There are some moments in each election cycle when I wonder if I’m not dreaming — or hallucinating – the things that are going on in our country.
One of those moments came the first time I heard that a national political figure was claiming that men could become women. And before I could check whether that was a hilarious Babylon Bee story, hundreds and then thousands of such insane claims were being mainstreamed all over the place.
Male politicians were wearing dresses and demanding to be called “Ma’am” and “Miss” and “Tina Louise.” Lightly closeted Minnesota Jazz-Hands Enthusiasts were putting female hygiene products in boys’ bathrooms. Major corporations were spending (and losing!) millions of dollars on PR campaigns lying about basic biology. Formerly respectable scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson was claiming that sex was “assigned at birth,” like a social security number (except that nobody was stupid enough to claim that you could change your social security number).
Another such moment was when half of our political elite – including the President, VP and head of Homeland Security – were insisting that the border was closed and secure, when hundreds of thousands of people were flooding across the border every month. This went on for years, with powerful elites making these absurd claims while ON A SPLIT-SCREEN TV SHOT with caravans of illegals approaching and then crossing the border!
And who could forget being reassured that the late Joe Biden was a paragon of mental and physical health, while we watched him falling up mobile airport staircases and down over sandbags and off of bicycles, while talking to dead people, and then staring blankly into space, and then pooping on the Pope. (He finally beat Medicaid, people!)
But even after all of those surreal moments, I did not have “we’ll be getting our theological exegesis from Trump, Joy Behar and Tucker Carlson” on my 2026 bingo card.
By now you’ve all seen the “Trump-as-Jesus” meme, and sure, it’s fun to watch people pretend that they’ve never heard of or seen Donald Trump before, and so are shocked – shocked! — that he’d post offensively self-aggrandizing images. But I also understand that people of faith can argue in very good faith that Trump comparing himself favorably to Lincoln or Washington is different than comparing himself to Christ.
And if you accept Trump’s claim that he thought the painting was comparing him to a doctor rather than Jesus, you might have whatever is the opposite of TDS. (Hint: Doctors wear white lab coats rather than robes, and don’t have a halo effect behind them, and heal people with surgical tools and medicine, rather than an angelic light emanating from their hands.)
I don’t have any problem criticizing the Pope when he makes political statements. When he’s implicitly argued against
enforcing our immigration laws, or criticized relatively small numbers of people being unintentionally killed in legitimate military actions but remained silent when the people we’re fighting slaughter tens of thousands of their own people, for example, he’s opened himself to political criticism, IMHO.
Which is not to say that I’ll be going to any Bible studies led by the president.
On the other hand, do you know who makes Trump look like Thomas Aquinas by comparison? The Reverend doctors Joy Behar and Tucker Carlson.
Behar has always been one dim bulb in an extremely dim candelabra at the View. Though she was raised Catholic, Behar now calls herself an agnostic. But don’t worry: she is still happy to share her theological wisdom with you. For example, last week she proclaimed that, “Jesus did not run around calling himself the Messiah.”
This was too much, even for the Mensa members on the View, several of whom immediately jumped in to say that of course He did. Joy’s response made everyone watching dumber: “No he did not! Jesus was not narcissistic like [Trump.]”
Let that sink in for a moment. That’s not some obscure theological claim. It’s kind of important that in the religion that is based on the idea that Christ is God, Christ taught that he was God. (Duh!)
But Joy was not to be deterred, even after Sara Haines pointed out the obvious: “When you’re the Messiah, it’s not narcissism to claim to say it.” Joy stuck to her incredibly stupid guns, pouting, “Yes it is.”
(Shhhhh. Don’t anybody tell her that He also said, “Before Abraham was, I am.”)
Of course Joy was just following in a long tradition of leftist non-Christians simultaneously mocking Christian for their simple-minded religious beliefs, and also lecturing them about how Jesus (and His great teachings) totally contradicts their political beliefs.
But Tucker Carlson, upon hearing the joyless one expounding on religion, said, “Hold my tall, frosty mug of anti-Semitism and watch this.” And he excreted a novel theological theory: Muslims are actually better Christians than conservative Christians!
(Take it from the guy who favors Hitler over Churchill, Putin over Ukrainians, and jihadis over Israel!)
Tucker’s main take-away quote was that “The people in charge don’t want you to know that Muslims love Jesus.” He went on to explain that Islamic teaching “regards Jesus as a major prophet who performed miracles and is expected to return in the future.”
The smarmy, conspiracy-theory tone here is (sadly) typical of Tucker in recent years. You’ll never guess who the perfidious “people in charge” are! Hint: They’re the ones who control the weather, and worldwide banking, and they’ve got space lasers and wear funny hats. And don’t tell Joy Behar, but Jesus is one of them!
Even though those people are known to be super clever, their work was not exactly cut out for them, in terms of how they could keep us Christians from realizing how much Muslims really love us. Because that idea already seems a little far-fetched to us, just because of a few niggling details.
Details like the last 1400 years of Muslim history, during which Islam has been spread by the sword, and wherever Christians have been unable to defend themselves by force of arms, they’ve been preyed upon and killed in great numbers, with the survivors being subjugated or fleeing for their lives. And details like the Islamic present, wherein every country in which Muslims have achieved a governing majority has oppressed Christians (and Jews) like second-class citizens, at best!
Tucker also doesn’t mention that while Muslims might give lip service to Jesus as a prophet, they don’t believe He was the Christ, or that He was resurrected, or that His future return will bring about peace on earth. To the contrary, they teach that He will reject Christianity and usher in a world-wide Islamic caliphate. In that sense, Muslims agree with Joy Behar – never a comforting position to be in! – because they also don’t believe that He ever called Himself the Messiah.
Why, it’s almost like Tucker is wallowing in a Beharian level of ignorance, dishonesty and bad faith.
In conclusion, as is usually the case, I would rather be on our side, with our team – politically, economically, and even theologically – than on theirs.
Politically, I’ll take Lincoln, Coolidge, and Reagan over Wilson, FDR, and Obama. (And Trump over Hillary, Biden and Que Mala!) Economically, I’ll take Adam Smith, Milton Friedman and Thomas Sowell over Marx, Malthus and Keynes.) And theologically, I’ll take Aquinas, Lewis and Billy Graham over Bin Laden, Hasan Piker and Joy Behar.
And I’ll happily give them the points, and still like our odds!
Que Mala/Crockett, 2028!
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Martin Simpson 