Tag: Politics

Part 2: The Laws that Determine the Legitimacy of Deporting “Non-Criminal” Illegals (posted 2/5/26)

Yesterday I gave a brief overview of the national laws (the Constitution and our various immigration laws) that should determine issues such as sanctuary jurisdictions and the types of protests that are legal and those that aren’t. 

Today I’m going to delineate the propriety of deporting illegals who have committed no crimes other than immigration-related offenses.

One constant refrain from well-meaning lefties (and not-so-well-meaning ones) is that “undocumented” aliens who commit no crimes unrelated to immigration are not criminals, and that Trump lied when he promised to deport ONLY the “worst of the worst” who commit other, non-immigration related crimes.

Taking the second point first, they are either mistaken or lying.  Because while Trump and many other administration figures have repeatedly said that they are prioritizing and going after the worst first – which is pragmatic and wise – they’ve also repeatedly said that everybody who is here illegally has to go back to their home countries. 

To the extent that other illegals get caught up in raids or arrests that target the doubly-criminal ones, that was not the immediate intent, but it’s also fair and justified.

Which leaves us with the assertion that entering the country illegally is not a crime.  (I think it was the scholar and Mensa member AOC who said that to Tom Homan in a congressional hearing.  And promptly got her juicy booty smacked with facts, rhetorically speaking.) (Also, her words, not mine.)

Of course, coming here illegally – by coming in anywhere but at a designated port of entry, or with fraudulent documents, etc. – is a crime, under 18 U.S.C. 1325.  Specifically, it is a federal misdemeanor, which is punishable by a fine of up to $250 and a maximum sentence of 6 months in jail, followed by deportation.  (In the vast majority of cases, the illegal immigrant has usually just been detained/jailed for long enough to deport him, since that is logistically much easier and quicker.)  If anyone re-enters after having once been deported, their violation is then raised to a felony.

So no, there are no “non-criminal” “undocumented” illegal aliens, no matter how many times a pink-haired zealot screams that at an ICE agent, or on TikTok, or at the sky.

A common refrain is that illegals who get caught and then claim asylum in America are here legally.  This is also untrue in the vast majority of cases.

There is a legal process for claiming asylum.  Although they are supposed to make that claim at a designated port of entry when they arrive, illegals can also make that request (using form I-589) after they’ve come in, though they MUST do so within a year of their illegal entry.  In other words, in the tens of thousands of cases in which an illegal who has been here longer than one year (and in many cases, for decades) gets caught and THEN claims asylum, those claims are illegitimate, and the immigrant is subject to immediate deportation.

The Biden administration, as part of their “Flood the Nation with Illegal Democrat Voters” program, created the CBP One app to allow every illegal in the country to claim asylum.  But the reality is that the vast majority of asylum claims are unsuccessful, since they require that the immigrant was being persecuted in their home country for one of five specific reasons (race, religion, etc.).  Those are very hard to prove, and in fact are almost never successful.

(Biden added an extra layer of slimy duplicity to the system through the CBP One dodge. Instead of the traditional process of meeting with the asylum seeker immediately and then making a decision promptly, Biden routinely gave CBP One users an appointment for anywhere from three to five years or more in the future, and then waved them in. 

Of course the Dems knew that almost no illegals would ever show up for those appointments.  And they didn’t want them to.  They  allowed them to melt into the country and stay for years, after which a future Dem administration (and some spineless RINOs) would weep over the cruelty of deporting people who had been here for years, and then grant a blanket amnesty.  We didn’t hate the Biden administration enough.)    

Ironically, one of the few groups who have a bulletproof case for asylee status in recent years is the small number of white South Africans who applied after suffering a wave of vicious criminal attacks because of the color of their skin.  This has been clearly documented through many recordings of the racist songs (“Kill the Boer!  Kill the [white] farmer!”) at political rallies of the racist majority government, and in the official, written policies of that government.

And boy was it fun to watch the furious apoplexy of the whitey-hating leftist American radicals when those few South Africans were allowed into America!

Back to asylum claims: the reality – which everyone knows but which the left will go to great lengths to avoid admitting – is that the vast majority of asylum claims are invalid.  Because the vast majority of immigrants want to come here because this is a wealthy country that offers many opportunities and benefits, which can be gained by either pursuing your own dreams through hard work and grit, or by living on our suicidally generous welfare benefits, which were never intended to go to foreigners.    

Both are understandable motivations, but neither are legal reasons to receive asylum.

I sympathize with the former group and have no hard feelings toward them, even though they still need to go home, and then apply for legal, vetted entry, which is neither an entitlement nor a guarantee.  But I have contempt for the second group, and would like to see them immediately tossed out of the country like they were low-down four-flushers being tossed out of swinging saloon doors by John Wayne.

Having said all that, the constant claims that “the ‘non-criminal’ ‘undocumented’ have broken no laws except for their illegal entry” are in reality never true.  Because once you come here illegally (again, a misdemeanor that makes you legally deportable by itself), you can’t avoid committing further and repeated crimes.  

In fact, most of the basic aspects of modern life – buying a home, driving, and working – are criminal acts when done by illegals.

Legal foreign residents can own a home in America (as they can’t in most other countries), but quasi-legal or temporarily legal foreigners (such as asylum seekers, green card holders and DACA recipients) have to wait to close on a house or mortgage until their claims are legally granted.  But illegals cannot get a mortgage for a house, and if they attempted to buy with cash, the source of that money would have to be legally vetted by the government. 

In other words, no Kilmars – i.e. “Maryland dads” hoping to buy with cash from their gang activities and human and drug smuggling – can legally buy a home in America.   

If illegals drive (which most do), they are committing multiple other crimes in the process.  What do cops always ask for when they pull you over?  License, registration and proof of insurance.  

In most states you can’t get a driver’s license if you’re here illegally.  Even if you’re in a blue state which shadily gives you a license, most other states don’t recognize it, so you’ll be driving without a license if you drive in any of those states.  (And there are tons of cases of blue states fraudulently giving non-English-speaking illegals drivers licenses and even CDLs, only to have them injure or kill Americans on the highways of all of our states.)

You also can’t legally buy and register a car if you’re here illegally in most states.  And of course if you don’t legally own it and can’t register it, then you can’t insure it either.  So any illegal who drives is almost certainly committing at least 3 additional crimes. Plus, if you’re ever caught speeding, that’s usually just a traffic infraction, but that escalates when you add no license, insurance or registration. 

If illegals work here, they are either working on a stolen or fraudulent social security number (which are crimes), or working under the table.  The latter involves several crimes, including tax evasion, facilitating non-payment of tax by their employers, and violating other legal requirements such as getting proper permits, licensing, submitting to proper inspections regarding safety, cleanliness and etc.

If they don’t work, they are exactly the kind of financial burden on our society that our legal immigration system was designed to exclude.  But they are also almost certainly either committing crimes to make money to survive on, or else illegally collecting various forms of welfare, such as housing benefits, SNAP benefits, Medicaid and/or free health care, (plus cash benefits in many blue states) – all of which are at least misdemeanors, often bumped up to felonies when committed in conjunction with other violations/crimes. 

Some illegals do work by getting an Individual Taxpayer Identification Number (ITIN) in lieu of a social security number (which they cannot legally get). But that is a gray area at best, and widely abused.  The IRS created the ITIN in 1996, without any congressional legislation or executive branch approval, which doesn’t seem proper, considering how much illegal behavior the ITIN facilitates.

It was supposedly intended “to address the need for tax compliance among individuals who do not have a valid Social Security number,” specifically “foreign nationals and other individuals who are not eligible for a SSN.”  I can’t blame the illegals for taking this option, but I can blame our federal government, for setting up a greedy and unfair way to profit from illegals, while creating a magnet to draw more of them here.

Unexpectedly!

The ITIN collects millions in social security-esque taxes from illegals, without giving them any entitlement to social security benefits later.  Lefties often complain about the unfairness of this situation, and as much as it pains me, I have to agree with them, up to a point. 

That point is the part where I say, “If illegals think the ITIN exploits them, there’s an easy way to fix that.  [begin Kinison filter] STOP BREAKING OUR IMMIGRATION LAWS AND GO BACK TO YOUR OWN COUNTRY! OH!  OHHHHHH!!! [end Kinison filter]    

Regardless of the initial reasons for creating the ITIN, it has now become an illegal-enabling disaster and an unethical governmental money grab, and should be drastically reformed. 

There is a legitimate reason for taxing foreigners who are here and working legally, and they should be required to pay the same income, sales and other taxes that citizens pay.  It also makes sense to subject them to an additional tax that would pay for their use of our emergency medical care, educational system etc. – as long as they are here and working her legally. 

But there is NO reason to give ITINs to illegals, thus helping them to circumvent and flout our immigration and employment laws.

Tomorrow in part 3, I’ll analyze the legality (or illegality) of the tactics most commonly employed by anti-ICE protesters.

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Looking at the Actual Laws – and Lawlessness – of the anti-ICE Protests, Part 1 (posted 2/4/26)

Many people have filled the air with claims about our immigration laws and the legitimacy of the anti-ICE protests.  Most of them claim to know the law, and to have it on their side. 

In this column and the next, I’m going to lay out the relevant laws and legal principles as I understand them, to try to counter a lot of what I think are false statements coming from the open borders and anti-ICE left.

Regular readers will know that I’m not a law-talkin’ guy (“Obscure Lionel Hutz references to lawyers on the Simpsons for $100, Alex”), but rather a humble retired English professor.  But I’ve followed a lot of legal writing and SCOTUS cases, and taught writing for pre-law students, so I think I’ve got at least a basic, informed amateur’s understanding of this topic.

Of course, I welcome any corrections or extra information from any actual lawyers among my readership.

I’m going to go from big picture to the small, starting with the Constitution and our national immigration laws.

