Over the weekend I read CO’s story of his brief return to Chicago, and his update on how the good people of that once-great city are faring under the maladministration of Governor Big Jay Pritzker and half-socialist/half-river-carp Mayor Lightfoot.
It’s a poignant, somber tale with a dusting of optimism, or at least hope, as you might expect from the mind of CO. If you haven’t read it yet, you should.
As a Floridian for 36 years now – I wasn’t born in Florida, but I got here as soon as I could – I still love my home state of Illinois, and I’m depressed by the morons who have been running it into the ground, along with the dopes who keep electing those morons.
(If you’ve ever thought that the blind leading the blind was a recipe for disaster, that’s nothing compared to the morons leading the dopes!)
(Coincidentally, if the Dems haven’t come up with an official name for their 2024 convention yet, they could not come up with a more accurate one than “Morons Leading Dopes, 2024!”)
But let’s leave the sad story of the slow, political exsanguination of the Windy City and turn to several stories that have entertained me over the last fortnight.
First we have the spectacle of watching leftist elites losing their minds when confronted by a relative handful of illegal immigrants showing up at their sanctuary cities.
After pontificating for years on how much they LOVE the huddled foreign masses, and publicly Toobin-ing themselves over their own moral superiority, the egregious snobs actually got to meet some of those illegals, face to face.
And immediately called for security.
I love that Abbott and DeSantis have hoist the Dems on their own petard by forcing them to confront the consequences of their destructive policies. Of course, the MSM is doing everything they can to protect them from their “emperor has no clothes” moment, screaming that this is just “a stunt.”
If by “stunt” you mean “forcing people who claim they welcome illegal immigrants to… welcome illegal immigrants.”
Bah! At this late date, no sentient person needs to be told that the top leftists in our country are obnoxious hypocrites. But it’s still fun to say it, and watch them squirm.
AOC said that sending illegals to NYC or Chicago is a “crime against humanity.” (Given the frequency of gunfire and machete attacks there, she might be half-right.) The mayor of DC said that sending a handful of illegals is turning her city into a “border town.” (Ick!) Rich lefty Karens said that uber-rich Martha’s Vineyard didn’t have the “resources” to accommodate 50 migrants!
I love that DeSantis sent that flight to Martha’s Vineyard, of all places, not least because the Obamas now own a $12 million estate there. That little shack contains 7 bedrooms within its 6900 square feet, and sits on 29 ocean-front acres.
Which raises an obvious question: How many Venezuelans can you fit into 7 bedrooms and 29 acres?
Let’s find out!
Oops, we can’t. Because within 48 hours of the illegals landing on their precious island, the open-hearted, open-minded supporters of open borders rounded up the immigrants and sent them packing back to the mainland in several small buses. (“Hola! Bienvenidos! … Now beat it, muchachos! Andale! Don’t let la puerta hit you on your culo! Mi island NO es tu island!”)
Rumors that they “helped” the immigrants onto the buses by surrounding them on horseback and whipping them with their reins are as yet unconfirmed.
Second, I loved that Biden decided to throw a big political celebration of the “inflation reduction act” on the day when the CPI numbers came out and showed that … wait for it … inflation is still rising.
The “experts” expected a number around or below 8% — still horrific, compared to the 2.01% core inflation rate when the Orange Menace was president. But the number came in at 8.3%.
By the way, can I find an old sword lying around the house, and use it to dub myself an “expert?”
Because I’m pretty sure that if I used a three-pronged scientific strategy that I am making up right now – I’ll put on my pointed, velvet wizard hat, examine some spilled chicken entrails, and stick a wet finger into the wind – I’ll be able to achieve a record of prognostication that will beat the hell out of Janet Yellen’s and Paul Krugman’s track records.
Any competent administration wouldn’t have scheduled the big “Joe has Conquered Inflation” party on the day the numbers were set to come out. You know, just in case their previous record of going 0-for-435 in predicting their policy outcomes might be an omen of some kind.
But not Velcro Joe! So there were the top Dem staffers and big shots, sitting in their party hats, ready to blow on their party horns, and kick some inflationary arse. And then the numbers came out, and the market immediately dropped 1200 points.
Cue the sad trombone.
