Kamala at West Point, a Marine Gets Scapegoated, & Biden’s Cheat Sheets (posted 5/15/23)

I hope you all had a great Mother’s Day.  I posted a pic of me with my mom from a couple of years ago; you can see it on my site, listed at the bottom of this column.  She has come through her recent covid bout like a champ, so thanks for everyone’s good wishes.

First up today, I’ve got to give some gratitude and sympathy to our military. 

The US Military Academy was founded in 1802.  In the past 221 years, West Point has prepared generations of young Americans to face the rigors of combat and the horrors of war on several continents and against many determined enemies. 

But never have the cadets faced a challenge as daunting as the sword of Damocles hanging over their heads now. Because on May 27^th, the speaker at their graduation is going to be… brace yourselves…

Que Mala Harris.

May God have mercy on their souls.

On the bright side, if the cadets can survive this withering verbal assault, they should have no problems with ever being waterboarded, or captured by the Taliban.  In fact, given the choice, many of them would probably volunteer for both right now, if it would get them out of the doomed public-speaking equivalent of the Battle of Balaklava. 

(“Into the valley of rhetorical disaster/ rode the 600!  Theirs not to make reply/theirs not to reason why/ Theirs but to clap hands over their ears/ and pray to die…”)  

It’s been said that in the past, kings and emperors would take small doses of poison every day to build up an immunity that would protect them from attempted poisonings.  In that spirit, allow me to provide the cadets with a small, prophylactic dose of a simulated Que Mala speech.

Listen to it until your gag reflex kicks in, boys, and then listen to it again.  Because we want you on that wall.  We need you on that wall.  And in order to get onto that wall, you first have to power through the gibbering banalities of Identity-Hire Harris:

“As I speak to you now, currently, in this moment in time, on this beautiful day in May, we are all reminded of the significance of the month of May.  It is not only the month that comes after April.  It is also the month that comes before June, right?  Ha ha HA HA HA HAA!   It reminds us all, even as it carries with it the remembrance of many significant moments that we should recall, and that occur throughout this very significant month.

Moments such as May Day, and May 7^th.  And 29 other days in May.  We think of the maypole, and we should remember the memory of April showers bringing May flowers.  And even mayflies, right?  Ha ha HA HA HAA!  And we must all recall – including me, and you too, and your family, and many other people who aren’t with us today, along with those who are – that our forefathers first came here in the MAYflower.  Which is very significant, and filled with signification, especially when compared to the random fact that Brian May played guitar in the band “Queen.” 

I remember that when I was a young girl, riding the yellow school bus each day – weren’t those GREAT?! Ha ha HA HA HAAA! – we would all play a rousing game of “Mother May I?”  Which wasn’t really about the month of May, but was still incredibly significant…”

If you hear what sounds like a 21-gun salute during her speech, that is probably the sound of some of America’s best, shooting themselves in an extremity so that they can be discharged from the service that they’ve trained for their whole lives. 

Am I saying that this will be the first West Point graduating class in US history to be ravaged by PTSD before they ever step foot on a battlefield?

That is EXACTLY what I’m saying. 

Speaking of military heroes being put through unjustified persecution, the case of Daniel Penny – the Marine who put aggressive recidivist Jordan Neely into a submission hold on the NY subway, inadvertently causing his death – is the latest example of the perversity of leftist policy prescriptions.

Not “perversity” as in disordered men wanting to put on exhibitionist drag shows for children, or Biden nuclear officials posing with weirdos in dog costumes on leashes. Though there is plenty of that nonsense going on. 

I mean “perversity” just in the sense of defying basic logic and reason.  The kind of thing that an average person can look at and – without long study or unusual gifts in terms of IQ or formal study – confidently say, “There’s no way that can work!”

Ideas like, “if we teach people that they’re powerless victims, they’ll end up stronger and better off.” And, “if we take cops off the street and decrease penalties for crime, there will be less crime.”  And, “if we make it harder and more expensive to open a new business, we’ll see a boom in new businesses.”

Because leftist governance in NY has failed at every level, Daniel Penny was put in a no-win situation: wait and watch until a dangerous, ill man assaulted someone, or take action to prevent that. 

Because he tried to do the right thing, the Soros-funded creepy DA has charged him with manslaughter, and his freedom is now going to be in the hands of a New York jury.  While it’s possible that enough of them have been threatened by lunatics like Neely in the past, and might therefore rule correctly, nobody should have to take that gamble.

We should all have Penny’s back, and I’m heartened to see that many people do.  To date he’s received donations of over a million bucks to pay for his defense.  I hope his lawyer beats Alvin Bragg the way Jordan Neely used to beat senior citizens. 

