Dems Have Been Lying About Racism & Conservatives Again… Unexpectedly! (post 5/22/26)

As a party that has exploited racial grievance for many years, the Democrats have been having a tough go of it recently.  The fact that American society has made a great deal of progress re: race over the last 50 years or so has created a supply-and-demand problem for race mongers on the left. 

There is simply not enough real racism to allow them to play the race card convincingly enough to bully anyone who is not already indoctrinated into their vision of an evil Amerikkka.  You can see that in their sad line-up of recent candidates of proposed African-American martyrs to white racism.   

A century ago – when the Democrats themselves were in charge of white racism (!) – they had Emmett Till, and scores of similarly innocent black folks beaten, harassed and even lynched by evil whites.  And you know they’d like to champion the cause of, and profit from,  similarly righteous black victims today.

Unfortunately, the best they can do is try to canonize black criminals, who died in the process of committing crimes.  Trayvon Martin was beating a Hispanic guy’s head into a concrete sidewalk and had already broken his orbital bone and given him a concussion by the time he got shot.  Michael Brown held up a convenience store, and when questioned by a cop, beat him and fought for his gun until the cop shot him in self-defense.  Jordan Neely was a violent recidivist who was threatening a subway car full of innocent citizens when Daniel Penny put him in a defensive chokehold that accidentally resulted in his death.

If innocent black folks were constantly being killed for no reason by racist white monsters, Martin, Brown and Neely would NOT be anybody’s choice for the poster boys for innocent black victimhood.  But that’s all that leftist racial grifters have to work with. 

So they pretend that Martin was the innocent kid in his grade school graduation picture, and that Brown put his hands up and said, “Don’t shoot,” and that Neely was a benevolent Michael Jackson impersonator just minding his own business.   

To add to the Dems’ humiliation, the recent revelations about the long-running grift of the Southern Poverty Law Center have driven the point home in a darkly hilarious way.  The SPLC money train was so threatened by the lack of evil white racism that the racial arsonists on the payroll were facing the horrifying reality that they might actually have to go out and find honest work! 

And they were way too lazy and unskilled for that.  So they managed to round up a pitiful collection of the tiny remnant of KKK mouth-breathers, and a few more who were willing to cosplay as KKK members if the money was right.  And they paid them millions of dollars to scare gullible liberals, so that the SPLC fund-raising scam could continue.

But just when they thought they might have beaten the dead horse of racism back to life, the SCOTUS ruling getting rid of racist gerrymandering threatened their stranglehold on power yet again.  Immediately, one Dem politician and MSM talking head (but I repeat myself) after another sounded the alarm: “If we can’t draw tortuously convoluted district lines to ensure a heavy black majority, there won’t be any black members of Congress left!  Because: RACISM!”

Let me count the creepy, slanderous assumptions underlying that insult.

First, it assumes that blacks will only vote for black candidates – i.e. that blacks are racists – since it assumes that those gerrymandered black districts will always send black pols to Congress.    

 As with most lies, there is some truth in this.  Because every group has some racism in it, and most groups have a bias for people who are like them, racially or otherwise.  Military vets are predisposed to vote for other vets; blue collar workers or farmers for blue collar workers or farmers, etc.  So most blacks have traditionally voted for black candidates too, all things being equal.

Inconveniently for this argument, Trump got millions of black votes in his presidential campaigns, more than any other GOP candidate in the last century or more.  But if you Dems want to insist that black voters are monolithically racist against all non-blacks, okay.

Second, this claim assumes that whites will not vote for black candidates. 

Ahem.  May I call to the court’s attention a certain B. Hussein Obama, the twice-elected black president who would never have won without the votes of tens of millions of (judgment-impaired) white voters?  (In fact, tens of millions of voters who voted for Obama twice went on to vote for Trump multiple times.  Which by itself destroys the Dem narrative about the supposed bone-deep racism of MAGA.)

Or other black candidates who have received the majority of white votes in their districts, whether they ultimately won or not?  Like Tim Scott (SC), Larry Elder (CA),  Herschel Walker (GA), JC Watts (OK), Michael Steele (MD), and many others.  Some of those were great candidates and some were lousy, but all of them got a majority of the white vote.

As did Byron Donalds when he won a House seat in the free state of Florida in 2016.  And he’s the front-runner to be the next Governor, which means that he’ll win millions more white votes.    