On this topic, the most relevant parts of the constitution are the Supremacy Clause, which appears in Article 6, and the First Amendment.  The supremacy clause established that whenever a state law on an issue that affects the other states conflicts with the national law as embodied in the Constitution, the Constitution trumps the state law. 

Famous examples would be when Ike or Truman called out the National Guard into southern Democrat states who had passed Jim Crow laws infringing on the rights of black Americans.  The Guard forced blacks’ access to schools and other segregated businesses and institutions, because constitutional law trumped the state Democrats’ racist laws.

One question I’ve had for 10 years or more is why cities and states have been allowed to declare themselves to be “sanctuary” locations, and thus defy the federal government and break our immigration laws?  That would necessarily make them insurrectionists, wouldn’t it?  (Remember when the Democrats used to pretend to take that VERY seriously?)  

The supremacy clause clearly forbids sanctuary cities, and I’m not sure why Trump and conservatives in the GOP haven’t pushed back on this issue, and stopped that open defiance of federal law.

I’ve written elsewhere that at the very least, the feds should stop all federal funds from going to sanctuary cities, to force their compliance with our laws.  If the feds could cut off all federal highway funds to force states to lower their speed limits to 55 in the 1970s, they can certainly cut off funds to end illegal sanctuary policies.   Especially when you consider that lower speed limits hadn’t existed before, and higher limits didn’t break any laws – which local sanctuary ordinances clearly do. The feds just wanted the states to change their behavior, and used the power of the purse to force them to do so. 

The First Amendment’s guarantees of freedom of speech and religion are also crucial in the ongoing disputes.   The freedom of religion is more rarely contested, because until recently, most protestors weren’t stupid enough to intentionally disrupt worship services.  (Rumors that most of the protestors cannot tolerate being in the presence of a cross, lest they burst into flames and run shrieking into the darkness have not been confirmed.)

That is, until Don Lemon and a couple of radical activists led a platoon of morons into the church in Minneapolis a few weeks ago.  The charges against them are an easy legal call – always with the caveat that they get a judge or jury who feels bound to actually rule according to the law.  (Sadly, we can no longer take that for granted anymore.)  They violated many laws that day, starting when they forcibly entered the church, disrupted the service and interfered with the congregants’ freedom of worship, and they have no substantive legal defense.

Freedom of speech is the elephant in the room when it comes to the legality of protests.  Protestors of all political persuasions routinely claim constitutional approval for any and all actions they feel like taking, but that’s not what the First Amendment grants. As with many contentious constitutional issues, the essential distinctions often hang on very specific wording.

In this case, the amendment establishes “the right of the people PEACEABLY to assemble, and to petition the Government for the redress of grievances.”  Obviously, the capital letters are mine, and highlight the crucial point: peaceful protest is allowed and protected; violent protest is not.

A lot of con law jurisprudence has grown out of defining the kinds of protests that are disallowed.  The first (and easiest) was violent protests.  “Violence” is defined by various laws that establish various types and levels of criminal behavior, from property damage to assaults, throwing objects, spitting on people, etc.

Other restrictions developed over time to codify legal and logical definitions.  One such set of limitations involve “time, place and manner” restrictions.  “Time” encompasses limits to protests in the middle of the night or early morning.

 “Place” limits where protests can occur: you can’t go into private property (like a church or business), or a secure military base or other government facilities. Often the government can establish specific protest zones that balance the right of protesters to be heard and the right of others not to have the protests forced on them.  You also can’t protest in front of a judge’s home or a courthouse. 

I know: Technically, the scumbags who harassed Kavanaugh and other SCOTUS justices at their homes were breaking the law, and many activists protesting inside or right up against courthouses are too.  Enforcement, please!

“Manner” covers many issues, such as noise restrictions and decibel levels; capping the number of protestors allowed into a venue; requiring permits to allow road closures or other accommodations; restrictions based on threats to safety (e.g. protests can’t legally spill into roads and block traffic, or create overcrowding that could result in trampling or crushing injuries, etc.).  Protestors also can’t harass their targets, or interfere with legal activities such as going into a place of business, or carrying out legitimate governmental responsibilities such as investigating a crime, or detaining, questioning or arresting someone.

After reading that list, you’re thinking what I am: the anti-ICE mobs have been constantly violating a ton of those laws.  They routinely use constant, ear-splitting whistles, which can induce physical pain and injury, and are necessarily psychologically disorienting and aggravating.  They regularly block traffic, and box LEOs vehicles in.  Their entire raison d’etre is to illegally interfere with any enforcement of our immigration laws.    

The only possible justification I can see for this systematic and blatantly illegal behavior would be if our immigration laws were somehow illegitimate, not democratically passed, or violative of the Constitution.  And that is also just as clearly NOT the case.

I’ve written a previous column summarizing the overall development of our immigration laws from the Founding to the 1960s.   If you’d like to see the details, I posted that column on 4/2/25, and you can find it by scrolling back through my archives on the right side of the screen.

To summarize my summary… The first major immigration law was the Naturalization Act of 1790, and the two major laws in the next century were the Immigration Acts of 1882 and 1891.  My main takeaway from analyzing those acts is that even though we didn’t yet have a vast, bloated welfare system, we were still picky about who we let in, and we purposely chose those who would clearly benefit America.  (We rejected those who were physically or mentally sick, criminals, and those who would be financial burdens on the country, for example.)  In the early 20th century, after decades of booming immigration, we tightened our laws and dramatically decreased the number of immigrants from the ‘20s through the early ‘60s.

But in the 1960s and afterwards, we began to allow more people in, and our goals for immigration underwent an ideological drift to the left.  But initially, we did partially maintain our early, conservative focus on enlightened self-interest, prioritizing immigrants who would be most likely to contribute to our society.  We offered many visas and green cards to allow seasonal workers and students to come in temporarily.  The goal was that this would be a win-win; the seasonal worker immigrants would get better wages and working conditions than they could get in their home country, and the students would get an education that increased their skills and value.  

All of them would be expected to leave the country when their temporary status expired, but the cream of the crop of both white- and blue-collar immigrants would have a chance – after careful vetting – to apply for citizenship, and bring added value to America.

But even as that was going on, the leftist march through the institutions produced more intellectuals and government leaders who took a darker and darker view of America. They saw us as exploitative colonizers and capitalists who had victimized the Third World, so it was only fair that we generously take in more and more immigrants from the Third World, almost as a form of indirect reparations.

They felt guilty and selfish about choosing immigrants based on how they could benefit America, and they moved more toward allowing people in based on “compassion” and “empathy.”  The poorer and more dysfunctional your country was, the better the liberal “saviors” felt about letting you in.   

And, of course, race played a larger and larger role.  Because: leftism. 

Since previous waves of immigration had been drawn predominately from Europe, those immigrants had been mostly white. Which made the ascendant lefties feel really icky, and white-guilt-y.  So they started preferentially admitting more non-white people.  Which dove-tailed nicely with the fact that non-whites tend to vote heavily Democratic. 

To top that off, the leftist attraction to multiculturalism and disdain for traditional/conservative American culture meant that this latest wave of immigration broke from all earlier waves in one crucial way: we no longer insisted that immigrants assimilate to our culture.  Because our leftist betters know that all foreign cultures are morally superior to ours, it would be bigoted and xenophobic of us to expect them to adapt to us.  We need to accommodate them, and allow them to set up defiantly non-assimilating outposts of their own native cultures within our borders.

Annnnnddddd… we get the Muslim call to prayer blasted out of loudspeakers daily in Dearborn, Michigan; angry, racist Latinos burning the American flag and waving the Mexican flag in LA; and piratical fraudster Somali Muslims creating Mogadishu-St. Paul.

This leftist drift on immigration produced an addictive mix of power and pleasures which lefties found irresistible.  They could grow their own political power by admitting millions of morally superior racial victims who will vote for them forever, while also damaging their hated political enemy (conservative whitey!), and simultaneously experience the near-orgasmic pleasure of self-righteously virtue signaling while profiting from the whole mess.       

By the time Biden got control, they had weakened our immigration so much that they were emboldened to drop all pretenses – along with the border – and wave unvetted illegal immigrants in by the millions, for four long years.

Okay, that’s a lot of background.  Next up: I’ll look at the alleged non-criminal status of most illegal immigrants (spoiler alert: it doesn’t exist), and rebut the MSM claims about the legality of the anti-ICE protests one by one.

Hamas (and Trantifa) delenda est!

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Fatal Empathy (posted 2/2/26)

I talked to an old friend of mine the other day.  Regular readers have heard of him, because he’s one of a couple of lefties I’ve been close to for years. 

Many readers from the CO site – which I’m still hoping to be able to revive with CO, so please be patient – have commented to the effect of, “How can you be friends with a leftist, after everything they’ve done and everything you’ve said about what they’ve done?”

Which is a rational question to ask.  Though an even better question might be how can he be friends with me, after everything he thinks conservatives have done?  Especially since lefties are usually pretty quick to cut off and cancel anyone on the other political side, IMHO. 

The answer is that even though I think his politics are wildly wrong, and he thinks the same about mine, deep down we both know that there are some things more important than politics.  I’ve known him for 40 years, and he’s got a good heart.  I was godfather to one of his kids, and he introduced me to my smokeshow wife, and for that I will forever be in his debt.

I love him like a brother.  A lovable but addled and confused brother.  😊

The reason I mention all that is that since our conversation, I’ve been thinking about the chaos in Minneapolis, and I’ve come to the conclusion that good lefties are wrong about immigration and ICE for two main reasons: they’ve misunderstood the law, and they’ve misunderstood and/or misapplied empathy.

Empathy first.  The first time I heard the term “toxic empathy” was not very long ago, but it has become a hotly debated topic since then.   At first glance, the concept would appear to be oxymoronic – how could “empathy” ever be “toxic?”  But you don’t have to think very long to come up with tons of examples to prove that it often is.

