ilhan-omar – Martin Simpson

It’s Schadenfreude Friday! (posted 10/23/26)

In my many years of observing politicians I’ve seen some pretty egregious liars, but this week a new champion stepped into the ring. And as it happens, she was the subject of my last column this past Monday: Ilhan Omar.

Little Miss Mogadishu had one hell of a lousy week. As the investigations against her ramped up, she disappeared temporarily. The warrant used to search her house revealed that she has apparently been using an alias this whole time, possibly because her alleged real name is Ilhan Nur Said Elmi.

Which you may recognize as being vaguely similar to the name of the dude she allegedly married, who is allegedly her brother: Ahmed Nur Said Elmi.

If by “vaguely similar” you mean “absolutely identical.” And a little comical, in a “Who’s on First” kind of way. Because it’s bound to cause a little confusion when your married name was also your maiden name, right?

I mean, I’m no incest-ologist, but…

Also, when some of her deleted social media posts were recovered, they showed that despite her claiming that she didn’t know a single member of his family, she appeared in pictures with him and his family. Which, I guess, were also her family? Yikes.

When she re-appeared in an effort to put out the incest-y, illegal immigration-y media firestorm, it was on MSNOW with Chris Hayes, who looks like Rachel Maddow’s less masculine brother. And it was in that interview that Ilhan made her case for being a first-ballot inductee into the Liars Hall of Fame.

Hayes first lobbed her a few softballs about the absurd rumors that she had married her brother, which she sweated through and laughed at, before blaming the usual suspects: an unnamed Somali blog, which she doesn’t think still exists, where an unnamed “somebody” vaguely claimed that Ahmed 2 “had to have been her brother, or something,” before it was picked up by “right-wing conspiracy theorists.”

Unexpectedly!

For the record, the brother-marrying charge was first made by a Democrat primary opponent of hers.

So if you’ve been keeping score at home on a big white board full of her lies… her name isn’t really her name, her age isn’t really her age, her family aren’t refugee victims but genocide perpetrators, and her Democrat opponent isn’t a right-wing conspiracy theorist.

Oh, and she didn’t NOT marry her brother.

Where was I? Oh yeah, smiling Chrissie Hayes. Ilhan closed out her response to his friendly questions by claiming that the idea that she married her brother was “insane,” and that she did not know any of the unnamed people who supposedly made such a ridiculous claim.

She was almost home free, safe in the hands of her low-T hack of a biased MSM “journalist,” until he tossed what he must have thought would be one last softball, laughingly saying, “So you’re not related to him at all…there’s not some weird kernel of truth that—”

To which she replied, and I am not making this up, “Not to my knowledge.”

Good lord! How could she more clearly confess that she definitely married her brother without saying the words, “I definitely married my brother?” If someone asked her if she’d killed JFK, or had a torrid love affair with Donald Trump, or converted to Christianity, would she ever have responded, “Not to my knowledge?!”

This is going to be one fun mess of a story to follow in the coming months.

Speaking of disturbing stories that are going to have happy endings, I heard this week that jihadi a-hole Nidal Hasan is going to die by firing squad on December third for his traitorous 2009 murder of 13 American soldiers and injuring of 32 others at Fort Hood, Tx. His victims were his fellow soldiers, who were unarmed when he attacked them, motivated by his adherence to the Religion of Peace™.

When I saw the headline, “Hasan to be executed on December 3^rd,” I first thought the story was about Hasan Piker, the evil, America-hating nepo-baby who says that we deserved 9/11, and fantasizes about American capitalists being murdered in the streets. But this other Hasan needs killing too, so I guess all’s well that ends ballistically.

(For any lefties who have mistakenly stumbled across this column and underwent the mandatory humor-ectomy when they joined the Party, that was a joke. Because I would never actually celebrate the killing of people for disagreeing with my politics… unlike your political co-religionists who have made the Kirk-aversary a holiday on their calendars, and are praying for some thug to succeed where the previous three would-be Trump murderers failed.)

By American standards, Hasan’s execution only 17 years after his execution-worthy crime is exceptionally speedy. And I suppose we can be grateful that he’s being put down in Texas instead of Tennessee, where a team of Keystone Kops executioners managed to not kill a murderess in two attempts.

