I’ve Detected an Imbalance of Stupid and Smart Ideas in Our Politics (posted 10/29/25)

As you read this I’ll be on another trip, this time to Maine to see an old friend.  So I won’t have a column on Friday or possibly Monday, but after that I plan to hit the ground running, and power through to Thanksgiving with the wealth of mock-worthy material I trust that the Dems will be giving all of us.

Today my thoughts have turned to the amount of stupid points that lefties routinely argue for, vs the number of smart points that conservatives routinely argue for. 

By saying this I do NOT mean that GOPers or conservatives are necessarily smart.  (I could point to literally thousands of examples of the opposite, each one of them a tiny, irritating thorn in my side, politically speaking.)  Nor that leftists are necessarily stupid.  (I could point to literally a dozen examples of the opposite.  Or at least a handful, since Harry Truman and Daniel Patrick Moynihan are dead, and Dave Rubin is now a conservative.  But I know a few guys personally, and Fetterman’s healing brain has moved him some distance from the Home Plate of Stupid that the rest of nationally elected Dems are clinging to like grim death.) 

By “stupid points” I just mean nonsensical claims that an orthodox leftist has had to argue for and defend during this century.  A few examples will suffice: 

Men can become women, and vice versa.  (I’m not sure exactly how that’s supposed to work.  But I think turning slowly in a circle while clicking your heels together three times and repeating, “I’m a real boy, Geppetto!” is involved.) 

Taking guns away from law-abiding citizens will decrease crime.

Putting career criminals back on the street with a stern talking-to will convert them to quasi-Amish, non-violent gentlemen.

Discriminating on the basis of race today and in the future on is the fairest way to respond to racial discrimination that happened before you were born.

Electing a socialist, jihad-enthusiast mayor of NYC will make NYC a heaven on earth.

Confiscating money from people who work hard and giving it to people who don’t work will make hard workers work harder, and non-workers become self-supporting hard workers.  (And no productive person will ever move out of your greedy blue state.  The end.) 

Whenever I find myself being frustrated by problems in my life, I remind myself that as a conservative, I can walk out of my house every morning knowing that my path is made easier because I have the bracing wind of reality at my back, rather than blowing in my face and impeding my progress.

My leftist friends, on the other hand, have to face each day knowing that as soon as they step out of their house, they will be greeted with a brisk groin-kick from reality.  Then – as they are writhing on the ground, wishing that they could instantly change their gender to female because that would relieve the aching in their battered cojones – the real world will begin administering a volley of rib kicks and face slaps, followed by a rear naked choke.

(Which as I understand it has nothing to do with sexual innuendo, but rather is a forceful wrestling hold.  But either way, it doesn’t sound pleasant.)

Okay.  This bizarre column opening brought to you by Knob Creek 9 Bourbon.  Because this nation didn’t run on Kentucky coal mined by stone-cold sober people.  Knob Creek 9.  (Drink responsibly.) 

(Yes, I’m trolling to try to get a sponsor for this column.  Because my daughter’s tuition at Exeter isn’t going to pay itself, people.)

Where was I?  Oh yeah.  Stupid points and smart points.

Consider the dilemma of leftists who have tried to argue that people on their side are the good guys, and conservatives are Satan’s minions. 

They’ve got to argue that violent right wingers shot Joe Biden in the ear, and tried to shoot him again on a golf course (which means that he’d have to be capable of walking upright around a golf course).  And that a violent right winger shot up a congressional Democrats’ softball practice, and that a violent right winger murdered the leftist equivalent of Charlie Kirk. 

They also have to argue that Antifa doesn’t exist.

Seriously.  That’s a real thing that has happened.  Just do a quick search, and you can find many prominent leftists repeating the robotic talking point: “Antifa doesn’t even exist.  It’s just an idea.  Or maybe not even that.  Antifa is just a figment of your imagination. Like a smart Jasmine Crockett, or a Native American Lizzie Warren (#neverstopmocking), or an Adam Schiff with a normal-sized, human neck.”

