As I predicted last week (through the magic of my tax-deductible wizard hat), I managed to make it through a long weekend of not having sex with Bette Midler and Alyssa Milano, and have lived to tell the tale. In fact, and I don’t want to toot my own horn (although I’d much rather toot my own horn than have sex with Bette Midler or Alyssa Milano, if you know what I mean), I think I’m surviving quite well.
As the sex strike grinds on into its second week (and no, it doesn’t bump – only grinds), I probably shouldn’t still be commenting on it. But it is simultaneously horrifying and hilarious, and that is a combination that I am too immature to resist. I only have a few more thoughts about it, though,
It’s an archetypally great example of a common leftist trope that I’ve mentioned before: being totally clueless about how others perceive you. Recent examples include pro-abortion Dem Brian Sims videotaping himself bullying a peaceful old woman and thinking that made him a hero, and ineffectual beta male Cory Booker calling himself Spartacus, and translucent old crank Grandma Squanto looking into the mirror and seeing the Indian maiden from the Land o’ Lakes butter ads. (#wemustneverstopmockingher)
Similarly, Alyssa and Bette must have actually had the thought, “You know what will really bring all of those conservative males — with their toxic masculinity and their socially constructed attraction to a .7 female waist-to-hip ratio that you see everywhere from cave paintings to Egyptian pictograms to Sophia Loren movies in the 1960s – to their knees? If we say that we’re not going to have sex with them!”
That’s a big swing and a miss. Because the first rule of strike club is that a strike has to involve withholding something that your target audience wants. If people are boarding a plane to Orlando and the pilots go on strike, people are going to want that strike to end. If the workers in an ice cream factory go on strike, we are going to want that strike to end, because ice cream is delicious.
But if we would not voluntarily … how can I put this delicately?… engage you… with our worst enemy’s (say Bill Clinton’s) … body part of choice… a strike is unlikely to work.
Yikes – this is a high-class website, and I am out of euphemisms. Let me try to put this another way.
You know how in the crucial moment when a strike starts in a movie, the leaders of the strike shout to their audience, “TOOLS DOWN!”
I think I speak for all of us deplorable straight males when I say: Way ahead of you, ladies.
In other news, if you had told me in January that the national Democrats’ biggest liability in 2019 would NOT be their presidential field, I would have been shocked to the point of having my wizard hat tested to see if it was broken.
But we’re halfway through May, and I think you could make the argument that one group has done more damage than the Dirty Two Dozen: the troika of fresh (rapidly becoming stale) faces in the freshman House class — AOC and the Muslim avengers Omar and Tlaib. (I think we need a trendy shorthand acronym for those two, and I’d like to suggest HJT, for Hateful Jihadi Twins.)
So one half of HJT took the Baton of Stupid™ this past week, and advanced it quite nicely. Rashida Tlaib went on a podcast you’ve never heard of and excreted a few deep thoughts about the Holocaust. Others have already had a field day with her choice of words to describe her emotional state when she thinks about the systematic mass murder of 6 million Jews. (“Calming?” Really?)
But what followed was more surprising to me. She gave an impromptu history lesson on the founding of the State of Israel.
In Tlaib’s telling, “[I]t was my ancestors, Palestinians — who lost their land, and some lost their lives their livelihood, their human dignity, their existence in many ways — have been wiped out, and some people’s passports. And just all of it was in the name of trying to create a safe haven for Jews, post-the Holocaust, post-the tragedy and the horrific persecution of Jews across the world at that time. I love the fact that it was my ancestors that provided that, right? In many ways.”
If by “many ways” you mean “zero ways.”
You don’t have to be a Middle East scholar to know that a tale of super philo-semitic Palestinians sacrificing so that the Jews could have a homeland is a tough one to swallow. In fact, it’s harder to think of a more far-fetched take on actual events.
Here’s an example. I might make the argument that it is a historical fact that in the late Middle Ages, the kingdoms of Europe were confronted with a blue-eyed devil-looking guy leading an army of zombies who broke through a mile-high wall of ice and almost wiped out the planet, but were stopped at the last minute when a tomboy with a magic knife stabbed the devil guy, and also a hot, crazy blonde flying around on the back of a dragon did her part too.
That argument would still be closer to the truth than Tlaib’s tale about a bunch of pacifistic Muslims welcoming Jews with open arms and lovingly giving them a country.
Not satisfied with stepping in it so badly, Rashida responded to her critics in the patient, understanding way that we’ve come to expect from her. (Remember, this is the little gem whose first public words upon being elected – spoken into a microphone, in public – was that the Dems were going to “impeach the mf-er.”)
She went on Seth Meyer’s “crimes against comedy” late night show, and found a way to make her comments worse. After revisiting her “the Palestinians helped the folks at Winterfell defeat the Night King and then created a warm and welcoming homeland for the Jews” fable, she followed up with another charming grace note, saying, “I got a text message from a friend who’s like, ‘Hey, next time, you know, really clarify. Maybe talk like a fourth grader. Because maybe the racist idiots would understand you better.’”
Yes. You think that the big problem in the Muslim Middle East is the tiny sliver of land occupied by the Juden, and WE’RE the racist idiots.
Keep it up, Dems. I’m sure this kind of gratuitous slap at most of the country is going to hit that same electoral strategy sweet spot that a certain ex-future president (CAW CAW) hit with her “deplorables” comment.
You know that there have to be some sane Dem pols and consultants who are pleading with the HJTs to just shut it. But they can’t help themselves, and they are continually being hoist on their own petard.
For the record, I’m not sure what getting “hoist on a petard” means, and it sounds painful. But I would still rather be hoist on my own petard – after tooting my own horn – than have sex with Bette Midler or Alyssa Milano.