Anyone who has been in or observed human relationships – watching one spouse enable another by making excuses for abuse; loaning money to somebody with a gambling problem; giving $20 to a homeless guy who uses it to buy the fentanyl that kills him; parents spoiling a child until he’s a 30-something basement-dweller – recognizes that reality.

The same negative results ensue on a political level, when government programs that are meant to help people actually incentivize bad behaviors that gravely damage the recipients.  Giving women welfare benefits only if there is no man in the house produces sky-high fatherlessness, and traps them in dysfunctional dependence, which is an unmitigated disaster.  Guaranteeing college loans to people to get worthless grievance studies degrees produces bitter 30-somethings with $200K in debt and a minimum wage job.  Etc.

But aside from the toxicity issue, empathy is very often only selective, on both the right and the left.  Some on our side empathized with the nonviolent people among the J6 protestors way more than we empathize with the non-violent among leftist protestors, because we basically agree with the former and disagree with the latter. 

But the lefties in Minneapolis and around the country have taken that to an extreme, IMHO.  I haven’t heard any lefties express empathy for Jocelyn Nungaray, Laken Riley, or any of the thousands of Americans who did nothing wrong, but were attacked or murdered by unvetted illegals.  But they have been gnashing their teeth and rending their garments over illegals who broke our laws (including wife-beating human smuggler Kilmar), and legal immigrant citizens who were briefly detained to confirm their legal status before being released.

The elite leftists have used a cloak of lies to try to turn the five-year-old boy with the cute backpack into a tiny, photogenic victim of cruel ICE, claiming that ICE “arrested” him.  The truth, of course is that ICE took care of the kid after they tried to take his criminal dad into custody, and the creepy POS fled, leaving the boy behind in freezing weather.

Yet the leftists condemn the ICE agents who cared for him, rather than the criminal dad who abandoned him.  Unexpectedly!

Speaking of kids, it’s been widely reported that around 300,000 illegal children have been snuck in and given into the custody of others – some probably relatives or friends of their parents, but many fraudsters posing as their parents to improve their chances of getting in, and many others either cartel-associated or cartel-coerced people who facilitate the sexual and other abuse of those children.

Anyone who actually cares about kids has to be horrified by the prospect of a third of a million small, powerless victims of the left’s pitiless policy of opening the border to unvetted waves of uncontrolled immigration and human smuggling.  And yet the elite left has been utterly silent about this massive crime. 

And when Homan announced last week that this administration has located and rescued around 145,000 of those victimized kids, the silence of those who can’t stop virtue signaling about, “Won’t somebody please think of the children?!” has been deafening. 

Not one word of celebration or relief.  Not even a grudging “good job” from the armies of those who claim to be the champions of “undocumented” children.  

Compare that to the tsunami of grief for Robin Good and Alex Pretti.  I know that many good lefties actually do grieve for those two, just as I and many other conservatives feel some sympathy for the tragic ending that their own disordered ideology led them to.  But I also know that many in the leftist elite are more than happy to exploit the deaths of those two for their own propagandistic political gain.

That much is clear from the way they’ve relentlessly lied about both cases.  They claim that Robin Good was an innocent mother who stumbled into an ICE action, and died while trying to flee the murderous agents, through no fault of her own. (The truth was that she and her partner had trained at an organized anti-ICE boot camp, went there to illegally interfere with agents, and was killed in the process of committing multiple crimes, including driving her car toward an agent who had already been hit and dragged by one of her political co-religionists previously.)

They claim that Alex Pretti was a noble nurse, murdered by ICE agents for the “crime” of trying to help a woman they were victimizing.  (The truth was that he was a repeated assaulter of ICE agents who went there to attack and interfere with their legal actions in a chaotic situation, and died in the process of committing multiple crimes.)  

Ironically, misplaced and toxic empathy played significant roles in both of their deaths.  Because one of the best examples of toxic empathy in government is the policy of going soft on crime, which both of the dead protestors had learned to expect.

Nationwide anti-ICE protests routinely violate a great many of our laws, and yet almost none of those in the mobs of protestors/agitators/rioters ever face legal consequences for their actions.  They aren’t arrested, or if they are, they are quickly released with all charges either dropped, or reduced to the equivalent of a traffic ticket.  (And that amounts to an actual reward, since they gain admiration and praise from their disordered companions for heroically “standing up to the fascists.”)  

Thus the protestors – exhilarated by an intoxicating mix of political hatred and a sense of their own moral superiority and the righteousness of their cause – see some of their companions screaming at the LEOs, and throwing the first objects or fireworks at them. And nothing happens to them.  So they join in, and things accelerate.

And soon, they end up believing that their opponents are basically powerless against them, and they will never face any consequences for their crimes, which they don’t even recognize or acknowledge ARE crimes.  

That process ends with Robin Good dead, and her partner wailing, “Why are they using real bullets?!”  (Anyone not drunk on an ideological fervor involving delusions of invulnerability can clearly see the obvious answer: When you attack armed LEOs and try to run over them with a real car, you can expect to catch a lot of real bullets.)

That process also ends with Alex Pretti’s death.  If law enforcement had arrested him shortly before, when he committed multiple crimes at a previous protest (interfering with an arrest, spitting at cops and damaging one of their vehicles, then fighting with one of them), he would still be alive today. 

But because he didn’t face an arrest 10 days earlier, he was emboldened to escalate his criminal behavior until he faced the end of his life 10 days later. 

And ironically, the actions of his comrades also played a huge role in his death.  One of their tactics has been to constantly blow whistles at an ear-splitting volume, which is obviously disorienting and extremely aggravating and even painful to the LEOs carrying out their legal tasks, as it is intended to be.

Because Pretti was carrying a gun – which he could legally do – to a legitimate law enforcement action where he intended to commit crimes – which he could NOT legally do – he had already put his life at great risk.  In the ensuing confusion, when one of the cops saw his weapon and called out, “Gun!” things instantly escalated, as they must.

Tragically, one cop had already gotten Pretti’s gun away from him when other cops – because he was struggling with them (which one cannot legally do), and because they were almost certainly not aware that he no longer had his gun on him – shot him.

Typically, in that situation a cop will let the other cops know when he has removed and secured the weapon from the criminal.  And it is very likely –to say the least – that the cop in this case tried to do that.

But because a mob of insurrectionist a-holes surrounded the cops and Pretti, blowing their deafening whistles, no one could have heard the information that would almost certainly have saved Pretti’s life.

And so Alex Pretti – just like Robin Good, and (as sad as this is to say) Ashli Babbitt – died, almost entirely because of his own reckless actions.

Next up: I’ve researched and will try to summarize the main legal issues underlying the anti-ICE and pro-illegal immigration wave that is sweeping the country.          

Hamas (and Trantifa) delenda est! 

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In Search of the Elusive “Moderate Democrat” (posted 1/30/26)

Over the last several years we’ve seen thousands of examples of the lunatic fringe of the left.  And since they are so disconcertingly entertaining and easy to mock, they have naturally garnered a lot of our attention.

From the Jerry Springer-style minstrel show antics of Jasmine Crockett to the dead muskrat that Maxine Waters wears as a wig, and from the dude pretending to be Rachel Levine to the White Walker pretending to be Cherokee princess Liz Warren, the absurdity of fringe leftists helps sane people to see them coming from a mile away, and discount anything they say.

But one group has done more damage, and that’s the faux moderates, i.e. far leftists who pose as sane, non-threatening center leftists.  The last two Democrat presidents have come from this group, for example. 

Barack Obama famously gave a speech proclaiming that “there are no red states or blue states, only the United States,” and he promised to be a unifier who would bring about financial prudence and the end of racial tension.

Annnndddd… he governed as a leftist ideologue, exacerbated racial divisions, rammed through a government takeover of health care that began failing immediately, and doubled the national debt in eight years. 

The late Joe Biden pretended to be a non-threatening moderate, and many gullible citizens voted for him specifically to avoid the wacky leftism of Beta O’Rourke, Spartacus Booker, Bill duh-Blasio, Bernie Sanders and Grandma Squanto Warren. (#wemustneverstopmockingher)

Annnndddd…then Biden’s team of embalmers and taxidermists governed as far left as Bernie would have.

That trend has continued to this very day.  For two good examples I give you Tampon Tim Walz and Abigail “White Witch of the North” Spanberger.

Que Mala picked Knucklehead as her VP because… well, because she has absolutely terrible judgment.  About every decision.  All the time.

But also because he was supposedly the safest and most “moderate/normie” choice.  She couldn’t pick another female or minority, because America would be rightly skeptical about a double-DEI ticket.  She couldn’t pick Josh Shapiro because her base is made up of jihad-adjacent, raging anti-Semites.  She couldn’t pick Mayor Pete because of the gayness.

I know.  She wanted to avoid the gay, so she ended up with… Jazz Hands?  (See “terrible judgment, every decision, all the time” above.)

Once Walz was chosen, the Democrat PR machinery clanked into motion.  “Walz is a football coach.  He’s a military man, with decades of service in the Guard.  When he’s not hunting, he’s fixing cars, and being “Minnesota Nice’.”

Annndddd…because God exists, and He loves us, we dodged that bullet.  And in the year since Trump took office, we’ve gotten tons of evidence of how devastating that bullet would have been if we hadn’t dodged it. 

Because it turns out that he knows nothing about football.  (You don’t “call a pick six,” you dope.)  Or about hunting.  (That’s the wrong end of the shotgun to hold, and the shells go in there, and that’s an Elmer Fudd hat, not a codpiece.)  Or about cars. 

Or about – I’m just guessing here – heterosexuality.

He’s only “Minnesota Nice” if that phrase means “prone to demonizing conservatives as Nazis and law enforcement as the Gestapo.”  And his “military” career consisted of spending decades at least a continent away from any war, and then quitting the minute he was supposed to lead his unit in an actual war zone.

