I Have Some Thoughts on Crime & Guns, Again! (posted 7/25/22)

First, I have to offer a mea culpa for missing a sitter at the net in my column last Friday. 

When writing about AOC’s knuckleheadedness, I mentioned that she had praised her own backside, and also that she had achieved a blackbelt in hypocrisy by whining about a troll annoying her, after she had cheered on the creeps who have been harassing and threatening Supreme Court justices with whom she disagrees.

I did not, somehow, mention that she had pretended to wear handcuffs when she was momentarily detained.  (I think the charge was “Public Jackassery in the First Degree.” But I’m only a humble country lawyer, so I could be wrong about that.)  

I can only blame the meds I was on for my dental trauma that day.  That’s not an excuse, just a reason.

Anyway, my favorite part about that publicity stunt came when AOC was pretending to be handcuffed, and she saw a bunch of her low-IQ supporters.  She forgot that you can’t raise your hand when you’re handcuffed… so she raised her hand (in a raised-fist salute) when she was pretending to be handcuffed.

Cue the sad trombone.  And bring forth the dunce cap for our most entertaining congress-doofus.

A few quick gun stories:

In Minneapolis last Wednesday, a man named Andrew Sundberg fired a number of shots into the apartment of Arabella Foss-Yarbrough and her two kids, leaving holes in the door and several walls.  Cops showed up and tried to talk him into disarming and surrendering, but he refused, and they eventually had to shoot him dead.

Despite his name, Sundberg was a black man, adopted by white parents.

So naturally, BLM protestors paraded around his neighborhood, protesting his death.  They put candles and flowers on the sidewalk, and loudly denounced racism.

That was too much for Arabella, who came out and counter-screamed at the protestors, “This is not okay!  My kids have to deal with this now… they almost lost their lives.  There’s bullet holes in my kitchen.”

Morons in the crowd, rather than feeling rightly ashamed of themselves, heckled this traumatized woman.  Several of them yelled, “You’re lying!” and “Shut up!”  One idiot, when Arabella said that she and her kids were almost killed, repeated, “You’re alive.”  

I have a rich fantasy life.  And before you ask, it does not have anything to do with AOC’s allegedly large booty.

No, in my fantasy, Arabella would have raced up to that jerk and kicked him directly in the groin (small target, I’m guessing), and as he writhed on the ground, she would have said, “You’re alive, aren’t you?”  Then she could have kicked him in the ribs, followed by punching him a dozen times, stopping between each well-deserved shot to ask whether he was still alive.

Then she would have waded into the crowd like Christ vs. the Money Changers, and sent the entire sorry crowd of racial arsonists running for their lives. 

Like I said, rich fantasy life.

But there was one gun story this week that I didn’t have to fantasize about.  This was the case of a would-be mass murderer in an Indiana mall.  He came out of a food court bathroom armed with two rifles, a pistol and over 100 rounds of ammunition, and started firing, killing three and wounding two.

He would have racked up a huge body count, if it weren’t for Elisjsha Dicken.  Despite his ridiculously spelled first name (c’mon, parents!), Eli was carrying a Glock handgun, and he was not Dicken around.  (I know: you’d think that one was beneath me.  But nope.)

Within 15 seconds of the gunman opening fire, Eli fired 10 times, scoring 8 hits and helping the gunman win the latest round of the “assuming room temperature” challenge.

And yes, you read that right: Eli started firing within 15 seconds.  At the 15-second mark, most of us in that situation would still be in the “let’s focus on maintaining control of my bowels” phase. 

So naturally, Eli was hailed as a hero…

…except in some corners of the left.   The cackling boneheads on the View, for example, got their granny panties in a bunch at the very thought of a good guy with a gun actually stopping a bad guy with a gun.

Joy(less) Behar called Eli’s taking out the trash “a lucky moment.”  Sunny Hostin also didn’t care for the way Eli saved the day: “He had a gun permit but he wasn’t supposed to be in the mall with a gun.  So he broke the law, even though he was a good Samaritan.”

Good lord!  Would you rather Eli had left his gun at home, so there would be 20 or 30 or 40 victims, Sunny? 

And in fact, it wasn’t illegal to have his gun in the mall, even though the mall had signs posted that they didn’t want guns in the mall.  Careful observers may have noted that the mall’s signs did NOT keep the bad guy from bringing 3 guns into the mall, including 2 long guns!

So I’d suggest that the mall owners quietly take their signs down, and thank God that Eli ignored them.

It wasn’t just the crone crew at the View who objected to Eli being called a good Samaritan.  A bunch of low-info lefties objected, but my favorite was CBS (Indy) traffic anchor Justin Kollar, who noted that in the relevant Bible passage, the Samaritan helped an injured man.  “I cannot believe we live in a world where the term can equally apply to someone killing someone… my God.”

And we can’t believe that someone who should be telling us if I-65 is backed up south of downtown thinks that we are interested in his Biblical exegesis.   

Also, most of us think that stopping a mass murderer is actually a good thing.  So why don’t you stick to reporting on the stalled Prius in the breakdown lane on 465 north, Skippy.  

One final happy note from this past week: the January 6th show trials had their last prime-time presentation for a while on Thursday night.  The ratings aren’t in yet, but I’m sure that both viewers were glued to their sets.

I haven’t been following closely, but as I understand it, not much new info has arrived.  Trump reacted badly, a small number of his supporters reacted badly, and the Dems are shameless showboaters.  Yep, got it, and duh!

Meanwhile, Liz Cheney has so beclowned herself that her only chance to win her GOP primary would be if she were running against Genital Warts.  (And that would probably have to go to a re-count.)  Unfortunately for her, she is running against an actual GOP woman, so she’s going to get stomped. 

On the other side of the aisle, Bennie Thompson is STILL claiming that the January 6th protestors killed a cop!  Which poses the eternal dilemma: is he stupid, or a liar? 

It would be one thing if Bennie was reporting on the death toll from the leftist/BLM/antifa riots of 2020.  If you tried to pin down how many they murdered, you could easily be off by one or two, since around several dozen were killed.

But in this case, the number killed is zero!  So being off by one is pretty significant.

Also, you’re one of the leaders of the brain-dead brigade carrying out this circus, and a hypothetical murdered cop would be by far the most significant result of that three-hour Armageddon! 

And the random citizen on the street who has followed this “trial” as much as it deserves – i.e. for 1-3 minutes – can tell you that the only one killed in the riot/protest was tiny, unarmed Ashley Babbitt. 

Somehow her white privilege did NOT make her bulletproof, as we’ve all been promised by racial arsonists like Bennie Thompson.  (Boy am I glad I learned that BEFORE I tried to knock over a liquor store.)

And yet Big Ben appears to not be aware of that.

Stupid or liar?  As in so many cases involving national Dems, I’ve got to go with both.

Avenatti/ Genital Warts, 2024!

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