Fortunately, the firing squad is not broken, and the riflemen will be motivated, seeing as Hasan killed their fellow soldiers. And if they by chance should miss his heart and shoot him in the abdomen and groin instead, no one at Fort Hood is going to put a rush on an ambulance in an attempt to try to patch him up and get him well enough to shoot again.

Though now that I think about it…

As usual, the great Babylon Bee had the perfect take on the execution: they urged any leftists who might be upset by the killing of Hasan to just imagine that he’s a Healthcare CEO, so they can feel as good about his just punishment as other Americans will.

Since we’re on the topic of evil people giving Islam a bad name, let’s go over to Gaza, where there are tons of those folks.

You may remember that when the brave, women-and-children-murdering terrorists of Hamas struck on October 7^th, one of their victims was Shani Louk, a 22-year-old German-Israeli hippie chick and peacenik who had been dancing at the Nova Music Festival. She became famous in death, because her abused and partially clothed body was filmed as terrorists drove it through the streets of Gaza, where the salt-of-the-earth Gazans jeered, slapped and spat on her.

In the intervening three years, the IDF has been diligently hunting down and eliminating the five scumbags who had paraded Shani’s body in the back of a Jeep. And on Monday, they located the last of them, an ugly, micro-phallused charmer named Tamer Muhammad (surprise!) Ibrahim al-Sabbagh.

Annnnnddddd…the IDF violently disassembled him with a precision air strike which also took out a senior Hamas officer named Akram Yassin.

Rumors that Sabbagh and Yassin were forcing themselves upon two goats who had been told they were going on a double date at the time of their transition to hell have not been confirmed. But c’mon.

Anyway, thoughts and prayers…to the families of the goats.

In related news, it looks like the “Palestinians” have finally been given their own country. Unfortunately, that country is France.

Great job with the open borders, Macron! As Jerry Seinfeld said, “Good luck with all that.”

Finally, Elon Musk demonstrated a flying car this week. I thought that it must have been AI, but no, it was real. While reading about it, I came across an article by Roger Kimble in American Greatness that pointed out that, “The response to this extraordinary feat divided neatly along ideological lines. The left hated it; the right loved it.”

A commentator on X summed it up thusly: “Elon Musk’s companies built a sports car that does what science fiction promised for a century. The same man lands rockets on barges and builds the machines that carry our astronauts. That is what one free mind, and the thousands of minds he employs, can produce.

Bernie Sanders says billionaires should not exist. He looks at the man who makes cars fly and concludes the problem to solve is that such men keep too much of what they create. He has spent five decades in government producing nothing, yet he claims the moral authority to dispose of the men who produce everything.”

Kimble quotes the anonymous commentator’s conclusion. “A flying car is what men do when they are free. A wealth tax is what politicians do to the men who built it. One of them needs the other to survive, and it isn’t Musk.”

Sounds about right.

Have a great weekend, everybody!

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Raiding Ilhan Omar’s House: Crime Against Humanity, or Proof that No One is Above the Law? (posted 10/19/26)

I’m back from my trip to Illinois and Wisconsin, having spent some time with extended family, and experienced my minimum yearly exposure to some fall colors.

As usual when I travel, I didn’t keep up with politics while on the road. And as usual, that was a bit of a pleasure. But I have one schadenfreude-tastic story that I’ve caught up on since I got home, and it’s just the latest entry in the Democrats’ “No One is Above the Law! … Unless They’re on Our Side” files: The DHS Raid on Ilhan Omar’s house.

To hear the Dems tell it, Ilhan is as pure as the driven snow, and this raid is part of a wide-ranging campaign to persecute her noble self. And before you can ask, no, this doesn’t involve her wildly fluctuating net worth, which is a non-scandal that never happened, and also a totally understandable thing that happened but is not a scandal in any way.

Got that? No? Okay, here’s the summary.

In 2023 Ilhan and her hubby filed mandatory net worth forms disclosing that they had assets of between $40K – $250K. (I know. When you’re filing your taxes, the IRS doesn’t allow you to guesstimate your earnings to within plus or minus $200 grand. But you’re not a congressman, so suck it.)