In fact, the wrong-ness of the anti-white racial grifters on the left can be most clearly – and hilariously! – seen in Memphis and Virginia.  In the racially gerrymandered, heavily black district of Memphis, black Dem voters have been electing and re-electing, for the last 20 years… wait for it… white Jewish doofus Steve Cohen! 

And what did Cohen do as soon as SCOTUS fixed the racist gerrymander, which meant that he’d have to appeal to a more diverse electorate in November?  He withdrew from the race! 

The delicious, schadenfreude cherry on top of that just-desserts sundae is that the initial new front-runner for that House seat was a black female GOP candidate!  Now that there is going to be a vigorous primary, she might not be the eventually nominee. But how sweet would it be if the Democrat “black representative” (who is white) is replaced by the GOP “white supremacist representative” (who is black) in Tennessee 9?!

Phony Democrat race-baiting was also evident last November in Virginia.  There, the vast majority of supposedly racist conservatives voted for the black candidate instead of the white one.   

And spoiler alert, the vast majority of supposedly black-supporting leftist white voters voted for the whitest woman this side of Liz Warren (#wemustneverstopmockingher) and against the blackest woman this side of Lawrence Taylor (Winsome Sears). 

And the whitey won!  So hooray for non-racist Democrats!  (Sarcasm very much intended.) 

The reality is that despite the Democrats claiming that all voters are motivated by race above all, that is not even remotely true.  The Dems themselves would be thrilled to have white Steve Cohen stay in his seat, instead of a black female conservative, which gives their game away.

Voters on both sides of the political spectrum vote based on a variety of prioritized factors, with race coming pretty far down the list for most of us. 

I can’t speak for all conservatives – although what a utopia this country would be if I did! – but I have two priorities that are far above all others: I want conservatism and electability.  Thus I’ll always vote for the most electable conservative in every primary or general election. 

Beyond that, I don’t care nearly as much if they’re black or white, male or female, straight or gay, ugly or attractive, tall or short, fat or thin, rich or poor, sick or healthy, Christian or Muslim or atheist, or anything else.

Which is not to say that I wouldn’t use some of those other factors as tie-breakers, especially in primaries, where two candidates might appear to be similarly conservative and electable.  In that case I would prefer a Christian over an atheist or Muslim, because I am a Christian and trust a Christian ethical worldview more than a Muslim or atheist one (I’d be a pretty lousy Christian if I didn’t!) 

I’d also lean toward an attractive candidate over an ugly one – because most voters would probably vote for the former over the latter, all else being equal – and a rich one over a poor one – because a more well-financed candidate has a better chance, all things being equal.

After that, I’d probably have preferences in some of the other categories, too.  I’d rather have someone young than old, thin than fat, and healthy than sick – because the former indicate a candidate with a better statistical chance of being able to serve longer and at the peak of his/her powers. 

But again, it’s all about conservatism and electability.  I’d MUCH rather vote for an old, black, fat, atheist, gay, female conservative than a young, white, thin, Christian, straight male liberal!  

Because no matter how often leftists pretend that we’re all voting based on race, ideology and electability are much more important.

Which is yet one more proof of how diminished racism has become in America today.  So, sorry lefties, but race baiting isn’t going to work on most of us anymore.  You’re going to have to find legitimate, positive reasons for Americans to vote for you. 

And I’ve seen your candidates.  So…

Good luck with that! 

Que Mala/Crockett ‘28!

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Dems are Super-Racist to the Chinese, & Ben and Jerry’s Have Problems (posted 3/24/25)

The Democrats have been addicted to racism for a long time. 

No, I’m not talking about the way they built their entire economy around slavery, clinging to it like grim death until the Republicans formed a new party, elected a new president, and sent an army south – eventually commanded by a bad-arse future GOP president – to whip them and free their slaves.

And I’m not even talking about the way they stewed about that, formed the KKK and passed a raft of Jim Crow laws that they clung to like grim death for around 80 more years, until another GOP president sent the 101st Airborne to Little Rock to allow 9 black kids to go to a previously segregated high school.  (“I like Ike.  My bike likes Ike!”)

(“Let’s try A. Fonzarelli quotes for $200, Alex.”)

Nope.  I’m talking about the way the Dems have somehow – against all reason, logic and fairness – been able to project their own sins onto the GOP, and cudgel them with charges of racism for the last half-century or so.  Racism became the Dems’ first plan of attack, their Plan B, their Hail Mary, and their best defense. 