And as soon as Trump started to actually try enforcing our laws and constitution, Walz has stoked the insurrectionist flames like the most nihilistic, wild-eyed revolutionary since Lenin. (If Lenin had been as effete and incompetent as he was evil.)

But Albino Spanberger might be the quintessential example of the faux moderate. 

She was elected as Virginia governor in November as the model “centrist Democrat.”  While fringe lunatics like Commie Mamdani and Jay “I want to see GOP children murdered in their mothers’ arms” Jones were getting elected mayor of NYC and AG of VA respectively, Spanberger was pitched as the anti-Mamdani. 

When conservatives pointed to the far-left candidates – Mamdani, Jones, that crazy wench who ran on an “I hate Christianity, country music and the South” platform in NASHVILLE(!) – as the extremist future of the Democrat party, smarter Dems held up Spanberger as the shining counter-example. 

“She won as a centrist in a purple state!  Forget the Crocketts and the Squad and the communist whack-jobs, Abby is the moderate, Great White Hope for the Democrat future!  (Well, they didn’t say “Great White Hope.”  But she’s certainly a super-white hope.)

Annnndddd…her first day in office she started pushing the most far-left, radical agenda that Virginia has ever seen.

She reversed Youngkin’s EO 47, which committed VA law enforcement to cooperate with ICE in deporting the worst criminal illegal aliens in their jails.  She proposed reducing minimum sentences for serious crimes like – I swear I’m not making this up – manslaughter and rape. 

And she doesn’t just love actual rape.  She’s also quite a fan of the financial kind, because she proposed a raft of new taxes on nearly everything, from deliveries and hotels to guns and ammunition, and a more than doubling of the top state income tax rate.  She wants to guarantee “free” (i.e. provided by Virginia taxpayers) education to illegals. 

And she wants to do everything possible to ensure crooked elections, including allowing voting over the internet (!), extending the time to receive late mail-in ballots and “cure” faulty ones, and making it ILLEGAL to hand-count ballots!

And she wants to change Columbus Day to “Indigenous People’s Day.”  (Insert your own Liz Warren joke here.) (#neverstopmocking)

In other words, Spanberger’s entire campaign was a lie.

Unexpectedly! 

The moral of the story is clear.  With the possible exception of John Fetterman, there is no such thing as a moderate Democrat anymore.  And tragically, medical science has not yet devised a way to induce a stroke in every elected Democrat, so that at least some of them would come out of it as reasonable humans.  (Sure, many others might die in the process.  But isn’t that a risk we should be willing to take?)

There are only communist/socialists, extreme-left Democrats, and far-left Democrats.  And any Dem who calls herself a “moderate” is – as I may have mentioned in a previous column – an evil, scummy liar.

Vote accordingly, America.     

Hamas (and Trantifa) delenda est!

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Minnesota Madness (posted 1/28/26)

Thanks again for all of your kind wishes at my mom’s death; I really appreciate all of the texts and emails I’ve gotten, and love you all. 

At the risk of intellectual whiplash, I turn from the passing of my amazing mother who is now in a much better place, to the turning of Minnesota into a much worse place, thanks to a motley assortment of malevolent, violent, lying communists.

As I’ve had a chance to catch up on the news for the last several days, I keep getting surprised by something that should not surprise me: yes, the radical left are inveterate liars, but it boggles the mind that even after so much practice, they are still so freaking terrible at it!

Consider just a few examples among many.

Over the last five years, they’ve never stopped yammering about how horrific insurrection is, and how it creates an existential threat to our democracy, and the perpetrators must be tracked down and hammered with the harshest penalties the law will allow. 

And by “insurrection,” they meant a couple of hundred unarmed idiots fist-fighting with cops at the capitol for a couple of hours, killing no one and (as far as I know) seriously injuring no one.  Also, a thousand or so Midwestern grandparents walked through the building, took some selfies, and then left within a half hour or so.

But now we’re seeing an insurrection going on for months, in real time, every day.   And if January 6th was an insurrection, then THIS one is an ultra-mega-super-duper insurrection, carried out by massive, armed mobs, working in coordination to attack LEOs who are enforcing our constitution and laws. 

So naturally, those same lefties are shrieking at the top of their lungs and demanding that the insurrectionists be harshly put down with all the force the State can muster.

HA! I kid because I love.

Of course they’re supporting the insurrectionists and demonizing law enforcement.  Because: evil scummy liars.

They’re also saying that entering the country illegally is not a crime, and that when Trump claims that it is, he’s Hitler.  Never mind that Obama gave many speeches saying the same things – we can’t tolerate people coming here illegally, and they should all be deported. 

Or that Bill Clinton left the loving embrace of a gullible mistress long enough to read the same message from his teleprompter, before running back to resume “polling the electorate” as soon as the cameras were off.  

The same creeps also celebrated when unarmed Ashli Babbitt got shot to death by a mediocre cop when she was crawling through a broken window into the capitol building.  The leftists said she got exactly what she deserved.

For the record, and because I hate double standards, I will also say that she did a very stupid thing that day, and that even though her death was tragic, she was primarily responsible for her own death.

Of course, leftist creeps all over Minnesota and the media are wailing when any of their violent co-religionists end up in Ashli Babbitt’s position.  It’s way more stupid and dangerous to do what Robin Good, Alex Pretti and thousands of violent leftists are doing every day – attacking ICE agents, ramming them with cars, shooting fireworks (and in a few cases bullets) at them, etc. – than to do what Babbitt did. 

And yet they are holding up Good and Pretti as heroes, and encouraging many more morons to join them in self-caused deaths.  Because: evil scummy liars.

But it’s not just violent stupidity.  It’s also routine, garden-variety stupidity. 

Do you remember the main talking point of dimwit Hakeem Jeffries and dozens of elected Dems during the fall shutdown? “The GOP is lying that illegals are getting Medicaid or other welfare benefits, because it’s illegal for them to take such benefits.” 

(Because if there’s one thing that we know above all else about illegals, it’s that they would never do anything…illegal?) 

Hakeem and those same scumbags now: “Cutting off billions in Medicaid and SNAP and welfare housing benefits will cause starvation and death among the millions of illegals who depend on those benefits…which we swore 7 minutes ago that none of them were receiving.”

D’oh!  Say it with me: evil scummy liars.

I must admit that I’ve gotten some schadenfreude-tastic fun out of watching some of the more absurd of the leftist imbeciles being on the receiving end of an industrial sized can of karmic whoop-ass.

How about the two evil wenches who bit two different LEOs?  One of those is in danger of losing a finger, and the two morons have been arrested and are facing a possible eight years in prison.   

The only thing surprising about that story is that after watching a lot of those lefty female rioters, I thought that the only thing any of them were biting were either pallets of Lil’ Debbies, or dozens of comically oversize turkey legs. 

And did you see the portly idiot who grabbed a flash-bang grenade and tried to throw it back at the cops?  When the inevitable happened – hilariously! – she ran back toward her comrades, screaming and holding her injured hand up.  Then, when she got within camera range of them, her drama-student instincts kicked in, and she fell to the ground, wailing.

This dope apparently didn’t understand the “BANG” part of “flash-BANG!”

On the bright side, at least the Marxist mope didn’t flash us.  Which would have been horrific and PTSD-inducing.   

Speaking of drama queens, my favorite recent LARPing narcissist is self-identified Antifa member Kyle Wagner. 

If you haven’t seen him, he looks exactly the way you would expect him to look: facial and neck tattoos, and two giant gauges in his earlobes in what I call the “I am totally unemployable” appearance package.  He also has described himself as a “master hate-baiter,” which is SO close to being accurate.

In an incendiary video he made several days ago, he wore a black t-shirt with a vulgar slogan on it, and a blue bandana around his neck, and he spoke with all the drama and bombast you’d expect from a guy who lives in mommy’s basement but fancies himself a revolutionary hero.

He stared into the camera and delivered a monologue about how leftist women need to realize that brave menfolk like him need to risk their lives to stop the Orange Fascist’s storm troopers: “We can’t end this without good men in the streets, armed and ready to protect innocent people from being gunned down by these massed murderers, these fascist occupiers.  I need boots on the ground and I need them prepared to do what needs to be done so that this does not cost more innocent lives. We do not have any more time to let this drag out. I know it sucks, but this is the Iron Front.”  Then he actually saluted, and said, “Vive la Resistance.”

Okay, Captain Keyboard. 

He posted a second video a little while later, in which he said that he cannot legally possess a firearm, but told others with guns to “show up.”

First, I wonder why Admiral Earlobes has been banned from possessing a gun.  Second, is this brave warrior actually going to let a fascist law keep him from carrying a gun anyway?  Third, is he really going to urge others to enter the fray with guns while he stands on the sidelines and tries to flirt with any female rhinoceri who might be attracted by self-dramatizing cowards?

The answer to that last question was answered in short order.  Because as soon as his video came to the attention of fascist overlords who might do something about it, he posted another video saying that, “they’re going to silence me.” 

Quoth the brave leader of men: “I am basically on the run now. You know, I have safe places and I have evacuations planned out, but, the way things are going, I’m going to have to be very resourceful, and that’s going to take support.  As I’ve said a million times, I am going to stay in this fight to the bitter end. I’m not gonna run away, but I will need some help.”

Is that not beautiful?  At the first hint that there might be consequences for his idiotic posing, this wuss tries to squeeze some money out of gullible leftists who might fall for his act. 

And that ending is chef’s-kiss perfect: “I’m fighting to the bitter end!  I’m not gonna run away!”

Says the guy who hits “send” on his video, and then immediately runs away.

By Monday afternoon, brave Kyle Wagner of the Fightin’ Minnesotans had pulled down all of his social media accounts.  And I know you’re disappointed, but his Venmo that he had used to solicit donations is no longer available.

Second verse, same as the first: Evil scummy liars.    

