Looking Forward to the New Year (posted 1/1/26)

I love New Year’s Day.  It comes in the middle of the 12 days of Christmas, during a long break spent with family; there is good football to watch; and I savor the chance to look back at the past year, and forward to the new one.   

In my last column I looked back at some highlights and lowlights of 2025, but the year certainly ended with all kinds of stupid.  Consider those cheese-eating surrender monkeys the French, for example.   They have a famed national celebration every New Years Eve in Paris, with huge crowds on the Champs-Elysees and a gigantic concert, followed by fireworks at the Arc de Triomphe at midnight.

Except for this year.  Because it is now too dangerous.  The French government no longer feels it can keep its own citizens safe in its capital on a national holiday.  A police statement alluded to “unpredictable crowd movements” as one cause for worry. 

You know, like when the church parking lot gets crowded on a Sunday at noon, or when lots of Gator fans descend on the stadium an hour before kickoff.  You can never be too careful when you’ve got crowds.  Especially the kind which are prone to moving around.    

So the French canceled their concert, and replaced it with a pre-recorded video broadcast.  Because nothing says, “Let’s celebrate this significant moment!” like… reruns. 

There will still be fireworks, but officials “urged people to watch from home.”  Because there is no better way to appreciate the visceral experience of immense colorful explosions filling the sky and cacophonous blasts you can feel in your chest than…to watch it on a tv screen. 

The evasive banality of these official French government pronouncements demonstrate that they believe that some things are better left unsaid. Especially when those things involve mobs of violent practitioners of a certain Religion of Peace™ whom the French have been allowing into their country for decades now.

Annnnddddd…no more celebrations, Frenchie!  Watch it on tv.

Meanwhile, here at home we have geniuses like Eric Swalwell, who is now running for California governor.    And if California Dems vote him into office, they’ll deserve the reign of error, flatulence and unguarded pillow talk with ChiCom honey traps that will ensue.

Swalwell’s latest campaign promise is a doozy.  He is pledging to arrest ICE agents and take away their driver’s licenses. 

You read that right.  ICE agents – the rare federal employees who actually have a proper constitutional job to do and are actually doing it correctly – will not get away with enforcing our laws on Swalwell’s watch.  Following in the footsteps of the seditious six – who told our military that they shouldn’t follow illegal orders, and then couldn’t point to any such orders they’ve been given, because those orders don’t exist – Swalwell tried to cover himself by using the weaseliest of weasel words.

To wit, “And if they commit crimes then they’re going to be charged with crimes, if it’s falsely imprisoning people, if it’s kidnapping, if it’s assault and battery, they’re going to be held accountable.” 

That kind of vacuous statement might work for the motley collection of AWFLs, sufferers from blunt force head trauma and CTEs, and non-English speakers who make up the Democrat voting base in California.

But the rest of us know that of course ICE agents committing those crimes would be charged with those crimes.  We also know that they are NOT committing those crimes.  Because detaining and then arresting people who broke our immigration laws isn’t “falsely imprisoning” them, and taking them off the street and legally holding them prior to deportation isn’t “kidnapping” them. 

And “assault and battery” is what happens to my ears and brain when Eric Swalwell starts talking on tv when my remote is not within arm’s reach.       

The driver’s license threat is especially rich.  When normal Americans think “problems with driver’s licenses in California,” they think about foreigners who just got here two weeks ago, and were issued voter’s registration paperwork and a CDL, despite the fact that they don’t know enough English to read road signs, or spell “CDL.”

Maybe Swalwell thinks that the total number of driver’s licenses is a fixed amount, and he needs to start confiscating licenses from American citizens who are enforcing our laws and keeping us safe, so that he can give those licenses to every Juan, Achmed and Apu with a hankerin’ to climb up behind the wheel of a 15-ton 18-wheeler and start flattening sedans and SUVs like JB Pritzker trampling people between him and a buffet.   

Where was I?

Oh yeah.  Looking forward to the new year.

I don’t do hard-and-fast resolutions, but I do like to set goals, and I’ve got a lot of items on my own personal bucket list that still need to be checked off:

First, of course, I’d like to get the CO website up and running again.

I’d like to fast-rope down from a helicopter just in time to prevent a crime from happening, or stop a useful idiot from talking a naïve young person into voting Democrat.

I’d like to dive into a body of water with a knife clenched between my teeth.