One year later, Ilhan submitted that form again, this time indicated that their assets had jumped approximately one jillion percent, to between $6 – $30 MILLION, mostly due to two of her husband’s businesses: a winery in CA, and a D.C. venture capital firm called “Dewey, Cheatem & Howe, LLC.

HA! I kid. The suspicious firm is actually called Rose Lake Capital LLC.

Anyway, somebody noticed the big jump, and pointed out the obvious: nobody’s net worth jumps that much in one year, no matter how many shady Learing Centers they claim to own.

So Ilhan and hubby leapt into action and filed an amended 2024 report, basically claiming, “Did we say $30 million? Oops. We meant $18,000. Sorry about the tiny mix-up, which could have happened to anybody.”

Got that? No? Okay, I’ll put it in simple terms. They claimed that a simple “accounting error” had caused them to claim that the winery and VC firm were worth up to $30 million, when they are actually worth zero. And also, their 2023 form had listed their net worth as between $40-$250K, but in the next year that had somehow dropped to between $18-$95K. Never mind why.

Clearly, Omar has richly deserved a number of investigations for years, and it raises red flags about our system that that hasn’t happened before now. In addition to her appearing and then vanishing fortune, she has been associated with some of the shady figures later indicted in the various Somali fraud schemes in Minnesota, for example. Although in her defense, it seems like nearly every Somali in Minnesota has a Kevin-Bacon-esque several-degrees-of-separation link to at least a couple of Somali fraudsters.

That might just be an indictment of the wide-spread fraud in the MN Somali community, without being an indictment of her. But I wouldn’t bet on that.

There’s also the matter of her apparently lying about the circumstances of her own and her family’s immigration to America. After her family came to the US in 1995, Omar is accused of lying about her age when she was granted American citizenship in 2000, by claiming to be under 18 at that time. That age would allow her to apply for citizenship under her father, a quicker and easier process than starting a new application case for her as an adult.

When she was first elected to congress in November of 2016, the Minnesota Legislative Reference Library listed Omar’s birthdate as October 4, 1981, which would have made her over 18 when she was granted citizenship. And that fact would have invalidated her citizenship, since it had been granted based on a lie.

In May of 2019, one of Omar’s Democrat primary opponents released a viral video alleging that she had lied about her age when she applied to get citizenship. And then, suddenly, her congressional staff were said to have contacted the Minnesota Library, Wikipedia, and the US House to “correct” her birth date.

Unexpectedly!

I haven’t been able to find out who initially reported that she was born in 1981. But when asked about the “corrected” date of 10/4/82, an official at the Minnesota Library said that “we do not have any supporting documentation [of her birthdate], as the information was ‘self-reported’.”

And who can you trust to accurately self-report potentially incriminating facts, if not a member of the Somali pirate-adjacent community?

Now you might be saying, “Martin, what difference does her age make? She applied for citizenship under her father, so what’s the big deal? He was a Somalian “educator” (according to Ilhan’s repeated public statement) who fled his country’s devastating civil war as a refugee, and thus deserved asylum in America.”

Except for one little detail. During Somalia’s civil war, around 200,000 Somali civilians were murdered in the course of an actual attempted genocide. (Not like the faux genocide in Gaza, in which Israel has done everything it can to minimize “Palestinian” civilian casualties. Or the faux “trans-genocide” in America, in which disturbed “trans” people murder school kids and others, and also commit suicide at abnormally higher rates, due to their disorder.) This atrocity was carried out by a communist dictator named Siad Barre, after he took power in a Soviet-backed coup in 1969.

Unfortunately, Ilhan’s dad – Nur Omar Mohamed – was not an “educator” at all. Unless you count guys who taught classes like “Massacring Civilians 101,” “Poisoning Civilians’ Wells 201,” or “Laying Landmines on Civilian Grazing Lands 301” – all of which Ilhan’s employer did – as “educators.”

Because Nur was actually … wait for it …a full colonel in Siad Barre’s brutal military regime. And yes, he did flee Somalia. But only after a civil war that over-threw the communist dictatorship he served in.