Hamas (and Trantifa) delenda est!

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More Lies, Fraud and Insurrection from Minneapolis (posted 1/16/26)

Okay dammit, I’ve got a few more thoughts on Minneapolis before I move on. 

I swear I’m trying so hard not to write about Minnesota in every column, but much like Michael Corleone in the terrible third Godfather movie, “Just when I think I’m out, they pull me back in.”

Or, to paraphrase, they are really flooding the zone with stupid, and I can’t avoid at least pointing that out in passing.

On Wednesday night, violent a-holes in Minneapolis attacked ANOTHER ICE agent. 

Unexpectedly!

This time the bad guy was an illegal who fled in his car, wrecked that, and then fled on foot.  When the agent caught up to him, he turned and fought.  When two other illegals in a nearby apartment saw what was going on, they charged out with a snow shovel and a broom handle, and started beating the ICE agent.  The illegal target then grabbed the shovel, and started beating the ICE agent.

Then – FINALLY! – the ICE agent shot the guy in the leg.  After which all three illegals went back into the apartment and barricaded themselves inside.  More ICE agents arrived and ended up getting them out and arresting all three of them. 

That’s what happened. 

Here’s the NYT lede for that story: “Federal Agent Shoots Immigrant in the Leg in Minneapolis, one week after an ICE officer killed Renee Good in city.”

No mention that the “immigrant” was an ILLEGAL.  No mention that the illegal was fighting with the agent, or that two other illegals joined in that fight.  Just an agent, going around shooting immigrants. 

A freshman writing for his high school paper could fix that headline: “Illegal Attacks ICE Agent, gets shot, one week after Renee Good hit ICE agent with her car, got shot.” 

Say it with me, people: We don’t hate the media enough!

Also, I noticed something in this story that I haven’t seen anyone comment on: the agent actually shot the illegal in the leg. 

Ignorant lefties who have watched too much tv and don’t know a gun from a gunny sack are always asking, “Why don’t police just shoot a suspect in the leg?”  And now, when an ICE agent actually did that, the left is still whine-screaming about it.  You just can’t please some people.

On the other hand, you can definitely please other people, like me, and (I’m guessing) most of you reading this right now.  Because if the ICE agents start listening to us, the next time three illegals bring a shovel, a broom handle and their fists to a gunfight, we will be very pleased indeed if the ICE agents will shoot them. And not just in the leg, and not just once.  

Meanwhile, a new fraud story came out of Minneapolis yesterday, and you’ll be shocked to learn that those damn Swedes are at it again.

HA!  I kid.  It’s the Somalis.  Because of course it is.

It turns out that $700 million dollars in cash has been sent back to Somali through the Minneapolis Airport over the last 2 years.  And that’s only the amount that was “flagged,” which I’m guessing means that the money was disclosed or found, but then still allowed to be shipped out.

I’m also guessing that that money was way less than the full amount sent out, unknown and unflagged.  The story notes that that much cash, if it was all in $100 bills, would weigh 7.7 metric tons.  Through one airport!

This phenomenon needs to be considered in context of two other recent discoveries: the $8 billion dollars of fraud (at least!) committed by Somalis in Minnesota, and the official stats from the Center for Immigration Studies that as of December 2025, 81% of Somali households in Minnesota are on welfare. 

Rumors that the other 19% own daycares have not been confirmed.

But c’mon, man.    

Logically, if Somalis have committed that much fraud and received that much welfare, there is no way they got their hands on that much cash to send back to Somalia legitimately.  Not to mention that at least some of that taxpayer-provided money has gone to support Al-Shabaab. 

Which is not some delicious dish involving skewers of meat, but a hateful jihadist terror group.

Plus, at least one Somalian married her brother to commit immigration fraud, and should be denaturalized and deported immediately.

So if you’re keeping score at home, the most common career of Somalis in Somalia appears to be piracy at sea.  Until yesterday, it appeared that the most common career of Somalis in America is piracy on land.

And now it turns out they’re also very good at piracy in the skies. 

Next up: Somalis stow away on one of Elon’s rockets to the space station, and… wait for it… Somali pirates in space! 

In light of all of this, I wish the GOP would start accurately describing what the ICE-attacking mobs and sanctuary cities are doing as insurrection.  Because the leftist politicians, media figures and foot soldiers are by definition “rising in revolt, rebellion or resistance against civil authority or an established government.”

So we need to go full court press against insurrectionist sanctuary cities and states for the next 10 months:

1. Demand that their courts and jails hold illegal detainees for ICE to pick up. 

2. Charge the top politicians who refuse to do that with whatever federal crimes are most serious: obstruction, dereliction of duty, insurrection, whatever. 

3. In the meantime, cut off all federal funding to those cities and states for any purpose that can be even tangentially tied to illegals.

My ultra-conservative heart tells me to do that directly and across the board:  Since illegals are receiving food benefits, cut off all SNAP funds; since illegals are illegally receiving schooling, cut off all K-12 federal funds; since illegals are illegally attending colleges, cut off all college loans and funding.  Since they are illegally getting housing benefits, cut off all housing funds. 

But my crystal brain – better than a crystal ball, and more strategic than my ultra-conservative heart – suggests a better way to go about this. Because the dishonest Dems and their collaborators in the MSM would say that we were denying innocent Americans in those states the funds that they should rightly be receiving. 

So instead of cutting off all funds to those states and cities, I suggest that Trump announces a new plan with a public statement along these lines:  “We don’t want to do this.  We hate it.  But those states are screwing their own citizens by taking benefits away from them and giving them to illegals.  And the residents of all non-sanctuary states and cities – which are the majority of the country – do not consent to having their money taken from them and then given to illegals in corrupt sanctuary cities and states.

“So we’ve studied the numbers, and have determined how much money they’ve been illegally giving to non-citizens, whether through SNAP funds, housing benefits, educational benefits, etc.  For example, we’ve determined that Minnesota receives $30 billion in SNAP funds annually, and gives $10 billion of that to illegals.  [I’m making these numbers up to make the point.]

“Starting now, we’ll be giving the $20 billion Minnesota needs to give SNAP benefits ONLY to American citizens.  We’ll do the same with federal funding in every other category.  This will give voters in every state the chance to tell their leaders how they want that money spent.  If they are happy to lose their apartments and have their kids go hungry while tax money pays rent for illegals and feeds them and their families, so be it.

“Again, we will continue to fully fund the states so that they can support their American citizens.  If they want to re-direct much of that money to illegals, that’s up to them, and to you, their voters.”  

The beauty of this plan is that it would put the blame directly where it belongs: on the leftist politicians and activist groups who are ripping off American taxpayers for the benefit of illegals.

I think this would be an easy and popular argument to make to the American public.  I’d point to a precedent from the 1970s.  During the oil crisis when gas shortages started popping up, the feds said that since driving slower conserved gas, the national speed limit should go down from 70 to 55 mph.  When some states balked at that, the feds stopped highway funds for those states until they complied. 

And that wasn’t even to force them to obey a law they had been breaking. Speed limits weren’t in the constitution, and states had always set their own.  It wasn’t illegal to allow people to drive 65 or 70.  The feds just didn’t like it, and decided that they knew what was best.

And if you can withhold funds to force states to make their citizens drive slower, you can sure as hell withhold funds to force states to stop breaking federal laws, and stealing billions from the taxes paid by citizens of all other states!

I’ll end on a historical parallel that I’ve noticed. 

Small Frey, Jazz Hands and hundreds of protestors have been screaming at ICE to get out, saying they don’t want them here.  First, that’s not how any of this works, as they would know if they’d ever read part of the Constitution called The Supremacy Clause. 

Second, they sound exactly like some of their co-religionists from 165 years ago, when another bunch of Democrat insurrectionists told the federal government the same thing, as they attacked Fort Sumter.  “Stay of out of Charleston!  We don’t want you here!”

Today they’re calling face-tattooed gang bangers, child molesters and murderers “our neighbors.”  Which proves that they’re even dumber than the Democrats of yesteryear, who were at least smart enough to not try to sell the public on the lie that they were concerned about their black “neighbors.” 

They were also more honest. 

Because screaming, “We won’t let you have our property!” might sound more jarring, but it’s a lot more true than today’s Dems calling foreign criminals “our neighbors”

Hamas (and Trantifa) delenda est!

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Renee Good is Dead Because of Elite Leftist Liars (posted 1/12/26)

The Minneapolis ICE shooting has been on my mind this weekend, as I imagine it has been on many of yours.  I was already doing some research on crime and punishment in red vs. blue areas last week, when Renee Good ended up getting shot. 

And yes, there is an understood (herself) in between “getting” and “shot.”

And I know what some of you are thinking, and yes, I actually do some research and write about serious topics once in a while.  It’s not all “Pelosi is a mummy” and “Wow, is Liz Warren ever translucently white!” jokes around here.  (#wemustneverstopmockingher)

I’m going to return to some more general “why can’t leftists make sense about crime” ruminations in future columns, but for now, I’d like to throw out some thoughts on what has gone so aggravatingly wrong in Minneapolis.

To do so, I’m going to draw some connections to the Sovereign Citizens (SC) movement.  If you don’t know anything about SCs, you can search that topic, and find tons of videos of them having aggravating but hilarious run-ins with cops.  But I’ve got to warn you: the videos are addictive, and it’s easy to slide down the rabbit hole and end up watching several hours of them before you know it. 

To summarize, sovereign citizens believe – often at the urging of scammers selling kits and documents that push the SC delusion – that by declaring themselves SCs, they can exempt themselves from any state or federal laws which they find inconvenient or objectionable. 

The most common such laws are traffic and driving laws, which is why the vast majority of SC videos capture the entertaining lunacy that ensues when police pull over an SC, usually because a sovereign doesn’t believe he needs to register or insure his car, or have valid license plates or a driver’s license. 

