Tag: graham-platner

Requiem for Platner, Praying for ICE Agents, & Checking In On NYC (posted 7/15/26)

I’m in the middle of a series of columns contemplating what makes people happy or unhappy, but I thought I’d drop a quick mid-week column to touch on a couple of current events.

I know it’s old news, but I didn’t get a chance to comment on Graham Platner’s exit.  Pragmatically, it would probably be better for conservatives if he had stayed in, since his chances to win were dropping pretty quickly.  But I must grit my teeth and say that it’s better for the country – and definitely for sane Dems – for him to go, because they need to get the worst of the loons on their side out of their party.  Just as it was better for us to kick out George Santos and MGT, it would be good if they could kick out all of their DSA and far-left candidates.

I know: Platner is barely a drop in the loon-filled bucket on the far left. But it’s a start.

It looked like he might be able to hold on, even with his entire, medieval-army-sized baggage train of baggage.  And even after his delusional exit statement, he delayed signing official papers to withdraw, and there were rumors that he might not actually get out, which had to be driving the party bosses crazy with worry.

But I knew he was leaving when I heard that he’d married Eva Braun, and dismissed Generals Burgdorf and Krebs from his campaign staff.  (Boom!  Obscure end-of-WW-eleven joke!) 

Ironically, the self-serving reason that Democrats gave for finally abandoning him – the latest in a long line of sex offenses allegations – is both clearly false, and makes them look even worse.  If it were true, what does it say that they’d put up with the mountain of his other bad actions – the Nazi tattoo, his mocking of US soldiers, his creepy porta-potty proclivities, and the pattern of sexual misconduct – before finally deciding that red flag number 1,725 was the last straw?

But it wasn’t true.  His one unforgivable sin was that he had finally dropped in the polls enough that it looked like he was going to lose the election. And THAT is what really offended his backers. 

In the end, Platner did to himself what he fantasized about doing to a home invader.  Whether he did so “in a gay way” I’m not sure.

Speaking of “white lies” from the Dems: their story about ICE shooting yet another illegal in Maine who was reportedly driving his car toward an agent.  That tale was one that the smartest among them had to know wasn’t true, but that they saw as harmless, because it serves their idea of the “greater good,” i.e. inflames passions against ICE and thus advances their attempt to keep all illegals in the country 

One giveaway was the earliest reports from lefty partisans, which denied that he was illegal, but in mealy mouthed, red-flag ways.  They said that he was here “on a work permit” and that “he had a social security number,” and that he wasn’t the person that ICE was even looking for.

One of the best things about the truth is that it is usually pretty easy to state simply; truthful statements are generally straightforward and clear.  In this case, the truthful statement that the anti-ICE, anti-law-enforcement left did NOT make was, “He was not an illegal alien.”

Or, if you prefer your truth swaddled in misleading euphemism, “He was not undocumented.”

Instead, they said he had a work permit, and a social security number, and was not the person being specifically sought at the time.  All of which carefully avoid the crucial question.  They might as well have said, “He’s medium height, and a Gemini, and enjoys soccer.” 

Okkkkaaaayyyyyy…. Good.  So…was he here illegally, and was he driving directly at an ICE agent when he was shot? 

As of this writing, I don’t know the details of the case.  But if it walks like a propagandistic lie, and quacks like a propagandistic lie…. To quote the late Joe Biden, “You know, you know the thing!” 

But I know that the facts will come out.  And if he had a work permit, work permits can expire, or be revoked.  And if he had a social security number, those can be obtained fraudulently, or by  bureaucratic oversight.  And if he wasn’t the specific person being sought – but was still here illegally – he was still subject to arrest and deportation.

And I’m no law-talkin’ guy, but even I know that if you’ve got a work permit, a social security card and are not specifically being sought by ICE, you STILL can’t disobey a lawful order and threaten the life of a law enforcement officer by driving your car directly at him, and not expect to get shot. 

(I think that legal precedent comes from Kinison v. Murderous Driving Guy.  OH! OHHHHHHH!!!)  

If the traditional Dems and lefties aren’t able to wrest control of the party away from their extremists, these confrontations with ICE are just going to keep escalating.  That might actually be good for the GOP, since independents and generally sane voters are going to be pushed away from voting Democrat by these antics.

