I began writing this column 24 hours ago, and as you will see, I was feeling momentarily down because of the rising violence in yet another American city, this time Kenosha, Wisconsin. But the RNC convention has – to my surprise, actually –buoyed my spirits. I’m going to post a comparison between the DNC and the RNC convention in another day or so, and that column will be a lot sunnier. But for now…
You may have noticed that ever since I wrote several columns touting the virtues of being an optimist, an angry God has seemingly given us nothing but an unending series of causes for pessimism.
Our cities continue to be burned, vandalized and destroyed by peacefully vicious mobs, our low-T pols continue to curl up in a corner sucking their thumbs through holes that they’ve cut in their marginally effective masks, Big 10 football has been needlessly cancelled, and the Dem convention tormented us all with its unutterable terribleness.
And now comes Kenosha Wisconsin, with yet another example of racial arson and bad-faith public well-poisoning that is nearly infuriating enough to make even a pacifistic saint like myself give up and hew to Mencken’s old saying: “Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hand, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”
Yeah. It’s been that type of week.
The most infuriating thing about the latest drama is its predictability: an African-American man is shot by cops. The MSM and racist Left (but I repeat myself) – before they know anything about the case at all — immediately spin their narrative demonizing the cops and white folks and America, and sacralizing the black “victim.”
By the way, remember back in 2009, when Obama was asked about the cops temporarily arresting his academic buddy Henry Louis Gates? If you don’t, Gates was a terribly oppressed multimillionaire Harvard professor who locked himself out of his rented house, and then threw a race-card-playing fit when the cops were called by a neighbor who saw… a man she didn’t know breaking into a neighboring house.
Obama’s response has basically been echoed by one leftist rage mob after another for the last 20 years. He said, “While I wasn’t there, and I don’t know all the facts… the cops acted stupidly.”
Which is funny, because I remember that when I was a know-it-all teenager – unlike the humble polymath that I later blossomed into, and whom you know and love today – my dad told me, “If you don’t know all the facts… shut your yap.”
But Obama’s dad was a creep who impregnated his daft mom and then was never seen again, so when he was in his late 40s, Obama still didn’t know what I had learned when I was 15. (Also, if I’d written an autobiography when I’d accomplished as much as Obama did, the title would not have been “Dreams From my Father,” but “Eyerolls from My Father.” And it would have been a hilariously wise book, unlike the pedestrian drivel put out by the small man who used to be our prez.)
Where was I? Oh yeah.
Another African-American male gets shot, and before we hear any of the actual facts, his relatives and friends say that when he wasn’t helping old ladies across the street, he was rescuing kittens from trees and volunteering at the local soup kitchen. Until – for no reason! — the rabid klansman cops showed up for no reason and shot him. For no reason.
And mobs of rioting thugs whom the MSM pretends are the descendants of MLK conducting a peaceful civil rights protest go on an orgy of beating innocent victims and damaging or stealing millions of dollars’ worth of other people’s property.
Then, bit by bit, the truth starts to come out.
The “innocent” victim turns out to be a career criminal. He never rescued a kitten in his life, and the only time he ever laid hands on any only old ladies was to mug them, or worse. The cops showed up because they were called to an active crime scene, by non-criminal members of the black community. The “unarmed” saint was either armed or in the process of arming himself – and virtually always either fighting with cops or disobeying their lawful orders – when he was legitimately shot.
Equally predictably, a sniveling politician comes out to encourage the rioters and insult the regular citizens who would rather not be beaten and robbed by the mob. Wussy McPussington in Minneapolis, Beetlejuice Troll Doll in Chicago, Durkan in Seattle, Ted “I want my mommy” Wheeler in Portland.
And now Wisconsin Governor Tony Evers. (You may be surprised that he spells with it a “y” rather than an “i.”) From guess which party?
If you haven’t seen this guy, I can paint a word picture: Think of actor James Cromwell, from the adorable pig movie Babe; then think of his dimwitted cousin, after having been dosed with a potent mixture of estrogen and an experimental, IQ-suppressing narcotic. (Google them both, and then thank me for my keen powers of observation later.)
So what did this guy say, in the first paragraph of his public statement? “While we do not have all of the details yet, what we know for certain is that he is not the first Black man or person to have been shot or injured or mercilessly killed at the hands of individuals in law enforcement in our state or our country.”
Oh, Tony. To quote a late American politician (God rest his soul) who was also prone to gaffes and stupid statements and rambling race-baiting: “C’mon man!”
You know that Evers is the kind of ineffectual pol who would watch with a smug half-smile on his big vacant head while a bunch of peace-loving rioters stomped by chanting, “Pigs in a blanket, fry ‘em like bacon!” And like Obama, he’s not going to let a complete absence of facts or knowledge or judgment stop him from making a racially inflammatory slur on the cops who protect his sorry self.
So now 48 hours have passed, and we DO have a lot of the details of this case. And you don’t have to have borrowed my magical wizard hat to have predicted what we’ve found out. If he had waited until he actually knew something before he spoke, here’s what Evers’ corrected statement would have sounded like:
“Now that we have many of the details, we know for certain that Blake is not the first violent convict who was allegedly assaulting another woman while being wanted on a warrant for his second sexual assault charge, and who, when his black neighbors called the cops, fought with those cops and ignored their lawful commands and tried to get into his car to attempt to arm himself, as he had already done five years ago in a similar case that was ended only because a police dog took him down before he could force the cops to shoot him that time…. Um… to be… um, injured at the hands of…I guess… cops who were completely justified in shooting his violent, recidivist arse.”
That doesn’t have the same self-righteous ring to it, does it, Tone Loco? (Yes, that’s a 30-year-old rapper reference. Because I’m a renaissance man.)
If Evers were a better man, he would attend Blake’s trial. And if the facts of the case turn out to be what they now look like – Blake is a repeat, violent criminal and sex offender who was only shot after he fought with cops and shrugged off a taser and went for a weapon – Evers should apologize to the cop who had to shoot Blake.
But I don’t think the cop expects that. In fact, I’ll bet that – given what he knows about Evers’ malicious political ideology – he would settle for the milder insult of Evers sitting next to him after Blake is convicted, and patting him on the back, and saying, “That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.”
Avenatti/ Toni Evers 2020!
Martin Simpson 