A typical confrontation involves a sovereign citing a skewed take on an obscure or misunderstood law – they refer to Black’s Law Dictionary a lot, along with maritime law, English common law, international law, and every law but the law of unintended consequences.  (I.e., you don’t intend to get yanked out of your car, tased and cuffed, but – spoiler alert – that’s exactly where your psychotic blathering is going to take you.)

When a cop asks for license and registration, a sovereign will explain that the cop has no jurisdiction over him, and that he’s not driving, he’s “traveling,” and thus doesn’t need silly things like a license, plates or registration.  He asks for the cop’s name and badge number, but won’t identify himself, and always asks for him to call a supervisor. 

The process starts with, “I’m Officer X, and the reason I pulled you over is that you’ve got a homemade cardboard ‘plate’ instead of an official state license plate on your car.”  Depending on the cop’s patience and toleration for nonsense, the process ends anywhere from 4 minutes to a half-hour later, with the cop having to break the dope’s window, pull him out and arrest him.

In many cases, pepper spray or a taser is involved, and in my favorite cases, a cop will allow his K-9 to apply some dental persuasion – after endless warnings that the perp is going to get bit – to get the jerk to comply.

But he never complies! 

Until after a Good Boy or Girl latches on and engages in a spirited bout of “yank the moron back and forth,” at which point the sovereign screams, “What are you doing?!  He’s biting me!  What’s going on?  Why are you doing this?!”    

Good times. 

I bring this up because until Trump got re-elected and millions of leftists started systematically resisting and attacking ICE and other LEOs who are enforcing our immigration laws, I’d thought of sovereign citizens as a tiny, fringe group of dysfunctional humans with no effect on society, other than providing some entertaining YouTube videos.

But over the last year it has dawned on me that many people on the unhinged yet mainstream left have a lot in common with sovereign citizen nutjobs.  Specifically, sovereigns demonstrate four behaviors that leftists also display:

1. Sovereigns are great purveyors of self-serving double-standards.  They demand that a cop comply with every demand they have – identify yourself and your badge number; call a supervisor; prove your jurisdiction – while refusing to comply with any request from a cop (license, registration and insurance, step out of the car, etc.).

Similarly, leftists demand that cops show them warrants, or stop detaining an illegal to explain to every leftist bystander exactly what the legal basis for their action is, even as they continually refuse to follow legal commands of cops to back off, stop interfering, etc.  They demand that all LEOs be unmasked, while they insist that they themselves be allowed to commit crimes while masked.

 2. Sovereigns have a simple-minded, delusional kind of magical thinking about language that is weirdly fascinating to watch.  They act as if they can prevent a cop from doing his job just by reciting incantations.  If they say that they are “traveling, not driving” or that their car is actually “a ‘conveyance’ under maritime law,” or that they are not engaging in “commerce,” all traffic laws cease to apply.  If they repeat “I do not consent” to any order a cop gives them, the cop must let them go.    

Similarly, leftists think that a man calling himself a woman makes him a woman, and that calling a baby in the womb “a woman’s body” makes it so.  They think that calling illegals “undocumented citizens” makes them legal, and citizens.  They think that slapping a sign on their own backs that say “PRESS” or “MEDIC” gives them unhindered access and control over any crime scene.  

3. Sovereigns fancy themselves as experts on the law and their rights…and then proceed to demonstrate that they are Crockett-level stupid.  They insist that a cop has to call a supervisor if they request one.  (He doesn’t.) That a cop can’t make them get out of their car.  (He can.)  That impeding an investigation or resisting arrest aren’t crimes they can be charged with.  (They are.)   That identifying as a “sovereign citizen” means something.  (It doesn’t.)   

Similarly, ICE resisters believe that legally detaining a suspected illegal is “kidnapping.  (It isn’t.)  That taking them to a detention center where their identity and legal status can be confirmed is “disappearing” them.  (It isn’t.)  That a mayor or governor can defy federal law and prevent federal law enforcers from doing their jobs, and can arrest them if they do.  (Aw hell no!)  That calling yourself a “legal observer” means that you can disregard legal commands and hinder ICE actions.  (Nope!)     

4. Finally, sovereigns’ special brand of idiocy usually results in some great FAFO moments, which is what initially drew me into watching way too many SC videos.  Over and over again, a cocky sovereign starts out recording himself while he lectures the police about how he doesn’t have to obey any laws, and ends up in cuffs, coughing on pepper spray and crying like a little beeyotch about how he doesn’t understand what’s going on. 

And before last week, radical leftists have provided many examples of schadenfreude-tastic entertainment.  I remember watching a guy screaming at the cops, only to catch a bean-bag shotgun load in the groin, not to mention the idiot dancing around in an inflated dinosaur costume, until a cop squirted some pepper spray into the air vent in the costume, and he started staggering and flopping around like Joe Biden trying to step over a sandbag.  

But Renee Good’s case demonstrates the tragic side of the predictable results when mobs of imbeciles attack and harass law enforcement doing their jobs.  She was apparently as delusional as the most addled sovereign citizen, imagining herself as a brave iconoclast, resisting the false authority of an illegitimate legal system.

In reality, she was a brainwashed AWFL, steeped in hatred of authority, and cosplaying as a resister of fascism.  She had gone through some half-assed training and identified herself as a “legal observer” — which carries as much weight as “sovereign citizen” – and she and her “partner” inserted themselves into a legitimate law enforcement action, intending to impede it. 

A second wave of bystander videos show that she used her car to block the street, while her partner got out to record what I imagine they both thought was going to be some self-dramatizing social-justice-warrior street theatre.  She was there, obstructing for at least 3-6 minutes, at one point rhythmically honking her horn and dancing in her seat, narcissistically flouting the law and goading the cops. 

And she ended up orchestrating her own tragic death. 

For a great overview of the legal issues involved, check out a veteran prosecutor’s RedState article titled, “Minneapolis Is Not Even a Close Call.”

I wish the elite leftists who have been egging on their foot soldiers would read that, and stop adding fuel to the fire, because I think they’re clearly responsible for the growing conflicts that resulted in Renee Good’s self-destructive foolishness.  By preaching that ICE are fascists and that fighting them is a moral good, they delude them, and shield them from a healthy sense of  guilt and shame – or at least a basic sense of self-preservation! – that might otherwise have dissuaded them from the illegal path they took. 

Because threatening that ICE agent’s life by driving a 4000-pound vehicle toward him was not the first crime Renee Good committed that day.  When she drove to the scene of a legal law enforcement action, blocked the road and began a series of actions intended to draw more protestors/resisters, she interfered with law enforcement, a felony when accompanied by other illegal actions.

Actions such as disobeying lawful orders and resisting arrest, which she did when she refused to comply with cop’s orders to get out of her car.  (The SCOTUS case that said you must get out of your vehicle when a cop tells you to is called Pennsylvania vs. Mimms…which I first learned about while watching sovereign citizen videos.) 

Uninformed leftists who defend Renee Good driving toward the cop say that she wasn’t trying to hit him, but only to get away, which does not help her case.  First, because the law says that her intention is irrelevant, if her actions caused a cop to reasonably believe that she was going to hit him (which he did, because she did).  Second because “trying to get away” is fleeing/eluding, another felony. 

If the leftist politicians and media figures who claim to care about the leftist ICE resisters weren’t manipulating them for their own political purposes, they’d tell them the obvious truth:  Our immigration laws were democratically and legitimately passed, and they state that anybody who came here illegally has committed a crime and is subject to deportation.  Any agency or personnel who are enforcing those laws are behaving legally, and it’s a crime to try to impede, harass, interfere with or stop them.  So don’t do it! 

Because the best way to stop being stupid is for stupid to hurt. 

Good parents know this; slapping a toddler’s hand when she reaches for the stove is better than letting her touch it.  Good governments know it too.  An early arrest and some time in the county jail, or picking up garbage on the side of the highway is better than a slap on the wrist and then years in the state pen after you graduate to major felonies.

I’m thrilled that the administration is flooding Minnesota with 1000 more LEOs, because this kind of ongoing, slow-motion insurrection can’t be allowed to stand.  

And because we’re way past the “play stupid games, win stupid prizes” phase. 

We’re now at “play illegal games, win an early grave.”     

Hamas (and Trantifa) delenda est!

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Minnesota, Mamdani and Maduro, Oh My!(posted 1/9/26)

 We’re not even 10 days into the new year, and the elite lefties have already given us enough material to mock them about until Arbor Day, 2028.  Consider just the three examples of the cascading lawlessness in Minnesota, Mamdani’s horrific start as NYC mayor, and the Democrats’ towering hypocrisy about our incredible capture of Maduro and Mrs. Maduro.

By this time, you would have thought we’d be aware of all of the possible scandals that could come out of Minnesota.  However, as the third Wise Man said when he arrived late to the manger, “But wait! There’s myrrh!”   (Terrible dad joke?  Check.  Still hanging on to Christmas? Check.)

I am so happy to see the White House sending a whole team of fraud investigators from the DOJ to Minnesota.  Not just because it’s always satisfying to see some bad actors get what’s coming to them, but because as the revelations of systemic waste and criminality grow, there will be an impetus to apply the same scrutiny to the vast corruption throughout our federal and state governments. 

And that process has the potential to do a world of good.

It’s hard to believe how easy it was for Nick Shirley to pull out one or two pieces from the Somali scammer Jenga tower, which then immediately caused the accelerating collapse of the whole rotten mess.  And as a former English prof and recovering grammar nerd, I still can’t get over the beautifully evocative symbol of the multi-billion dollar fraud: the sign for the “Learing Center.”

I’m not immune to the occasional typo myself; regular readers will have spotted one or two in my columns from time to time.  (It’s no excuse that I do most of my writing after midnight, nor that medicinal bourbon is sometimes involved.) (Or is it?)  But still, a mistake in an email or an internet post is one thing.

