Solving the Riddle of Why Joe Biden is Still in Office (posted 9/13/21)

If you’re a normal person, you’ve had many occasions in recent months to wonder to yourself, how can Joe Biden still be the president? 

How can that cross between Jeff Dunham’s old-man Walter puppet, and Walter Matthau, and Clint Eastwood’s gristly old racist grouch Walt (from Gran Torino), and Walt Disney (after his head was frozen solid) still be in such a powerful position?  He’s Walter Mitty, except without the spark of wit or whimsy in his hollow old head.

That’s five problematic Walts, and they’d all do a better job than our Cadaver in Chief.   I’d rather be governed by Breaking Bad’s Walter White (six!) than by Biden.  (Can’t you picture him leaning over the podium, those rheumy eyes locked on yours, while he whispers creepily into the mike, before his staffers can turn it off, “I am the danger.  C’mon man.  I’m the one who knocks.  Say my name.  No really, say it.  It’s on the tip of my tongue.  It’s something like Jim Backus, but it’s not that.”) 

Joey Gaffes has had the worst half year in political history; it’s a half-year that’s going to have a half-life, causing waves of destruction for decades to come.   

But I think I’ve figured out how he’s managed to remain in office.  (I mean, besides the incredibly corrupt MSM.)  He’s benefited from an odd psychological syndrome among the citizenry, which I can explain.

When my family and I got to go to Europe for the first time in the summer of 2019, I experienced what I call “amazing stuff fatigue.” 

When I first started touring the Tower of London, for example, and came around a corner to see a full suit of armor, as well as full armor for a horse, I was blown away.  Then I saw another, and another.  I moved into another room, with suits of armor belonging to various kings. 

By the time I hit the third large room filled with armor, I was passing through more quickly, barely registering the historical treasures all around me.

As badly as Joe Biden is doing in the polls now, he’s still benefiting from the converse of this syndrome: horrendous action fatigue. 

In normal times, a scandalous family member would be enough to cause all kinds of trouble for a president.  Remember how Billy Carter’s buffoonery bedeviled Jimmy, or Ron Reagan’s mewling criticisms were used as cudgels to attack the real Ronald Reagan (peace be upon him)? 

But before we could even digest that Hunter Biden was a junkie, we found out that he also had an affair with his dead brother’s widow, and then that there were homemade porn videos of himself taking drugs with multiple hookers.  By the time we got to the part where he implicated his father – the President! – in getting a kickback from the Chicoms (“The Big Guy gets 10%.”) too many of us were tired of the story.

The same thing has happened with Afghanistan.  Any of the idiotic moves Biden made in early August – pulling the troops before evacuating the civilians, repeatedly lying to our citizens and Afghan allies that they’d be rescued and then abandoning them, leaving tens of billions of arms to the Taliban – would normally be enough to sink any president.

But we got fatigued.  The shite storm was whirling so fast, and our post-humous prez was piling one monstrously bad choice after another into one news cycle after another, that too many of us got tired, and then numb.  So by the time a leaked recording came out that proved that Biden had encouraged another world leader – explicitly, and verbatim – to lie in order to delay Biden’s Afghan disaster from unraveling faster than he had planned for, that story came out and then died out with nary a ripple.

It’s a cliché as tired as Biden when he calls a lid on his day at 10:30 a.m., but I’ve got to say it anyway.  Trump was impeached for an ambiguous phone call that constituted political hardball at worst, and was perfectly legitimate at best.  He didn’t tell the Ukrainian leader to fabricate a case against Hunter Biden or his late father, but to investigate whether what looked like corrupt behavior on his part actually WAS corrupt behavior on his part.  ‘

(Spoiler alert: we now know beyond any doubt that it was.)

Compare that to what Joe Biden was recorded saying in his phone call to Ghani.  He explicitly told a foreign leader to lie, and it was a lie that would serve Biden’s political interests.  In fact, it was a lie that directly contributed to many Americans and Afghan allies being stranded and at the mercy of the Taliban, if they were foolish enough to believe Biden, or what he tried to get Ghani to say. 

But that was years ago. 

No, wait.  Actually, it was two weeks ago.   

Which feels like years ago, amidst the Cat 5 fecal hurricane that is the Biden administration’s bungling. 

And so far, September looks to be more of the same. 

The Dems went nuts when they found out that the GOP was trying to limit abortions in TX, so naturally they made common cause with socialists to fight it.

Sorry, that’s “Satanists,” not socialists. 

I know: tomato, to-mah-to. 

But seriously.  Satanists?  You cannot make this up. 

Unless you’re Dante Alighieri.

Meanwhile in Afghanistan, things are still just peachy.  When a few reporters mentioned the people stuck in airplanes in Afghani airports, being prevented from taking off, they referred to those folks being “held hostage.” 

And Hacky Psaki was NOT having that.  She suggested that “hostage” was not an accurate term. 

So if you’re keeping score at home: 

People who are trapped and cannot escape Kabul are NOT “stranded,” and people who are being detained against their will as bargaining chips are NOT “hostages.” 

Also, Bruce Jenner is NOT a man, “menstruating people” are NOT women, Lizzie Warren is NOT white, (#wemustneverstopmockingher) and Imhotep Pelosi is NOT incapable of making a realistic human facial expression.

Also, “infrastructure” is people, babies are NOT people, a leftist white wench in a gorilla mask throwing eggs at a black gubernatorial candidate in CA is NOT a racist, but a boulder in Wisconsin IS racist.

Got that? 

I still can’t get over AOC’s diatribe about “menstruating people.”  First, because should that word really start with “mens?”  Second, does she really think that someone who is menstruating is a candidate for an abortion? 

I know she majored in poli-sci with a minor in screwing up drink orders, but did no one ever teach her that one of the subtle clues that a birthing person is pregnant is that she has STOPPED menstruating?  

But it’s not just foreign policy and basic biology and logic that has the lefties’ burkas over their heads.   They continue to be confused and intermittently terrified by the covid. 

Steven Crowder’s show (I recommend it) played a short montage of a bunch of MSM empty heads freaking out about the delta variant in August.  Obviously it deserves to be covered, but they all showed their usual lack of any concern for context or accuracy.  My favorite clip was from somebody named Dr. Mark Kline.  His message: “This is not your grandfather’s covid.” 

No kidding, genius.  Covid has been around for 18 months or so – there was no covid back in grandpa’s day. 

Unless you’re in NY, and your grandpa’s tombstone is still being finished up.  In which case, the variant of covid that was fatal to him came in the form of infected senior citizens being forced into his nursing home by Gropey McGrandma-Killer Cuomo!

I sure hope that Delta doesn’t prove to be MY grandfather’s covid.

Which it won’t.  Because my governor is Ron DeSantis. 

And he’s not in the habit of yanking the cannula from an infected senior citizen’s nose, rolling him through the nursing home doorway, and then slamming the door shut behind him and yelling, “fire in the hole!”

It’s been a long four years, and it’s only been…. I don’t know… 2469 weeks?

Avenatti/The Weird Beard Who Painted over the George Floyd Mural, 2024!

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