So Ilhan’s family was less like a group of innocent refugees seeking legitimate asylum, and more like a top Nazi leader’s family fleeing Germany in May of 1945 after their side had lost World War Eleven. But thanks to our country’s half-arsed system of vetting foreigners trying to immigrate, Ilhan’s dad was wrongly granted citizenship. He could now have his citizenship (and that of his family) revoked, if he hadn’t died from Covid in 2020.

If all of that wasn’t enough, Ilhan allegedly decided to defraud America through our immigration system once again, this time by marrying her brother, to allow him to get his American citizenship. Because why should he feel left out, when everyone else in her family had already defrauded us to get their citizenship?

Anyway, the story of her marriages is a tangled one. Her first “marriage” was “an unofficial, faith-based Islamic marriage” to Ahmed Hirsi in 2002. They had two kids, and then got a Muslim “divorce” in 2008. In 2009 she legally married a second Ahmed, this one Ahmed Elmi, who is allegedly her brother. She allegedly did so to allow him to get access to a Green Card, student loans, and possibly American citizenship, though I couldn’t find any evidence that he did ultimately pursue citizenship.

Thankfully, Ahmed 2 (the brother) probably didn’t consummate his marriage with Ilhan (because: gross!). At any rate, they had no kids together, and they got an Islamic “divorce” in 2011. Then Omar reconciled with Ahmed 2 just one month later, and they had a third kid in 2012, even though she was still legally married to Ahmed 2. Finally, she and bro-Ahmed 2 got a legal divorce in 2017, and then she legally married non-bro Ahmed 1 in 2018.

You can’t tell Ilhan’s Ahmeds without a score card!

Anyway, one year later Ilhan and Ahmed 1 legally divorced, and she entered a third marriage – or a second legal marriage, but who’s counting? – to a white dude named Ahmed Mynett.

Just kidding! His name is actually Tim. (He’s the one with the businesses worth tens of millions, or possibly a few thousand, depending on which year it is.)

Despite all of these legal marriages and pseudo-marriages and assorted Ahmeds, you don’t have to look at this marrying-her-brother story in great detail before you can smell a rat. You only need to have even a passing knowledge of human nature. Because that would allow you to picture your own reaction, if you were ever accused of marrying your brother or sister.

You would immediately say, “No, gross!” or “How dare you?” or “GTF out of here!” Or something to that effect. Then you’d offer to take a DNA test immediately, which would exonerate you, once and for all, and beyond all doubt.

Unless, of course, you’d actually married your brother.

Guess what course of action Ilhan chose? Spoiler alert: NOT the DNA test.

Instead, she riffled through the Democrats’ Big Book of Guilty Responses™, and picked all of them: “Racism!” “Sexism!” “Islamophobia!” “But Trump!” “You’re a Nazi!” “I can’t recall.” Plus, “What difference, at this point, does it make?” (This last one is known as “the Hillary Gambit.”)

I’ve seen one report that the DHS investigators looked through Ilhan’s trash, which might mean that they’re looking for a sample of her DNA. If so… YES!

So where does that leave us? Here are the options as I see them:

1. If Ilhan Omar’s “corrected” birthdate is false, then her citizenship could be revoked and she could be deported for lying about being under 18 to gain that citizenship, and also for lying about it again in 2019 to falsely “correct” it.

2. If Ilhan Omar’s “corrected” birthdate is genuine, then her citizenship could be revoked because her father was a war criminal who falsely obtained his citizenship, which would invalidate the status of every family member who came in under him.

3. If we ignore both of those scenarios – pursuant to the Democrat policy of “All Leftists Are Above the Law™” – Omar’s citizenship could STILL be revoked in the near-certain event that DNA proves that she married her brother to aid in his following the family tradition of committing immigration fraud in America.

In the meantime, we can all entertain ourselves watching the Democrats beclown themselves in faux outrage over the constitutional crisis caused by a far-left judge signing off on a warrant to search Ilhan’s house.

Oh, did I not mention that? Yes, the judge who had to admit that there was plenty of evidence justifying that search is a leftist DC judge who clerked for Obama and donated to Hillary.

