Everything in our public life has gotten stupid. But the good news is, it is so plainly stupid that even minimally smart people are able to see the blatant stupidity, so I’m hoping that all of this ignorance coming out into the open will inoculate us against the stupid virus in time for the November election. (By the way, I think that the proper Latin term for the stupid virus is “imbecilus socialismus.” But I’m no Latino, so I could be wrong.)
I’d like to make an analogy to a witticism that Warren Buffett used to describe the way that tough economic times reveals people’s bad decisions, such as taking on too much debt. Buffett said, “When the tide goes out, you know who’s been skinny dipping.”
At the risk of triggering everyone’s gag reflex, I’d like to apply that principle to our current political situation, and suggest that the twin crises of the Flu Manchu and the peaceful riots have revealed not the financial bankruptcy (though, that too) but the moral bankruptcy of the left’s pronouncements.
Obviously, I do NOT want to conjure before your minds the prospect of seeing Imhotep Pelosi, Adam Schiff, Joe Biden — or, let’s face it, Cocaine Mitch or Donald Trump – skinny dipping. In fact, this might be a good time to remind you to put down the knitting needles, ice picks, salad tongs, or any other implements suitable for instinctual, spur-of-the-moment eye-removal. Also, remember that as I am just a humble contract writer for CO, he is solely responsible for any ocular damage or psychological trauma sustained due to reading any of my columns. Address your lawsuits to “The Great and Powerful CO, at his Undisclosed Location outside of US territorial waters, beyond the reach of US extradition.”
In the meantime, to help you fight the urge to pick up the knitting needles, let me intervene with a psychological coping technique that I am just now making up. Imagine Dana Perino, Nikki Haley and Kayleigh McEnany having a policy discussion in the surf at the beach. And the tide goes out, and they were skinny dipping. That’s a guided meditation technique I call, “No gag reflex, just giggity.™” You’re welcome.
(For the women in CO nation who’d like to try this technique, you can imagine, I don’t know… Tucker Carlson, Dan Crenshaw and me?) (On second thought, I’m deeply offended that you can’t overlook my smoking hot body and just appreciate me for my mind, you animals!)
Where was I? Oh yeah: the moral bankruptcy of our leftist overlords, exposed:
Exhibit A. In a truly sad development, much of our medical establishment have shown themselves to be at least partly a politico-medical establishment, as it is now clear that they have forfeited their medical credibility in service of their political agenda. The latest evidence comes in a ridiculous statement issued by a group of 1200 “healthcare and medical professionals.” I wasn’t able to quickly find out who those people were – and it’s not worth more than a quick search, because I’ve got a life to lead over here – but if past experience is any guide, they are probably a handful of actual doctors who know something about medicine, and a ton of “community health experts” with grievance studies degrees. (Similarly, the consensus of “scientists” who have warned that global warming/freezing/climate change is going to kill us all three weeks from Wednesday turn out to be a small group of people with degrees in relevant fields, accompanied by many hundreds of social science and liberal arts profs, plus Bill Nye the (non-)Science Guy.)
This motley crew actually said that, “We do not condemn these gatherings as risky for COVID-19 transmission. We support them as vital to the national public health and to the threatened health specifically of Black people in the United States.” You can tell that they’re serious scientists because they apparently believe that the virus targets black people, like some sort of Chicom sickle cell anemia.
But wait! There’s more scientizing coming your way: “This should not be confused with a permissive stance on all gatherings, particularly protests against stay-home orders.” Of course not. Because the virus obviously lays in wait in a crowd, until it can tell which cause they are supporting. Then it either pounces, or else stands down. Before you dismiss that, consider the rest of the explanations from these frauds: “Those actions [protesting leftist politicians’ oppressive over-reach] not only oppose public health interventions, but are also rooted in white nationalism.”
I don’t know about you, but I cannot wait until their new research can identify which part of the genome “white nationalism” resides in so that we can begin genetic engineering.
These liars were masquerading as scientists, and the tide has gone out and revealed that they have no lab coats.
Exhibit B. Leftist speech police have also been exposed. For years they’ve argued that “speech is violence,” i.e. expressing a thought that disagrees with them is akin to physically assaulting them. Conveniently, they’ve also argued that “silence is violence,” i.e. that if you don’t speak up and agree with them – that whites are inherently racist and America inherently evil, for example – you’re also committing violence against them.
So if you say something they disagree with, that’s violence. And if you don’t say anything, that’s violence. But you know what is definitely NOT violence?
You’re way ahead of me: actual violence.
That’s right. Marc Lamont Hill says that the riots “aren’t simply random violence or foolishness… they’re rebellion.” (He’s right about one thing: they definitely aren’t random.) Nikole Hannah-Jones, author of a fact-free, America-hating “historical” smear-fest which recently won a Pulitzer (of course it did), explained that, “Destroying property, which can be replaced, is not violence.” The entire MSM has been bending over backwards to insist that these are protests, not riots, and never you mind the burning buildings, and looters, and defaced monuments and property, and cheerfully screamed obscenities. Who are you going to believe, Fredo Cuomo or your own lyin’ eyes?
Speaking of science, I have a scientific experiment that you should offer to conduct with any willing leftists who pretend to believe that words are violence, while looting isn’t. Offer this exchange: let them call you a very hurtful name (in my case, they could call me a cracker, or a non-hilarious non-genius, for example), and then you get to steal their purse or wallet, and all of their clothes. Don’t even leave them a mask to wear, since Science™ tells us that the Wu flu doesn’t affect ideologically pure leftists. (This would be an especially science-y experiment if you happen to run into Nikole Hannah-Jones.)
Then, as you leave them in the street with no money or clothes, you can share that Buffett quote, and say, “Now that the moral tide has gone out, don’t you feel a little silly? Also, since your keys are in your purse, I’m going to go to your house and steal your tv and your Pulitzer prize, then burn down the house and drive away in your car. Because it’s only property.”
Exhibit C. The brilliant demand to get rid of all police. Because nothing would help the inner cities more than allowing the thugs who have been victimizing them for the last week to continue victimizing them, unopposed, for months or years. (And yes, the far-left white SJWs who are cheering this on will spend those months and years back in their safe, well-policed suburbs while the inner cities burn, thanks for asking.)
The gun-grabbing left, for the last 30 years: “No private citizens should be allowed to have guns – that’s only for law enforcement!”
Also the left, for the last 10 days: “Abolish law enforcement!”
The most entertaining iteration of this idiocy happened when a small group of protesters surrounded a guy’s car, but when he got out and stood up to them, several were immediately caught on tape instinctively saying, “Call the cops!”
You cannot make this stuff up.
Exhibit D. The idea that Black Lives Matter actually gives a rat’s Schumer about black lives. Twenty black people got murdered in Democrat-run Chicago in two weekends, and BLM is silent. Black cop David Dorn and black security guard David Patrick Underwood are murdered by peaceful looters, and BLM is AWOL. Thousands of black people are murdered every year (mostly by black criminals), tens of thousands more are aborted, and BLM could not care less. But THIS has awakened BLM’s moral righteousness?
I’m going to agree with marginal characters like Christ and MLK and say that “all lives matter.” If you are offended and outraged by that concept, I suggest that you quickly try to cover yourself with your hands, because your moral shortcomings are out in the open.
The moral tide has gone out, people. Close your eyes and step away from the knitting needles, because what’s on display on the Left is NOT pretty.
Avenatti/ Nikole Hannah-Jones 2020!