A glaring error in a professionally printed sign is another.  Some Somali had to get hold of a computer – probably provided by a corrupt NGO called “Empowering our Neighbors, LLC” at the low, low cost of $1.2 million to taxpayers.  Then he had to try out several different names, finally landing on the generic-sounding “Quality Learning Center.”

Except that he wrote it as, “Kwalitee Learing Centaur.” 

Fortunately for him, he was able to hire a copy-editing service – probably provided by a corrupt NGO called “Literacy for our Neighbors, LLC” (that’s another $1.2 mil from the taxpayers).  And they cleaned up “Quality” and “Center,” but missed “Learing.”

When he took that verbiage to a sign-making business – “Empowering Signs for our Neighbors, LLC – which is located in a 180 -square-foot store-front in a six-business strip mall across from the railroad tracks.  (Amount billed to the taxpayers from those six businesses in 2025? $214 million.)

And because the workers there have been in this country for 10 years but still speak only in the series of clicks, whistles and glottal pops of Somali, nobody caught the missing “n.” 

Annnddddd…a multi-billion dollar fraud ring collapses, and leftist, race-hustling crooks in Minnesota get to lear a hard lesson!    

And that’s not to mention the latest disaster, with the foolish woman losing her life trying to run down the ICE agent.  Which was the predictable outcome of unhinged leftist media, politicians, and activists brainwashing gullible people by screaming, “ICE is the Gestapo! Enforcing our laws is fascist!” for the last several years.

What did they think was going to happen?

But just when you thought no leftists could be crazier than the Minnesota leftists, Zorro Mamdani took the oath of office in NYC and said, “Hold my Koran and watch this.”

And he hired a recidivist criminal to advise him on crime, and a raging anti-Semite (I know: which one?) to take charge of choosing personnel, and he started an initiative to allow disgruntled tenants on welfare to go after landlords whom they don’t think are giving them their money’s worth for the zero dollars they are paying for rent-controlled apartments. 

And for the leader of this “fix housing problems” unit, he chose a loon named Cea Weaver, who has more red flags than a May Day parade marching past Lenin’s tomb in Moscow.      

First are her eyes.  Look up “crazy eyes” in a dictionary, and right there is a picture of Cea Weaver.

Second, right before she got appointed, she started deleting all of her past social media with both translucently white, bony hands.  (This gal is so white she makes Liz Warren look like Idi Amin.)  (#wemustneverstopmockingher)

Third, because that’s not the way the internet works, some of her old posts and videos starting coming out.  And…yikes!

Turns out she really hates white people, which makes her as self-hating as those secular Jews carrying pro-Hamas signs at Ivy League protests.  She said that home ownership is racist and white supremacist.  She said that she wanted to “impoverish the white middle class” and that her goal is to “decrease the value of real estate.”  (Finally, a leftist political promise you can believe!) 

My favorite quote of hers is a juicy morsel of malignant misanthropy encased in a thick crust of academic-speak: “For centuries, we’ve really treated property as an individualized good and not a collective good,” and in the future we will transition to treating it as a collective good under a model of ‘shared equity.’  [That] will mean that families, especially white families, are going to have a different relationship to property.”

Translation: Your “different relationship to property” means that you won’t have any of it anymore.

Usually, this kind of zealot has fire in her belly, and can’t wait to get into power so she can immediately start grinding her capitalist enemies to dust beneath her.  But not Cea.

Because when a reporter stopped her and posed a few questions to her outside of her Brooklyn brownstone – in an area that white interlopers like herself have gentrified, by the way – she cried and ran back into her home.

I’m not making that up.  She literally burst into tears and fled into her house. 

But the star of the show – make that the sh*t show – is Mamdani himself, who gave what had to be the creepiest inaugural address ever.  He doubled down on all of his socialist rhetoric, and produced the chilling sound bite about how he is going to replace “the frigidity of rugged individualism with the warmth of collectivism.” 

That sound you hear is George Orwell – and 100 million victims of communist “warmth” – rolling in their graves.

Which brings us to Trump’s theatrical raid on another purveyor of collectivist warmth, the Venezuelan dictator Nicolas Maduro.  The raid itself was so spectacular – script by Shane Black, directed by Michael Bay, with the working title, “Mission Impossible 12: Grabbing Maduro!” – that even the most partisan Dem couldn’t criticize it.

So they immediately moved on to throwing every possible criticism at the wall, to see what sticks.  “It’s illegal.  It’s a kidnapping.  Maduro is the legitimate president.  What’s going to happen next?  Why didn’t the raiders capture the 47 people below Maduro on the commie flow-chart?” Etc.

There are actually legitimate questions and a lot of uncertainty about what the aftermath will be.  But rather than be serious statemen and raise those objections, the Dems couldn’t help but act like clowns, and reveal their own double-standards and hypocrisy.

Like Cryin’ Cea Weaver, they don’t seem to recognize that the internet and videotape exists, and you can’t run away from past statements you’ve made. 

Statements like Joe Biden’s (RIP) tweet from June of 2020: “Trump talks tough on Venezuela, but admires thugs and dictators like Nicolas Maduro.  As President, I will stand with the Venezuelan people and for democracy.”

That one aged like milk, didn’t it?

Or how about the fact that the Biden administration removed sanctions on Venezuela in 2023 in exchange for Maduro’s promise that Venezuela would hold free and fair elections.  Annnndddd… nope!  After Maduro lost in 2024, he just stayed in power and started persecuting Venezuelan opponents.

Thwarted by the real world as they so often are, on Biden’s way out the door last year, he and the Dems put out a $25 million bounty for info leading to the arrest or conviction or Maduro.  

So they were hoping that some mercenaries, or possible Jason Bourne or Reacher, would raid Maduro’s base, capture him, and spirit him away to the US to stand trial.  But when Trump did just that, the left raced to begin the caterwauling.

Which was hilarious, because just like in the raid on the Iranian nuke sites, the action was over before the usual suspects could even make their signs, hit the streets, and start with the chanting.

Still, it was fun to watch unemployed leftist ne’er-do-wells (When will they do well?  Ne’er!) put down their anime furry porn and stop in the middle of their latest piercing to rally on the streets against the evil, genocidal bombing of Venezuela. 

Annnndddd…the bombing is over!

It was also very entertaining to watch AWFLs and other nonbinary white guys protesting and weeping for the poor Venezuelans, on a split screen with scenes of thousands of wildly celebrating Venezuelans in city streets all over the world. 

It’s a cliché because it’s true: Trump’s superpower is getting his opponents to take the “20” side of every 80-20 issue, and to defend the indefensible.

So to recap, here are the groups and individuals the Democrats have rallied on behalf of since Trump has returned to office: human-smuggling, wife-beating gang member Kilmar; narco-terrorists in Miami Vice boats speeding toward America to profit from poisoning and murdering Americans; judges who blatantly violate laws to help illegals evade our law enforcement; a trust-fund puss who shot a CEO in the back like a coward; leftist trans-adjacent mentally ill or evil people who murdered Charlie Kirk and Christian school kids in two separate massacres; comically transparent Somali land-pirates; and a vicious leftist dictator who they were vociferously condemning 28 minutes ago. 

Great job, lefties!

Hamas (and Trantifa) delenda est!

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We Don’t Hate the Media, or Tim Walz, Enough (posted 1/8/26)

First note: I am going to have an announcement about the possible return of some version of the Cautious Optimism site soon, so stay tuned.

Second note: I drafted most of this column Wednesday morning, before the ICE agent in Minneapolis fired on the woman who interfered with an ICE raid and hit him with her car, in the aftermath of which Tim Walz added a new, pathetic chapter to the story of his terrible behavior during his entire political career.

I’m filing this column under one of my recurring categories: We Don’t Hate the Media Enough.

Consider this: the Somalian fraudsters in Minnesota haven’t come up with any new scams that we know of over the last couple of years.  They’ve just continued doing the industrial-scale fraud that they’ve been doing for the last couple of decades, since they gave up ocean-going piracy for land-based piracy. 

And Tim Walz isn’t any more implicated in the utter incompetence and negligence – or more likely,  blatant corruption, with all of the billion$ of fraudulent taxpayer ripoffs – than he was 18 months ago, or 16 months ago, or 13 months ago.     

But 18 months ago he became Que Mala’s nominee to be one heartbeat away from the presidency.  And 16 months ago he was campaigning hard for that office.  And 13 months ago he was on the presidential election ballot in all 50 states, and ended up getting the votes of tens of millions of Americans.  (Addled, unwise Americans, sure.  But still.  Americans.)

And for all of that time, the nationwide legacy media and journalists – the vaunted Fourth Estate; the guardians of our liberty; the crucial and necessary speakers of capital “T” Truth to capital “P” Power; the beneficiaries (along with all of us) of the cherished first amendment to our Constitution – did not write or speak one word about the tsunami of fraud that surrounded and enveloped Tim Walz, from his twinkle toes to the fingertips of his jazz hands.

And then one 20-something kid with a Mr. Microphone and a $100 video camera from Best Buy spent one afternoon walking around and showing Somalian fraud-atoria in grimy buildings with misspelled signs, and asking dead-eyed scammers where the kids were, and getting only a series of clicks and whistles, followed by, “No habla ingles.  You go now!” 

And before he could say, “That’s Spanish, not Somalian,” the doors to the fraud parlors were shut in his face.

And that kid, with his budget of 12 dollars and a bus pass, did what our finest J-school grads and the billion-dollar institutions propping them up could not and would not do: he told the truth about the corrupt leftist machine running Minnesota, and by implication, the truth about Tim Walz.

“But maybe the MSM just focused on more important stories, in their rigorous vetting of Walz?” you’re not asking, because you’re not as dumb as Jasmine Crockett.

Because: nope. 