After being a four-time runner up, I’d like to finally win a People Magazine’s Sexiest Man of the Year award.

I’d like to win a Nobel Prize, just so that in my speech I could work in a Pelosi mummy joke, a Cherokee Liz Warren joke (#wemustneverstopmockingher), and a Pritzker dirigible joke. 

I’d like a law enforcement agency to require me to register my hands as lethal weapons. 

I’d like to be at a public event where I could interrupt an idiot making a land acknowledgment by standing up and yelling, “Either give the land back or shut your yap, you insufferable, virtue-signaling D-bag!” 

But enough about me and my personal goals. 

Politically, my over-arching resolution would be for us conservatives to wield the power the voters gave us as aggressively as the Democrats always do when they are in power.  Even if we don’t lose the House in November, time is fleeting and there is a ton of work to do, so we need to make hay while the sun shines, on many fronts:

1.Do everything possible to speed up deportations, and encourage illegals to self-deport.  Crack down on all benefits that serve as magnets for illegals: stop them from getting Medicaid funds, food stamps, illegal employment and college funding.  Defund the NGOs who have been conduits for money for themselves, and to enable illegals to get here and stay here.    

2. Use the power of federal money to incentivize insurrectionist “sanctuary” blue cities and states to obey federal law or suffer the consequences.  Take highway funds away from states who illegally issue any drivers’ licenses to illegals; take federal matching funding away from states who have been using those funds on boondoggles like the CA bullet train.  Withdraw funding wherever it can be legally withdrawn to stop taxpayers from unwillingly subsidizing wind and solar farms that produce expensive electricity that must then be subsidized again when it shows up in electric bills.

3. Use the power of every law and regulation – not as dishonest lawfare, but as aggressive enforcement of laws that have long been ignored or thwarted.  Arrest and prosecute every person who interferes with or attacks ICE, border patrol or the national guard.  Make examples of judges who break the law or rule frivolously; impeach a handful of them where you can, and arrest and prosecute those like the WI judge who was just convicted for helping an illegal escape ICE officers.   

4. Use conservative media to highlight the truth – and counter the MSM – on every story they distort or lie about, i.e. all of the stories.  Make the really bad actors famous – violent illegals, Somali scammers, brother-marrying anti-Semites in Congress – and highlight our wins (lower crime rates and unemployment, an improving economy, etc.).  Build on our recent successes in social media, and keep the spotlight on Dem malfeasance          

5. In a perfect world, I’d like us to keep the filibuster.  But in the real world, I’m afraid it’s time to get rid of it, both because the Dems will certainly do so the minute they get back in power (they already did, with judges), and because they’ve repeatedly demonstrated that they aren’t good-faith negotiators.  We can’t continue to fight with one arm tied behind our back, and we can’t continue to bring strongly worded letters to a knife fight.  If we don’t, the Dems will prevent us from making health-care reforms, and then will profit by blaming us for the failed Obamacare that they are 100% responsible for.     

We made some very good progress in 2025, but we need to keep the pedal to the metal in 2026.

I hope you all had a great holiday season, and are looking forward to the new year as much as I am!

Hamas (and Trantifa) delenda est!

0-0-0

If you enjoyed this column, please share it.  To see more of Martin’s past columns, go to Martinsimpsonwriting.com, and click Subscribe (on the bottom of your phone screen, or the right side of your computer screen) to receive a notice when new columns post.

3 thoughts on “Looking Forward to the New Year (posted 1/1/26)”

  1. Coming out of the gate strong for the new year, Martin! Had to set my coffee down so it didn’t come out my nose with the hilarity. I certainly hope your resolutions for this country come true. Happy New Year.

    Like

  2. Martin, Happy New Year! You started out the new year just as you ended the old one..with sarcasm and wit. I so look forward to your posts! Hopefully, you can get the CO site back up and running as I miss him as well.

    Sandy

    Like

  3. 🥖🧀🙉 terrified of the Muslims that they let in because empathy & tolerance. Idiots.

    I want to see deportations off the chain here, cutting off their funding should help. So much paperwork destroyed in break-ins. LOL, yeah and my guns were lost in a boating accident. They were!

    Also for CO to be back on Facebook and X. I turned 68 on New Year’s Eve so this is a birthday wish ♥️😝

    Sharing till then!

    Like

Leave a reply to realestatebhc Cancel reply