Three quick stories today, and they’re all pretty positive. Because even in the midst of this train wreck/dumpster fire/Hindenburg disaster of an administration, we’re all cautious optimists up in here.
First, I’d like to lavish a little praise on the Brits.
Sure, they’ve made a few mistakes through the years. Dressing your troops in bright red coats and having them stand in straight lines in open fields while surrounded by woods crawling with Simpsons with Kentucky long rifles comes to mind. (Do you want to lose a continent to a bunch of stubborn rustics with a little something I call grit? Because THIS is how you lose a continent to a bunch of stubborn rustics with a little something I call grit.)
But one thing I’ve always admired about them is the way they let their prime ministers speak to parliament, surrounding by the other politicians who are allowed to holler and jeer at them.
Compare that to our congress. When Obama was giving a dishonest speech touting Obamacare and insisted that it would not force American taxpayers to foot the bill for the care of illegal immigrants, one GOP member called out, “You lie!” (Spoiler alert: Obama was absolutely lying. Of course.)
And every Dem partisan and MSM empty head – but I repeat myself – began shrieking through the dresses that they’d pulled up over their heads, and ran for the nearest fainting couch.
Now I ask you, is that any way for a great country to behave? Shouldn’t it be our right as free citizens to have our elected representatives mock and heckle our leaders when they are spouting dishonest nonsense?
Well, the Brits have answered “yes” to that question, and God bless ‘em.
But I hadn’t realized until the past week that the Canadians have the same tradition. But there was Blackface McSnowflake Trudeau in the Canadian parliament, being dressed down on his anti-scientific covid mandates and lockdowns by an opposition party lady.
So Trudeau gets up to answer. (And by the way, does that guy give off a Gavin Newsom, Ken Doll, smooth-plastic-genitalia-area vibe, or what?) And within the first sentence, he’s already lying his hoser hindquarters off at full highway speed: “Mr. Speaker, every step of the way we’ve had Canadians’ backs by following the science. By working closely–”
But by that point, my soul-mates in America’s Hat are scoffing loudly, and he turns around and sits down, pouting.
And then, in what has to be a top 5 political moment in the history of Canada – sure, I can’t name any of the other 4… because it’s Canada – the guy in charge tries to quiet the crowd so that the blow-dried castrato can resume his lying.
Above the chorus of mockery, a lone opposition voice can be heard above the others: “Let him answer – he’s not good at it!”
Perfect! Those words have been echoing in my head for the last week, and if they don’t describe the elite lefties’ (in Canada and America) governance over the last 14 months, I don’t know what does.
I’m always going to think of that whenever I see Biden sliding into incoherent word salad, or Que Mala stumbling over herself and then laughing maniacally, or AOC excreting inanities that shave IQ points off of anyone unfortunate enough to hear her: “Let them answer – They’re not good at it!”
That should be our campaign theme for the next several elections, and yet another reason to defend freedom of speech, and to NOT censor our opponents, whether in debates, or public speeches, or on their execrable talk shows and news networks.
The more they explain themselves and their policies, the better off we are.
Because they are NOT good at it!
The second tale today is a feel-good crime story that comes to us out of Michigan, where a 32-year-old convicted sex offender named Aian Tracy was out among the public on February 10th. (Apparently the hospital was having a sale on vowels when his mom was picking out a first name for this creep.)
His last conviction was for third-degree criminal sexual conduct in 2015. I’m not sure what that is exactly, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that he should have been in jail for many years. But he was given 5 years probation instead. So yay, soft-on-crime justice system!
Fortunately for Michiganders from 2015 – 19, “Dick” Tracy couldn’t leave well enough alone and “violated the terms of his probation.” Don’t know what that means either, but it got him 4 years in jail. (I know: the original crime should have gotten him 10 years, at least.)
Anyway, he gets out and goes straight, never causing anyone any harm ever again. The end.
HA! I kid.
Because on February 10th he was doing something bad to a woman with two kids – the crime reporting is vague – and she called the cops. When the cops arrived, he pulled out the hatchet he was carrying – as one does – and attacked the cops with it, wounding one in the neck before they shot him with what I can only hope was many, many bullets.
Sadly, he died… at least 7 years too late.
I know what you are thinking, because I’m thinking it too: What are we going to do about all of these hatchets? Many of them doubtless ghost hatchets, bought in Indiana from shady, unlicensed hatchet dealers. They’re going crazy, with the unregulated whacking and the chopping.
And don’t get me started on the scalping… no offense, Grandma Squanto Warren, but what about the scalping? (#wemustneverstopmockingher).
Who will introduce the long-overdue hatchet-control bill on the floor of the house? Because I haven’t looked into it yet, but I’m quite sure that women and minorities are being hardest hit by the Tomahawk Scourge™
Oh, won’t someone think of the children? The traumatized, hatchet-mangled children?!
Second, what does it take to be thrown in jail forever in this country?
I mean, beside walking around inside a government building in a set of buffalo horns like a drunken tourist for half an hour? Obviously that guy is what happens if Bin Laden and Dillinger’s ghosts identified as a living heterosexual couple and had a baby, so definitely throw the book at him.
But for anyone other than him, how many repeated sex offenses and other felonies does it take?
On the bright side – I’m here at Cautious Optimism, people – if that creep had been in jail where he belonged, those cops wouldn’t have had the opportunity to shoot him dead.
So let’s take our wins where we can get them. And good riddance, Mr. Last of the Mohicans!
Finally a story that is at least a little bitter, but mostly sweet. By now the data is in, and it’s clear that masking is basically “facial decoration” (according to the CDC!), and that kids in particular pay a high price for being masked, with no corresponding health benefits.
But the left is doing their best to hang on to mask mandates, with teacher union head – and all around terrible human – Randi Weingarten leading the way. Democrat Boston Mayor Michelle Wu – as in, “Wooo, is she not smart!” – may have summarized it best, when she claimed that, “Kids want to keep masking!”
Now, for an alternative take from the real world, I give you this video of a Las Vegas elementary school classroom when the teacher announced that the mask mandate had been lifted: https://www.bizpacreview.com/2022/02/11/elementary-kids-dance-with-joy-hearing-the-end-of-mask-mandate-and-win-the-internet-1200113/
Man, does watching that video do my heart good! I’ve watched it a dozen times, and I love everything about it.
I love the immediate, ear-piercing screams, and the spontaneous burst into applause and frenzy. I love the way it recreates the Charlie Brown Christmas special, in which each kid has his or her own dance.
The girl in the front starts doing jumping jacks, then transitions to hopping in place. The boy on the right picks up his chair and looks like he might toss it through a window. In the background one girl raises both hands over her head and sprints around the room shouting.
One kid does some kind of Peewee Herman-esque move, one does the Dougie, and the girl in the sweat pants whips off her mask and starts twirling it over head, then starts some kind of swinging her hips and pointing at the sky with both hands thing.
THAT’S how kids are supposed to act! That’s what being young means.
Not being bullied into following baseless orders that are justified only by the neurotic fears of totalitarian adults and the mania for control of totalitarian politicians. And yes, I’m looking at you, Stacey Abrams, with a self-satisfied smile plastered over your unmasked, bowling-ball head, while you’re surrounded by a bunch of powerless kids who’ve been forced into masks.
The only way this video could have been any better is if — after the teacher’s final rhetorical question, “Is anybody excited?!” — she had said, “Let’s go Brandon!!” to the even more manic cheering of those adorable kids.
Avenatti/ the ghost of Aian “Dick” Tracy, 2024!
Martin Simpson 