Amidst the grim news this week – Trudeau demonstrates a taste for excessive force against peaceful protestors; Putin may or may not invade Ukraine, but our prez sent Que Mala to Europe, so… take that, Vlad! – I enjoyed the lighter side of a couple of Dems floundering.
Let’s start with everyone’s favorite ex-bartender, AOC, who decided that she’d like to go a couple of rounds on Twitter with Ted Cruz, and got royally spanked. (Which, if that had happened more often when she was 4 or 5, she may not have turned into the entitled ignoramus she has so obviously become.)
First she posted a video of herself dancing with some other activist, and tweeted that “Ted Cruz could never.” In light of her previous idiotic tweet to the effect that GOP pols only snipe at her because they want to date her, several posters quickly made the obvious and funny response: it looks like AOC has a crush on Ted Cruz.
But Cruz proved once again that he’s a metaphorical Triple Crown winner compared to the none-too-bright little filly that is AOC.
And that’s not a horse joke about her teeth. Because I’m too classy for that.
(Also, because if I were to make a horse joke about AOC , it would involve the idea that every time conservatives propose a policy to stop the damage that far left Dems are doing, she votes, “Neigh.”)
Anyway, Cruz’s response was only two words, but they were well-chosen. Because in her video, the three nobodies around her were masked up, while AOC was bare-faced.
Cruz ignored the jab, and went for the jugular: “Nice mask.”
In round 2, Cruz used her words against her. He posted a series of tweets from a year ago, in which he had claimed that the Dems wanted to give some covid relief funds, along with other taxpayer money, to illegal aliens, along with an avalanche of tweets from Dems and their MSM water-carriers calling him a liar and a racist, and saying that his claims were baseless slander.
And then he posted AOC’s clueless short video from this week, in which she proudly bragged that she had “fought hoof and mouth” to help “huge amounts” of illegals in her district get federal Covid stimulus checks.
Sorry, that’s “tooth and nail,” not “hoof and mouth.” Honest mistake.
On the one hand, if the twitter battle between AOC and Cruz were a fight, the refs would have stopped it in the first round. Because that contest is about as lopsided as the one between Brandon and Putin. Or between Brandon and the voter in Iowa whom he called “fat.”
Or between Brandon and the mop and bucket he mistook for Corn Pop, the last time he wondered into a White House broom closet.
On the other hand, to paraphrase my anonymous Canadian hero’s comment about Fidel Trudeau, “Let her keep tweeting – she’s not good at it!”
My second-favorite read this week came from an NBC article that featured many panicked Dems giving advice to Biden on how to fix his administration’s myriad problems. And it was just the kind of farcical, Keystone Commies cluster-schtup that you’d expect.
According to the article, “Suggestions range from picking a handful of high-stakes fights with Republicans to elevating Cabinet secretaries to altering his inner circle by addition, subtraction or both.”
Brilliant! Let’s pick an issue that is killing us in the polls and “pick a high-stakes fight with the GOP” about it. Maybe we can call them out because they don’t want to let millions of illegals into the country, or defund the police, or teach our kids to hate our horrible, racist country. That should turn things around!
I especially love the idea that the solution is for Biden to fire a few underlings. One anonymous progressive said that canning a top aide like Ron Klain, “would send a signal to the public that Biden understands something has to change.”
Then, in an actual quote that I can only attribute to what must be a crippling meth addiction, the goofy dope said, “Biden’s the star quarterback, and you can’t fire the star quarterback, so you start looking at the head coach and the offensive coordinator and the defensive coordinator.”
This genius obviously doesn’t know how analogies work. Because if you have an actual star quarterback, why would you want to fire him?!
Can anyone hear, “Joe Biden” and “star quarterback” in the same sentence without doing a spit take, vomiting on their shoes, or face-palming themselves into a mild concussion?
If Biden were a quarterback, he’d make Blaine Gabbert look like Tom Brady. He’d walk down a line of cheerleaders, rubbing their shoulders, sniffing their hair, and creeping them out.
Then he’d walk onto the field… and straight into the other team’s defensive huddle. When his own players pulled him to their side of the line, he’d gather them around, saying, “Okay, humble up. I mean, Hubble Telescope. You know… you know the thing!”
Ron Klain would say, “Do you mean “huddle up’?”
“That’s what I said, cuddle up. C’mon, man!”
Then he’d look at the laminated sheet of plays on his right forearm for an uncomfortably long time. When someone finally cleared his throat, Biden would jump in surprise, then say, “Okay, I’ll have the Denver omelette with hash browns.”
“Sir, that’s not a play.”
“What? Oh, okay. Let’s go with Death of a Salesman.”
“That’s not a football play.”
“You’re being a wise guy with me, aren’t you?”
I hope the Dems keep this up. Because half of the problem is Biden, and the other half is that their policies are a steaming pile of class envy and racial hatred, braised with hubris and served on a bed of economic illiteracy.
And no amount of tossing minions under the bus is going to change that.
On the other hand, to quote the immortal Curly Howard, “It can’t hoit.”
I’d suggest starting with Fauci.
It’s been a long four years, and it’s only been 55 weeks.