I’m on the road visiting family in TN and IL, so I’ve mercifully missed most of the news for the last several days. But on the downside, I’ve had time to think about the news of the past fortnight or so. And I’m sure I’ve come to the same conclusion that most of you have:
Someone get a Ouija board, because we need to contact Joe Biden right away, and find out what he was thinking during that European trip and meeting with Putin.
But how could it have gone any other way, when our government attempted to do its version of taking Bernie to the beach house to party with the college kids, despite the fact that he’s dead. Only in this case, we took ol’ Posthumous Joe to the G-7, stuck the aviator glasses on his empty old head, and wheeled him around to meet all the cool kids. And now they’re going to trash our beach house.
If by “beach house” you mean our foreign policy. And our domestic policy. And maybe parts of North America itself.
Good lord that trip was nothing but lowlights, unless you’re Putin!
In no particular order:
Several times, “Dr.” Jill had to lead him around by the hand, mostly away from anyone who might want to ask him a question, or when he was heading into a broom closet where he would have otherwise gotten himself trapped.
He snapped at the few reporters who asked him anything close to an actual question.
He delivered what might be one of the dumbest talking points since Chamberlain bragged about Hitler giving his word and ensuring “peace in our time.” While trying to illustrate how tough he’d been with Putin, Biden said, “I talked about the proposition that certain critical infrastructure should be off limits to attack — period — by cyber or any other means.” He went on to say that he specifically listed 16 bits of US infrastructure that Putin was forbidden to hit.
To which every nervous American over the age (and IQ) of 8 said, “So, does this mean everything else is fair game?”
The stupidity of that is hard to exaggerate, although it does seem to parallel recent Dem policies on crime. They’ve told criminals that they better not steal more than $900 worth of merchandise or they’ll be arrested. So criminals are stocking up on stolen goods in the $850-899 range.
They’ve told criminals that victimizing black and brown folks is unacceptable, but crimes against Asians and whites, not so much.
I imagine that Putin opponent Alexei Navalny, whom Putin allegedly poisoned (if by “allegedly” you mean “certainly”) probably wasn’t pleased with Biden’s approach to his case. Joe told Vlad that using any poison on Navalny that affects his Adam’s apple, pancreas, or humerus bone will not be tolerated!
Putin said, “So nerve agents that paralyze the lungs and cause a fatal bout of choking are okay?”
Biden said, “You heard me! No pancreas, and lay off his Adam’s apple!”
Navalny just made choking noises.
I guess Biden’s performance could have been worse. He could have challenged Putin to a push-up contest.
In which case Putin would have snarled, “Dah,” and dropped and gave him 50. Then Biden would have gotten into position, and lowered himself to the ground while his aides looking on in horror.
Then, after 10 minutes of no movement at all, someone would have called a doctor to put a mirror in front of his face. And then declare that the time of death was sometime in early 2015.
And then a hasty ceremony would happen in DC, during which the mobile airport staircase that defeated Biden back in January would be inaugurated our 46th president.
And most of the nation would breathe a huge sigh of relief.
But let’s not end on such a down note. Not when Juneteenth has passed, giving our federal workforce one more holiday per year. And as we all know, when our federal government is not working, less damage is done.
I’m not thrilled with the nonsense word, “Juneteenth,” though. Not when there is a less confusing and more accurate name for it: “Thank Republicans for defeating Democrats and freeing their Slaves Day.”
Avenatti/Mobile Airport Staircase 2024!