But I’m much less concerned with that – and not just because the GOP drives me up a wall on a regular basis.  It’s not good for the country to NOT have two sane parties, and with all of the momentum on the left seemingly in the hands of the radical fringe, that looks like the road we’re going down. 

So I’m really pulling for normie Dems to try to take back control of their party.  In the meantime, I’m praying that ICE agents stay safe, and don’t let dishonest, bad-faith political pushback stop them from doing their job, or from reacting quickly when they need to defend themselves.

Finally, Mamdani continues to do just great in NYC.  He’s instituted a multi-year rent freeze that will be absolutely terrible for rents and housing costs in the city. 

Because: all of economic history.

His latest move was to release a map of the city, identiying all of the immigrant/ethnic enclaves that make up the rich and diverse tapestry of NYC.  And he somehow left off Little Italy, as well as enclaves associated with Greeks, Germans and (of course) Jews.   I’m sure that was an innocent oversight, and has nothing to do with the fact that those groups are now considered white, and therefore evil, colonizing supremacists.

And that Jews, are… you know.  Jewish.

Wait a minute.  This just in.  (If you could see me right now, I’m holding my left hand up to my left ear, pretending that my non-existent control room is sending me a message through my non-existent earpiece.  Because I am basically a child.) 

It turns out that Mamdani has identified a raft of new ethnic enclaves in the city, and good news!  None of them are associated with yucky white immigrants.

There is Little Senegal, and Little Ethiopia, and Little Wakanda. 

Okay, I made that last one up.  But there really is a Little Guyana.  (No offense to Guyanians, but is one Guyana in the world not enough?)  And a Little Palestine.

Which is weird, because there is no Big Palestine.  Because that country doesn’t technically exist.  The area that jihadi enthusiasts and brainwashed undergrads call “Palestine” is not a nation.  It’s an assortment of grudge-holding, self-destructive, self-proclaimed victims with a crippling mixture of ethnic and religious hatreds, a network of terror tunnels bought with squandered aid money, and a flag.    

So everything in New York is just hunky dory.  Because as they say in City Hall, “Death to America!”  Also, “Allahu Akbar!”

Meanwhile, to all the sane and productive citizens left in NYC, I commend to you what they say in Indy each May: “Ladies and gentlemen, start…your…U-HAULS!!”

Que Mala/Crockett, 2028!

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Three Instructive Tales (posted 5/11/26)

This will be a column of random observations that I’ve gathered over the last week or so, in between various distractions, including learning that my body is engaged in absorbing a broken-off piece of my own spine. (That sentence will make more sense if you read my short column from yesterday.)

These observations fall under the umbrella of “a lot of mainstream Democrats have apparently lost their minds lately.” Exhibit A would be the way they’ve gotten behind Graham Platner in the Maine race. Sure, he loves Hamas, hates Jews, and is a far-lefty. But that’s par for the course, and is not a problem for too many Dem voters.

The detail about Platner that surprised even me is the extent to which his having a Nazi tattoo has not been a problem for him! After years of falsely claiming that every conservative voter is a Nazi — and getting hysterical about that totally non-existent issue – the Dems chose a guy who actually branded himself as a Nazi. Permanently. On his skin!

And I’m not talking about a Nazi tattoo like the tattoos on Pete Hegseth, which the Left pretended were Nazi tattoos. (Spoiler alert: they were both traditional Christian tattoos, and had as much to do with Nazism as Liz Warren has to do with American Indians.) (#wemustneverstopmockingher)

No, Platner’s death’s head ink is a specific, famous iconic image worn by the SS (the elite group of Nazi fighters in World War Eleven). And while many of his supporters desperately accepted his weak claim that he had no idea of his tat’s origin, that lie fell apart when several witnesses reported that Platner had proudly invited them to see his “totenkopf,” which is the actual German name for the SS “death’s head” image.

It also didn’t help that Platner kept the tattoo for many years…right up until he decided to run for high office. Which is not something that someone who sincerely regretted getting a tattoo many years ago would do.

The Democrats don’t care. If he could win a Senate seat for their side, they wouldn’t mind if he had “Heil Hitler” tattooed on his neck, like Dewey Crowe on Justified. (Best tv series ever!) They’d just have a PR team remind him to wear button-up collars when he’s on camera.

Whenever I see Platner, I think of the end of Tarantino’s Inglorious Basterds. After the murderous Nazi Hans Landa has made a deal to betray the Germans in exchange for a kind of witness protection in America, Brad Pitt’s character Aldo Raine takes him into custody.