So the corrupt leftists who celebrated when fellow Democrats raided Mar-a-Lago (with special attention paid to Melania’s underwear drawer, for some reason), and Rudy Giuliani’s house, and the house of a Catholic abortion protester, not to mention cooking up the fraudulent Crossfire Hurricane and Steele Dossier scandals, are now shocked – SHOCKED! I tells ya – at the thought of a crooked congresswoman being legally investigated.

And the phony cherry on top of this enormous hypocrisy sundae? None other than Barack Obama, who put out a laughably brazen tweet-lecture on the subject, which began with the following sentence, which I swear I’m not making up: “It is a basic principle of American democracy that the government can’t selectively target individuals simply because of their political beliefs or what they say.”

Good lord!

You might want to sit this one out, Barry.

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Ilhan Omar & Wajahat Ali are both Terrible (posted 12/16/25)

I’m posting two days in a row because I’m making a quick trip up to Tennessee to see my mom and sister, and wanted to get a mid-week column in before I leave.

Today I’d like to point out two of my least favorite, most ungrateful immigrants. The first is Ilhan Omar. If you’ve been following the news, you already know that she’s pretty terrible. She hates the Jews (unexpectedly!), and she’s not too fond of Americans; she often refers to Somalis and Somalia as “my people” and “our country” in her speeches, which are often delivered in Somali. (Yay, assimilation!)

She also pretty clearly married her brother in order to facilitate his fraudulently immigrating to this country, which has been an open “secret” in Minnesota for many years, and is now well known throughout America. So can someone explain to me why she has not yet been charged with that crime?

I’m no law-talkin’ guy (Lionel Hutz reference for $100, Alex), but I think that she and her brother would be pretty easy to convict on that charge. Especially since her only valid defense might be to insist that no, no, she really did want to bang her brother, conjugally speaking. And once such a conviction was secured, couldn’t she and her brother both be denaturalized, and then deported back to the land toward which she apparently has the kind of patriotic feelings that she clearly doesn’t have toward America?

If any of my regular readers are lawyers, please comment on whether denaturalization would be an option in her case.

The latest infuriating Ilhan-ian news involves the massive Somali-immigrant-driven billion-dollar fraud against American taxpayers that is only starting to be investigated. This scandal has everything: scamming housing funds; scamming Medicaid funds; scamming food program funds; making up fake autism claims that are then treated by fake therapists during non-existent therapy sessions.

And the rancid cherry on this malfeasance sundae is that at least some of the stolen funds were sent overseas to fund the barbaric Somali terror group Al-Shabaab. It’s a perfect storm of terribleness all the way around. And Omar was up to her neck in the scandal. Because of course she was.

She’s been in smiling photographs with many of the bad actors who had prominent roles in the fraud, and she held multiple parties at a restaurant owned by one of the lead scammers, who has since been convicted for stealing millions. As has one of her own staffers. In fact, she introduced the bill that led to $250 million of the $1 billion (and counting) fraud.

Her specific bill set up a program to provide meals – phantom meals, as it turned out – to schoolchildren during covid, and which has continued since. (Is there ANYTHING that went wrong in America in the last 5 years that didn’t owe at least some debt to the blossoming scams involved in covid?)

Imagine her surprise when, during an interview with normally-Democrat-boot-licking Jake Tapper, Tapper stumbled into a moment of accidental journalism. He actually asked a straightforward question: “Why did fraud in Minnesota get so out of control?”

Poor Ilhan must have been struck in the cranium with a 2-by-4 shortly before the interview, because she gave an answer that was half Que Mala Harris and half Karl Childers (the slow main character from Sling Blade): “I think what happened, um, is that, you know, when you have these, kind of, new programs that are, um, designed to, uh, help people you are often times relying on third parties to be able to facilitate, and I just think that a lot of the COVID programs…were set up so quickly that a lot of the guardrails did not get created.”

Got that? “The guardrails” were not created, because Omar’s cronies were in such a big hurry to start turning fake meals into real cash that could be used to buy machetes for Al-Kabong, or whatever those Somali jihadists call themselves.

