?”
Now I don’t want to split hairs, but Citrus-for-brains is not dealing with some obscure point of theology here. This isn’t, “What’s the difference between the Anabaptists and Baptists?” or “What do the different beasts in Revelation symbolize?”
This is kind of an important point in Christian theology. As in, there wouldn’t BE Christian theology if Christians didn’t believe that Christ was perfect.
Worse still, Lemon compounds his mistake by arguing the opposite of a logical point. It makes sense to say that our founding fathers weren’t perfect, so yes, we shouldn’t deify them. But you know who we SHOULD deify? The DEITY! (Cue Sam Kinison, from heaven: “OH! OOOOHHHH!)
What can you say about Don Lemon? Other than, “Forgive him Father, because he knows not…“ any single thing, I guess.
2. Toward the end of the month, Barack Obama gave us the occasion for another round of “Stupid or Liar?” — Adam Carolla’s party game that involves guessing whether a horrible politician is being the former or the latter.
In Barry O’s case, the question arises from his politicizing a funeral with a bunch of leftist talking points and lies. (But I repeat myself.) John Lewis, once an impressive civil rights leader (but sadly, in recent decades a mediocre pol more given to race baiting than racial healing) died recently, and Obama spoke at the funeral.
After a little rhetorical throat-clearing about what a great guy Lewis was, Obama unleashed a graceless political attack on Trump and conservatives. A particular lowlight was this little nugget of dishonesty, braised with bad faith, and glazed with malice: “Bull Connor might be gone, but today we witness with our own eyes, police officers kneeling on the necks of Black Americans. George Wallace may be gone, but we can witness our federal government sending agents to use tear gas and batons against peaceful demonstrators.”
Let us never forget – like we must never forget that Grandma Squanto, though she is as white as Obama’s super-white mother, made an academic and now political career out of pretending to be an Indian (#wemustneverstopmockingher) – that Bull Connor and George Wallace were Democrats. Just like the founders of the Klan. Just like the bigots who created and enforced Jim Crow laws, and turned water hoses on black folks, and sicced dogs on them.
All Democrats.
Also, no federal agents are using tear gas and batons against “peaceful demonstrators.”
So is Obama stupid enough to not recognize that there is a difference between peaceful demonstrators and violent, thug-filled mobs attacking federal buildings with incendiary devices and purposely blinding federal cops? Or is he just a racial arsonist liar?
I’m going with big fat liar on this one. And once again, I am so grateful that this small, small man is no longer our president.
3. In an enraging and yet highly entertaining confrontation, the Democrat brain trust in the House finally got their chance to go toe-to-toe with AG Bill Barr, and really grill him.
Of course, he immediately rhetorically stomped on their toes, which caused them to hop around spraying themselves with the lighter fluid that they’d brought for the grilling, then set themselves on fire. When the flames spread to their pants, they pulled those off and ran around shrieking and trying to beat out the flames like a bunch of hysterical, bottomless Nadlers.
Which was about as pretty as it sounded. And which also explains why you can go into restaurants all over this great nation and get grilled tuna, chicken, steak and shrimp, but you will never EVER find a place that offers grilled Nadler. Because, yuck.
I’m sure you’re all aware of how badly all of the Dem inquisitors acted. One after the other, they rolled out a series of sleazy and delusional attacks – Barr is a murderer, federal storm troopers are brutalizing peaceful protestors, etc. – and then interrupted Barr’s attempts to answer them.
In what was supposed to be a hearing, they made mendacious speeches, and then as soon as Barr started to mop the floor with them by responding, they stuck their fingers in their ears and shrieked, “Reclaiming my time, reclaiming my time!”
I’ve chosen one short interaction, just because I think it sums up the Dems’ shabby behavior throughout.
This exchange happened when Dem congresswoman Lucy McBath of Georgia had the floor. She blathered on for 375 words, taking up 2 minutes and 52 seconds. Most of what she said was partisan question begging (Obamacare is great, and represents the only chance we have “to be able to live in this country freely with quality healthcare) or source-free nonsense. She closed by playing the emotion card, saying that as a two-time breast cancer survivor, she is just the sort of sick American that the Bad Orange Man doesn’t care about.
Barr responded by deftly seeing her cancer-victim card, and raising her: “I have two children who are cancer survivors, so I feel very strongly about this issue as a matter of policy. And I believe that the president’s made clear that he will ensure—”
After Barr had spoken those 33 words in 13 seconds, McBath interrupted him. “Sir, please answer my question. Will you stop playing politics with Americans’ health care in the middle of a pandemic?”
Barr then spoke 15 words, the first four of which were, “I’m not playing politics,” before she starts CAWing over him again.
To sum up: leftist hack uses nearly 3 minutes to make a bad-faith attack posing as a question. Barr opens with a little cancer story jui jitsu, and she can only allow him 13 seconds before she has to interrupt him with a political “When did you stop beating your wife?” question.
Ugh. I know, Trump has some outsized flaws, and someone should monitor his tweets before they are sent, and the congressional GOP are mostly spineless mopes who aren’t fit to carry Ronald Reagan’s briefing book.
But the national Democrats are absolutely, metaphysically, existentially awful. Their standard bearer is barely functional, their congressional leadership is morally and intellectually bankrupt, and their left wing (which appears to constitute around 90% of their national leadership) hates this country and wants to burn it to the ground.
In November, they’re coming to kill cops and censor speech and chew gluten-free, locally sourced bubble gum, and they’re all out of bubble gum.
I’m praying that enough Americans recognize the threat that the leftist mob poses to our country and our future, but right now the outcome seems far from certain.
Hey, Happy Monday, folks! I know that sounded grim, but some good things happened in July too, and I’ll get to them in a day or two. In the meantime…
Avenatti/Bottomless Nadlers 2020!
Martin Simpson 