They have to argue ridiculous premises such as that the great “Libs of TikTok” is a dishonest, right wing propaganda site…when its content is just showing videos voluntarily posted to the web by lefties.  No AI; no distorted, out of context, second-hand quotes.  Just pure, 180-proof, leftist c-r-a-z-y.

(And that stuff is nothing like the smooth taste of Knob Creek 9 Kentucky bourbon.  Available in small or large batch.   Warning: Don’t drink Knob Creek 9 when watching Libs of TikTok, lest you involuntarily waste some of that sweet brown liquor in a reflexive spit-take when some multiply-pierced gender-indistinct person in a furry suit tells you that his/her/its pronouns are zippity/zoo/zam… and also that JD Vance is weird.)

My two recent favorite, self-induced stupid points were earned by Governor Goodyear Pritzker’s performance in his interview with Bret Baier last week, and Abigail Spanberger in her debate performance against Winsome Earle-Sears a few days earlier. 

Pritzker brazenly claimed that Chicago is a super-safe, crime-free city, despite bodies hitting the ground there faster than picked-clean comically-oversized turkey legs at a catered poker game featuring Pritzker, Jerry Nadler, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell.

Saith the (D)irigible, “We are not in the top 30 [cities] in terms of our murder rate…Our murder rate has been cut in half over the last four years, and every year it’s gone down by double digits.” 

Then Baier put up a map with a graphic showing the top 10 cities for per-capita murder rate, proving that Chicago is the deadliest.  Unexpectedly!  (Also: D’oh!)

Spanberger did even worse, putting in the strangest debate performance I’ve ever seen.  Her opponent is Winsome Earle-Sears, who confronted her about Spanberger’s support for allowing gender-addled males in females’ bathrooms and locker rooms. Which is a position with a huge stupid quotient: no sane people are for it, but the far-left Dem base demands it. 

So Spanberger didn’t know whether to pull a fire alarm and escape in the confusion, or dramatically throw down a smoke bomb and disappear before the air cleared.

Instead, she just stood there expressionless – staring straight ahead with a frozen, tight-lipped half grin – while Sears repeatedly asked her whether she’d allow a disordered male into her own daughters’ bathrooms.  “Would you do that, Abigail?  Abigail?  Helloooo?”

It was bizarre!  Spanberger looked like a catatonic mental patient, or maybe a psychopathic villain in a Super Max prison, ignoring the outside world while she plotted an elaborate escape plan that would culminate in setting off a string of dirty bombs in every large city in the Western hemisphere.

Or possibly getting Commie Mamdani elected mayor of New York. 

You wouldn’t have thought it could get any worse for her…but then a holder of a Black Belt in Stupid tried to ride to her rescue. 

On Morning Joe, Mika Zherbivore-izhinszki (I’m not wasting 10 seconds to look up the spelling of her ridiculous name) jumped all over the mention of the Dems having lost with two women candidates in recent presidential elections.

Because Mika knows sexism when she sees it.  “Other countries have no problem electing women!” The clear implication being that backward Americans won’t tolerate no gyno-American politicians, no-how!      

Except that – and here I have a huge advantage over Ketanji Jackson, since I know what a woman is – Winsome Sears is female!  So Mika’s point is that whoever votes for a conservative woman against a liberal woman is a sexist. 

Not only that, but Sears is a black woman, while Spanberger is pigment-challenged enough that she could be a sibling of the subject of the late 1960’s Procol Harum hit, “Whiter Shade of Pale,” i.e. Liz Warren (#wemustneverstopmockingher)  

And if leftist racial identity politics has taught us anything, it’s that blackness is just as powerful a qualification for high office as femaleness.

Except if you’re a conservative, apparently.  In which case your conservatism cancels out both your gender and your race.

Because: Science!

Have a good Halloween, everybody, and don’t forget…    

Hamas and Trantifa delenda est!