But enough with paying tribute to our long-suffering military heroes.  Let’s heap some scorn on a few leftist clowns who are running into some hilarious trouble lately.

Although former GOP Massachusetts governor Charlie Baker says he’s not going to run for senate next year, a poll of Massholes (as they’re affectionately called) who voted heavily for Grandma Squanto Warren last time have said that if he does run, he’ll beat her by double digits. 

I’ll believe that when I see it, because as with all things Warren, I’ve got… reservations.  (#wemustneverstopmockingher)

But hope springs eternal, and I’d love to spend campaign season putting the “mock” in her moccasins, if there’s any chance that she can be taken down.

On the other coast, Cali governor Ken-Doll Haircut is realizing that the reparations trap that he set way back during the BLM riots of 2020 might be getting ready to snap shut on his featureless plastic genital area. 

Many far-left black folks apparently took him at his word when he promised reparations.  They’ve been holding raucous hearings during which they debate whether they should each get $500K, or $100 million, or eleventy-kajillion dollars.  (In case you haven’t seen that figure before, it’s the financial equivalent of “Juneteenth”: a made-up word that is going to do no one any good.)        

By the time the grievance mongers – not one of whom has an ancestor who was ever enslaved in CA, because there was no slavery in CA (if you don’t count what the Dems running that state are trying to do to taxpayers lately) – settled on $1.2 million each, ol’ Gavin was hiding out in his Barbie Dream House with the blinds drawn, not knowing whether to Schiff or wind his watch.

He’s flip-flopped multiple times in as many days, going from “We’re not looking at cash reparations,” to “I’m not ruling out cash reparations,” to “I’m sorry but I can’t hear your question because the Barbie Beach-Copter rotors are making so much noise and I have to leave now.”

It doesn’t help that in the last year – in between lectures to Ron DeSantis on how to be a good governor – he managed to turn a $100 billion surplus into a $32 billion deficit. So even if he wanted to pander to the grifters, there’s no money to pay for the TMCORBA (that’s right: the Tossing Mountains of Cash Onto a Racial Bonfire Act of 2023).

Don’t you let him get away with that, CA Dem voters!  You’re entitled to your 4000 acres and herd of mules, and you need to vote in 2024 against every lying lefty who promised you that.  Power to the (gullible, greedy) people!

You all saw that Biden recently got caught with his “cheat sheet” question card when calling on a “reporter” in what passes for a news conference with our posthumous prez.

Everybody rightly pointed out that the incident proved yet again what a corrupt bunch of meretrices (points for obscure Latin plural!) our corrupt MSM flunkies are.  (The judges would have also accepted “presstitutes,” though with no added points for the Latin plural.)

But my favorite detail was that Biden’s handlers had to put the “reporter’s” name AND PICTURE on the card.  The way you do with the menu items on McDonald’s cash registers to help the vape-addled, semi-literate teenager working his first shift to avoid staring blankly at the buttons, trying to figure out how many “k”s there are in “McChicken.”

And that brought to mind one of my previous favorite Biden-handling stories, which revealed that in the super-simple instruction sheets they give him, his identifiers are in all caps: “YOU shake the mayor’s hand; YOU walk to the podium,” etc. 

You just know that—

Sorry. YOU just know that that happened because Joe had been hopelessly confused by the earlier versions in which his instructions had appeared in lower case, like he was a functional adult or something.

I don’t even need to put on my conical, purple wizard hat to see that scene in my head as clearly as if I were there:

Joey Gaffes (to his closest handler): I can’t tell who’s doing what here.  This card says to shake the Cardinal’s hand, then walk to the podium, and then kiss the Pope’s ring.  

Handler: Yes.  You were supposed to do those things.

JG : How do I know that?  I thought maybe Dr. Jill was supposed to do that.

Handler: Why would we give you a card to tell you what Jill was supposed to do?

JG: “Doctor” Jill.

Handler (rolling his eyes): Why would your card say what “Dr. Jill” was supposed to do?  It literally says “You” do this or that.

JG:  Look, fat— Just put “YOU” in big letters so I don’t get mixed up. 

Handler:  Is that why you did what you just did?  Because your card didn’t say, “YOU don’t poop on the Pope?”

JG: C’mon man, the card didn’t even say not to poop on the Pope at all.  So that’s on you.

Secret Service guy (whispering into his lapel mic):  Short bus has unloaded.  Repeat, Short Bus has unloaded.  Clean-up on aisle Pontiff.   

And, scene.

Biden delenda est!

“Dr.” Jill Biden/ Ken Doll Haircut, 2024!