Joe Biden Needs a Photo Cheat Sheet to Talk to Reporters (posted 4/19/21)

I just saw a Steven Crowder podcast from two weeks ago, and he covered Biden’s press conference from shortly before that.  This was the one where a reporter asked a question about gun control, and Biden gave a rambling answer about infrastructure, because that was the order that the question was supposed to be in. 

And no “reporter” in the room, or “commentator” the next day, mentioned that obvious fact.

But that’s not the scary part.  The scary part was when a camera from the side of the stage caught Biden’s prep sheet, as he was holding it.  Because it didn’t just have a list of the reporters’ names, and the order he was supposed to call on them.

It had little pictures of each reporter.  Pictures!  Because the “leader of the free world” – and never have scare quotes been any scarier than that! – needs a little photographic cheat sheet to identify who he’s talking to when they’re right. In. Front. Of. Him.

I first saw the equivalent of this move maybe 15 years ago, when I noticed that McDonalds had removed the names of their menu items from the surface of the employee kiosks and replaced them with pictures of those items.  Because, presumably, identifying a Big Mac from the words “Big” and “Mac” was too tall of an order for some of the adolescent front-line McDonalds workers.   

At the time I noted that as another ominous red flag, warning of our impending social collapse. 

By the way, I keep a list of these red flags from around the world.  And yes, I will share a few of them with you now:

When you have to put barbed wire around your freeway signs to keep feral vandals from tagging them… that’s a red flag.  (Hat tip to Adam Carolla, beleaguered LA resident.)

When your city creates a “poop map” app to help your citizens avoid walking through the piles of human Schumer (HA!) that cover much of your town… that’s a red flag.

When your nation’s name starts with “People’s Republic of”… that’s a red flag.

When your nation’s flag has an AK-47 on it… that’s a red flag. (I’m looking at you, East Timor, Zimbabwe, Burkina Faso and Mozambique.)

Sidebar: Those are all cool country names, even if you’d never want to be caught Biden in any one of them. 

Sorry, that’s “caught dead.”  You’d never want to be caught dead in any one of them.

Also, it turns out that 3 of the 4 have an AK-47 and a hoe on their flag, for some reason.  

I am not making up.  Go ahead and Google “AK-47 and a hoe,” if you don’t believe me.

Sure, the first four entries that will come up will involve Hunter Biden’s hotel escapades.  But eventually you will get to those countries’ flags, and you will be ashamed that you ever doubted me.

We now return you to our hilarious list of red flags, already in progress…

When your national leader always appears in public wearing a chest full of medals, even though he’s never served in the military… that’s a red flag.

When your nation’s flag is a red flag… that’s a red flag.  (HA!  Take that, commie dictatorships.)

And when, as noted above, your nation’s restaurant workers require a picture of the food you are ordering to achieve a 52% chance of actually completing your order correctly… that’s a red flag.

But do you know the reddest of all possible red flags?  When the president of your country requires a sheet with pictures and names of the people in front of him… that’s a red freaking flag!

I can only look forward to Joey Gaffes’ next press conference, when he mumbles his way through some elementary talking points, and then goes to his reporter cheat sheet again:

Biden’s ghost:  “Well… uh…time for questions.”  (looks down for 3 solid minutes before he can identify anything on his sheet.)  “Um… Big Mac, you’ve got the first question.

Campaign flunky (sidling up to Biden and whispering from the corner of her mouth): “That’s the McDonalds menu you’re going to be using for lunch.”   

Biden’s ghost:  “What?  You mean… Mac’s not here?  I hope he’s all right.”

Flunky:  “Mac’s not a person, it’s a sandwich.”

Biden’s ghost: “A sandwich?  I’m not explaining my fallen papacy to a sandwich!”

Flunky:  “That’s ‘foreign policy.’   And the guy over there isn’t a sandwich.  The Big Mac is a sandwich.  And that’s not your cheat sheet, that’s a menu.”

Biden’s ghost: “A menu?  Does this mean that I’m not calling on ‘Large Order of Fries’ for a gun question?”

Flunky: “No.”

Biden’s ghost: “How about ‘Hot Apple Pie’?  She’s supposed to ask about the border.”

Flunky (tearing the menu out of Biden’s hand): “Read from the next sheet!”

Biden’s ghost: “Okay, let’s see here….  ‘Asian Schoolgirl (must have pigtails) and a Cardi B look-alike, around the world for one hour, with two bumps of meth and a dusting of fentanyl, $2500, not including the room.”

Flunky (leaping back to Biden and grabbing the paper from his hand): “That’s Hunter’s cheat sheet!”

And, scene.

In other news, Imhotep Pelosi – Mistress of the Nile, and Non-wearer of a Mask in a Salon – was asked in a USA interview what she would have done if she hadn’t been evacuated on January 6th, and had encountered the band of knuckleheads at the Capitol.

Saith the Botoxed Boudica (look that one up – history is fun!), “Well, I’m pretty tough. I’m a street fighter. They would have had a battle on their hands.”

She’s pretty tough all right.  Beef-jerky tough, as if her internal organs had been removed and her skin had been left to dry out in a stone chamber at the base of a pyramid for 2300 years.  The last street fight she was involved in happened on the mean streets of the Valley of the Kings, when Akhenaten was battling his rivals for control of the Euphrates. 

Plus she’s against a border wall while she lives inside a walled estate, and she doesn’t want potential victims of rioting Biden voters to have guns, while she’s surrounded by armed guards at all times. 

Have you no shame, Nancy?  Blink once for yes, and twice for no, you facially paralyzed old ghoul.

I don’t care for her at all, is what I’m saying.

In a completely unsurprising, dog-bites-man story, James O’ Keefe’s Project Veritas has caught a Technical Director at CNN named Charlie Chester – pretty jaunty name, for a mendacious, Democracy-hating creep – admitting that his horrible network purposely put out propaganda to get Trump out of office. 

“Look what we did,” said this sleazeball, “we got Trump out.”

You can watch the whole video, during which he made at least a dozen statements that would get any employee who worked for any reputable news organization fired immediately.  But since Charlie works for CNN, he’ll probably get a raise. 

I wouldn’t be surprised if he rises through the ranks and someday takes over for CNN boss Jeffrey “Giant Dishonest Human Thumb with Glasses” Zucker.  (Google a pic of him and tell me I’m wrong.)

Regardless of which political side you are on, Project Veritas is doing valuable work, and the attempts to silence them are disgusting.   O’Keefe is actually doing the kind of work that honest journalists used to do, and the fact that he keeps scooping them, and then they try to suppress him, tells you everything you need to know about our terrible MSM.

But lest you think that all the news has been bad lately… Bernie Madoff died in prison last week.

Finally.

But even a feel-good story like that has a bitter side to it; think about the unfairness of our Tale of Two Bernies.

Compared to Bernie Sanders, Madoff was cut down in the flower of his youth – he was just a spry 82, and thus 27 years Bernie Sanders’ junior.

Madoff only ripped off thousands of people for billions of dollars.  Bernie Sanders and his party – along with a disheartening number of GOP idiots, too – has ripped off hundreds of millions of people for trillions of dollars in way less time than it took Madoff to do his damage.

And Madoff went to prison, while Sanders and his ilk remain free to plague our society, unabated. 

It’s already been a long 4 years, and it’s only been 12 weeks.  

Avenatti/Botox Boudica 2024!

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