I enjoyed reading about the successful Artemis II moon mission, partly because it reminded me of one of the most daunting and impressive aspects of past space flights: the incredible precision needed to re-enter the atmosphere at precisely the right angle. A little too shallow, and the craft will careen back out into space, and everyone dies. But a little too steep, and the heat and violence of re-entry reaches catastrophic levels, and everyone dies.
When the Artemis II Orion capsule re-entered Earth’s atmosphere, it was falling toward earth at 25,000 miles per hour.
To give you an idea of how fast that is…it was only 10 mph slower than Eric Swalwell’s descent into ignominy over last weekend! And just like that, his political career has died.
I know: that was a convoluted path to arrive at getting a rib kick in on Mr. Fang-Fang. But at this point, there is almost no length to which I would not go to take well-deserved shots at that creepy leftist hypocrite!
His implosion really was impressive in both its speed and devastation. On Thursday he was in a safe House seat and was a leading candidate for California Governor. The news hit on Friday, and he tried to resist the original story…and then apologized and withdrew from the Governor’s race…and then agreed to resign from his House seat at the end of the term…and then resigned immediately…and now is facing potential criminal charges.
You know that you’ve got a really screwed up political career and sexual history when the most wholesome relationship you’ve ever had might be that time you fell for a scandalous honeytrap sexual dalliance with a Chicom spy!
If anything could produce more schadenfreude than watching the fall of Swalwell – remember that time when he assailed Kavanaugh during the transparently bogus attacks on him during his SCOTUS hearings, because if there’s one thing Swalwell can’t stand, it’s men having skeevy sexual relationships with women! – it’s watching the corrupt Democrats falling all over themselves insisting that they had no idea about Swalwell’s sexual exploitation of every woman within groping distance.
Imhotep Pelosi is shocked – shocked, I tells ya! – that Swalwell turns out to be a recidivist sex pest. Ruben Gallego was Swalwell’s best friend and chaired his short-lived 2020 presidential campaign, and he was clueless too. In fact no high-profile Dems ever said a peep about the issue.
All of which might be more convincing if the entire world hadn’t known that Swalwell was banging Fang Fang, and the Dems STILL kept him on the intelligence committee.
Make your own jokes about “intelligence” and “Swalwell” – that’s a slow pitch over the middle of the plate for sure. But intelligence is the committee most involved with foreign relations and security, and it took the GOP winning the House to forcibly pry Swalwell’s groping hands off that committee.
And the Dems in congress thought that was horrible. All of the most egregious Dems – including Hakeem Jeffries, Schiff and Ilhan Omar – protested the injustice of removing such a fine, upstanding fellow as Swalwell.
So they can all suck it, Trebek.
Speaking of entertainingly disastrous leftist efforts plummeting to earth at great speed, have you been following the opening months of Commie Mamdani’s NYC mayoralty? His latest entirely predictable face-plant involves the first of his promised government grocery stores.
And no, these won’t be anything like the Soviet or Cuban or Nicaraguan government grocery stores, which typically offered many square feet of filthy, poorly lit empty shelves, containing a total inventory of 2 brown, wilted heads of lettuce dating to the reign of Queen Victoria, a package of horse sausage that was more mold than either horse or sausage, and a pair of mismatched, clunky brown shoes, for some reason.
No! These government grocery stores will be crammed full of every food product known to humanity, all of it fresh, and basically free!
Annnndddd…the first store location and plan has been announced. It is going to be a small bodega, which is expected to cost $30 million taxpayer dollars, and to be completed in 2029.
Which means that it will actually cost $97 million, and will open in 2038.
But let’s look at the bright side. If it is completed in 2029 (it won’t be), think of the great appetite that all of the leftist dopes who believe in socialism and free lunches will have built up by then! I’ll bet that some moldy horse sausage and slimy brown lettuce will look pret-ty good to those emaciated morons.
Say what you will about Mamdani. (That he’s an arrogant nepo baby imbecile, for example. Or that he’s a communist and a Jew-hating jihadi.) But he has certainly put the “bone” in “bon appetite.”
Let me send you off into the weekend with a couple of feel-good cultural recommendations.
If you haven’t seen Ted Lasso yet, please give that a watch. I never watched it when it came out, because the subject matter did not sound alluring to me: American football coach goes to England to coach a soccer team. (Nope!)
But one of my old friends recommended it to me, and said that I reminded him of the title character. Which turned out to be one of the nicest compliments I’ve ever gotten, once I started watching the show. It’s a really sweet, well-written and funny show, and I now understand what the fuss was all about when it first came out.
In a similarly heartening and wholesome vein, I just stumbled across a YouTube channel called Jack Aynsley Travel. It features a young, married British couple who travel all over America for about six months, recording the encounters they have with normal, everyday Americans.
In his introduction, the host mentions that the press often presents a negative picture of America and Americans, but he finds the opposite. At the beginning of the first episode he references “an America you never see in the headlines. A kind of warmth and pride and honesty that you just can’t fake.”
The only episode I’ve watched covers the south, and everyone everywhere is really generous with the couple, glad to see them, and happy to show them the local food and sites. They are treated to some skeet shooting, and are invited to ride in boats, on ATVs and on horses. They tailgate in Tuscaloosa and watch an Alabama football game (sure, it’s not a Gator game, but still pretty cool), and sample amazing food and drinks and hospitality along the way.
It’s nice to be reminded that the internet isn’t all porn and conspiracies and lowest-common-denominator bad behavior.
So if you’re feeling a little down, as if the whole country is full of sleazy politicians, violent lefty protesters, Somali scammers and unhinged Tucker Carlsons, check out Jack Aynsley Travel, and tell me what you think.
Que Mala/Crockett, 2028!
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Martin Simpson 