To paraphrase the late great Norm MacDonald, the more I hear about this Obama guy, the more I don’t care for him. Because he is a small, petty man, and also not terribly smart.
And I’m not referring to the three major blunders of his presidency – doubling the national debt we had accumulated over 233 years in just 8 years; pushing through the ruinous Obamacare (which made health care even more expensive and is now requiring hundreds of billions in subsidies to postpone its inevitable collapse); and making race relations in America much worse (check out the polling on that).
Nor am I referring to his only real accomplishment as president, i.e. ushering in the Trump presidency, in repudiation of his own poor performance.
No, I’m talking about his post-presidency, which has been an (Adam) Schiff show. He has been hypocritically piling up wealth and shamelessly cashing in on his “champion of the oppressed” persona for a decade now, compiling a net worth of $70 – $90 million. (Unless he’s hired Ilhan Omar/Elmi’s accountant, in which case he’s worth between $17 – $94.)
He formed a production company with his wife (Senior, Outside Linebacker, Northwestern), signing a rich deal with Netflix which has produced mostly unwatched pap, in addition to his $400K speeches and Michelle’s little-watched and terrible podcast. He’s also bought various mansions, all of which are surrounded by walls and armed security (never mind, peons without guns or a southern border wall), and at least one of which sits on ocean-front property that he never would have bought if he believes that a rising ocean will engulf it by two years from this coming Thursday, as he claims.
He’s also given an endless stream of cringey, pandering speeches that have usually blown up in his face. He stumped hard for the late Joe Biden – before the old codger stumbled onto a debate stage and then melted into the floorboards like The Wicked Witch of the Cerebral Cortex – and then for Que Mala Harris. And don’t ask him how it went when he lectured and brow-beat black males for not being sufficiently enthusiastic about VP Word Salad. (Spoiler alert: highest black voting numbers for a GOP candidate ever.)
My favorite recent Obama cringe-fest came when the Obnoxious O gave a late September speech at a Massachusetts college, during which he returned to one of his favorite themes from years past, to wit the idea that women would make much better political leaders than men. “Even when I was president, I sometimes fantasized that if you put women in charge of every government for two years… things would be better.” Cue wild applause from the clapping seals in the audience.
Never mind that he actually had the chance to step aside, and allow a certain thick-ankled non-male to clomp her way to [his] Democrat nomination in 2008, and what did he do? He beat her like a rented mule of irrelevant gender, that’s what he did.
But like I said, never mind that. Just consider his claim that women politicians would necessarily do a better job than male politicians.
Many counter-examples come to mind. Like Hillary Clinton. Kamala Harris. Maxine Waters. Crazy Maize Hirono. Karen “Large Mouth” Bass. Did I mention Hillary Clinton? Scary, corrupt ice-queen and EU Commission President Ursula von der Leyen (a Bond-villain name if I ever heard one). Winnie Mandela. Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS.
I could go on and on. So I will.
Hochul. Spanberger. Omar/Elmi. Also MTG, Bobert and Guilfoyle. (Because: bipartisanship.) And Hillary Clinton again. (Because she’s just that terrible.)
Hold on. My crack research staff tells me that Ilsa was actually a fictional Nazi dominatrix in an exploitation film set in a women’s prison that came out when I was 13. So…my bad on that one. And it doesn’t matter why I thought of her, so mind your business.
Anyway. Randi Weingarten. Elisa Slotkin. Lizzie “Spreading Bull” Warren. (#wemustneverstopmockingher) Jasmine Crockett
And one could look farther afield, and consider lesbian bar ownership. (I know. Bear with me, and then behold, as I tie all of this together with a big, rhetorical bow.)
You may have missed the story of the Last Ditch bar, in Greenfield, MA. A nice lesbian gal named Jackie opened the bar that she intended to welcome “lesbians, transexuals, gender freaks, workers and friends.”
“So what could go wrong?” you are not asking, because duh!
When Covid hit, Jackie and the other two owners (now both out of the picture) imposed a mask mandate. But four years after sane people – not counting those with actual pulmonary problems – stopped wearing masks, Jackie tried to take a baby step toward rationality by declaring that Saturdays would henceforth be mask-optional.
And because women are better people and more rational than men, all of the patrons at the Last Ditch agreed that that was a reasonable compromise, and happiness and profitability ensued. The end.
HA! I kid because I love. What actually happened was that the totalitarian little Stalin-ette patrons got their flannel shirts over their heads in outrage, and became hysterical, urging a boycott and starting a social media campaign demonizing Jackie as an ableist who was endangering the lives of immunocompromised customers, the way a genocidal, straight male would do.
(I added that last phrase. But I think it is clearly implied.)
Annnnddddd…the bar closed down on October 26th. Unexpectedly!
(I almost wrote that the bar “went under.” But I’m a gentleman, and not up on lesbian slang, and so did not want to give offense. You’re welcome.)
Even though I’m no lesbian-ologist (I finished college six credits short of my minor in lesbianology), I’m pretty sure that 100% of the people involved in this story – founders, owner, workers and customers – were women. And yet – despite the common belief that females are just dandy at everything, and definitely much better than those gross males – that business went down in flames. (No offense meant.)
Where was I?
Oh yeah. Barack Obama is a terrible, pandering hack who has to know that it is just as absurd to state that females would be universally better at running things than to state that males would.
And that’s not even in the top three offensively dishonest things he’s said in his barnstorming speeches to support a wide variety of horrific far-left candidates in these midterms.
I would rank those as follows:
3. His shot at Trump’s taste in the new White House ballroom. The condescension to the proles who like the Cheesecake Factory was vintage Obama, but you have to shake your head at how he could criticize anybody’s taste after the Crime Against Architecture that is the Obama Flak Tower/Boondoggle-Library. (Feel free to make your own Frank Lloyd Wrong jokes here.)
2. After a solid decade of smearing conservatives as racist “bitter clingers” and demonizing Trump, he actually said this a few days ago: “I’m tired of being angry. And I’m tired of being divided. I want friendship, and neighborliness, and joy.” Good lord!
1. But the crème de la crap came when Obama criticized Trump’s war on Iran, a subject on which valid criticisms can be made. But not this way, and not by this guy:
“This happens to be something I know a little bit about…. I put in place a deal that EVERYBODY acknowledged kept [the Iranians] from getting nukes. I didn’t have to fire any missiles. I engaged in diplomacy.”
Yes. Diplomacy. Which involved giving the Ayatollahs (RIP) and the IRGC pallets of cash, which they used to fund terrorists all over the world, and also to build a robust underground nuclear program that EVERYBODY acknowledged was still around and racing toward a bomb, until we hit it last summer.
The smugnorance of this guy!
Not that we needed it, but we now have one more reason to get out and vote: to hand this smarmy hypocrite one more defeat in a decade of popcorn-worthy defeats.
Hamas delenda est
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