You couldn’t point out that Obama doubled the national debt in 8 years because math is racist.    You couldn’t point out that Jamaal Bowman obstructed a congressional vote by yanking a fire alarm, because fire suppression systems are racist.

You couldn’t point out that Que Mala could not excrete a sentence with a recognizable subject verb and object, because many African cultures have a rich traditional heritage of practicing ojibah-ahwoo-gawaymee.  Which is Swahili for “word salad.” 

And before you can look that up, I have to warn you that fact checking is racist!  

Which brings me back to my initial point: the Democrats have become addicted to racism.  And I’ll bet you can guess how they’ve been clinging to it.

That’s right: like grim death.

But as with most addictions, what once used to bring pleasure can start to go sideways. 

Maybe a guy used to enjoy a little bourbon – the brownest of the brown liquors – every now and again.  Like to celebrate special occasions, or to cope with a virulent strain of poison ivy that would kill a lesser man.  Or maybe to loosen the adhesions a bit when he’s sitting down to write a bit of deathless, comic political prose.

Well I’m not talking about that.  Because that’s some high-functioning, medicinal-quality self-care right there.  And I didn’t produce four insightful yet hilarious columns in just the last week, only to be told that I can’t imbibe in a little Kentucky inspiration in my own home!!

Perhaps I’ve said too much.  But let’s not get sidetracked. 

The Dems’ racism problem is the classical addict’s dilemma: as their dependency grew, they needed more and more racism, just to keep it together, and the supply could not keep up with their demand.  And now it’s interfering with their job, their quality of life, and their electoral performance.     

They’ve become so delusional that they look at a minimally racist country and see prejudice everywhere.  They’re like an anorexic looking into a mirror at her xylophone ribcage and instead seeing a Whoopi Goldberg-esque blob.

They don’t recognize how off-putting it is to claim that voter ID laws are racist, because black people could not possibly get an ID, like a normal person.  Or that DEI and quotas are essential, because without them no black person would ever be able to get into college or the job market again.  

Even when they try to pose as anti-racist in contexts that involve other ethnicities, they screw that up.  Liz Warren has made herself a national punchline by insisting that she’s as Indian as Sitting Bull, when anyone can see that she’s as Indian as Bull Conner.  (#wemustneverstopmockingher)

But my favorite recent example has surfaced as the Dems’ covid origins lies have been exposed.  When Trump – and many, many others – suggested that the virus escaped from a Chinese lab where viruses were studied and experimented with, DC Democrats got their backs up immediately: “Are you suggesting that Chinese researchers and scientists could have been dropped the ball in the lab? That’s RACIST!!”

So what was their enlightened, diversity-embracing, anti-racist alternative to the Chicom-phobic lab-leak theory?  Drum-roll, please…

The Chinese people are basically a cross between Gollum, Ozzy Osbourne, and carnival geeks, furtively stalking through grisly “wet markets” wolfing down every pangolin, muskrat and ocelot they could get their bestial claws on.

That sounds nice, doesn’t it?

Okay, I’m no ocelotologist – it was between that and English, and I chose what turned out to be the less lucrative field – so I don’t know if China is rich in ocelots.  But if the enlightened Dems are correct, the voracious untermenschen Chinese probably gobbled them all up long ago. 

Come to think of it, that’s probably why the wooly mammoths are extinct.  “Siri, please explain the connection between disgusting Chinese dietary habits and the extinction of the mammoth?”

Annnnddd… that’s why the Chinese can’t have nice things, like sabre tooth tigers, mammoths, and pet pangolins.  Because of their unspeakably barbaric gustatory predilections. 

So to summarize, here is the Democrats’ position:

The hypothesis that Chinese scientists followed insufficiently rigorous containment protocols?    Horribly, horribly racist.

The idea that Chinese people are essentially troglodytic creatures fighting in a muddy moshpit over the chance to devour baskets full of squealing critters alive as if they were living chum thrown to Hannibal Lecter’s bloodthirsty hogs? 

Obviously true, and you’re welcome, inscrutable Asian friends. 

Nice job, non-racist-stereotyping leftists!   

Speaking of leftists eating their own… did you hear that Ben and Jerry’s CEO just got fired for being too much of an extreme leftist whack job?

(Thank you, Kentucky distillers, for that top-notch transition!)