If you’ll allow me to engage my Sam Kinison filter… [begin Kinison] “Gee, Ilhan, you know who probably should have created some guardrails before proposing a bill? YOU! YOU WROTE A DEFECTIVE, GUARD-RAIL-LESS BILL, YOU BROTHER-BANGING FRAUDSTER!! OH! OHHHH!!” [end Kinison]

Good lord! If Tapper had more than one good question per year in him, he could have followed up by asking why we didn’t see that scale of fraud in any other state, perpetrated by any other group. But alas, Tapper tapped out.

But it’s not like we can’t see through her lame answer. She is basically victim-blaming the taxpayers of Minnesota for being too gullible, and too easy for crooked Somalis like Ilhan and her friends to rip-off. The Feds better put Omar on the hot seat in their investigation of this massive fraud, and they better charge her with her own immigration fraud, at least!

Speaking of hateful ingrates in America, you’ve probably never even heard of Wajahat Ali before. And if that’s the case, lucky you.

He’s a Pakistani-American leftist Muslim, and he really hates white people, America, and American culture.

Unexpectedly!

Ali is sort of a male, Muslim version of Joy(less) Reid. In fact, it was on Ali’s Substack podcast that Joy Reid famously said that white folks, “Made this country into a slave hell. They can’t originally invent anything more than they were ever able to invent good music.” (Shhhh, don’t tell Joy this, but every slave brought into this country was bought from a black slave trader in the slave hell of Africa. Or that Beethoven, Mozart, Handel, Bach, the Beatles and Tom Petty are all as white as Liz Warren.) (#wemustneverstopmockingher)

But that’s Joy; she’s room-temperature-IQ stupid. She’s stupid enough that even the other mouth-breathers at MSNBC finally said, “Wow! She is too stupid for this network.”

And it turns out that ol’ Wajahat is not a lot smarter. I mean, he’s smart enough to have an evil plan, but not smart enough to keep his evil mouth shut about it. He’s dumb enough to say the racist part out loud! In a recent podcast, it was as if he were trying to embody very ugly stereotype of hateful, racist, entitled immigrants, even though his parents were the immigrants – and criminals convicted of fraud, it turns out – and he was born in California.

Lest you think I am exaggerating, here are some excerpts from his podcast, none of which I am making up: “You [white people] lost. The mistake that you made is you let us [brown people] in in the first place [in 1965]. There’s a bunch of us, and we breed. We’re a breeding people.”

He brags about chain migration, and returns to the theme that when America let people like his parents in, we lost, because we are culturally inferior. “Your story is a sh*tty story filled with misery….Your music sucks.. All your culture sucks.”

As creepy as Wajahat is, we can still learn something from him. Because as the old saying goes, “even an evil moron is right twice a day.”

No, wait. That’s supposed to be a broken clock. Because even a broken clock can be an ungrateful, hate-filled moron.

Oh never mind. The point is, Wajahat is not completely wrong. Because it was a mistake to invite in millions of people like his parents starting in the mid-1960s, and an even bigger mistake to elect the late Joe Biden to let in many millions more in just 4 years.

Not for the racist reasons that Ali cites. Because he’s a racist a-hole. But for cultural, political, and economic reasons. By now the folly of opening our borders (and our welfare system) to millions of people who don’t want to assimilate, and who bring with them the dysfunction and incompatible cultures of their home countries is abundantly clear.

And though we shouldn’t need a brainless hater like Ali to broadcast this folly far and wide, we should make sure his message gets out there, to the revulsion of average American voters.

And if you travel in our country a lot, and if you should ever meet Ali in person, and he says, “I’m Wajahat,” you should ignore him.

Because if he is honestly trying to start a conversation with you, you should snub him because of what an awful racist troll he is.

If, on the other hand, he is trying to indicate that he is choking on something – probably his own bile – you should not intervene.

Instead, kneel down in front of him, while he continues to choke out “wajahat…wajahat” and say, “I would do the Heimlich on you and save your life, except that I want to respect your political and religious hatreds. And since Henry Heimlich was an American, and a white guy, and Jewish, I know you despise him, and wouldn’t want to be saved by any of our sucky white American culture.”

“So…bye bye, Wajjie!”

Hamas (and Trantifa) delenda est!

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