Do you remember what the MSM told us about him, and his background?  He was a regular guy, a man’s man who coached football, and hunted, and bravely served our country in the National Guard, where he gained valuable combat experience. 

Except… when he tried to do a photo-op in his new hunting vest and Elmer Fudd hat, he struggled with his shotgun like AOC struggled with the SAT.   He looked like he had never even seen a shotgun before, let alone fired one.

And when he talked about football, he sounded like…I don’t know, Pete Buttigieg talking about football.  (Remember when Walz mentioned “calling a pick-six?”) 

And as a regular guy raised correctly in the Midwest, I can tell you that none of my regular guy friends ever flounced around like…how can I put this delicately?… an over-eager, leotard-wearing cast member in a huge Bob Fosse dance number.

And his time in the National Guard – where he did serve, and God bless him for it – did NOT involve any front-line combat.  Or even rear-echelon proximity to combat.  Or even being within the penumbras or emanations of the nearest theatre of war wherein combat might conceivably have broken out. 

In fact, after decades in the Guard, when it actually came time for the unit he was supposed to lead to go into combat, Terrible Timmy immediately retired from the Guard, leaving his troops to be led by someone else. 

But of course, we learned none of this from the legacy media, because they did everything they could to portray him as the exact opposite of what he really was, and is.  And the only possible defense they have is that by August of 2024 they were absolutely exhausted.

After all, they’d spent years covering for Joe Biden: ignoring his corruption; hiding his son’s status as a crack aficionado and bagman who funneled Chicom and Ukrainian oligarch cash to the Big Guy; pretending “Dr.” Jill was a doctor, and 9% inflation was hunky dory, and that all of us regularly trip over sandbags and fall up staircases and poop on the Pope. 

Then they had to turn on a dime and start pretending that Que Mala was erudite, and smart, and competent.  And that was no easy task. 

Then she drops Tampon Tim in their laps, and gives them their marching orders: Take this lunatic weirdo and make him look like a normal, Midwestern dude’s dude, so we don’t get completely wiped out among male voters.

The rest was history, and the corrupt, soulless, existentially dishonest MSM came dangerously close to lying Jazz Hands and the Cackler into the White House only 14 months ago. 

For that, we can never hate them enough.     

And so, I suggest that we say to Tim Walz, and the armies of over-paid, moral homunculi in the mainstream media – in the words of thousands of Somali scammers who have now gone to ground all over the Mogadishu-St. Paul area…

“You go now!” 

Hamas (and Trantifa) delenda est!

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Dems Get out of the Gate Quickly in 2026 (posted 1/5/26)

Well, the elite Democrats are starting off 2026 the same way they ended 2025: as condescending, creepy hypocrites. 

Under “condescending,” behold the wonder that is Larry Sabato.  You may remember Sabato because he’s the University of Virginia politics professor who founded the Center for Politics, which is laughably described as “nonpartisan.” 

But you probably don’t.  Because who cares? 

On the other hand, he is a near-perfect representative of our arrogant, educated, elite pundit class.  He’s highly educated, and even though he has nothing but disdain for regular people, he touts his Center as “work[ing] to promote civic engagement and participation.”  But I would argue that he’s no smarter than I am.

He has a lot political opinions, and is happy to yammer on about them.  So do I.  He has a BA, an MA and a PhD.  So do I.  He was Phi Beta Kappa.  So was I.  He was a Rhodes Scholar.  I…wasn’t.  He got his PhD from Oxford.  I…didn’t.  He has a earned a ton of money and a very high media profile by writing about politics.  I…

Look, let’s not get hung up on these meaningless comparisons.  Because everybody is different, and I have other, more impressive qualifications in my CV than he does.  For example, was Larry Sabato a four-time runner-up for People magazine’s Sexiest Man of the Year?  (Screw you, Patrick Dempsey, Chris Evans, Idris Alba and George Clooney!) 

My wife is hotter, my kids are better, and my Wonder Dog outclasses his low-IQ little stripper dog like the ones that several of the Kardashians probably carry around in their purses. 

Ok sure, I don’t know anything about his wife or kids, or if he even has a dog.  But I said what I said, and I stand by it 100%.

Anyway, Larry Sabato couldn’t even get 48 hours into 2026 without proving that he is a condescending jerk.  The proof came in his response to a statement by the new anchor of the CBS Evening News, someone named Tony Dokoupil.  

On New Year’s Day, Dokoupil started his tenure with an on-air mea culpa, acknowledging that most Americans don’t trust the legacy media any more. “On too many stories, the press has missed the story. Because we’ve taken into account the perspective of advocates and not the average American. Or we put too much weight in the analysis of academics or elites, and not enough on you.” 

To which all reasonably perceptive Americans said, “Duh!” 

Even though CBS has a lot to atone for, and the only rational response to Dokoupil’s message is, “We’ll believe it when we see it,” we should still allow ourselves to be pleasantly surprised when CBS makes even a baby step in the direction of doing the right thing.  Acknowledging reality and admitting fault is a good way for them to start a new year. 

But Sir Lawrence of Sabato begs to differ.  Because he immediately pushed his metaphorical glasses to the end of his nose and dialed the snoot factor up to 11 in a tweeted response to Dokoupil: “Absolutely! You wouldn’t want ‘academics and elites’ who have actually studied a subject to outweigh the off-the-cuff opinions of village idiots.”

[Sidebar: In this one response, Sabato showed himself to be the polar opposite of the late great William F. Buckley (peace be upon him), who famously said, “I’d rather be governed by 300 names drawn randomly from the Boston phone book than by the faculty of Harvard University.”]

Got that?  If you disagree with Larry Sabato and his ilk, you’re a village idiot!

In case you’ve forgotten the lofty goal of Larry’s Center at UVA, I’ll repeat it: “working to promote civic engagement and participation.” 

And obviously, the best way to accomplish that is to smear any dissenters as pitchfork-wielding mouth-breathers. “Listen up, morons!  You’re all idiots, and your uninformed opinions are crap.  So ‘engage with civics’ by bowing down to me as I lecture you on your wrongness, and then get out there and ‘participate,’ by voting exactly the way we experts tell you to!”  

That level of clueless narcissism is hard to comprehend.  Sabato’s job for decades has been to eat, drink and breathe politics.  And yet, in the Year of Our Lord 2026, he can still unselfconsciously and unironically tout the opinions of “academics and elites who have actually studied a subject,” as if we’ve all just woken up from a deep, decades-long, magical sleep.

After all, medical elitists like Dr. Fauci and Dr. Scarf – I don’t remember her name and won’t waste the time to look it up, but you know who I’m talking about – “actually studied” communicable diseases for years.

Annnnddddd…they said covid came from delicious pangolins that untermenschen ChiComs gobbled like circus geeks devouring live chickens; and that masks would stop the spread; and that the vax would keep you from getting it; no, the vax and then 18 more boosters; and that six feet of distance would keep you safe; and that you could attend screaming mob protests of St. George Floyd’s death safely, but going to church would kill you. 

And intelligence elites spent a lifetime actually studying intel and disinformation. 

Annnnddddd… 51 of them swore that Hunter Biden’s laptop – which contained hours of video of Hunter Biden snorting crack off of the behinds of hookers of many nations, along with Hunter Biden’s emails proving that he was a bagman for ChiCom apparatchiks and Ukrainian oligarchs, and that he kicked up 10% of his illegal bribes to “the big man” – was actually a Russian fabrication.  And that the non-existent Trump pee tape existed, and was proof that he was a Moscow-ian Candidate.

And our leftist policy experts assured us that the border couldn’t be closed without radical new legislation, and that illegals weren’t getting SNAP benefits or Medicaid, and that the Somali Learing Center was a world-class educational institution, well worth the $8 million per student cost.

And our leftist media experts assured us that Jen “Circle Back” Psaki and KJP were geniuses, and that the act of a male declaring himself a female magically turns all of his Y chromosomes to Xs.  And that Joe Biden was mentally sharp, with the physical vigor of an Olympic triathlete gold medalist whose strongest events were stair climbing and long-jumping over sandbags.    

But you don’t have to look to the army of lefty elite “experts” who have been relentlessly wrong or lying about everything all the time.  You can just look at the King of Elite Academics: Larry Sabato.

In addition to all of his academic credentials, Sabato started a website to make political predictions, and he modestly named it, “Sabato’s Crystal Ball.” 

Because of course he did.

Annnnddd… Sabato’s Crystal Ball has been about as accurate as a Magic Eight Ball. 

Unexpectedly!

In 2016, Sabato predicted a Cankles McPantsuit blowout win against Trump by an electoral vote count of 322-216, almost the exact opposite of what happened.  He also missed the House and Senate majorities. 

He got 2020 “right,” when Joey Gaffes won in the Most Legitimate Election Ever™.  (That was the one that hinged on 11 million Democrat voters who had never been seen before November of 2020, and who have never been seen since.)

But you’ll be shocked to know that he wrongly predicted that Que Mala would win the Electoral College (and the presidency) by 14 EC votes, when as we all know, she got wiped out by nearly 100 EC votes. 

Because God exists, and He loves us.

So if I’m reading the record correctly, the Village Idiots went 2-1, while Sabato went 1-2, with a big asterisk in front of the 1.

Accordingly, if it’s all the same to you, Larry, you can keep your Crystal Ball, and I’ll rely on my Crystal Brain, along with my Magic Eight Ball.

Which I just asked three questions: 

1. Is Larry Sabato half as smart as he thinks he is? 

2. Can a randomly chosen village idiot out-think Larry Sabato? 

3. Can Larry Sabato distinguish his fundament from a hole in the ground?

And I got, “My sources say no,” “You may rely on it,” and, “Reply hazy, try again,” respectively.   

Would you look at that?  The column’s already over, and I only got to “condescending elite Dems.”

So “creepy” and “hypocritical” Dems will be my topics next time. 

Hamas (and Trantifa) delenda est!

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