I know: that sounds like the setup for a joke.  Getting fired from Mao and Jerry’s – I would also accept “Ben and Lenin’s” – for being too far left is like getting kicked out of the Sex Pistols for extreme rudeness. 

But Ben and Jerry sold their crunchy little business to corporate giant Unilever a few decades ago – way to rebel against the Man, you hippy hypocrites! – and like sane businesses everywhere, Unilever prefers not to lose money.

Enter B&J CEO David Stever, a leftist who chafes at having to consider customer preferences when there is social justice virtue signaling to be done.  He and his supporters have had several run-ins with Unilever because of his hostility to Israel and soft spot for “Palestinians.” 

(Unilever’s first clue should have been when the wokesters introduced “Jihadi Crunch,” “Cookies and IED,” and Hamas-cicles.)   

They’ve also aligned themselves with lefty activist groups, put out a Fourth of July message that declared that the US was “founded on stolen indigenous land,” and supported Kamala for president.

The last straw was apparently a recent social media post celebrating – and I swear I am not making this up – “National Abortion Providers Appreciation Day.” 

I would have loved to eavesdrop on the meeting that took place between a few adults from Unilever and the Social Justice Warrior Hippies after that post went viral:

Unilever Adult 1 (UA1): Why the hell would you post about National Abortionist Day?!

SJW Hippie (SJWH) 1: Do you think it’s gotten too commercial?

SJWH 2: It’s about appreciation.

UA2: Yeah, appreciating abortionists!

SJWH 1: Should we have said “health care providers?”

UA1 (palming his forehead): What do you think we sell?

SJWH 2: Raised consciousness.

SJWH 3: Our truth.

SJWH1: Moral superiority.

UA 1: We sell ICE CREAM!

SJWHs (chastened): Of course.  Ice cream.

SJWH 4: I was going to say that.

SJWH 2: Shut up, Bruce.  (quietly) Brown noser.

UA 1:  And who do abortionists kill?

SJWH 1 (hesitantly): I don’t like the word “kill.”

UA 2: I don’t care!  Who do they kill?!

SJWH 1: Unwanted tissue masses?

SJWH 2: Part of a woman’s body?

SJWH 3: Zygotes?

UA 1 (rubbing his temples): I don’t want the answer your grievance study professors gave you.  I want the real answer.

SJWH 1 (fidgeting): I’m feeling triggered right n-

UA 1 (in a low, ominous tone): If you don’t give me the real answer, I’m going to drop a dime to Hulk Homan™ about the USAID grant you spent on smuggling in those illegals for your Pride Week S&M Festival last y-

SJWHs 1-4: KIDS!  Abortionists kill kids!

UA 1: That’s right.  And who LOVES eating ice cream?

SJWH 4 (looking at the others):  Martin Simpson?

UA 1: That’s right, it’s ki–  Wait, what?  Who is Martin Simpson?

SJWH 4: Hilarious genius, national treasure, writes for Cautious Optimism?

SJWH 2: Has a real problem with ice cream.  Loves the stuff.

SJWH 3: That and bourbon.

UA 2: How do you–  Nevermind. Why would I ask you about his eating habits?

SJWH 3 (looking at the others and shrugging): No idea.

SJWH 4:  Yeah, I wondered where you were going with that.

UA 1: Shut up, Bruce!  I wasn’t going anywhere wi–  Look, the point is, KIDS love eating ice cream.  And abortionists kill kids.  Do you get that?

SJWH 1:  Yeah… So?

UA 1: SO STOP POSTING ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU APPRECIATE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE KILLING OUR CUSTOMERS!!  YOU MORONS!

SJWH 4 (bursting into tears):  I’m triggered!  I’m triggered! 

UA 1: Shut up, Bruce!  You’re fired!  You’re all fired!!

SJWH 2: You can’t do that.

UA 1: I just did!

SJWH 3:  We’ll see what the judge has to say about that.

UA 1: What?  What are you talking about?

SJWH 1:  Maybe you haven’t heard.  But Judge Boasberg is now in charge of all firing in the United States.

SJWH 2:  Yeah!  He’ll make you give us all our jobs back.

UA 1 (diving over the table and grabbing SJWH 1’s throat):  Arrgggghhhh!

SJWH 4: You’re invading his personal space!  INAPPROPRIATE!

Everyone in the room: Shut up, Bruce!!

And, scene.

Hamas delenda est.