Well, Joey Gaffes has spoken, and a nation mourns, with millions wearing ashes today.
As bad as the speech was, I’m not sure I understand that last gesture—
Wait. A Catholic friend has just informed me that today is Ash Wednesday.
Come to think of it, I saw a pic on Cautious Optimism yesterday of IL Gov Pritzker, and I now realize that yesterday was Fat Tuesday. So it’s all starting to make sense.
Anyway, back to the Slur of the Union.
Of course the president struggled to produce words in coherent sequences. As is his wont.
A few examples:
“You can’t build a wall high enough to keep out… a… a… a… a vaccine… the vaccine can STOP the spread of these diseases.”
Okay.
“Putin may circle Kiev with tanks, but he’ll never gain the hearts and souls of the Iranian people.”
To which many Iranians scratched their heads and said, “Why would Putin be concerned with gaining our hearts and souls?”
Meanwhile, Ukrainians just shook their heads.
Watching the Dems applauding even that obviously blown line was pretty entertaining.
“…and a pound of Ukrainian people. The proud, proud people, pound for pound, ready to fight with every inch of er-nergy they have…”
You’ve got to give Biden this much: he’s a real ball of er-nergy. And it’s a cliché because it’s true: a pound of Ukrainians are worth an ounce of cure. And if we’re in for a penny of Ukrainians, we’re in for a pound of Ukranians.
Or something.
“It’s time to see the… th… what used to be called Rust Belt BECOME the the the home of of of significant manufacturing…”
It’s just a childhood stutter, people.
Re-appearing in his late hundreds.
But it wasn’t all just an assault on English grammar and syntax. There were also assaults on common sense, and truth, and rationality.
Biden spent what felt like 6 months touting his Build Back Better bill… with Joe Manchin sitting right there! That bill is deader than Julius Caesar. It’s almost as dead as Biden himself (RIP), and everyone in the room knew it.
And don’t forget the very odd moment when Pelosi, seemingly attempting a smile but producing that strange, rictus grin of hers, stood up for no reason, and spent a full 30 seconds… Rubbing. Her. Knuckles. Together.
Not clapping, or palming her forehead, or any other vaguely human gesture. Just rubbing her knuckles together. And maybe it was just the way I was watching the screen through my hand — with my fingers spread a tiny bit apart, the way I watch all horror movies – but I swear I saw a fine rain of dusty powder – or maybe it was powdery dust – falling from those hideously scraping knuckles.
And Biden was talking about, “burn pits in Iran and Afghanistan… meant to incinerate the waste of war.” So it wasn’t like she was responding to an applause line. Unless the ancient Egyptians used burn pits as a part of their pagan celebrations, and she was feeling nostalgic.
The scene was surreal. The only rational response to the sight of Biden’s animated corpse yammering about burn pits, and then the specter of Imhotep Pelosi standing behind him and rubbing her dessicated forelimbs together would be to shout, “AIEEE! The mummy rises! Chase it back to its crypt and kill it with fire!!!”
But everyone just sat there, half of the chamber even applauding! Yikes!
The normally feckless GOP even had a few reasonable reactions. They stood and applauded, with a few chanting, “Build the Wall!,” when Brandon was audacious enough to say that we should “secure our border and fix the immigration system.”
And Lauren Boebert responded to Biden referencing “flag-draped coffins,” by shouting out, “13 of them!”
That was an interesting moment, because initially many Dems gasped and kind of booed, and I was reminded of the time a GOP pol shouted out, “You lie!” during an Obama speech, at a moment when he was obviously lying.
The reaction then was nuclear, with the talking heads outraged for days, filling the airwaves with apocalyptic outrage about the end of civility, and what an unprecedented breech of decorum that was. But there has been only a very muted response today to Boebert’s impromptu outburst.
I think that’s for two reasons: 1. Even such dullards as the MSM Dem-sympathizers know that Biden’s botched Afghanistan withdrawal and the resulting 13 US military casualties is such a toxic subject with voters that they dare not bring it up.
2. After Pelosi ostentatiously tore up Trump’s speech on the podium, something like a shouted comment seems almost genteel by comparison.
The speech ended with Biden pumping his fist and saying, “Go get him!”
Which caused the audience members who were still awake to look at each other in confusion. Who is he talking about? Putin? Joe Manchin? Joe Rogan?
But I think the answer was obvious: Corn Pop. We must go get Corn Pop, and take him out behind the gym, and beat the hell out of him. C’mon man!
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I’m just glad that Joe Biden wasn’t alive to hear that sad, sad speech.
It’s been a long 4 years, and it’s only been 57 weeks.
Martin Simpson 