In Raine’s famous final speech,he makes clear that he “can’t abide” the fact that Landa will take off his Nazi uniform and escape consequences for his past. So Raine says, “I’m gonna give you something that you can’t take off,” and carves a swastika into his forehead.

Am I saying that Platner should have a swastika carved into his forehead? In the words of Que Mala, “We should have that conversation.”

Okay, just kidding. But I also can’t abide that the Dems’ self-serving venality might allow him to escape the consequences of his creepy past.

Can we at least force him to wear an SS cap during debates and public appearances, just so that even the most checked-out voters can be reminded of who he is?

Speaking of creepy Aryan leftists, I loved seeing Liz Warren humiliate herself over the sudden bankruptcy announcement by Spirit Airlines. Of course, she blamed the bankruptcy on Trump.

Unexpectedly!

Higher fuel prices caused by the Iran war certainly didn’t help Spirit. But as usual, history and facts are not Lizzie’s friends. Because Spirit had been on the verge of bankruptcy twice in recent years, before Trump won his first game of Whack-a-Mullah.

Most importantly, Spirit was about to merge with Jet Blue two years ago in a move that could have saved them, when the Biden administration stepped in and stopped the deal. Grandma Squanto was one of the prime cheerleaders for the interference. She called the government’s intervention “a Biden win for flyers,” since the merger “would have led to fewer flights and higher fares.”

Whitey Wampanoag truly speaks with forked tongue. Because you know what REALLY leads to fewer flights? (Kinison filter begin) AN AIRLINE THAT GOES OUT OF BUSINESS! OH!! OHHHHHH!! (Kinison filter end)

But still Warren finds a way to blame Trump for Biden’s decision, which she celebrated.

She’s so shameless, her fake Indian name should be “Running Bare.”

Finally, as regular readers might know, I am a Midwesterner by birth, and I still have a fondness for that part of the country. Most Midwesterners are sensible people; most are conservatives, and blessedly free from the political manias that afflict both coasts. There are still a lot of Democrats there, but they tend to be the old-school types: they might like unions, and they vote blue because their parents and grandparents did. But they don’t think boys can become girls, or that communism is a good thing, or that America is a racist, bigoted hell hole.

Unfortunately, there are exceptions. Plenty of corrupt, crime-ridden blue cities mar the plains (I’m looking at you, Chicago), and plenty of Dem pols still make a living off of exploiting the gullible and dim (I’m looking at you, JumBo Pritzker). And there are some far-left, hate-driven whackos, too.

Because: fallen human nature.

Which brings me to Minocqua Brewing Company, of Minocqua, Wisconsin. It is owned by a malicious leftist named Kirk Bangstad, whose TDS is such that he has posted a long-standing promise to serve free beer on the day that President Trump dies.

The day after yet another violent leftist tried to kill the president at the WH correspondents’ dinner, Bangstad doubled down on evil, posting, “Well, we almost got #freebeerday.” After bemoaning the idea that a member of the “Resistance needs to work on their marksmanship,” he was also open to another explanation common to the mouth-breathing conspiracy theorists, i.e. that Trump had faked an assassination attempt to get positive press coverage.

But either way, he’s not the type given to any moral self-reflection. “Regardless, we stand at the ready to pour free beer the day it happens.”

I don’t think there’s much to say about such a person, other than I hope that all good people shun his execrable business, so that it goes belly-up as soon as possible. And then that he has a dark night of the soul that leads to his remorse and repentance.

Already, though, one useful moral lesson has been taught by the Minocqua Moron. Because a man named Brian Kellar took a new job as a senior vice president for an upper-Midwest health system at the end of March. He apparently found Bangstad’s political wickedness attractive, because he bought one of their “FDT” t-shirts touting the pro-assassination beer giveaway.

And then – because nothing says “senior management material” like moving to an area where most people voted for a president and then proudly publicizing your desire that that president be murdered – he posted pictures of himself wearing it on his social media and Bangstad’s hateful homepage.

Annnnnddddd… Kellar got canned from his new, high-profile job, before he could even get settled in to his fancy office. Thus proving the ancient maxim, “When first thou FA, then shalt thou FO.”

Here endeth today’s lesson.

Que Mala/Crockett, 2028!

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