I’m about to make a trip up north, to see my mom in TN, and then to hang with some cousins and see some leaves changing in IL. So I thought I’d post a few random thoughts before I go:
In the last two weeks, Joe Biden has done the following: said that he’s “a proud Democrat running for the Senate,” forgotten Mitt Romney’s name, and forgot what state he was in. He said that he got his start at a historically black college, and also spent a lot of Sundays in a black church when he was a teenager. He also said that the American voters “don’t deserve to know” whether he’s going to pack the Supreme Court if he gets elected. (Spoiler alert: he is definitely going to pack the court if he gets elected.)
On the upside, he didn’t say that the long-dead Tupac is his favorite living rapper, or that he fondly remembers when his job training involved sneaking around and snuggling with creepy old married Willie Brown. (If by “snuggling” you mean… something much more terrible than snuggling.)
So he’s got that going for him.
If they hadn’t already won the Lifetime Achievement Award for Orwellian Scheisse-Shoveling, I would nominate the Dems and MSM (but I repeat myself) for this year’s award in that category. Their offense against common sense and clear language this time? Redefining what it means to “pack the court.”
For the last several centuries, every sentient mammal in Christendom has understood “packing the court” to refer to what happens when a president who can’t get his way legislatively or judicially arbitrarily adds a bunch of judges to a court that has had 9 members on it since Nancy Pelosi was a young lass, in the early 19th century. (See, “FDR,” and look for the entry right before “packing the internment camps with innocent Japanese Americans”.)
Now that the late Joe Biden wants to do that next year — if a wrathful God allows him to be elected, to punish us for our sins – the MSM must run cover for his sleazy behavior. So the memo went out: starting now, we’re going to say that “packing the court” no longer means packing the court. Now it means filling all judicial vacancies by means of nominating and confirming judges for those vacancies, the way the Founding Fathers set out for us in the constitution.”
Got that? Getting elected, and then doing what the constitution says you are supposed to do when you are elected, is now “packing the court.” In the same sense that the Jordan-era Bulls “packed the win/loss record” by winning many, many basketball games. Like they were supposed to.
My favorite arschaffen of the group was Dem senatorial candidate from Montana Steve Bollocks, who during a debate said that he’d support packing the court as a way to “depoliticize” it. Because nothing says “let’s get the politics out of this” like changing the rules to benefit your political party, after playing by the rules has resulted in your losing!
Sorry, that’s Bullock. Steve Bullock.
I watched about 8 minutes of Richard “everybody secretly calls him Dick” Blumenthal questioning ACB, and holy moly! That guy’s SFPI (Simpson Face Punchability Index) is off the charts, and I’m always going to respect ACB just for not leaping across the room and pummeling his bad-faith-question-asking-posterior from here to Sunday.
Also, the spectacle of someone like Dick Bloom (as I’m assuming he was called back when he perennially had the lowest GPA in the frat house) trying to interrogate and match wits with the estimable ACB was a sight to behold. If there has ever been an IQ gap that large in one room, I’ll eat my Martacus-style Roman helmet.
Do you remember the musk ox with a learning disability whom I mentioned in my last column? Well watching ACB try to explain even the basics of constitutional law to the Dickster was like watching Einstein trying to explain relativity to that musk ox’s slower buddy, the furry highland cow who just emerged from the concussion protocol tent.
Yes, the furry highland cow is a real animal. Here’s a picture of one. Now try to imagine explaining Marbury vs. Madison to him, and you’ll have some idea of what ACB had to endure.
By the way, my favorite moment of ACB goodness was when John Cornyn mentioned that all of the empty-suit Senate interrogators have notebooks filled with prepared facts and questions, and he asked her what documents she had to refer to. ACB held up a small notepad to the camera, smiling. Cornyn said, “Is there anything on it?”
And she said, “The letterhead that says, ‘United States Senate.’”
Cut to Crazy Mazie Hirono looking surprised, because she had used her US Senate note pad as toilet-paper, and then to wipe the rabies foam from the corners of her mouth. In that order.
Meanwhile, Dick Blumenthal surreptitiously crossed both arms over his briefing book, which contained pages of crayon drawings of Frankenstein and Godzilla fighting Batman.
A CSPAN camera caught the piece of paper on top of his book. It contained a stick figure labeled, “You,” and 12 single-word thought bubbles that together made this sentence: “Ask mean lady why she wants to force ladies to have babies.”
God bless ACB, and I wish her many happy decades on the Supreme Court!
Now I’m going to hit the roads of this beautiful country, and listen to some books on cd and some podcasts while I drive toward cooler temperatures and changing scenery. I’m going to visit with some amazing family members – along with one Biden-voting cousin (someone’s got to be the musk ox at the garden party!) whom I dearly love anyway – and I’m going to watch some football and walk through some autumn woods and enjoy God’s creation.
Please don’t let everything fall apart while I’m gone!
Avenatti/Frequently-concussed Furry Highland Cow 2020!
Martin Simpson 