And the sad Imhotep Pelosi, who had the unenviable task of giving a rousing victory speech after Joe’s Big Idea had just mortifyingly flopped. (Or, as political insiders call it, “pulled a Hillary.”)
Even in an audience full of hand-picked ringers – Dem polls, staffers, and other soul-less hacks – Pelosi’s speech was as flaccid as Eric Swalwell after Fang Fang fled back to the politburo.
At one point she said, and I swear I am not making this up, “Mr. President, thank you for unifying and inspiring a vision of a stronger, fairer, safer future for all our children. Your extraordinary leadership has made this glorious day possible.”
Naturally, this line was followed by the kind of silence you experience when dozens of people are simultaneously trying to fight back against the fact that they just threw up in the back of their mouths. The same way that you are probably struggling right now, even though you only read those words.
Sorry about that.
Anyway, having spent most of the last 2300 years in the airless stillness of a crypt beneath an Egyptian pyramid, Nancy recognized that deathly silence. And she raised her desiccated right hand, fixed her somnolent audience with her hideous rictus grin, and said, “That was an applause line.”
I’m no White House speech writer, but I’ve done my share of public speaking over the years, and even I know that it never works to demand applause or laughter for a line that was worthy of neither applause nor laughter.
I mean, can you imagine how off-putting it would be if after every time I came up with a creative new way to refer to the unbearable whiteness of Liz Warren with a #wemustneverstopmockingher tag line, or maybe an observation about how Eric Swallwell’s favorite rock song is “Wang Dang Sweet Fang Fang,” I said, “That was supposed to be a joke. Now is the time when you must laugh.”
Okay, those are bad examples, because all of my Grandma Squanto and Flatulent Swallwell jokes are hilarious, and you would be unable to read my subsequent command to laugh, because of the tears of laughter already in your eyes.
But you get my point. The speeches were all terrible, and everyone in the audience was going through their own dark night of the soul, contemplating whether they’d sold their souls to the devil, and at the moment of their death, would they awaken to find themselves in a place that looked very much like the setting for Biden’s Reichstag speech?
Only with 8% less Hitler, and 9% more Satan?
Finally, I’m not sure what to think about the mid-terms. The MSM have done their best to dishearten us with their predictions of how surprisingly well many Dem candidates are doing in the polls, and the GOP seems willing (as always) to search for new ways to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
But my gut still tells me that there will be a decent red wave in November. Partly because I think the polls are artificially favoring the Dems, but mostly because I can’t bring myself to believe that a majority of Americans want more of what Biden and his co-religionists are selling.
I know one thing: if I could have any job right now, it would be as a writer of GOP ads. Because the main difficulty would be choosing from among the depthless ocean of sound bites, video clips and facts/data/statistics with which to illustrate the comprehensive disaster that the Dems have wrought.
Talk about an embarrassment of riches! Do I cue up several dozen top Dems saying that they are totally down with defunding the police, followed by footage of cities being burned and people being assaulted and killed, followed immediately by each Dem pol later saying that they never wanted to defund the police?
Do I just show video of homeless tent cities, poop-filled streets, smash-and-grab looting mobs, and the floods of illegals coming across the border? Or prices for everything from food to gas to rent, pre- and post-Biden?
Do I show video from Biden’s inauguration day executive orders – stop the wall, kill the pipeline and oil drilling – followed by the results?
Do I take a few clips from Hunter’s laptops and emails, showing the hookers and the blow and the “10% to the Big Guy” from the Chicoms?
Do I just run together a clip of Biden’s greatest hits (You ain’t black, dog-faced pony soldier, you know the thing, pandemic of the unvaccinated, the Afghanistan withdrawal was a success, inflation is transitory, illegal immigration is a gift, poor people are just as smart as white people, plus any given examples of word salad), followed by a black screen, with a voice-over of an Obama-esque voice actor reading his words, “Don’t underestimate Joe’s ability to f*** things up?”
Or maybe I just show a video montage of randomly chosen footage of Brandon and Que Mala, followed by a black screen with the words, “It’s been a long 14 years, and it’s only been 86 weeks.”
Avenatti/ randomly chosen Venezuelan tossed off of Martha’s Vineyard 2024!